Shit my Insane Ex said

This is a blog about all the messed up stuff my ex said to me during the two years we knew each other. I am writing this all out in an attempt to move on from the relationship while also getting a laugh out of it here and there as well as sharing my experience with others who may have been through the same situation. Thanks for stopping by and reading.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

7 Ways to Tell If Your Partner Might Be Manipulative

Once this author recognized these patterns, she realized she wasn't a bad partner – she was being manipulated. If you spot these signs in your relationship, it may be time for you to consider this possibility, too.

Hey everyone, sorry I have been out of touch for a few weeks but life was busy.

I wanted to start off by saying that I started this blog nearly a year ago as part of my New Year’s Resolution in order to help me heal from this relationship and I am proud that I was able to keep it going for so long, though sporadically.

Since I did not post last week I will make two posts this week, this post linking to an article is the first. Once again, this is an article I wish I had seen years ago and I hope it may be helpful to someone out there.

I also wanted to say that now that I have reached one year, my posts will no longer follow a weekly schedule (as if they ever really did) and I will only post when I have something to tell.

Thanks to everyone for reading along and I hope to see you back in 2016!

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Whispering

ASH: Is there something you're not telling me?

ME: Why do you ask?

ASH: 'Cause I get the feeling that you are and if you're not telling me something, you're basically lying to me. And you know how I feel about lying.

ME: ... I- ... I've been going to counseling.

ASH: I thought so. I don't know why you wouldn't tell me.

ME: 'Cause I'm going through a lot and it's hard to admit.

ASH: So how is it?

ME: I don't think it's working out with who they gave me. I might try the therapy clinic on campus instead.

ASH: Why don't you just talk to me?

ME: 'Cause there are people out there who are qualified to help me when I need it and you clearly are not qualified.

ASH: Why?

ME: 'Cause you're one of the things I have to talk about and I can't talk to you about you.

ASH: Why not?

ME: Because you don't listen to me.

ASH: Sure I do.

ME: No, you hear me but you don't listen. There is a difference.

ASH: Okay, whatever. But just know that I am hear to talk when you need it.

ME: Right, but there are more qualified people I can talk to.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

B Movie

ME: Okay, it's been fun but I gotta go back to my apartment.

ASH: What? NO, stay.

ME: Can't. I gotta study for my final tomorrow.

ASH: You don't need to worry about that, that's a B class.

ME: Yes, but I would like to get an A on this.

ASH: You do fine on all of your tests, you don't need to study.

ME: I do well on my tests BECAUSE I study.

ASH: Whatever.

*Two weeks later*

ASH: How'd you do on that final?

ME: Oh, I got a 90.

ASH: See, I told you that you didn't need to study.

ME: Uh, no. I got that grade BECAUSE I studied. And may have done better if you hadn't wasted so much of my time.

ASH: Whatever, you don't need to study.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Cyber Monday

ME: Okay, I'm going to back to my room. Time for sleep.

ASH: What, no. You can't.

ME: Uh, yes I can. I'm tired.

ASH: But what about the Cyber Monday sales?

ME: We can look at them tomorrow, okay.

ASH: No, we gotta stay up and wait for them at midnight.

ME: I am not staying up for that, I just drove 2 hours from home and I have class in the morning.

ASH: But we gotta get all these deals.

ME: Like what? You only buy, like, one thing anyway. Aren't you supposed to be broke?

ASH: Okay, whatever.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Breaksgiving

Note: This was about a year after we started dating. This conversation went on for about a week until right before I left for home for Thanksgiving.

ASH: *On the phone* Yeah mom, I'm fine. . . . Uh-huh. . . . I don't know if I'm coming over, it depends on if Mimi wants me to go home with her. . . .Okay talk to you later.

ME: What was that about?

ASH: Oh she just wanted to know if I was coming for Thanksgiving.

ME: Aren't you?

ASH: Well I didn't know if you wanted me to go home with you.

ME: If I did I would have invited you.

ASH: Well, do you?

ME: Why don't you just go home and be with your family.?

ASH: What, you don't want me to go home with you?

