Something that particularly bothered me about The Boys S5 and it's not talked much about is the scene where Hughie is ranting on having been S/A'd (twice may I remind, once by Tek Knight and the second time by the shapeshifter) in S4 and Annie blaming him, and the other characters side eyeing him as if HE is the one in the wrong? Kripke already said he thought the Tek Knight scene was funny and received a lot of criticism online for that, but if this scene in S5 was basically his response to the backlash as if to say "suck it" then that's even worse ffs
WARNING: This fic contains major spoilers for The Boys S5 E8, DO NOT read if you haven't seen the episode and don't want to be spoiled
An alternate ending where you save depowered Homelander and go live together in hiding because I need some comfort after the last episode (fluff, angst, not proof read)
You don't remember what happened. The only things you remember was being alerted that some intruders have bypassed the security system, and one thing you will never forget: Homelander beaten up on the floor, and William Butcher with a crowbar in his hand. As fast as you could, you ran up behind Butcher and snatched the weapon from him, swinging it back and forth and yelling at him and everyone in the room to go away. The rest is a blur.
You quickly drove away to your cabin in the hills, Homelander still wailing in the seat next to you. Maybe it wasn't the best stay but as long as you were both laying low it was good enough. You picked up a first aid kit and medicated him. He was hissing at each one of your touches. He really lost his powers.
----
The last few days have been... difficult, to say the least.
He spent most of his time in complete silence sitting on the couch in a hunched position, his blue eyes absently gazing at the horizon and his always neatly styled coiffed hair now an uncombed and matted blonde mess he didn't bother to brush. Instead of his iconic signature blue suit and striped cape, you made him wear one of your old t-shirts and pants. After all that fiasco on live TV you didn't want to gather attention, after all.
You entered the room with the plate in your hands, signaling your presence with a fake cough "Surpriiise! Eggs and bacon!" you chirped as you put the plate on his lap. You organized the food so that the yolks looked like two eyes and the bacon stripes a smiling mouth. It looked silly and cheesy, but you really wanted to cheer him up somehow. "Oh! And I didn't forget..." you sprinted to the kitchen and came back with a glass of milk "Ta-daa!". Surprisingly, only then his orbs glided your way and he slowly raised his arm to pick it up, gulping it all and giving it back.
As usual, he didn't bother to say 'thank you' but heh why do I care, manners have never been his forte.
You inhaled and bit your lower lip before speaking again "I know things have been rough, Joh-"
"DON'T..." he finally spoke, pointing a finger at you and making you flinch "...call me that"
But before you could speak again, he sharply got up, uncaring of the food spilling on the ground "Oh but you're right. That's the only name you could call me now, huh? Not 'fucking Homelander', just... JUST. THAT FUCKING NAME. You know what? You should have let William fucking lobotomize me with that crowbar, but nooo! You had to get in the way, make me live like a mud person like you-"
"ENOUGH!" you snapped, feeling some satisfaction in seeing him flinch this time "I saved you because I love you, I always did" you briefly saw his brows knitting and his lips opening slightly at that "'Oh but you are a lousy dirty human and I'm the Homelander I can do whatever the fuck I want buh buh buh', I DON'T CARE, and saving your blonde high ass is what any person would have done in such situation! I saved you from getting murdered and put both of us in hiding since your superiority complex managed to piss off an entire nation that now wants both of us dead, and everything you can do is complaining about how much I'm a terrible person for it!"
There was some silence between the both of you, but you could see that his facial expressions have softened significantly. He didn't seem angry, he seemed... sad? Guilty? Like a young boy that just got scolded by his parents. You looked down at the crumpled nasty mix of porcelain and food on the ground, no longer looking like a smiling face.
You sighed "Stay here. I'll clean up"
"Did you really mean it?"
"Mhm?"
"The 'I love you' thing. Did you really mean it?"
"Why should I have lied about it?"
You saw a tear roll down his cheek and rushed to hug him "Hey hey, shhh, it's ok"
You've seen him crying multiple times these days, and everytime it happened you hugged him. No matter how many time it happened, it never annoyed or bothered you. You knew he hated it, crying in front of you, of anyone, and being seen as weak, and each time you tell him that it's not true.
"You won't love me anymore now" he sobs.
"What?"
"My powers. I was who I was because of my powers. Now I lost them. I lost everything. I WAS THE HOMELANDER, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! I WAS A GOD ON EARTH!" you softly squeezed his hand "Now... now... now I can't even fly. Now I'm... John..." he pronounced that name like it was poison "A nobody. You are playing the good samarithan to a fucking mister nobody"
"Stop" you shushed him, rubbing soothing circles on his back "Cape or not, you will always be the same to me" he kept crying, but your presence and your hugs did their tricks.
-----
The next week went by a little better. Even though John still acted like a stray cat getting accustomed to its new surroundings, in regards to his new powerless normal human body.
"Why? Why should I do this?"
"It's called 'cooking', John. You just turn on the stove like this!"
Of course after that you had to hear him complaining about how it would be much easier to cook spaghetti if he still had his laser vision.
So you can avoid them stealing things from you, the artist/writer, etc.
Pro GenAI websites/Programs:
Facebook
Instagram
X/Twitter (Remember, Grok gives people cancer)
Threads
Pro Writing Aid
Grammarly
Duolingo
Google Docs
Microsoft Word/all Microsoft products Takes from and will feed their machine.
