"Don’t let me freeze" | Jay (ENHYPEN)
✧₊⁺🕯⋆.˚୨ৎ 𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂. You never expected something as simple as warmth to become a habit. What starts with small shared moments on campus slowly turns into something you can’t ignore, as you find yourself getting closer to Jay in ways that feel natural… and a little too meaningful.
✧₊⁺🕯⋆.˚୨ৎ 𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰. Jay x fem!reader
✧₊⁺🕯⋆.˚୨ৎ 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮. fluff, slow burn, university au, romance, light angst, friends to lovers.
✧₊⁺🕯⋆.˚୨ৎ 𝔀𝓬. 4.5k
✧₊⁺🕯⋆.˚୨ৎ 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮. I haven’t been able to write much for about a month, time really hasn’t been on my side lately, but i’ve been trying to make a little space for myself whenever i can to get back into it. thank you for being patient with me, and for still reading even when i go quiet. I appreciate it a lot, truly. I love you guys ♡😛
The first day of a new semester is always chaotic.
Students rush through campus with coffee cups in hand, trying to find classrooms they’ve already forgotten the location of over break. The hallways are louder than usual, conversations overlapping with the sound of lockers closing and professors calling attendance. Meanwhile, you’re focused on one thing only.
How unbelievably cold it is.
Your hands are buried inside your sleeves, shoulders tucked in as you shiver dramatically beside your cousin.
“I swear winter gets worse every year,” you mumble, rubbing your hands together.
“You say that every winter.”
“Because every winter tries to kill me.”
He laughs before glancing over his shoulder. “Oh, there he is.”
You follow his gaze and see someone walking toward the two of you.
He’s tall, dressed in a simple black hoodie with his backpack slung over one shoulder. His hands are tucked into his pockets, and despite the cold, he looks completely unaffected by the freezing wind.
“This is my friend,” your cousin says once he reaches you. “He transferred here this semester.”
The guy offers you a small nod.
“I’m Jay.”
You smile back, introducing yourself.
It’s a short interaction, but you notice things almost immediately.
Jay doesn’t seem unfriendly.
Just... quiet.
He listens more than he speaks, answering your cousin with short replies and a few polite smiles whenever either of you says something. There’s something calm about him, almost comforting, even if he barely talks.
“Well,” your cousin sighs after checking the time. “We should get to class.”
You wave goodbye, assuming that’ll be the end of the interaction.
It isn’t.
When you walk into your lecture hall a few minutes later, you stop in the doorway.
Jay is already there.
He notices you too, giving you the same small smile from earlier before looking back at the front of the room.
“Oh,” you whisper to yourself. “Same class.”
Just your luck.
The professor begins assigning seats completely at random, reading names from a list while everyone groans dramatically.
You don’t pay much attention until your name is called.
“And next to... Jay.”
You glance toward him.
He simply slides his chair over a little to make room.
“Looks like we’re neighbors,” you joke while sitting down.
“I guess so,” he replies quietly.
The class begins.
Or at least it tries to.
It’s impossible to focus when your fingers feel like they’re about to freeze off.
You keep blowing warm air into your hands, rubbing them together beneath the desk, wondering why the classroom somehow feels colder than outside.
Halfway through the lecture, your pen slips from your fingers.
You both bend down to pick it up at the exact same time.
Your hands meet.
The moment your skin touches his, you freeze.
Not because he startled you.
Because he’s warm.
Ridiculously warm.
You blink, still holding your pen while your fingers remain against his.
“…You’re warm.”
The words leave your mouth before you even think about them.
Jay looks at you, slightly confused.
Without realizing what you’re doing, you leave your hand resting lightly over his for another second, soaking up the warmth radiating from his skin.
Only then do you realize how strange that probably looks.
Your eyes widen.
“Oh—” You pull your hand back just enough to look embarrassed. “I’m sorry... I just needed to borrow some warmth.”