ME: It's not that, I just think you would be more comfortable at home.

ASH: So what I'm not good enough.

ME: No, but you hated the last two times I brought you home so wouldn't you rather stay here?

ASH: So do you want me to come or not?

ME: What did I just say!?

ASH: I just need you to give me an answer, make up your mind.

ME: Ugh, just . . . whatever. *leaves*

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Let me chuck this pumpkin at your face

Note: My ex loved to point out how un-domestic I was and that I did not know how to cook or bake shit. So around Thanksgiving one year my roommate helped me bake a pumpkin pie for him since he told me how much he loved it.

ME: So did you try the pie?

ASH: Yeah.

ME: And?

ASH: It was too pumpkiny.

ME: . . . It's a pumpkin pie.

ASH: Yeah but it didn't taste right, not like how Joe's mom makes it.

ME: We substituted more pumpkin puree instead of butter to make it healthier for you since you always complain about being healthy.

ASH: Yeah that's why it didn't taste right, you probably shouldn't bake with Faith anymore, she does that shit all the time.

ME: So what are you not going to eat the rest of it?

ASH: I dunno . . . Probably not.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Seriously?

Hey everyone, sorry I didn't post last week. I just wasn't feeling inspired. So this week we get two posts to make up for it.

ME: So how was seeing your family for the holidays?

ASH: Okay I guess. My mom came down to visit. She brought her dog with her.

ME: Oh really?

ASH: Yeah, she's a freakin beautiful dog. I just love her.

ME: That's nice.

ASH: But there was this one point she walked up to me and wanted me to pet her. She backed up into my leg and I was rubbing her back, I'm sure someone looked like I was doing something nasty.

ME: . . . Are . . are you implying that it looked like you were f***ing the dog?

ASH: That's probably what it looked like to somebody.

ME: Only you would think that's what it looked like.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Blue Halloween

Note: This was our second Halloween together and we were at a Halloween party with some of his friends.

ASH: Hey, Joe and I are gonna go back to my apartment and play some games.

ME: Okay, I better get back to my apartment anyway. Faith's probably waiting on me so we can go to the Halloween Ball.

ASH: Uh, actually, could you keep Joe's girlfriend company?

ME: What, she's not coming with you guys?

ASH: Well it's kinda like a guys' thing and we don't really want her there. She probably wouldn't want to come anyway.

ME: Okay, so why don't you take her home?

ASH: That would be a waste of time.

ME: Well I already promised Faith I would go with her, I've been looking forward to it all week.

ASH: Take her with you.

ME: I hardly know her.

JOE: Hey guys it's okay, I'm just gonna take her home and come back.

ME: Oh, okay. Thanks. I probably should get going anyway.

ASH: Call me when you get there.

ME: . . . No.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

The Internet is for Prawn

*This was his typical reply when I told him about a show, movie, cartoon, whatever that I was interested in that he had never seen before*

ASH: Oh, I saw a pr0n video someone made about that once.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Violence Through Words Is Still Violence – And This Stirring Response to Emotional Abuse Will Show You Why

Ever had someone (even a survivor) refuse to call violence that's not physical “abuse?” This woman's story leaves no doubt that it is.

Hey guys, sorry no post this week I’m feeling kinda down at the moment. Here is another article I found that I wish I had read when I was stuck in this relationship. Hopefully it helps someone else.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Just Stop

*We were listening to Don't Stop Believin' by Journey and singing along*

ME: Just a city Boy!

ASH: lol you're voice just cracked.

ME: *stops* No it didn't.

ASH: Yeah, it did, on that last line.

ME: No it didn't. I glided on the note a bit, but my voice didn't crack.

ASH: No, it totally did.

ME: I had over 10 years of professional vocal training, I'm pretty sure I would know if my voice cracked.

ASH: lol whatever.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

That'll be £20 more

ME: I think I should start working out more.

ASH: Why?

ME: Cause I need to put on weight. I already know that eating junk food doesn't work and I can't eat more food because I've always had digestion issues.

ASH: You don't need to put on weight.