Youtube (taking advantage of people who are hearing impaired. ==;;)
Adobe Products. All of them. If you HAVE to use them (Some businesses require it), save offline because there is a film of at least some privacy protections there, so if you have to sue, you can say it violates US privacy law. Remember, contracts do not circumvent US law. Adobe wants to claim they don't feed their machine with your art, but that's not in the legal agreements and famously the legal agreements changed. Legal agreements can supersede other claims on the website, though one could theoretically sue for predatory practices, it's a harder case.
Corel won't feed the machines, but still uses AI stolen from other artists. Which sucks since Corel Draw is the second best overall for vector programs. (Plus I love Painter, but I bought the offline version to avoid AI). (Canadian company)
QuarkXPress added GenAI in 2025 [Link].
Canva Takes and feeds their machine. Alternatives are Presentation software. (See LibreOffice) and Moodboard software. Not sure? Milanote doesn't have GenAI (or the search engines are suppressing the results, which I found recently is a thing), but also no anti-AI stance. Creativit on Mac has a Moodboard function without AI (for now) No anti-AI stance, but snap.
Figma has GenAI
Snappa has GenAI
Deviant Art Not only supports AI, but put a tool in and said they are going to steal your work if you like it or not for their machine.
Sketchup went Pro-GenAI. The thing is that you can do the same thing in Blender these days with precise measurements.
Autodesk has stated they are Pro-Gen AI here. It is not clear if they will use your models to feed their machine. But be on guard. They make Maya and 3Dmax. You can replace it with Blender.
Proton as suggested by SF Stories (see reblog) is pro AI (as the reblog from McBitchTits pointed out) They are missing a spreadsheet, but have online and offline capabilities, plus a built-in VPN. They came out with their own AI tool: https://proton.me/blog/lumo-ai But also swears never to use their user's data: "Acknowledging these concerns and recognising that three in five (60%) workers would like to use AI despite four in five (79%) being concerned about the use of their private data for training purposes, Proton Scribe promises never to use data from users’ inboxes. The company backed up its claim by asserting that the standard end-to-end encryption makes this impossible." (https://www.techradar.com/pro/proton-is-launching-an-ai-tool-to-help-you-write-better-emails) I'd feel wary about that, especially if they get close to GenAI collapse. (Also that stat is crazy, either you're for it, or you're against it, if you're for it, you need to be on board with it using your data to feed the machine.).
DropBox went Pro-AI causing massive backlash against the company.
Neutral ground:
Tumblr (there is a way to opt out [Link] and they don't have an active AI machine.) https://www.tumblr.com/dookins/743519550598987776/heres-how-to-disable-third-parties-like-ai
Etsy allows GenAI, but still has some (minor) restrictions. I'd still be cautious. (Also be cautious of drop shippers). Complaints about too much AI and AI images+patterns made by Ai still exist on the website. They lean slightly more pro-AI, but still won't let it run completely amok, say like Facebook. They won't feed your work into a machine, but also don't ban it through robots.txt.
Bluesky They don't use an AI algorithm except for in the "Discover" section of their website, but while they are anti-GenAI strongly, they don't seem to block the Gen AI bots from entry, so you'd still have to use Nightshade or Glaze (links below). They also still allow people to post AI images/text on the website. There is no opt-out because they don't need an opt out. (Leaning towards strong position on AI, but I wish they would block GenAI bots).
Searxng- If you super want to screw over Google, in general, and have some tech savvy, you can set up your own search engine through searxng. It's easier on Windows and Linux than it is on a Mac. (Mac you need Docker), but if you're determined on privacy, Searxng adds a layer of privacy. Some of it sometimes uses bits of AI, but most of it doesn't and you can fuss with the settings so it doesn't spit out AI results. At sheer minimum Google will stop spitting out weird videos on Youtube at you because in your private browsing, you searched for the origin of ball bearings while not logged in for a book and Google likes to break privacy laws.
Milanote?- Moodboard software. To get full features you have to pay per month (which isn't ideal since the free version is very, very limited) There is no pro or anti-genAI statement I can find. But so far there is no GenAI on the platform. This is a *not sure* category.
Creativit- is offline, free and on Mac only Moodboard software. It's a pretty straight forward program, so no AI. Has snapping features and no frills. Since they are small, it doesn't have AI, but there is no anti-AI statement either.
WeTransfer has a murky TOS statement. https://www.tumblr.com/kimyoonmiauthor/789157028107010048/we-transfer-went-to-the-genai-dark-side?source=share which I covered here. They swear they won't, but then they didn't specify they wouldn't in the TOS. As I said, you can sue for deceptive practices, but doesn't mean you will win.
Newgrounds: Stronger on the no AI art side, but still allow pieces in specific cases, it's not a total ban. Allowed AI is highlighted in bold to make it easier to skim.:
AI-generated art is not allowed in the Art Portal. This includes using tools such as Midjourney, Dall-E, and CrAIyon, in addition fractal generators and websites like ArtBreeder, where the user selects two images and they are combined into a new image via machine learning.
There are cases where some use of AI is ok, for example if you are primarily showcasing your character art but use an AI-generated background. In these cases, please note any elements where AI was used so that it is clear to users and moderators.
Tracing and coloring over AI-generated art is something best shared on your blog, as it is much like tracing over someone else's art.
Making art from scratch that is inspired by an AI piece is ok. Here are two good examples: Maiden of Flames and Hermin. Both pieces reference the AI art they are based on while being original pieces in their own right.