For a second, Jay simply blinks at you.
Then, to your surprise, the corners of his lips lift into a tiny smile.
“…It’s okay.”
He says it so casually that your embarrassment melts away almost instantly.
The rest of the class goes by quietly, but every now and then you catch yourself glancing at him.
Or more specifically...
At his hands.
Over the next few weeks, it happens naturally.
You never plan it.
Whenever you walk into class, there always seems to be an empty seat beside Jay.
And without thinking, you always end up taking it.
Neither of you mentions it.
It just becomes routine.
You chat before lectures begin, compare notes when one of you misses something, complain about assignments, and occasionally sit in comfortable silence while waiting for the professor to arrive.
At some point, you realize Jay is no longer just leaving a random seat empty.
He’s saving it.
If someone starts walking toward the chair beside him, he quietly places his backpack there until you arrive.
Then he moves it without saying a word.
It becomes so normal that neither of you acknowledges it anymore.
One afternoon after class, you and your cousin leave the building together with Jay walking beside you.
The cold hits you immediately.
A strong gust of wind makes you shiver from head to toe.
Without thinking, you step closer to Jay and wrap both hands around his arm, pressing yourself against his side.
He barely reacts.
He just keeps walking at the same pace as if this is completely normal.
Your cousin glances at the two of you before letting out a laugh.
“You know,” he says, “I don't think I've seen you walk home without hanging onto Jay even once.”
You look up from where you're practically attached to Jay's arm, already opening your mouth to defend yourself.
Before you can say anything, Jay answers for you.
“…She's cold.”
His voice is calm, matter-of-fact, like it's the most obvious explanation in the world.
Your cousin only hums, clearly unconvinced.
“Sure,” he says with a grin. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
He shakes his head, amused, as the three of you continue walking through campus.
Jay never pulls his arm away.
And somewhere between campus and the parking lot, you realize something.
You're not cold anymore.
You hadn't even noticed when it happened.
A few weeks turn into a couple of months before either of you realizes just how much has changed. Somewhere between shared lectures, coffee breaks, and walking across campus together, being next to Jay becomes the most natural thing in the world. It isn't something you plan. It just... happens.
If you arrive first, you save him a seat. If he gets there before you, the chair beside him somehow always stays empty. Your classmates stop questioning it after a while, simply assuming the two of you came as a pair. Most days, they're right.
The weather refuses to get any warmer, which means your habit of borrowing Jay's warmth only gets worse. The moment you sit down, you're already reaching for him. Sometimes it's as simple as wrapping your cold fingers around his hand beneath the desk.
Other times, you lightly tug on the sleeve of his hoodie until he sighs, already knowing exactly what you want.
“Hands,” you mumble.
Without even looking up from his notes, he quietly offers one.
You smile to yourself before holding it between both of yours, letting out the smallest relieved sigh.
“There you go.”
Jay only shakes his head, though there's the faintest smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
It doesn't stop there. Long lectures usually end with your head resting against his shoulder while the professor explains something neither of you is listening to anymore. Whenever the wind gets too cold outside, you instinctively move closer until your arms are brushing. Sometimes, without asking, you steal his hoodie.
“You literally brought your own,” he points out one afternoon, watching you zip his hoodie all the way up.
“I know.”
“So why are you wearing mine?”
You grin.
“Yours is warmer.”
He knows that's probably not true.
Still...
He lets you keep it.
Every single time.
People start noticing. One of your classmates eventually laughs as they watch you practically glued to Jay during lunch.
“You two are attached at the hip.”
You don't think much of it.
“It's because he's warm.”
“Sure,” they reply with a grin. “If you say so.”
Jay nearly chokes on his drink.
Your affection slowly becomes even more effortless. Whenever he does something nice for you, carrying your bag when it's too heavy, lending you his notes, buying you a hot drink before class, you always thank him the same way.
With a tiny kiss.
The first one lands on his cheek.
