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he/him/his | several confused magpies in a human suit

[certifiedcis]

people who think they’re smart because they refuse to consider social or historical explanations for literally anything

[certifiedcis]

[outofcontextdnd]

“Did you just start a revolution?”

“It’s called voting with your sword.”

[runcibility]

It appears that just like Gritty...

… the Untitled Goose is now a leftist icon:

(graphic taken from https://twitter.com/IGN/status/1175492642773200897)

In celebration of our apparently new SJW ally, I give you some handy graphics:

[rorytelling]

At this point “being a sjw” just means “liking things”

[flamewarp]

Those damn SJWS and their *looks at hand* “Geese”

[urbanism]

Stan socialist goose

[baenling]

i was confused about this so i googled it. there’s literally just a bit of text at the end of the game’s credits about how australia still belongs to the aboriginals. that’s it. that’s what they’re mad about.

“This game was made on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders, past and present. Sovereignty was never ceded.

“Thank you very much for playing our videogame.”

[outofcontextdnd]

"Is the library closed? Because my heathen ass wants to study."

[outofcontextdnd]

“So now you’re a tiger with superpowers.”

“That’s much better than grad school.”

[richardmadens-archive]

[thechronicleofshe]

this hurled my wig into the rafters as a kid

[http-danvers-deactivated2021031]

[memewhore]

[disgustinganimals]

you can’t fool me i know where cats come from

[argumate]

but soft, what brick through yonder window breaks

[gemmythedestroyer-deactivated20]

It is the East, and Juliet’s got a gun.

[thelvadams]

people really complaining about rey’s backflip being unrealistic, as if this never happened:

[nezumionice]

I’M CACKLING WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST WENT NYOOM

[feralkwe-deactivated20210912]

ppl take Star Wars far more seriously than it was ever meant to be taken.

[myfriendscallmekazzy]

Why do Spotify friends exist? So they can see my ABHORRENT taste in music at 2am on a Tuesday? So they know I have played Party In The USA on a loop for three weeks? So they know all my faults and weaknesses? Why is this a feature.

[myfriendscallmekazzy]

Can I be honest, I originally made this post because someone asked me “if I was okay” after listening to the Skyrim soundtrack for around 80 hours. Mind your own business

[c3rvida3]

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

[drivablecar]

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

[c3rvida3]

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

[drivablecar]

Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.

[c3rvida3]

First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.

And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.

[outofcontextdnd]

Paladin: My strongest spell is “horse”

[solarmorrigan]

So. 10th grade English class. We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing. A couple of people try to ask her and she says we’ll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she’ll be back in a couple of minutes

Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So, y’know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat; one of the boys teasingly steals a girl’s balloon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it’s quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back, stops in the doorway, and just stares at us

After a long moment, she says, confused, “You didn’t pop the balloons.”

To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, “We’re allowed to pop them?” and immediately turns around and stabs his friend’s balloon with the pencil

There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates’ balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t pop your balloons.”

Apparently we were starting Lord of the Flies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever

[loveharuokumura]

Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom. On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we just started tackling the list of tasks. Task 1- the test. Everybody took it silently, no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two: tidy up the room. So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of the room. Task Three: Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us. So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the teacher. After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING. She was so upset we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they were too nice. She tried to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild because it meant her class didn’t get the point across

[hookedonafeeeling]

That’s because lord of the flies isn’t representative of humanity it’s representative of rich white male shitheads

[neroculapiece]

What a man

[powderwell]

no offense but the sooner you all realise cringe culture is like, thinly veiled superiority complex and targets almost exclusively young people or people who aren’t neurotypical, the better

[miiriya]

[irresponsible-black-unicorn-dea]

Everything ABOUT THIS

[dancefloors]

SCREAM