Bottom line: We want to keep the focus on art made by people and not have the Art Portal flooded with computer-generated art. https://www.newgrounds.com/wiki/help-information/terms-of-use/art-guidelines
Cara is totally anti-AI in contrast. You would be too if someone profited from your artwork by simply reversing it and changing the color scheme a little.
Strong positions against AI:
Scrivener (Creator vowed against adding GenAI during Nanowrimo scandal #2) Writing program. There is an active forum, and versions for Mac, Linux and PC. It is paid, but at ~60 USD, it's cheaper than most programs. There is usually a holiday sale around Christmas. It has a learning curve, but with an active forum with the programmer of it there to ask obscure questions it's not a dead zone. They often take suggestions and implement them over time. (Especially if you rank the importance, applications, etc) US company.
Scrivener works with Mac, Windows and Linux (with some fussing): https://forum.literatureandlatte.com/t/tutorial-running-scrivener-3-1-5-1-under-linux-w-wine-64bit-with-activation/136046
LibreOffice Open source and free Spreadsheet and Word processor program that can replace Microsoft Office (Word processor, spreadsheet, presentations, drawing, formula, database creator). Some people might have seen older versions where it was called Neo Office (now extinct) and Open Office. LibreOffice is still populated, plus the forums are super helpful if you get stuck. The UX is pretty intuitive if you've used Microsoft Word. Scrivener, BTW, supports exporting to odt (the native file) as well as .doc, and this can open both. The slight thing is that sometimes it doesn't export to .doc smoothly. And I DO wish more magazines, and agent (big clue here) supported .odt files since it is free. Part of the reason .odt isn't as supported is because Microsoft and Adobe have a deal with the devil with each other, so Adobe's Book formatting program InDesign doesn't support ODT. (BTW, if you have a good open source replacement for InDesign that supports ODT, let me know.)
Dabble (as suggested by SF stories, see reblog) is a writing program. Similar to Scrivener. Has vowed against AI and to resist it. 108 dollars a year for Basic. It is almost twice the price of Scrivener who lets you update for fairly cheap. 29 dollars a month, v. 59 dollars for the whole program (Scrivener) for the same features of Premium. You choose.
yWriter is a free Writing program and like Scrivener, and has vowed against AI Last I looked it had some UX issues, but some people swear by it. The learning curve is higher than Scrivener which is saying something.
Ellipsus is an online writing program and vowed against AI [Link]. The main feature I like (which Scrivener doesn't have) is the ability to change spellcheck based on region/language. It is a requested feature of Scrivener, but lower priority. So if you have a Brit, you can get the spelling for the character. They are a British-based company.
Cara.app (The creator of the website sued GenAI there is no chance they'll convert) is an artist website. Cara is trying to institute an auto Glaze/Nightshade into the website if given enough funds. People see it as a soft replacement for deviant art. (which went fully AI) If you believe in human art, please donate if you can. Zhang Jingna, the creator, is Chinese-Singporean. She lives in Singapore.
Artgram is an art posting website with a super strong Anti-AI statement It will delete all Ai art and has detection measures in place. And signatures added to the art so they can form you legal protection and make takedown requests. It is free to use.
Fur Affinity Hard ban on All AI use, not even backgrounds. Furry Art posting website. BTW, found this and Artgram on this website: https://brushwarriors.com/art-websites-that-ban-ai/ which does not show as any kind of result on Google, because Google is trying to block anti-AI content as of last week from the search results. (About the day after I posted the Grok gives poor people cancer). You can only find it using a searxng search.
Clip Studio Paint added AI, but saw the light and decided to protect artists instead because of protest and removed it. It can do 2D animation, and generally is a replacement for Corel Painter and can do manga/comics, etc. I'd still recommend paying for the offline version rather than monthly subscription just in case they change their minds back, at least you'll still have the program AI free without worry about them stealing directly as you're drawing. There are tutorials and a good forum if you get super stuck. Based in Japan, so the UI and UX is really clean.
Davinci Resolve Pro is a film editing software that's super good. There is a free version and a paid version. The forums are responsive. The programmers aren't always present. There is a healthy group of tutorials. US company. Clean UX. It does take a little bit of time to remember the shortcuts.
Tahoma2D is anti-AI and open source animation program. Takes a little getting used to, but is good for animations and doesn't crash as often as Animate. Programmers are in the forums and some bugs are fixed within hours. The forums are super responsive and helpful.
Krita open source and free, no AI. I'd rank it secondary to Clip Studio Paint (which is paid) I haven't tried the forums, but it's pretty intuitive and can stand for a lower level replacement for Painter, and do a lot of the basics of Photoshop. It's usually ranked higher than the equally open source Gimp.
Writer P AKA Writer+ (app for when you're on the go) is a simple word processor app for your phone that doesn't use AI. (Find on the Android app store) The original programmer stopped updating, so Writer+ programmer took over and isn't out to make a profit since it's free in the spirit of the original app. It has subfolders you can use. Since it was programmed before GenAI it doesn't have AI. Intuitive, easy to use. Fairly easy to upload the files through three dots->share. The files can save to your card or phone with some settings fussing. Simple word processor.
StudioBinder- is a script to video production software. Made an Anti-GenAI statement on their Youtube channel:
This is not an official Anti-AI stance and might be tongue-in-cheek. But does look serious as something they are NOT interested in.
It can ALSO do Moodboards, etc which may replace parts of Canva.