“Thank you.”
Jay freezes.
Completely.
After that, it becomes a habit. Some days it's another quick peck on his cheek before class. Other times it's against his jaw after he saves you a seat. Eventually, without even realizing you've become bolder, you stand on your tiptoes after he hands you a warm coffee and press a soft kiss against the side of his neck.
“There,” you say with a bright smile. “That one's for the coffee.”
Before he can answer, you're already walking away.
To you, they're nothing more than innocent little thank-you kisses. Small gestures for someone who's always taking care of you. You never stop to think about them because they feel as natural as borrowing his hoodie or holding his hand when you're cold.
To Jay...
They're absolutely not.
Every kiss sends warmth rushing straight to his face. Every brush of your lips stays with him for hours, replaying in his mind long after you've gone home. He tells himself you're simply affectionate. That this is just who you are.
He repeats it often enough that he almost believes it.
Almost.
That night, long after everyone else is asleep, Jay lies awake staring at the ceiling. His hand slowly lifts to the side of his neck, fingertips brushing the exact spot where your lips had been earlier.
His heart races all over again.
“…Unbelievable.”
He lets out a quiet sigh, closing his eyes.
Somehow...
He can still remember exactly how it felt.
By now, being together isn't something either of you has to think about anymore. It becomes part of your routine so naturally that neither of you remembers when it started. Every morning, the first thing you do after stepping onto campus is look around for Jay. If he isn't already waiting outside the building, you instinctively wonder where he is.
Without realizing it, Jay has developed the exact same habit.
He starts arriving a little earlier than usual, pretending he simply likes being on time. In reality, he's waiting for you. The moment he spots you walking toward the entrance with your backpack bouncing against your shoulder, something inside him settles.
"Morning," you smile.
"Morning."
Somehow, the day always feels a little lighter after that.
The little things begin adding up. If you skip breakfast because you woke up late, Jay quietly places a warm pastry on your desk before class starts. If the vending machine runs out of your favorite drink, he somehow finds another one somewhere else on campus. When the hallways are crowded between lectures, he naturally walks beside you, making sure no one bumps into you without ever mentioning it.
You notice all of it.
"You really pay attention," you tell him one afternoon after he hands you your favorite coffee without asking.
He shrugs.
"I just remembered."
You smile so brightly that he has to look away.
Walking home together becomes just as normal. Your cousin isn't always around anymore, sometimes leaving early for club meetings or staying late with his own friends. Somehow, that always leaves you and Jay making the walk back together.
You don't mind.
Neither does he.
Some conversations last the entire walk. Others are filled with comfortable silence, broken only by the sound of your footsteps and the occasional laugh. Somehow, silence has never felt awkward with him.
For you, being close to Jay is effortless.
If you're tired, you lean against his shoulder while waiting for the crosswalk light to change.
If your hands are cold, you reach for his without asking.
If you're laughing too hard, you instinctively grab onto his sleeve to steady yourself.
You never stop to think about any of it.
Jay, unfortunately, thinks about all of it.
Far too much.
At night, every little interaction plays over and over in his head. The way you smile when you see him. The tiny kisses you leave on his cheek. The way your fingers always find his first whenever you're cold.
His heart insists those moments have to mean something.
His mind immediately disagrees.
She doesn't like you.
She just likes that you're warm.
Anyone could've been in your place.
You're basically a human heater.
The thought follows him everywhere.
He hates how believable it sounds.
Whenever you hug him, he wonders if you'd do the exact same thing with someone else whose hands happened to be warmer than yours. Every kiss on his cheek feels impossibly precious... until he convinces himself it's nothing more than your way of saying thank you.
He never says any of this out loud.
Instead, he smiles.
Lets you borrow his hoodies.
Lets you steal his warmth.
Lets himself fall a little deeper every single day.
Meanwhile, you're completely unaware of the storm happening inside his head.
To you, Jay is simply the person you feel safest with.
