straw

unable to stop rambling. anti contact, pro para, pro transid (not transnazi+ et al)

[strawberrybananasblog]

Maybe I'll make a new acc since I can't remember the pw to this one neither the email pw

[eliyahu613]

As a trans man, seeing the state of modern femininity always makes me feel like I, someone who has almost killed myself multiple times from my dysphoria, have less dysphoria than many cis women. Like, cis women will literally pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to have someone shave their own body hair for them. Plenty of cis women out there spend near-infinite amounts of time, money, and energy trying to "fix" natural features about themselves. Some will even get expensive surgery. And if I wanted to have a surgery, that would take me years to get approved. And would require me to lie about my sexuality to even be considered.

I'm someone who famously thinks gender is a stupid performance, and it's one that I do spend quite a lot of effort on—just ask my bank account, or the ribs that I've damaged from wearing my binder for too long. But many of the cis women who do this do not do it as a fun performance, they do it because it has been drilled into their heads from the day they were born that their value is based on appealing to standards of heterosexuality, which are dominated by straight cis men. Yet even I do not spend hundreds of dollars a month on masculinizing procedures, even though whatever procedure I would do would probably make dysphoria better.

So why do some cis women go lengths to meet gendered standards that even many severely dysphoric trans people do not?

Just some food for thought.

(This post is not about trans women, though they can be subjected to patriarchal, heterosexual female beauty standards. The point of this post is to make people think about how cis women, generally without gender dysphoria, hold themselves to beauty standards as if they do have it.)

(On a similar note, TERFs and their ilk, this is not a post for you. If you interact with this post and I see that you hold radical feminist beliefs or exclude trans women from your feminism, you are being blocked and reported.)

[pineapplerightsideupcake]

It’s almost like you’ve discovered that NO women enjoy the gender roles forced on them and the fact that you chafe under them is not evidence of you being male.

Femininity and the painful, expensive, and degrading way it is upheld and inflicted are designed to subjugate women.

And please stop self harming by binding your chest. You’re potentially causing more long term damage than cutting does but society has decided your form of self harm is okay.

[eliyahu613]

hey asshole,

i'm a pretty feminine guy irl, i do like makeup and dresses, the reason i dress masc most of the time is because i am a man and i'm not at the point of transition where i can pass without that. i'm not a man because i dress masc, i dress masc because i'm a man.

i would be causing myself more mental long term damage by not binding than the current (small) risk of binding. what you're trying to do here is coercing me into letting other people see my boytits to force patriarchal womanhood onto me. i'm allowed to do whatever i want to my own body; patriarchy doesn't give me that autonomy. when you argue that i should not have autonomy, your argument is a patriarchal one.

[genderkoolaid]

"the fact that you chafe under them is not evidence of you being male" yeah the fact that he finds happiness in identifying as male is the evidence that he is male.

I love when non-transmascs truly think that transmascs, people with lifelong experiences with misogyny, who are often the first and foremost to analyze the relationship between systemic misogyny and their dysphoria, could not POSSIBLY have considered that cis women also dislike gender roles. because transmascs can never be experts on literally anything we experience.

[chaotic-queer-disaster]

people are absolutely EVIL about the boundaries of “picky eaters”. no, they do not have to try it. yes, they can know they don’t like it without having eaten it before. no, they probably have not suddenly grown a taste for the food they’ve said they hate. no, they probably are not going to like it in the Special Way This One Place Cooks It. yes, you are being a bad friend if you try to “trick” them into eating it anyway

[sepulchritude]

Things that actually help picky eaters try new things:

“Do you want to try this off of my plate?”

“It’s made of [ingredients], I think you’d like [x part]”

“If you want to see if you like [x food], this is pretty good representation of it”

“You won’t like this, it tastes like [description]. Do you want to try it for fun?”

“Do you remember trying/have you ever tried [x food]? This is like that, but [differences]”

“I think you’d like the taste of this, but the texture is iffy. It’s [description]”

Make sure there’s other food they can eat if they don’t like the new one

And most importantly, build trust with that person by listening to them, showing that you take their concerns into account, and being cool if the answer is no. No is always an option. This isn’t something you do once, it’s a pattern you have to stick to if you want to establish that you are a safe person when it comes to food stuff

Basically: offer the food, explain what’s in it and why you think it’s worth trying, and then be cool with the answer you get. No pressure, no trickery, just be straight up with people

[barkhoffman]

who would win?

FIGHT

the entire metropolitan police department

one (1) pissed off faggot

Voting ended onDec 17, 2023

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

People are really out here saying that transandrophobia isn't real and then say shit like "i can't take lesbian trans men seriously" which is it?You can't take lesbians seriously? or you can't take trans men who don't fit into your idea of men seriously. Both of which are misogynistic

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

Tbh people can't seem to take any trans man seriously of any sexuality. Trans men can't be gay or straight or a lesbian or a bisexual, we have to choose to be trans OR. like somehow cis people have the full rights to sexuality or something. As if our genders and sexualities have to be comparable to theirs or it's not 'real" fuck the fuck off

[shofarsogood]

Since people are confused, here's a story about a lesbian trans man I'm acquainted with.

A and B are high school sweethearts. They got married and had kids. (I think they have three, but I might be wrong.) These kids are all adopted.

When A was 35 or so, A realized that he was a man and came out. He had identified as a lesbian since high school and so had B. B is not at all attracted to men. But B loves A and calls him her soulmate. So they started together.

Now B is a lesbian dating a man, and A still considers himself lesbian. Most of their friends were lesbians, so he wanted to stay in the group. (To the best of my knowledge, no one IRL has a problem with him calling himself a lesbian while also rocking a beard.)