Inkscape is a free vector program and no AI. It is harder to use than illustrator and has less features. But if you're doing smaller vectors for one-offs with less complexity, it'll do you after some learning curve. Best of the lot. I hate Affinity Designer which is the same thing, only paid. (Neither Affinity program was worth the money paid)
Scribus doesn't use GenAI, BUT be careful since there is a AI gen named after the program. (Because of course they would.) The learning curve is hard and it's not as advanced as Adobe for things, but it can layout magazines decently. So click the link instead.
ProCreate: Anti AI Stance as noted by mortavaine (in comments). It's an art Studio and can be used on an iPhone. 12.99 (currently) for the Art Studio one, time dealie, not reoccurring. 19.99 (currently) for the animation software. Based in Australia.
Affinity (Designer, etc) swore to be AI-free and does Vector and Photos (I haven't checked out their InDesign equivalent). The UX is messy, I dislike the program and regret paying for it. Inkscape and Krita (both free) are better UX and do the same thing. The forums aren't as friendly since there has been an onslaught of people seeing it's supposed to be a replacement for Photoshop and Illustrator (Marketing by the creators of the program that the users disagree with), and the people of the forums don't like this advertisement and are sometimes really mean and snippy about it. The programmers aren't present. The capabilities of the program don't outshine basically Krita or Inkscape capabilities (both free). What is usually intuitive is not. UK company. If you're going to pay for a program, go for Clip Studio Paint which rivals Corel Painter. My review for Affinity Designer is here: https://www.tumblr.com/kimyoonmiauthor/776698728716337152/affinity-designer-2weaknesses-and-strengths Conclusion, can't outdo the free Inkscape. It has serious workflow issues. AND if the FREE Inkscape can import layers better than Affinity designer from an eps file, it's not worth it to switch. Just use Inkscape. Note that Vector programs are the most difficult to program compared to everything else. https://www.tumblr.com/kimyoonmiauthor/776572269385433088/tip-for-switching-from-adobe-illustrator-to AND I did all of the adjusting in order to do the importation correctly and still hated it. It's the UX. (Brits, dudes, sometimes you guys have the weirdest UX logic and I say this as a US person.). If I'm going to pay for a vector program it has to do better than the free one in UX and features. Not before then. Same with all of their others. For the Affinity programmers, BTW, hire someone Japanese to fix your UX, it's that bad. It's like crawling through a historically accurate Victorian house and trying to find the house keys. Learn thoughtful intuitive minimalism and prioritization of features. You're off doing zed that makes programmers happy, when you should be working on the core first that makes you money.
Blender is a 3D art program and does not use GenAI. It can do 2D animation, but Tahoma is easier to use in this regard. It's open source and free. Plus there are plenty of tutorials. The forums can be touch and go sometimes, but there are plenty of sub Blender communities that might be responsive. It can also do animation.
Handmade vowed against AI (Selling any artwork with AI, and also drop shipping, etc) and promised to never sell itself for stock prices to prevent AI (as a replacement for Etsy.)
Discover a world of creativity and craftsmanship through Handmade, an innovative platform connecting passionate artisans with discerning buy
Swiss Transfer: The Swiss government is going to put strict restrictions on AI and have pretty strict privacy laws. So they can't steal your content.
It has a better deal than WeTransfer did after the buyout.
In the fallout from WeTransfer there is also this list (but I haven't vetted it).
We compared 8 WeTransfer competitors based on functionality, use cases, user reviews, and of course, price. Which one is best for your needs
Because you need to send files to clients without breaking NDAs.
But you need a pro website...
Look up robots.txt and AI bots: https://www.cyberciti.biz/web-developer/block-openai-bard-bing-ai-crawler-bots-using-robots-txt-file/
Use cloudflare:
Use Nightshade:
https://nightshade.cs.uchicago.edu/whatis.html
which will poison the algorithm and collapse the algorithm faster. I've seen Youtubers who are popular use it on their images they post to videos, and it made the AI bros irate. Some tried SOOO hard to argue how hopeless it was and how programmers would break the consent of artists. (Yeah, and they might wonder why they are single).
Use Glaze:
If you can't use Nightshade, use Glaze. You can't use Nightshade and Glaze at the same time, but some OS's and machines can't use Nightshade, so the secondary option is to use Glaze. This will blur your image enough in a particular way to make AI unable to read it.
Take Away:
The thing is you think you doing it alone will do nothing, but the more AI feeds on itself, AI images, the worse they become, and the less detailed so, denying it the images, adding poison or not being able to read the human text is eventually going to lead to an AI collapse.
Analysis shows that indiscriminately training generative artificial intelligence on real and generated content, usually done by scrapi
And why not help that along?
I don't want to give cancer to poor people [Link] or make the planet burn faster [Link]. So GenAI collapse is everything I dream of. GenAI apocalypse is not.
Vought has collabed with Tamagotchi to create a brand new set of digital pets, featuring the members of The Seven!
Keep your own miniature Homelander in your pocket and take him with you wherever you go, but be sure to pay attention to him every 30 minutes! If you neglect your mini Homie, the real Homelander will be alerted to his counterpart's suffering and bulldoze his way through your door! 😂
This is some crappy The Boys fanfic (with some Homelander x reader if you squint, and GenV reference) based on a dream I had tonight. Sorry if it's a little crappy and kinda lore inaccurate but I had to write it before I forgot it.
"Go on" Homelander prompted.
"The modus operandi seems to be the same everytime they attack" you continue, your eyes fixed on the tablet playing the recording of the last attack "It's the third time this week. Each time this unknown supe cuts their wrist and use their... blood related powers, to attack their victim. Interesting to see how they can use their blood as a weapon".
