i'm witnessing the public cancellation of a certain popular artist who likes to draw jinx and do commissions except when it's my friend's commission and she pays her $110 usd and not only she doesn't hear from her nor the drawings in 4-5 months but she also gets BLOCKED from this artist's account in both tumblr and twitter.
@sketch303 pathological liar either give her the money back or drop the fucking drawings
summary: you're not sure kissing lessons require to have her straddling your lap, but you're not complaining.
cw! suggestive making out silly girls slight comphet but much more lesbianism
men dni. 1,4k wc. no proofread!
jinx is known by all kinds of mischief.
purposefully adding chemicals to whatever experiment it's happening in science in hopes it'd explode? yes, that's not weird. trespassing private property up in piltover to vandalize a pretty wall? color me shocked! she's been caught shoplifting random stuff even though her father gives her money everyday? that's been confirmed for ages.
but when your friends suggest you take kissing lessons with her, you think they're just messing with you. because how so jinx has been teaching girls how to kiss for $150 per class since freshman year and that wasn't talked about?
you understand later on, they're trying to keep it as secretive as possible for "confidentiality". you're thankful for that, though you don't really trust her when she opens the door with a full-grin on her face.
"you're my 4:30?" she hums, taking a good look at your fidgeting self.
"yeah, uh—"
"you're late, c'mon."
she walks inside without letting you react. you stumble behind her, flipping off your friend, who's watching from the other side of the street with an amused smile, before closing the front door.
she leads you to her room, upstairs. it's obvious how comfortable she is in her own home, wearing such light, tiny shorts... you're not judging! but it's kinda hard to keep your eyes off her while walking right behind her. she barely glances at you over her shoulder, uninterested.
"experience?"
"uhm, the basics?"
"so you've kissed before?"
she sits on the edge of the bed, patting the spot next to her in invitation. her room is a mess, but the endearing type; you particularly eye the sketches hardly sticking to the wall right on top of her desk, they're cute and carefully planned, for her future gadgets, you assume.
you can barely grasp on the fact that you're in the jinx's bedroom. it feels like yesterday when she threw sand at your face because you interrupted her imaginary adventure of killing a big bad dragon.
but that was years ago, and she probably doesn't even remember that. throwing sand at kids was a daily occurrence for her.
"no, not really..." she raises an eyebrow at your answer. "kissing the back of your hand doesn't count?"
you managed to make her laugh, at least. even though it sounded more like a sarcastic scoff than actual amusement.
"no. we have 26 minutes before my next appointment, so i'm gonna kiss you and see how much i gotta work with you, got it?"
you nod, gulping and licking your lips out of nervousness. she's so businesslike, it's making the whole thing more awkward for you.
she's experienced, obviously. she holds your face with confidence, eyeing your lips before kissing you briefly. your breath hitches and you stay still, letting her test you yet not really responding.
she pulls back, humming. "you're too tense, calm down, i'm not gonna bite you.. yet."
"huh?" you blink at her but she ignores you.
"try to copy me."
you're not as surprised when she closes the gap again. this time she moves, slowly and gentle, coaxing you to follow suit, sucking her plump bottom lip. it wasn't hard like you had thought, in fact you grew used to the feeling rather quickly.
jinx seemed pleased to see how fast you caught on, her head tilting a little to deepen it slightly. your fingers clench on your lap, and you break the kiss for a moment.
"w-where do i put my hands?" you breath against her lips. she settles them on her own waist without hesitation before cupping your face again, it was easier for her to control the kiss like that.
"don't get too handsy, you can squeeze but keep 'em there." you nod at her words, wordlessly leaning forward. she dodges your attempt, smirking.
well, that's embarrassing. your cheeks flush red as you look at her with wide, confused eyes.