The one you unconsciously search for in every crowded hallway.
The one whose presence makes long lectures feel shorter.
The one who somehow makes every ordinary day feel a little softer.
Being close to him doesn't just keep you warm anymore.
It feels...
Like home.
One afternoon, the two of you leave class together beneath a sky so clear it almost feels like spring has arrived early. The sun is out, the breeze is gentle, and for the first time in weeks, you aren't shivering.
You chat about an upcoming assignment as you walk across campus before stopping outside the library.
Without thinking, you step closer and wrap your arms around him.
Just because.
Jay instinctively hugs you back, his heart nearly stopping.
A few seconds pass before you pull away with an easy smile, waving goodbye as you head toward your next lecture.
He stands there for a long moment, watching you disappear around the corner.
...It's not even cold today.
His chest tightens.
Then, almost immediately, he shakes his head.
She's probably just used to it.
It's easier to believe that...
Than to hope it might mean something more.
The more Jay falls for you, the more convinced he becomes that he's headed straight for heartbreak.
He tells himself he needs to stop before his feelings get any deeper. Before he starts expecting things you never promised him. Before he mistakes your kindness for something it isn't.
So, little by little, he begins pulling away.
At first, the changes are almost impossible to notice. He stops arriving early enough to save the seat beside him. If someone else takes it before you get to class, he doesn't stop them anymore. He replies to your messages hours later instead of almost immediately. After lectures, he quietly slips out before you can catch up to him.
You notice.
Not all at once.
But enough.
The first morning you walk into class and find someone else sitting beside him, you pause in the doorway for a second longer than usual. You end up taking the seat behind him instead, wondering why it feels so... strange.
When class ends, you hurry after him.
"Jay!"
He turns around, offering the same polite smile as always.
"Hey."
"Were you in a rush today?"
"...Kind of."
You nod slowly.
"Oh... okay."
He leaves before the conversation can go any further.
You tell yourself you're overthinking it.
Except it keeps happening.
Your texts sit unread for hours. The conversations that used to last until sunset barely make it past a few minutes. More than once, you leave the building expecting to find him waiting outside, only to realize he's already gone.
The walk home suddenly feels much longer without him.
You don't understand.
If anything, you find yourself looking for him even more.
You still choose the seat closest to him whenever you can. You still reach for his sleeve whenever your hands get cold. When you're tired, your head still naturally finds his shoulder before you remember he isn't leaning toward you anymore.
He never pushes you away.
But he doesn't lean in, either.
The distance is small.
Almost invisible.
Yet somehow, it feels enormous.
One afternoon, after a particularly exhausting lecture, you catch him outside the building.
"There you are," you sigh in relief.
He gives you a small nod.
For a moment, things almost feel normal again.
You smile, stepping closer like you always do, and leave a quick kiss against his cheek.
"Thanks for sending me your notes yesterday."
The moment your lips leave his skin...
Jay takes a small step back.
It's barely noticeable.
Just one step.
But it's enough.
Your smile disappears almost instantly.
You stare at him, confused, your hands slowly falling back to your sides.
"...Did I do something wrong?"
The question comes out quieter than you intended.
Jay's expression changes the second he sees your face.
His eyes soften.
Guilt flashes across them so quickly it almost hurts to look at.
"...No."
His voice is barely above a whisper.
"You didn't."
For a second, it seems like he's about to say something else.
To explain.
To apologize.
Instead...
He lowers his gaze.
"...I'll see you tomorrow."
Before you can stop him, he turns around and walks away.
You stand there long after he's disappeared into the crowd, staring at the space where he had been only moments ago.
The wind brushes past you, colder than it has any right to be.
For the first time all winter...
You realize warmth was never the reason you kept searching for Jay.
And somehow...
You've never felt colder.