Third time this week. Each time this supe targets another supe, always one working for Vought. The first two times they killed in dark alleyways and streets, but this time they grew more confident: this time, the victim of this blood powered supe was none other than Firecracker; she was there on stage, in front of a large crowd, spewing her usual bullshit like always, when she suddendly got hit to her neck by an almost imperceptible blade-like string of blood. She instantly dropped dead, the crowd screaming horrified.
Homelander couldn't care less about Firecracker's demise. His blue eyes squinted to the screen, in particular the blood pooling behind her head, forming the letters 'BUTCHER', and his jaw twitched.
"The killer always leaves behind this message right after they killed a supe" you explained, pausing the video and pointing to the letters.
"...everytime..." his jaw twitched even more. You blinked and yelped as you suddendly felt your tablet getting obliterated by his lasers, you luckily letting it go just in time. He needed some time to recompose himself and walked out.
You heard a little cough behind you. It was The Deep.
"Yes?"
The Deep gulped "I mean... does this mean vampires are real?"
-
Homelander is still in his room thinking about the whole situation.
"How is The Deep?" he asks you when he hears you walk in.
You sigh "He says he is going around with a cross now whenever he is out"
"That worked with Ezekiel"
"No it's because..." you stop yourself "forget it"
He stopped staring absent mindedly at the windows glass to turn to you "Y/N... what do you think of me?"
You blink a couple times, taken aback by the question "What do you mean?"
His smile turned upside down "Just answer me" he said in a dangerous low growl.
You blurted out "You're... very powerful" his eyebrow raised "I meant, the most powerful man... I mean, supe, that ever existed"
He smiled, satisfied by your answer "Ding ding ding, that's correeeect!" he said in a sing a song voice, that however quickly morphed in annoyance "And you tell me, that some... D tier supe with blood powers, is now allied with Butcher and challenging ME?! Oooohh nononono, they have no idea who they are fucking with. No fucking idea at all" he cupped your cheeks with his gloved hand, with surprising gentleness, but the intensity of the moment was enough to make you gasp.
His face got close to you, whispering "You've done good Sherlock, you've done good" he whispers in your ear "Keep doing a good job and I might reward you"
"Hey" you two both heard a voice. It was Black Noir II, with a bag of fries in his hand "I gathered some for my Deep bro, you want some? We need food for the incoming vampires invasion"
You do your best to ignore Homelander lashing out at Black Noir II and The Deep, your brain instead repeating the video on loop in your mind, mostly the blood forming the words 'BUTCHER', and to that same word uttered by Homelander a few minutes ago. It wasn't just a bloody text on the ground, it was an enemy. A threat to Homelander's empire. Ironically built on blood, and seemingly about to be destroyed on blood.
Currently having massive The Boys hyperfixation so I had to write something for this awful guy
WARNINGS: Some angst, minor violence, Homelander being an asshole and yandereish (not to the point of making this post NSFW tho), and Homelander himself is a warning.
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Pampering and spoiling you anyway he can, with anything you want, and possibly in expensive ways too. If you tell him that it's too much, too expensive or that he shouldn't do so much for you, he will chuckle at how cute you are: him, a God, has chose YOU specifically among so many lowly mortals, so it's only fair you get to be treaten so good.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Another boring Meet & Greet. Smile, sign up whatever official Vought branded crap the wave of ecstatic fans throw at you, thumbs up, "you guys are the real heroes", rinse and repeat. What's that? A meek little thing walking around the comic convention, not joining his asskissers parade but just minding your own business in complete silence and looking at your favorite plushies and comics? That's a new one. He doesn't know whether to take that as disrespect or something else, but as soon as he finishes signing his autographs, he marches over you, his arms crossed over his chest and his signature grin still over his face, feigning interest over whatever piece of merch you put your eyes on. You two ended up conversating, until it was time for him to go. He isn't chatty but if he finds you interesting he could be.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Yes. He may cuddle with you in bed by spooning, but he would mostly lay his head onto your lap and let you brush his hair.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Of course he would love to settle down! You, him, and Ryan together? Perfect! As for cooking and cleaning, he never did any of that. Why would he? Vought chefs and janitors take care of that. Unless you do it. If you offer to cook something, he would find it endearing and delicious, whatever it is.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
He has too many abandonment issues for that. Unless, you do something utterly unforgivable (ex: you betray him and get allied with Butcher). Oh boy. He will hiss at you to get out, his eyes glowing red. And you do. You get out and run away as fast as you can, afraid he could kill you at any moment, but he couldn't, ever. His leather gloves creak in his fists, his eyes still red, even when you are far away out of his sight. He spends the next hours, days, weeks and months even, sobbing miserably.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Saying that Homelander would be very giddy about the idea of commitment and marriage is an understatement. He would marry you as soon as he feels like you are the right one, and his wedding, his dress, your dress, the cake, the pictures, the pictures for the official Vought social media pages Ashley is rambling about, EVERYTHING, has to be absolutely PERFECT, or he will get every single prick at Vought fired and ensure they go to hell after he lasered them.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
It's a well known fact that behind his charming charismatic pretty boy façade he always puts on for the public, he is anything but gentle. However, he would never harm you. He does his best to be a good boyfriend to you, and sometimes when he holds you he is almost afraid he might not be able to control his super strenght and accidentally hurt you.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
He is not used to hugs, and you will often be the one initiating them. They feel... odd, to him. But not in a negative way. You felt him stiffening the first time you hugged him, and after he took some minutes trying to process it, he asked you for more.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Not a lot honestly. Saying it once a while (especially when you do something cute for him) is great, but everyday? Too corny and cheesy for him, he prefers to show you love through gestures, like a bouquet of roses. He will REALLY love it anytime you tell him that though.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)
Do I even need to say something? Some maggot dares disrespect a God by trying to take away what's his, they get laser eyes execution before they can see the sunlight again, simple as that.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Everywhere, anywhere. On the forehead, lips, cheeks, neck, hands, anywhere he can reach, marking you as his, his beloved. His favorite place to be kissed is his neck.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Homelander at first will need some time to warm up if you two ever have a baby. One side of him is glad and proud, but the other side dislikes the sight of a newcomer in his life, uncannily resembling his looks and even sharing his same powers, giggling with genuine happiness he never experienced as a child, having the loving mom he wishes he had... and stealing all your attention. But similarly to how he acts around Ryan, he will eventually grow fond of them, making them live the perfect childhood of his dreams (spoiling them a lot).
