5'10" with shoes. @stress-borland - Tumblr Blog

obligatory intro

19M

"grungey grimy gross, ugly in an intentional way"

Picture blog: @stressley-images

I ♡ my gf @cheeserpop

I have an anti-@immigrant policy.

I have a weird delusion that I hate a certain season more than others and just have to get past it, when in reality, I'm just trying to make it to next month most of the year. I have like, short windows of time in September and early May where I'm feeling pretty good about things, but I consider those a momentary break before it gets way worse. Predictably.

My dad is always turning the AC to arctic temperatures. I should not be freezing to death in summer. I've taken to wearing long sleeves again. Because I'm in the minority in my family seeing as I don't run hot. I love heat. Warm feel nice.

This blog is a year old now.

aight. i feel gross. im leaving again. later pals.

I'm sick of my taste in music. I'm sick of being autistic. Why do I have to like Mike Patton? Why can't I be a Marvin Gaye fan instead? Why do I have to factor in lore when making a decision of whether or not to like something?

hang on a second.

when tf did i watch zoolander? i know i did, but i cant remember when.

he kind of looks like me if i was an egg.

what if neurodivergence isnt the problem and i

really am just lazy and self-sabotaging and unwilling to do hard things?

Dire (existentially miserable) circumstances. Lonely. Job despawned: did not get fired, did not quit; it's just gone. Waiting to hear back from applications. No hobbies. Limited contact with outside world. Limited technology access. Can't really leave house. Last week had a small breakdown about it all and bawled my eyes out to Ocean Man. Dressed like Augustus Gloop if he was a Target employee. Likely losing weight again due to inconsistent appetite. No plans for the future. Haven't had a hug from anyone but my dad (mandatory) in almost a month. Hair is growing out stupid. House is cold and dusty asf. I exist, but it's not enjoyable. Hasn't been for quite some time. Father is making me write a five page essay on agency. Do with that information what you will. Summer is the trenches. I like warmer weather but I can't even go out and enjoy it this time either. Still figuring out how much of this I'm doing to myself.