Jay tells himself he’s doing the right thing. That if he keeps his distance long enough, the ache in his chest will stop feeling so sharp. It doesn’t. If anything, it only gets worse the longer he goes without hearing your voice up close or feeling you tug on his sleeve like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
So when he arrives on campus one afternoon and sees you laughing in the courtyard with someone else, everything inside him goes still.
You’re hugging him. Not awkwardly, not politely, but openly, easily, exactly the way you usually hug Jay when you want warmth or comfort or just because you feel like it. The sight hits him so hard his jaw tightens instantly. His chest burns, his hands curl into fists at his sides, and for the first time in weeks, something in his expression finally cracks.
You notice it immediately.
The way his eyes linger for half a second too long.
The way his lips press into a thin line.
The way he turns around without even approaching you.
He looks… upset.
Not distant.
Not neutral.
Upset.
And that alone is enough to make you forget everything else.
Without thinking, you excuse yourself from the conversation and follow after him.
“Jay!”
He doesn’t stop walking.
You quicken your steps, catching up to him near the side of the building where the noise fades into silence. When you finally reach him, he’s already half turned away, like he’s trying to disappear into his own thoughts.
“Hey,” you call again, softer this time. “Wait.”
He finally stops, but he doesn’t look at you.
“So...” he says after a moment, voice tight, forced calm slipping through. “You’re busy now?”
You blink, confused by the tone. “What? No, I was just—”
He cuts in before you can finish, a small, bitter smile tugging at his mouth.
“You found someone warmer?”
That makes you freeze completely.
Your brows knit together. “...What are you talking about?”
Before he can say anything else, the guy from earlier jogs over, completely unaware of the tension hanging in the air.
“Oh,” he says casually, stopping beside you. “Mom said not to forget to feed the dog when you get home.”
The tension breaks instantly.
You let out a long sigh, dropping your shoulders. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”
Jay blinks.
Once.
Twice.
Everything clicks at the same time.
The guy waves, already stepping back. “Anyway, I’ll see you later.”
And then he’s gone.
Silence falls again, heavier this time.
You look at Jay… and it takes you exactly two seconds before you realize what just happened.
Your expression shifts.
Then you laugh.
At first it’s small, just a breath you can’t hold back, but it quickly turns into full laughter, hands coming up to your face as you bend slightly forward.
“Jay…” you manage between laughs. “You thought—”
You shake your head, laughing harder. “You actually thought—”
He doesn’t move.
Doesn’t speak.
Just stands there, completely frozen, ears already turning red.
You step a little closer, still smiling widely.
“So...” you tease softly, tilting your head. “Were you jealous?”
He finally looks at you for a second.
Then immediately looks away again.
But his ears answer for him.
That evening, campus is quieter than usual. The sun is already dipping low, painting everything in soft orange light, and most students have left for the day. Jay is sitting alone outside one of the buildings, elbows resting on his knees, staring at nothing in particular.
He looks… tired.
Not physically.
Just like he’s been carrying something heavy for too long.
When you find him, you don’t say anything at first. You simply slow your steps and sit down beside him like it’s the most natural thing in the world. He glances at you briefly, surprised, but doesn’t move away.
A few seconds pass in silence.
Then you lean into him and hug him.
Not teasing. Not playful. Just… holding him.
He lets out a quiet breath, almost like a small, sad laugh.
“…You’re cold again?” he murmurs, voice softer than usual.
You shake your head immediately, still holding onto him.
“No.”
That makes him pause.
“…Then why?”
You finally pull back just enough to look at him properly. Your expression is calm, certain in a way he hasn’t seen in a while.
“Because I wanted to.”
Something shifts in his face.
It’s subtle, but immediate. Like something inside him finally gives up on holding itself together.
His hand hesitates for a second before resting on your waist, careful, almost unsure if he’s allowed to. When you don’t pull away, he gently pulls you closer instead.
His eyes stay on yours for a long time.
Long enough that everything else disappears.
Then he leans in.
The kiss is soft.
Shaky.