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Unfortunately you don't get to spend a lot of time together in the mornings, since as soon as he's up he has a lot to do at work ranging from interviews, photoshoots, meetings with the Seven yadda yadda. As soon as he is finished though, he'll swiftly fly back to you.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Anything you want to do! You wanna chill and cuddle together in bed watching Vought+ movies? Say no more! You wanna go on a date (although there is no way he would take you to a greasy cheap fast food, he will always take you to fancy restaurants, and in his civilian clothes to avoid gathering attention)? Alrighty then!
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
NEVER. He would never tell you his secrets. He had a completely normal happy childhood playing baseball, lived in a warm cozy home with loving caring parents, and you, him and Ryan are going to be the perfect always smiling all American apple pie values family! This is, until the inevitable day he breaks down in front of you, uncontrollably and hysterically sobbing about everything that truly happened to him in that lab all at once in an overwhelming way. You gave him plenty of hugs after that.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
You already know the answer folks.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
He has an incredible memory you should never underestimate. Anything you say and anything you do, he will remember it. You may see that as a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your point of view.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
You were dating for a few months, and on July 4th, you baked him a cake and gave him a gift for his "birthday". He didn't know what to say. You didn't know he didn't actually have any birthday at all, but your genuinity was so heartwarming. The chocolate cake you baked was so much smaller than the grandiose big cake they make every year for his "birthday", but yours meaned so much more. And your gift? It's just a Smash Mouth biggest hits CD, but it's enough to bring him to shed a small tear. No one ever gifted him anything, at least not out of genuine kindness.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
He knows that as soon as he announces his relationship in front of the cameras, the paparazzi will be all over your ass. And that's exactly what happened. However, they didn't have time to take any more info out of you or follow you, because for some "unknown reason", they all went missing. He wants the world to know he is in a committed relationship and that you are his, but to have you harassed day and night? Nope. Also, if you express worry and concern that he might get hurt or die, he will blink a few times and laugh as if that's the most ridiculous thing he ever heard. But deep down he loves to see you caring so much.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Before you could think of anything for your anniversary together, he already planned a trip for you two to Venice. You won't even have to pay for a flight ticket, when he just picks you up and flies all the way there. He knows about your tastes and preferences and goes out of his way to gift you exactly what you want.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Well... to begin with, his "anger issues", if we can call them that...
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
VERY CONCERNED. His blonde hair must be always neatly coiffed, his iconic suit clean and spotless, no imperfections allowed on his skin... no matter how many times you tell him he looks gorgeous just the way he is. You better be prepared for when he enters his middle age crisis and you see a mysterious jar containing "cottonballs" that you better not touch.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
He is The Homelander. He doesn't need anyone to feel complete, he is complete the way he is (or at least that's what he would repeat to himself if he grew really fond of you and happened to lose you).
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
It's not unusual for him to get nightmares. Luckily, your presence, warmness and the sound of your heartbeat will always quickly calm him down whenever that happens, letting himself get snuggled.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)
This is a very tough one. In general, plenty of stuff, including getting ignored and/or not getting praised enough. A partner who questions him too much would annoy him (although not to the point of leaving, and he will always apologize afterwards).
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
No suit on. On his back. Few hours a night (he doesn't need a lot of sleep anyway). Feel free to lay your head on his chest.
Notes: helloo!! Sorry this part took a long time and I have also been inactive for a while, but it's been quite a stressful time lately. Thankfully I will go back to writing more soon!❤ ty for the support and love you all give to my work!
TWs: Language
November 2004
"...six... five... four... should I really count down to one with my eyes closed?"
Trevor chuckled "Kiddo, if you open your eyes before it wouldn't be a surprise now, wouldn't it?"
The girl pouted, her eyes still closed "Right! Three... two... one..." she opened her blue eyes and raised her eyebrow at the sight of a large stuffed unicorn in Trevor's hands.
"Happy birthday little Tracey" a little smile appeared under Trevor's bushy beard.
Tracey picked up the unicorn, she seemed touched by his gesture but also... confused "Uncle T... thank you, it's cute and I like it but... I'm thirteen..."
Trevor sighed "I know, I... just wanted to give ya something pretty, ya know? I mean, come on, you love unicorns! You had that one pink unicorn you called Princess Cottoncandy and we played with it together and..."
