this year we will be reviving thinking about warren kepler on main

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trying on a metaphor

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@stuck-in-the-puter
this year we will be reviving thinking about warren kepler on main
there have been sightings of a previously unknown morphosyntactic alignment in some guy's closet. in the past two weeks, three more theoretical frameworks for linguistics have turned into Optimality Theory overnight. the complex houses, unnamed sources say, married garden paths. "we're still expecting the baby," a proto-world recapitulationist is heard saying. jovial diffusions happen lexically down the mountain trail. on their father's death, local historical linguist told us that the aging of a family is a pull chain. two undescribed sci-fi alien languages stir neighborhood controversy for trying to become real. typesetting IPA on a typewriter: is it a good idea? specialist says you'll have to say yes very soon, but declined to explain when we asked, and when we asked how they got in the studio. did you feel that, listener? just now, all island effects disappeared for one second, then came back as if nothing had happened. a grad student won 1 dollar by perfectly drawing a spectrogram by hand. there have been reports of New Nouns. just like Newton was hit by an apple, a generativist was hit by an entire tree. and now, the weather
official linguistics post
"I asked chatGTP"
Well I asked the plant monster in the vents and it says 💡
Happy Birthday Warren Kepler, your long stories short shall live in my head forever king
when I’m sad I think about pre-canon si-5 going on missions to like the middle of nowhere and staying in shitty motels and eating at shitty diners and they only get one room with two beds because they’re codependent losers and ofc they can share and Kepler insists on driving and road trip games and Maxwell tunes them out until it’s time for gas station snacks and they’re a dysfunctional little family but they love each other
"Wolf 359 is so heat"
The heat in question :
Do you ever think Kepler had Maxwell take a photo with him and Jacobi when she finally accepted the job? And had it framed in the privacy of his home where he could have some humanity locked away? Do you think Jacobi found it when they came back to earth
@imperial-evolution was your intention to make me incredibly sad?
… No comment
Next I listened to academicasaurus
I’ve never listened to this podcast before and I was surprised how much I enjoyed listening to the first episode.
It’s simultaneously about the troubles of a team responsible for an academic journal and about some weird goings on…
I have a weird suspicion that the big villain might be a cackling velociraptor (or at least the big chaotic)… It also sounds like there’s some time and dimensional fuckery happening- there was a journal article that referenced the recent discovery that Charles Dickens was a woman which isn’t true and the team know it but the rest seemed like serious journalism so my first guess is that the stories in the purple envelopes posted under their door are to do with the velociraptor? And maybe the random fires as well? I’m not sure how yet lol.
The interaction between the characters was fun and probably a lot like academia really is, I found the program as a whole a breath of fresh air and will definitely be listening to the next episode!
Bee taking advantage of Ann being trapped in an alternate dimension with time dilation and no cell service to send her 600+ texts that brick her phone as soon as she gets back into our world is peak annoying friend behavior. I would do that to everyone I know on discord.
Oh wait, is Horatio Henderset *the* podcast man unaffected by time? Oh Lordy, is he *the* old guy?
happy birthday to the guy with the explosives ever
I said I'll do it so here he is. Jon in a skirt.
Kepler is trying to give Jacobi dance lessons for a mission. Heavy emphasis on trying. The rest of the page is up on patreon😏
Let me light that for you
"Hello? Hello? This is Fred Eurus. Hello?
Mayday, mayday, uh, this is Dr. Winifred Eurus. SOS or- I dunno- some shit.
I’m alive. I’m down here, and I’m alive."
Tides cosplay: Dr. Winifred Eurus
my favorite somewhat underrated jarchivist moments
“a COMPLAINT? i could just as easily COMPLAIN about her WASTING MY TIME”
“before i address the central point of this statement, namely the question of…. whether the sky can eat people .”
melanie: “i should have known this was a COMPLETE waste of my time” jon: “probably 🙄”
“you don’t seem like you’re in your fifties?? or- or burnt to a crisp”
“you’re serious? you’re going on a date with… the dullard of skull mountain just so you have an excuse to eat a shopska salad?”
“another startling insight from the piercing investigative mind of georgie barker”
“WHAT is my metaphorical pit???”
melanie: “i mean it’s not like you have any reason to kill me” jon: noncommittal sound
martin: “melanie seems okay but i get the feeling she’s planning something?” jon: “i- i got that feeling. Too.”
“so. kidnapped. Again.”
“like colors, but if colors hated me. got it. christ i need a cigarette.”
“MARTIN. STOP trying to TOUCH the PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE. just PUT YOUR HANDS in YOUR POCKETS or SOMETHING-”
basira: “so would you say this was supposed to be churchill or alfred hitchcock?” jon: “jowls like that, could be either”
“coma! great! let’s rearrange his office! sleeping people don’t need. pens!”
“police brutality lawsuit? :)”
[picture of edwardian offense] “I what?”
daisy: “it’s a joke, jon.” jon: “oh! hAha! yes.”
“i mean you’re not suggesting that santa works for the people’s church..”
long-suffering sigh “fuck.”
“i’m starting to feel a little. Self Conscious being a post apocalyptic google !”
martin: “did it stir any feeling in you?” jon: “Yes! Nausea! Because of the Horrible Things In It!”
“Yes the Colossal Web stretching down into an Endless Pit is a Significant improvement😑”
“‘free will’ she says, as we stand in the middle of her FUCKING WEB”