They look like a heterosexual couple, but they aren't. They didn't start out that way and don't call themselves that now. It's fine. He's married. He's not hitting on or poaching other lesbians.

You can be trans and a man and a lesbian. It's fine. Pick whatever labels you want. Gatekeeping is dead.

[komawo]

original print from depop

[leejihye-deactivated20241210]

[image id: a white tanktop with a print of figs and the sentence "i fear i will be ripped open and found unsightly"]

[chroniccoolness]

genuinely a lot of you need to sit the fuck down and think about whether you actually support transfeminine people or you're just chasers. cause a lot of this site's support seems to be "uwu fuck me big strong dommy mommy" "I want a sexy trans goth gf so bad" etc etc and it's so gross. like i dont think attraction the inherent problem here or anything but when every single post asking "do you actually support trans women/transfeminine ppl?" has some chucklefuck in the notes going "haha yeah, I support her ON TOP OF ME!" it gets really obvious that you do not actually know how to support them without sexualizing them. and that's. really incredibly not okay.

[quark-nova-deactivated20260116]

how does this not have more thousands of notes

[aroplatonic]

feel like y'all would like this article about how the devaluing of platonic relationships has a lot to do with Western culture:

I grew up in a culture that embraced physical touch. Then I came to America

In Ethiopia, physical closeness was a natural expression of friendship and love. When I came to California and put my arm around my sister i

[makingqueerhistory]

Queer history fact: Billy Lee Tipton(1914-1989), a jazz musician who managed to marry five times without anyone finding out that he did not have the genitals a cisgender man is expected to have, had a son who said of his father:

“I think he probably never told us because he was afraid we might have rejected him. I could have accepted it. He did a helluva good job with us. That’s what mattered. He was my dad.”

[mindflamer]

what i think many non-aspec queer people don’t understand is that your understanding of aromanticism/asexuality and aspec experiences is as lacking as a straight person’s understanding of gayness, or a cis person’s understanding of transness. we are actually not some exception where everyone else knows better than us, and it's so paternalistic to treat us that way. your opinions on things that affect us are not fully informed, especially if you’ve done very little to learn from us. just listen to us.

[genderkoolaid]

maybe this is pessimistic but it really is so frustrating feeling like cis women are never* actually invested in trans-inclusive reproductive activism. like even well meaning cis women will throw in a "people who menstruate" to their post or organization & then do literally nothing else related to trans people. when it comes to reproductive care, especially when it comes to vulnerable groups, they'll immediately default to female language & even more they never consider that trans people have unique struggles that need to be specifically addressed. & a lot of times they DO mean well and aren't trying to be exclusionary but it's still like. y'all keep showing you still aren't ready to put aside your cis-ego and make trans people your full equals in reproductive activism. even if you SAY you are trans affirming, how should trans people really trust you if you are constantly forgetting us? how can we be sure we won't be misgendered or (esp if we are visibly trans/passing as cis men, esp if we are a person of color) seen as invasive and disruptive of "women's spaces"? how can we be sure we won't be turned away because you think we're transfems who don't need care or because you "just don't know how to treat trans people"?

*i am making a massive generalization here obv, this is more vent than Facts and Logic here

[genderkoolaid]

actually i think what it is is fair-weather activism. a lot of cis women are happy enough to throw in gender neutral language when everything is fine, but if their talking about menstruation while homeless or in a war zone or abortion rights being actively threatened, suddenly the situation is too serious to expect gender neutral language. they act like trans people are just. playing around with reproductive health? like we couldn't POSSIBLY understand how serious the situation is!! how can we ask for a silly thing like INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE at a time like this!!! as if trans people are not also affected. as if trans people don't have to deal with another layer of difficulty on top of everything.

[chisecco]

"we need weirder queers" you guys couldnt even handle asexual people in 2016 (and probably still cant handle them)

[hapalopus]

#some of y'all still can't handle mspec lesbians and gay#and pan ppl. and multigender ppl. and male lesbians. and it-pronoun users. and xenopronoun users.#and aromantic especially loveless ones. and aplatonics. and cis ppl over a certain threshold of gender non-conformity.#and so on. (tags by @pansexual-pied-piper)

[ballsalsda-deactivated20260516]

Love this but male lesbian????? Lesbian is specifically non men loving non men

[hapalopus]

Are you sure you want to define all lesbians by their relationship with men?

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

People are really out here saying that transandrophobia isn't real and then say shit like "i can't take lesbian trans men seriously" which is it?You can't take lesbians seriously? or you can't take trans men who don't fit into your idea of men seriously. Both of which are misogynistic

[b0tster]

me when i open tumblr and see pictures of cute t girls

[b0tster]

me when i pass the phone around to the polycule and they also see the pictures of cute t girls

[mclennonyaoi]

we’ve circled back around to men cannot experience love pack it up folks it’s over

[mclennonyaoi]

men famously have never written any songs or poetry or anything about love . it’s a mystery really! crazy. all they want is sex

[mclennonyaoi]

“a man wrote a love song for a woman” is something that has never happened ever until hozier came along

[mclennonyaoi]

women are the only ones who can actually experience pure true love all that those horrible men think about is dirty bad sex. all the time. it taints their ability to love. they don’t even know what love is…. tragic.

[trans-androgyne]

They always say “read Whipping Girl” but never warn you how often the book is hostile towards or just straight up wrong about transmasculine & non-binary people whenever they’re brought up. Like I’m starting to see why so many people who say that are transandrophobic tbh

[eraserheadadult]

its so weird to me when people talk as if butch lesbians "benefit" from masculinity in some way. i kinda feel like nothing in real life indicates this ever but ok .

[eraserheadadult]

theyre like masculine = privileged and feminine = oppressed and i just want to remind everbody theres more than one type of person and situation on earth