"Uncle T, that was SEVEN years ago" Tracey said almost embarrassed by the memory "Look, thank you and all really, just... I'm not a child anymore, ok? Just... things change, PEOPLE CHANGE" she walked off holding the unicorn by the tail to her room, leaving Trevor sitting there on the sofa, the sounds of Tracey's younger brother Jimmy's videogame being the only thing breaking the silence.
-
1993
Trevor was knocking on Michael's door, almost smashing it.
"GET THE FUCK OUT PORKCHOP WE HAD A FUCKING JOB TO DO-"
The sound of babies coming from the inside made him remember. Oh yeah right, Michael knocked up Amanda. Twice.
Michael opened the door, looking more disheveled than usual.
"What... do you want Trevor?" he snarled and rubbed his face, as a little girl was pulling his shirt hem. He picked her up with a "Not now, Tracey, dad is busy"
"What do I want?! I want YOU to answer the phone when I call! We are a team and me, you and, yeah, Brad as well, had a job to do, and you're here playing house"
Before Trevor could continue with his ranting, Amanda came in, holding a crying baby Jimmy in her arms, her nose scrunched "Michael please can you help me just a second?"
"Oh for fu- another diaper change?!" he turned to Trevor putting the crying Tracey in his arms "Be right back, hold Tracey a second for me ok?"
"What?! I'm not a fuckin' babysitter!" but Michael was already gone. Trevor sighed and sat down with a frown, putting the sniffling Tracey on his lap "Alright alright little gremlin don't cry I am Trevor Philips or uncle T the hell you prefer to call me and I'm here or whatever you tell children-"
Tracey interrupted him by putting her small hand on his nose and laughing at his "Hey!"
She babbled "Uuun-cllee...Teee"
Trevor stopped, his gaze softening at her coos "Yes kiddo, I'm Uncle T" and in his mind, he swore to God, if anyone harmed her or little Jimmy, that anyone was gonna get skinned alive.
-
He looked at Michael smoking outside, looking at the sky.
"People change. Right".
He got out and sat down on the snowy ground, next to the blue eyed man "Hey"
"Hey" Michael blew a grey cloud of smoke "Something on your mind?"
"I could tell the same thing about you man, it's your daughter's birthday and you've been awfully quiet the whole time" his eyes narrowed "Pretty too quiet, lately, if you ask me"
Michael scoffed "What am I supposed to say? She's getting old, into her moody teenager years. Gotta be prepared for that shit now"
"Yeah... I guess she is" Trevor sighed "Jesus, I already miss that little bundle of joy she was when she was a small kid. I guess people change, like she said..." he looked down at the snowy ground, both of them sat down. It reminded him of the first time they met under the bridge. The day their friendship was born. And now sometimes Michael was part of him, sometimes not... he wished he could go back to those idyllic times, just for one day...
"Mikey... that time me and Brad robbed that lady, you said something along the lines of 'it's time to step up our game'. But you never said what you meant by that. How about you spill the beans?"
Michael looked at Trevor with something resembling a mix of fear and respect at Trevor's incredible memory "I did say that, didn't I?" he threw away the cigarette "Well, ever since I started robbing around, I wanted to do something BIG. Something that would go down in history. Not just petty crimes and thefts, but something... that would have me remembered when I'm dead, and I would be remembered for the... the..."
"The big one?" Trevor suggested, and Michael nodded.
"Yeah, the Big One!" Trevor put his hand on Michael's shoulder, both of them reminiscing their camaraderie times, but Michael's smile vanished when he looked at Jimmy and Tracey playing videogames together, and Amanda coming in with two plates of cake in her hands much to the two kids' delight. Amanda picked up two more plates of cake and walked to Michael and Trevor.
"Come on you two, you really wanna eat cake while freezing outside?" she handed Michael's cake slice giving him a little kiss on the cheek, and handed Trevor's cake slice giving him a cold glare before walking back in.
Trevor has always been aware of Amanda's deep disliking of him but didn't even care or notice her glare as he quickly started devouring his slice like a feral animal, he almost didn't hear Michael saying after a long time "We're gonna do it"
"Really?"
"Yeah. Me, you and Brad" he chewed his cake bite a little, thinking for a while "Bobcat Security Depot, next month"
Trevor raised an eyebrow at the other man's suggestion, to which Michael promptly replied "Hey, haven't I always been the mastermind when planning our jobs? Just like the old times"
Trevor paused, then grinned "Welcome back man"
Trevor kept munching, while Michael absent mindedly twirled his plastic fork around his plate and after some minutes mumbled an almost inaudible "I'm sorry T..."
"For what?" Trevor licked clean his plate.
Michael inhaled "I'm sorry... for not being there all the times..." he suddendly pulled Trevor in a hug, almost knocking their plates over "You're my best friend T"
Trevor paused at Michael's unexpected display of affection, and after a bit he slowly leaned into the hug.
TWs: Language, alcohol, some kinky content, a little blood
The three men were in their hideout, cackling at their new successful crime. Trevor and Brad were ecstatically checking the inside of the freshly stolen Ponsonbys fuchsia purse, as Michael smiled and lit a cigarette behind them.
"Did you see that bitch's face?" Brad laughed and made a high pitched squeaky "EEEK!!".
Trevor kept grinning and laughing but ignored Brad's mockery of the robbed woman, and kept joining the blonde in their act of digging their hands inside the purse "Alright, let's see... perfume, lipstick, tissues... ah condoms, she was gonna get busy..."
"Here it is Trevor!!" Brad proudly took a snake skin wallet out of the purse, digging his fingers into it "Oooh damn, it feels so fat..."