"i kiss you." she says lowly.
this is ridiculous. why did you accept doing this to begin with? you didn't even like him that much. that boy who asked you was just luckily handsome enough for your friends to gush over, convincing you that he's all you'd want for a boyfriend.
they couldn't have your mouth slobbering over his lips if he were to end the night with a kiss, hence...
jinx kisses you again, and you're sure you know your way by now. though the light nips on your bottom lip are new, they're not unwelcome. as she manages to make you gasp and part your lips, she slipped her tongue inside your mouth. the corner of her lips tug in amusement.
you really went over the mint pills, huh?
she does appreciate it, humming into the kiss. she likes the way you follow her movements, the way your fingers close around the soft curve of her waist. there's just something different in kissing you. you even mimic her hum, vocal cords trembling delicately.
you're shy, you're nervous. but you're doing it anyway, and you actually like it. it's obvious in the way you leaned into her as she pulls back, unconsciously wanting more.
"you're doing good..." she purred, licking her lips as if to savor the moment.
"yeah?"
she mirrors your smile, finding you quite adorable. "yeah, real good. want to level up, pretty?"
you shiver in anticipation, mumbling your agreement. she glances at the digital clock on top of a drawer—19 minutes, you're on time thanks to being naturally skilled.
jinx asks you to open your mouth, and wastes no second in diving her tongue back into your mouth. you audibly moan at the sudden intrusion, but it's oh so welcomed when she kisses you so sweetly and deep.
you didn't even know you would be so responsive. she doesn't seem to mind, even though you're doing exactly what she said not to and cling onto her the more she kissed you. your hands were gripping her waist, tugging her closer as you lean forward, instinctively erasing every inch of space between your bodies.
if she cared, she wouldn't be sliding her fingers into your hair, tugging on it while picking up the pace. she was growing uncharacteristically eager, not that you knew the difference between this and her usual work.
her lips were relentless, the wet smacking sound almost echoing in your ears. was it usual for things to get this heated?
she suddenly broke the contact, earning a soft whine from you.
"shit-" jinx hisses, moving a leg across your lap to settle there without warning. her weight on your thighs felt dangerously nice.
she threw her head back for a moment, as if pondering. you'd naturally get worried, if you weren't so worked up.
you lean forward, brushing your nose up her throat to kiss her chin. your hands holding her waist so dearly, she smelled so good you thought you could just bury your face in the crook of her neck and stay there forever. no words were needed, jinx gazed down at you with pupils dilated enough to make you sigh.
making out was part of the lessons description, indeed. this proximity and connection... not really.
the room feels hotter, hands start wandering. she moans approvingly against your mouth when you grab her hips and tug her impossibly closer. her nails scratch your nape while directing your head to her liking. it was the little control jinx had left, as this was getting out of hand.
the kiss was messy and wet, seemingly endless. there was hardly any breaks to breathe, if whimpering while she bit and pulled at your lip with her teeth counted at all.
who knows how far this would've gone if jinx's phone didn't abruptly ring when her tongue was practically down your throat.
"my 5 o'clock..." she panted softly, wiping her mouth and chin with the back of her hand as she took in your dazed expression. "we're done for today." she swiftly lifted off your lap, trying to act composed as if she wasn't about to start grinding against you just seconds ago.
"oh, um– okay," you nodded, dumbfounded. you're unaware of the smudged dark lipstick on your face, even watching her retouch hers in her vanity. "did i.. like, pass?"
"hm?" she turned at you, smacking her lips a few times. "oh, no. there's a lot more to cover, you're not that good." she lies shamelessly. "i don't usually work on thursdays, but we need to fix the uh– teeth clacking. you have a date this weekend, you said?"
you blush, "yep, i do."
she hummed, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "yeah, well, you gotta practice. come by tomorrow, we won't be interrupted."
you miss her mischievous smile as she ushered you outside. there's a girl waiting in her porch, but jinx doesn't pay her any mind as she lets her hand linger on your lower back.
all business, of course.
i had a vision.. it didn't come out how i wanted WHATEVER
summary: "honestly you've raised my standards, if she won't be willing to do all of this to save me, i don't want her."
cw! angst hurt/comfort slice of life? unrequited love failed friends to lovers self-deprecation jealousy unclear feelings
men dni. 3.6k wc.
you've been warned, you've been told it wasn't worth it. deep down you knew it wasn't the best idea, that a situation like this could easily backfire, and instead of saving her, you get hurt.
friend group fallouts happen all the time, "it's part of the fun" she'd say once. you're a fool to think they'd be around forever, maybe that's why it hit you so hard when it when downhill so quickly.
