me: ugh why am i always coughing and sneezing when im in this room? and my eyes are always irritated too
the despicable mold spore:

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@stuckontheflipside
me: ugh why am i always coughing and sneezing when im in this room? and my eyes are always irritated too
the despicable mold spore:
stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day
If theyre gonna have azula be crazy in her fighting game avatar zuko should be bald with his whack ass s1 haircut
Iroh, wokely: Zuko... the only way you can become a good person is to beat up women... there is literally no other way... don't try to reason with it...
you spill dr pepper on the concrete and a single perfect rose pushes up out of a crack
abused kids reaching late teenage years: it seems I have trauma symptoms, which is odd because nothing traumatic had ever happened to me... sure I don't have many memories of my childhood but I am sure that everything that happened was 100% my fault and also normal and I am supposed to be strong enough to be over that and it was a long time ago so. That's all good. Now. I need to hide these trauma symptoms or my parents will kill me.
I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse
crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml
oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight
Jet from atla is so funny bc like, he's fighting zuko and taunting him being like "bet you wanna use some fire instead of those swords, dont u fireboy" which is a funny thing to say to a guy who is clearly very eager to fight using swords
change does not come from a place of comfort
I find pennies and nickels in my couch all the time, so I donât know what you are talking about
I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing
my momâs trans allyship is on another level
she once called my friendâs deadname âthat stupid thing his mom calls himâ
I was once talking to my 75 year old Chinese dad in passing about a trans friend of mine not getting along with her family and he asked why and I said err, because she's trans, dad.
He asked: "Oh, was she the only son or something before *waves hand*?" and I was like, warily, no she has two brothers. And he responded with a great deal of confusion: "Then what's their problem?!?!"
Later on: "Anyway, even if she WAS the only son, that's not her problem, that's THEIR problem. They should have had more sons if they were going to be bothered about it."
Knowing what I know about chinese culture thereâs something so beautifully simple about his logic of âno son to carry on family name/look after them in old age/all the other stuff? Skill issue! Shouldâve had more sons! Shouldâve kept the family unit strong yourself! Blaming your daughter for your own failure of family planning is W E A K!â and then he learns there are more sons and it completely breaks his train of logic because if yes to more sons then why issue?? You have two others and youâre mad you donât have three?? Whack. Greedy.
I can already envision him as an ancient lord of a powerful house looking down his nose at the latest messenger bringing gossip from the house of his offspringâs friend and going ânow they have a daughter to marry into another family for powerful alliances and two sons to take over her former duties and somehow theyâre still complaining about their good fortune? They shall not survive the winter.â and then sipping his tea with all the grim satisfaction of someone about to watch an unnecessary soap opera of drama unfold from a safe distance or something
top 3 hobbies for young adults:
1. borrowing misery from future
2. carrying grief of the past
3. agonizing over the present
MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE
FTM PASSING ADVICE
- start wearing typically masculine clothing, like suits with wide shoulders
- people will tell you to not wear pinstripes because it'll make your chest and curves more obvious but think of it as a disguise to throw off their scent, like a zebra. it's urban camouflage
- start callin other men "boss" as a sign of respect
- always make sure to stay safe, keep a switchblade on you or a handgun or something
- consider your diet, work some carbs and fat in there for when T starts workin it's magic. im talkin pasta, pizza, lasagna
- tuck your hair up into a fedora if ya can't cut it
- remember to voice train, if you layer on an accent maybe it'll be less obvious, like a Brooklyn one if you're not already from there
- start snappin your rhythmically and intimidatingly when you find the poor bastard that owes the big man up top that several hundred grand who hasn't paid his dues yet. that'll show em who's the dominant man in the situation
- put a playlist of noir jazz music together and have it playing on your phone in your pocket so it follows you at all times, this is crucial to exuding masculine energy
- don't bind for more than 6-7 hours straight
the amount of people skimming this post or reading like the first 2 lines and maybe the last one and nothing else & going "umm... my passing advice? do whatever you WANT. stay HEALTHY." is so fucking funny
this is how this website sounds sometimes