ME: Yes, I do. I was really unhealthily underweight as a child and I still feel that I'm too thin. Ideally I have always had a goal weight of 120 pounds.

ASH: That's not a realistically healthy weight. Do you know how fat 120lb women are?

ME: Uh, about average, as in not fat.

ASH: No, they're fat. Here, let's run a Google search for "120 pound woman."

ME: Okay that's not a clear indicator of weight, obesity, or physical makeup. You have to consider height, distribution of weight, body fat, genetics, and a whole lot of other things.

ASH: Look, these women are huge. You don't want to be 120 pounds. You don't have to worry about gaining weight.

ME: Yeah, what about you? Aren't you always saying you want to get more muscles (though you never do anything to get them).

ASH: Yeah, but I'm a guy. Girls need to be soft and you can't be that way with muscles.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

IHOP you are joking

ASH: Hey, don't eat those pancakes.

ME: Why?

ASH: You should eat all of your eggs first.

ME: But I don't want any more eggs.

ASH: Well you can't have all of that sugar until you've eaten your protein.

ME: But if I eat the eggs, I won't have room for the pancakes.

ASH: Good, you don't need them.

ME: But that's a waste of food! And besides I'm the one paying for this so I can eat them if I want.

ASH: That's not fair, you know I don't have the extra money to pay for this.

ME: I'm not telling you to pay for this, I'm telling you to stop telling me how to eat my food.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Is this home?

ME: Hey, I just got off the phone with my mom and I gotta go home this weekend.

ASH: What, why?

ME: Because my prescription just got filled and I need to pick it up.

ASH: But do you have to go this weekend?

ME: Yes, because I'm almost out of medicine and I can't make it another week.

ASH: But what am I gonna do?

ME: You wanna come with me?

ASH: No, I want you to stay here.

ME: I already told you I can't.

ASH: Hmf, whatever.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Job, well none

ME: I don't know how I'm gonna find a job once I graduate.

ASH: You don't need a job, I'll take care of you.

ME: But I want a job.

ASH: No it's okay I've got a job, you don't need to work.

ME: But I want to.

ASH: Don't worry I've got money I'll take care of you.

ME: No, but if I don't have a job I will go insane. I'm not wasting all this time and money on my degree only to not use it. I want a job after I graduate.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Jealousee

*We were both in the same creative writing class. We were fighting with each other so he decided the best revenge was to read my short story in front of me (I am insecure about a lot of things and this especially includes my writing).

ASH: *suddenly* Awwww, that's the kind of guy you like.

ME: What?

ASH: In your story.

ME: Oh, no all of that is based off of an experience in high school but elaborated and fantasized.

ASH: Hmmmm, so this is the type of guy you want?

ME: No, he is based on a figment of my imagination. He's basically a ghost.

ASH: But he's nothing like me.

ME: He's not supposed to be. I came up with this story back in high school and just now wrote it down. He's not based on any one person.

ASH: Okay . . . I don't really get it but okay.

[stuffmyinsanexsaid]

Take care of Tara when I'm gone.

Note: This conversation happened shortly after we broke up but remained friends.

ME: I guess I'll probably go to graduate school when I'm finished with undergrad.

ASH: Okay.

ME: I'm thinking about going to XU, but maybe I'll stay here.

ASH: Well you should stay here.

ME: But what if I really want to go there instead?

ASH: Just stay here it'll be easier.

ME: Yeah but I would have to stay in the English program here, I'm not going to XU for an English degree.

ASH: Then what for?

ME: Information Science.

ASH: Why do you need to go there to get that degree?

ME: Because it's the only school in the state that offers it.

ASH: You don't need a degree for that, my aunt does that for a living and she never when to grad school.

ME: Well I would need it for other jobs, not just what your aunt does, and I also really want it.

ASH: Just stay here, you can live with me. I have a job, I'll take care of you.

ME: 1. We're not dating not are we married. 2. I don't want to live with you. 3. Don't you want me to follow my dreams?

ASH: I want you to stay with me.

ME: BUT WE'RE NOT TOGETHER AND THIS I MY LIFE!

ASH: Just.. stay here.