"have you been talking shit about me?"
sharp, quick, demanding.
"what? no," you paused, going back to the times you've talked about this girl, usually good things.
what was supposed to be a private conversation caused a series of uncomfortable intern events.
she said, he said, i said.
> hey, i'm really sorry about what happened. i didn't mean to offend you, not at all. i know i'm in the wrong for assuming i could joke about that, i genuinely apologize! i have to tell you i love being friends with you and i've never thought you're anything less than an amazing person. i do understand if you don't want to accept my apologies, i find it sad things ended so abruptly and in such bad terms.
delivered.
she offered comfort, jinx, oh so empathetic with you. they all ditched you, but her.
how easy it was to forget it was her who opened her mouth first.
"you're better off without them," she reassured you, looking so unaffected. "they suck. you won't believe the things they've been doing—"
"i don't… i know i asked first but i think it's better if we just don't talk about them anymore." you hesitated, not speaking your actual thoughts.
why hasn't she dropped them? if they're so lame, so annoying to hang out with, why is she still friends with them? does she not deserve to have healthy relationships, too?
you don't say that to her. must be so uncomfortable to be in the middle of this dumb fight, having to comfort you while staying in good terms with the people who claimed that you're such a two faced bitch. you were trying so hard to downplay the situation; questioning her decision to keep strings with them would only fuel the allegations against you.
wouldn't it?
it was quite the low blow when you opened up to jinx, feeling uncomfortable about a certain someone. often comparing yourself to them; prettier, more talented, more popular, more productive, more confident. you knew it was stupid, all in your head.
jinx befriended them the very next day.
it wasn't her fault. right? this person approached her first, jinx was only being nice. too nice—no, she doesn't owe you anything. you're not a possessive, controlling person. she can befriend whoever she wants. even if it hurts you.
you questioned yourself day and night. what if they're right? you shouldn't have made such an insensitive comment, you should've reacted differently… but you apologized for it, right? genuinely so. were they right to reach out to random people you've had disagreements with in the past, bringing them to the group to make assumptions about you?
god, it was beyond upsetting.
childish, you concluded. you tried to fix things, numerous times. surely something else was going on, maybe they never liked you to begin with, if such a small misunderstanding drove them to cut ties without warning and start talking shit about you to everyone you've had a minimal interaction with.
"be careful with her." they said. "she's not a good person."
you believed it.
but that couldn't be true, because jinx still hung around. she defended you.
at least she said so.
jinx was so special to you. she's charismatic, charming. easy to talk with, easy to listen. easily the most likeable person you've ever met.
you tend to fall quick, but never this hard.
you two became friends not long ago, yet it had blossomed into a beautiful connection almost without effort; she has trusted you with so much about her past and how it formed her to the person she is today. you know you're not a savior, you thought you just wanted to serve her as a safe space like she is to you.
but your feelings for her are strong and not as subtle as you think.
she doesn't seem to mind, though. does it feed her ego, or does she truly enjoy your affection? it feels wrong to ask for reciprocity. she doesn't have time for that.
even if your interactions aren't entirely friendly, her own sister had asked her if you were her girlfriend; it only fueled your growing interest, over-complicating your thoughts about how to proceed.
"mm! baby," you grimaced, trying not to offend her at the same time you struggle to swallow. "this is…not it. sorry."
"what?! i followed the recipe!"
"i have no idea what you did here but–" you chuckled at her pouty expression, reaching to grab her hand affectionately. "cooking is like that, sometimes! it'll come out much better next time. surely."
she's not upset with you, she's upset with the results of her little experiment. she had meant for this small cake to be for you, for being your lovely self to her every day without expecting anything in return.
but she can't say she hates this. god, you drive her crazy, just sitting there both amused and empathetic with her frustration, cheering her up with some words and touches. soon a smile breaks between her huffs and puffs, letting you pull her closer for your arms to wrap around her with familiarity.
