The Art of Studying

Unsatisfied with your learning rate? Looking for a way to ace your next exam? Well... keep looking

[studytipsforall]

me: *trying to study*

my braincell:

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me: *studying*

my brain: little pig boy comes from the dirt

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Just noticed the word 'studying' contains the word 'dying'.

COINCIDENCE?

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My brain cannot handle time, planning or deadlines

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Zoom. Exams.

... 'nuff said.

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In this essay I will -

(be very very thankful that we don't write on paper anymore, otherwise my essay would be so tear-stained as to be unreadable)

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me watching my life fall apart in front of my eyes and still not taking it seriously:

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me @ my brain: dude we have to study. we gotta focus, man, we gotta focus right now

my brain:

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Study Tip #49

Your life is a joke, and the gods are laughing

[studytipsforall]

Study Tip #48

Instead of using your time to study productively, spend two thirds of the day doing this:

[sappharah]

my skills include reading an entire page of an academic text without absorbing a single word

[studytipsforall]

Amen

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Study Tip #47

me: alright!! I'm going to take advantage of this period of social distancing to catch up with my studies!!

also me: *spends an entire TWO MONTHS doing literally nothing*

[studytipsforall]

Study Tip #46

someone: wow how do you not get anxious before exams?

me:

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Ah, yes. "Studying"

Also known as "Is that really all I have in my fridge? Really? Are we completely sure? *checks for the eleventh time*"

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Study Tip #45

me: "oh I'm so sorry I can't come, I'm just SO busy with studying..."

also me:

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Study Tip #44

Reading books for pleasure is now as foreign a concept as hearing a squirrel talk

[studytipsforall]

Study tips rated from 1 to 10

color coordinate: hands down the absolute best way to waste time and have fun doing it. 10/10

organize your schedule: it'll take at least three to four hours, and you'll do it proudly and shamelessly. After all, you're being productive, and kinda working, right? 8/10

prepare in advance: before cracking open those books, you might wonder, "wait, how do you study?" Legit question. Perfect time for a few searches on the internet, just a few minutes to clear a few doubts. Haha. Minutes. Right. Dumbass. 6/10

leave the phone: suddenly I have a pressing need to know how to say 'moist' in spanish. The world is a cold, lonely place. Who am I? Have I always been so untethered? 2/10

participate and talk to your teacher: ew, no. -10/10