I have a lot of friends who live in other states and countries and they ask me what it’s like living in Florida. So I have created THE ULTIMATE GUIDE OF LIVING IN FLORIDA!!!
Mosquito repellant doesn’t work but Cortizone 10 does.
Not everyone lives next to Disney, SeaWorld or Busch Gardens.
No one outside of Miami or Orlando are Heat or Magic fans.
Yes we have baseball teams, and they suck
We also have American football teams, they suck too
We also have Soccer teams, they are actually pretty good but its like being in an exclusive club if you’re a fan.
Despite being the most southern state, hockey seems to be the only professional sport we are good at.
The Tampa Bay Lightning are better.
If you have to drive to Tampa and its foggy out, give yourself another hour. The Skyway is probably closed.
DONT TURN ON YOUR HAZARDS IF IT STARTS RAINING!!!!!!!!!
Never prepare for Hurricane season, unless a hurricane is DEFINITELY going to hit us.
Hurricane parties are a tradition. You MUST go if you are invited.
No matter what the weather man says, it WILL rain today.
Anything lower than that is absurd.
Sunscreen is your best friend
Alligators are the unofficial state animal.
It’s normal to see one in your pool or backyard.
Black racers (a type of snake) are cool, DONT KILL THEM, they are non-venomous and protect your yard from rats.
If you have an outdoor pool, EXPECT TO SEE FROGS.
Even though no one in their family has ever gone to the school, almost everyone is a FSU, UF, or USF fan.
Florida isn’t a ‘southern’ state like Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, etc. No one born here has a southern drawl.
Shorts and t-shirts is an all year outfit.
Miami isn’t anything like they show in the movies 335 days out of the year, the other 30 is spring break.
NEVER GO TO DISNEY ON A MAJOR HOLIDAY!!
Go the day after, the parks are EMPTY!
Learn the stingray shuffle, IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE!!!
^^^This isn’t a dance move, its a way to prevent being stung by a stingray while hanging out at the beach.
9 times out of 10, it’s a porpoise not a dolphin.
If you own a surfboard, GET RID OF IT OR MOVE TO CALIFORNIA. Waves don’t exist in the Gulf of Mexico, and the waves on the east coast are nothing compared to the west coast.
No matter where you are, its less than two hour drive to a beach.
If it starts raining, don’t panic or cancel your outdoor plans, its normal.
The only thing you have to worry about is when its starts STORMING.
Tampa isn’t called the lightning capital of the world for nothing.
Lastly, yes, we are actually planning on separating from the U.S to form our own country. Because honestly, we do nothing.
I hoped everyone found this helpful.
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