hi,

@strawberries-n-milk

i'm just here to vent / rant

157 posts

My first corporate job where I feel happy to be a part of! Honestly, the company itself is pretty cool, in terms of what they create and how much they've grown. It's been exciting to learn and I can only hope I can be successful in what they expect of me going forward.

My manager, and her higher ups, are trying really hard to get me to stay. It actually makes me laugh because I never felt like my work was appreciated. I always said that there hasn't been a day where I got off work and felt like I truly accomplished or conquered the day. But she sat with me and told me that "they (the executives) see [my] work." And now they want to offer me a 9% raise, which would've been nice to hear awhile back, but since I was already offered more at the other company — i've been ready to leave. I don't think anything can make me stay. It's only scary because I don't know how the other job will be in terms of my work plate... But I rather take on a new challenge now. Makes me feel bad cause now my work bestie is saying I shouldn't go, even though she encouraged it all this time 😂

I have officially received and signed my offer letter for a new position! However, they had me a little nervous because they gave me a verbal offer on Friday and hadn't sent out anything until Wednesday (which I had followed up twice). I'm excited, but also nervous. This current company really put me through the wringer. I never had a good trainer, my team members were hard to contact (very slow responses or sometimes even no response at all), they threw me into a position that the company has never had before (without a pay raise), and i've never felt really accomplished in any of the work I did. I'm hoping that this new company will allow for better growth, but i'm pretty scared to start over again. I always hate being the new kid.

It's been 7 years since I last saw my cousins from Vietnam. It's so weird to see them grow into young adults when they were just babies when we last met. It's not like I raised them or anything, but I feel so proud of the oldest — as she talks about wanting to take care of my grandma, understands that credit in the states is important, and aims to get a house in 2 years. She says she'd stay in Iowa because it's more peaceful, especially for my grandma, but I feel like it'd be better for them to grow outside of this place (and I know my mom would be much happier if my grandma was in Texas with us). I guess we will see how all of them change over the next few years.

This job still pisses me off so much.

Nothing I ever do will ever be enough. And maybe he feels that way too, but his doubts for me have been never ending...since day one. Very ironic, but I get it. It's a secret I held, but I know I didn't do anything that was truly wrong against him (besides keeping the secret). And whether anyone believes me or not — I know I've only ever shown my love for one person for the past six years. And it continues to be him.

My manager has come up to me twice saying, "If you don't like your position, let me know... just don't leave me." Lmaooo! Girl... if you knew... But I really can't leave right now. I have to make money!!! And nobody else wants to hire me yet 🗿

"If reincarnation is real, i'd like to believe that I loved you in my past life, (love you in my current), and i'd love you in my next."

Damn— He really love me like that. 😭

Thankful that my mom is healthy and able to work again. Glad that she is able to handle the work ("it's so easy," she said) and I pray that it continues to be good to/for her.

I want to believe that our arguments/disagreements are

helping us learn to love each other better.

strawberries-n-milk

Ahh, i'm so stressed at this new job. Makes me hate it...or myself, I can't decide. It sucks starting over. Also considering I didn't have the full logistics educational background, I really don't comprehend what's going on 99% of the time. It's only been three weeks and I know I have time to grow, but I just hate the feeling of being lost. I want to be able to be confident in the work I do. It's a small company and everyone seems to be well vast in their position. I shouldn't compare myself but fuck, i'm the only new person right now so I feel very alone.

Missing my old position because I was so familiar in the work I was doing and I could chill, but I guess I also started there in the trenches too. I'll eventually get better...right? 😣

strawberries-n-milk

5 months later...

I'm still confused as fuck! Is it my own fault that I am not comprehending what's going on? Perhaps it's partially my fault because I don't want to go out of my way to ask (but I don't even know what to ask), however, I think it's more that I have not been properly trained from the beginning. This might just be the con of working for a "small" company - they don't have set tasks and everyone is just scrambling to figure out their issues day by day. I mean even my old job was kind of similar, but I was still able to learn in the end...? I'm just not confident that I will grow the way I want to here.

Ahh, i'm so stressed at this new job. Makes me hate it...or myself, I can't decide. It sucks starting over. Also considering I didn't have the full logistics educational background, I really don't comprehend what's going on 99% of the time. It's only been three weeks and I know I have time to grow, but I just hate the feeling of being lost. I want to be able to be confident in the work I do. It's a small company and everyone seems to be well vast in their position. I shouldn't compare myself but fuck, i'm the only new person right now so I feel very alone.

Missing my old position because I was so familiar in the work I was doing and I could chill, but I guess I also started there in the trenches too. I'll eventually get better...right? 😣

Two years ago (June 2021), I called my boss to quit my retail job to start my first corporate job. I actually almost cried talking to her cause she was one of the best bosses I've had so far. I thought I was quitting, but ended up working both.

One year later (June 2022), I got a promotion at said corporate job that nearly doubled my hourly rate.

In January 2023, I found out that my retail job was shutting down AND that my whole department at my corporate job was planning to move states by end of June (so I was getting laid off, since I didn't wanna move).

They ended up offering us the option to extend our contract through September...But it's officially June 2023 now, and I start a new job in a little over a week.

Weird how life works, but I guess June seems to be my month for life changes.

Hm, the anxious feeling won't go away.

It's tough to go through this constant state of anxiety each time I have to do an interview. You would think i'd get better/improve each time, but I feel like I get worse...because I lose confidence when I don't hear back from the interviewer. I wish they would just give me feedback, lmao. I know people have gone through way more interviews than me, but i'm struggling with the few that I even get. 😔

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