Careful in a way that makes your chest ache.
Like he’s terrified that if he lets go, you’ll vanish completely.
When he pulls away, it’s immediate. Too immediate. His breathing is uneven, and panic flashes across his face as if he’s already regretting how much he allowed himself to feel.
“I’m sorry…” he starts quickly.
“I shouldn’t have—”
“I just couldn’t—”
But you don’t let him finish.
You smile.
Small. Warm. Certain.
Then you pull him back in.
And kiss him again.
This time, it lasts longer.
Slower.
Steadier.
And somewhere between that second and third breath…
Neither of you is scared anymore.
Dating Jay feels different from anything you expected, and yet somehow completely right. He’s still the same quiet, slightly reserved boy from before, still gets shy when people tease him, still looks away when he laughs too hard. But now there’s something new about him too, something that only exists when he’s with you.
He doesn’t wait anymore.
Not for you to initiate, not for the perfect moment, not for anything at all. He just… reaches for you. Like it’s instinct. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
He kisses you while you’re studying, leaning over your notes until you stop pretending to focus. He kisses you when you’re scrolling through your phone, gently turning your face toward him like he can’t stand not being noticed. Before class, after class, in between steps as you walk across campus—there’s always a reason, or maybe no reason at all.
Sometimes it’s quick.
Sometimes it lingers.
Always it leaves you smiling.
“You’re obsessed,” you tease one afternoon, barely able to finish the sentence before he pulls you a little closer.
His lips brush yours again, softer this time, and he hums against you.
“…Maybe.”
That one word alone makes your heart skip.
You start testing him after that.
Small things at first. Leaning in just to see if he reacts. Giving him quick cheek kisses in the middle of conversations. Pressing a kiss to his jaw when he’s pretending to read something serious. You do it just to watch him blush, just to see that small, flustered reaction you used to get out of him so easily.
Except now…
He doesn’t freeze anymore.
Instead, he just turns toward you like it’s expected.
And kisses you back.
Once.
Twice.
Sometimes even more.
Like he’s making up for every time he was too scared to do it before.
Months later, Jay has become part of your everyday life in a way that feels almost effortless. Your cousin isn’t even surprised anymore when he walks into your house and finds Jay already there, like he’s been there longer than the furniture itself. Neither of you bothers explaining it anymore. It just makes sense.
You’re still just as cuddly as before. You still cling to him on cold mornings without thinking, pressing your hands against his like it’s instinct. Only now, you do it even when it’s warm outside, even when there’s no excuse, even when you definitely don’t need his warmth anymore. It just feels right.
One afternoon, you’re curled up on top of him on the couch while he lazily plays with your hair, fingers threading through it like he’s memorizing you all over again. There are soft kisses between words, quiet laughter, and long stretches of silence that somehow feel louder than anything else.
Your brother walks in, stops dead, and lets out a long, exhausted sigh.
“…Can you two stop kissing for ONE second?”
Neither of you even react properly.
Jay just kisses your forehead, then your cheek, then your lips like it’s the most natural thing in the world, completely unfazed by the complaint. Your brother throws his hands up in frustration.
“I swear, you’re always like this. Always hugging, always kissing, always attached like—like—just breathe for five minutes apart, please.”
You laugh softly, still tucked against Jay, and shake your head.
“I’m not hugging you just because I’m cold anymore.”
Jay pauses at that, looking down at you for a second before smiling faintly, like something in him settles.
“…Good,” he murmurs. “I was hoping you’d stay even in summer.”
You snuggle closer without even thinking, while your brother groans again in pure defeat.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re all happy, I get it,” he mutters. “Except me. I’m not happy. I live here. I can’t escape it. There’s no peace. No personal space. Just constant kissing and hugging and—ugh.”
You laugh harder at that, and Jay just tightens his arms around you a little more, calm as ever.
“…We’re happy,” he says simply.
Almost everyone is.
Almost.