Trevor rolled his eyes "Of course it is, if she can afford all this fancy schmancy shit"
They both turned to Michael, who had his back against the wall: he was smoking and looking at them both, and didn't seem as interested as them in the purse.
"Everything ok Mikey?" Trevor asked.
Michael put his cigarette between his fingers and cleared his throat "I just think it's time to step up our game" .
Months passed. Michael never explained what he meant by "stepping up their game". Although, it was clear that he was becoming increasingly tired of his life in North Yankton. Which had become even more evident once he met Crystal aka Amanda. Ever since he met her he started to spend less and less time with Trevor and Brad, and more and more time at the strip club instead. Brad seemed indifferent about the situation: he kept chugging beer in his slumped position on the couch and laughing at the idiotic show playing on TV. Trevor on the other hand looked at the spot on the couch near him, the spot Michael would usually sit on, now empty. It has been empty for so many days. He would only come back at night nowadays.
The spot where he promised Michael he would never leave him.
He started to wonder if that promise ever actually meant something to Michael.
He exhaled, stood up and walked towards the door.
"Hey Trevor where you goin'?" Brad half burped.
"To see if that asshole is still among the living" Trevor grunted.
"Ok" Brad simply said keeping his eyes on the TV.
He got to the car and carelessly drove to the strip club. He knew Michael was there. He simply knew. And this time he wasn't gonna leave him there.
To Trevor's surprise however, the strip club was closed. Or, HAS BEEN closed. Shut down. What once was a crowded fancy looking neon lit club, had been reduced to a dismantled building. And it seemed like it has been that way at least for a couple weeks by now.
But... if there was no strip club, then where was Michael?
"...M...?" he quietly said as fear took him over: he walked around the eerily quiet tiny snowy streets surrounding the defunct club, his right hand gripping the gun in his pocket, trying to find anything resembling human life.
At some point, he did find some sort of human life: he started to hear some muffled gasps and grunts.
He quickly ran towards the source of the noise, and saw... Michael... pinning Amanda against the wall, the two sharing a heated loving kiss, grinding his hips against hers, cupping his hands around her breasts (which looked strangely bigger and faker than when Trevor saw her the last time)...
It lasted only a fraction of a second because the two quickly noticed Trevor's presence and yelped, Amanda quickly covered her breasts in embarrassment and Michael recomposed himself with a "T!" while turning around with the sound of a zipper sliding up.
It stung. So much. He didn't even know why.
"T what are you doing here?" Michael awkwardly walked towards Trevor.
"I thought it was pretty obvious" Trevor swallowed, trying his best to ignore the feeling of his eyes burning and the pain in his chest "I thought we were a TEAM. I THOUGHT WE WERE TOGETHER IN THIS" his voice becoming increasingly louder and broken.
Michael looked confused "We are T, I just... need some time alone someti-"
"YOU ALREADY HAD A SHIT TON OF TIME ALONE!! YOU MEAN YOU WANNA SPEND EVERYDAY GETTING YOUR DICK SUCKED BY YOUR PERSONAL HALF STRIPPER HALF SLUT, IS THAT IT?!"
Michael's face darkened "Don't talk about her like that"
Amanda interrupted their bickering with a soft "Michael", putting her hand on Michael's shoulder. The blue eyed man angrily exhaled "I'll see you and Brad later", and with that they walked away.
Trevor let out an earpiercing scream and repeatedly slammed his head against the wall, over and over, until the wall had a splatter of blood, letting the tears now run free.
That night, Michael had finally came back home, finding Brad and Trevor on the couch: Brad was still watching TV and was half asleep, and Trevor was sitting like he was waiting for Michael's return. But most noticeably, he had a bloody wound on his forehead.
"What happened to your forehead Trevor?" Michael gasped.
Brad yawned "Oh you know, Trevor's always getting into bar fights, ain't that ri-"
"SHUT. THE FUCK UP, BRAD" Trevor hissed, causing the blonde man to flinch.
"I-I gotta go" Brad hurried to the bedroom and closed the door.
Trevor smirked and returned his attention to Michael "Anyway, I'm surprised you give a shit, MICHAEL".
"Oh for fuck's sake..." Michael scoffed.
"Yeah, for fuck's sake" Trevor roared "We promised each other to be a team, don't you fucking dare give me that 'time alone' bullshit again if you're gonna leave everyday and return at night just because you gotta prioritize your boners over your PARTNER!" he emphasized the word 'PARTNER'.
Michael sighed and took some minutes to answer "I had to make that fucking strip club shut down"
Trevor paused "What? So you were the one who caused the strip club to shut down? Why?"
"The owner was Amanda's mother. Fucking pimp. Amanda told me everything. So, called the police, got her investigated and arrested. Oh and of course, I wasn't the one making the call. I made HER call and turn herself in. Under some 'persuasion' pointed to her head" Michael explained.
Trevor took a moment to process it all, then he said "So you did this all on your own... leavin' me and Brad on the couch like two bums and without telling us ANYTHING" he growled "You could have called us too or at least FUCKING TELL US SOMETHING!!" he let out an angered roar standing up from the couch and marching to the fridge, hoping that Brad had left some Pißwasser "Nice teamworking skills there Townley!"
"I HAD TO DO IT ALONE!" Michael protested "This was something that concerned only me and Amanda! I need to protect her, I need to be a good father-"
The last word stopped Trevor in his tracks, making him turn around incredulous "...what?!"
Michael swallowed and quietly said "Amanda. She's pregnant".
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