"how about we go downtown and get more ingredients? we'll try it together. or we can just buy a cake, if you're having a sweet-tooth right now."
"it's not the same…" jinx whines, burying her face in the crook of your neck.
"why not—?"
"because!"
you sigh at her lack of explanation. you have a few ideas on why she wanted this cake to turn out perfect at her first try. could be her perfectionism, as she's often disappointed with herself when she doesn't naturally do something right.
but this wasn't quite it, you sensed.
she's always so mysterious about her feelings and intentions behind her actions, leaving you to guess and figure her out on your own. you usually don't like to assume, or think too much about it because you can feel a bit delusional—you're just trying to understand her with very little resources, after all. following your instincts, observing and putting a motive behind her behavior, specially towards you.
it had nothing to do with your own crush on her! of course not. it was all in a friendly way. you just want what's best for her.
you keep saying that to yourself. jinx is still trying to make sense of her feelings for you.
"i saw you in the kitchen," you spoke up after a few moments, still holding her in your lap where she had curled up after watching you wince at the taste of her failure of a cake. "i know you tried hard, baby. it was really good for a first time."
"but you didn't like it." she mumbled, just making a point to your suspicions.
she did it for you.
it has to mean something… right?
"i'm sorry about that." you genuinely apologize, squeezing her just a tad bit tighter. "i want to make it up to you. i'll make dinner tonight, hm?"
jinx made a small sound of disagreement. "you're always doing things for me… it was supposed to be other way around for once."
"i don't do anything expecting something in return." you're quick to say, making her pull back from your neck to look at her face. she's still pouty, cheeks slightly flushed from the closeness and the warmth of your body, all big eyes on you. you get flustered. "because– uh, 'cause i care. for you, i love you, obviously."
it brings out a little smile on her face, seeing you fumble with your words just because you've made eye contact.
"i love you, too." there's a beautiful softness in her voice when she murmurs that to you. as far as you know, only reserved for you. she kisses your cheek and it turns into fire, or so you feel like it. "but it's not fair! i want to– give you something back."
you roll your eyes. she's slightly slipping off your lap and you pull her back with little effort.
"that's not how it works. you just keep being yourself, that's all i need."
"ugh," she whined jokingly.
she ended up agreeing to go out with you. for food, of course. she grabbed her own money, but it was just expected for you to pay.
you spoil her too much, she noticed. it was hard to ignore how smitten you were for her. but she doesn't complain, she could never complain. it made her feel special, that was the point.
she's been through so much. how could you not baby her? such a pretty face only deserves the best.
but you fool yourself into believing you don't want more. god, you might as well kill and die for her. of course you would do anything to close the gap between you two. to feel her curves under your palms more intimately, to brush your lips over the tender pale skin of her jaw and neck. wouldn't she look lovely with hickeys? a bunch of idiots would back off if they saw how close you two truly are.
but that's unrealistic. and you settle with intertwining your hand with hers when you walk downtown.
she's not as moody anymore. she's even dolled up for this simple grocery shopping. people watch, stare at her. you grip her hand a little, keeping your attention on her as she rambles on whatever comes to her mind. you don't miss the way she frowns lightly before putting on a bright, excited smile.
"great." you muttered to yourself as, naturally, jinx waves at a group of people who were sitting not so far.
her hand slips away from yours a little too soon for your liking. it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. and you just know.
"i'm gonna go say hi real quick." she says to you, already taking a few steps.
"the store will close soon," you speak before you can stop yourself. it's early, of course it won't close soon. "why don't you just text them later?" your tone is lighthearted, anyone could miss the tinge of jealousy.
anyone but jinx.
"we text everyday." she watches closely the way your lip twitches in annoyance at her words, almost wanting to form a scowl. "they'll say something if i don't go right now."
"so what?"
"so i don't… want them to think i'm ditching them…"
"it's only fair. they ditched me."
"just—" she sighs, her eyes begging for your understanding. "i'll say hi to them."
you sigh too. "i'll go sit at the bench."
she wants to squeak and wrap her arms around you and kiss your cheek. you're so… but she doesn't, because they're watching. she just smiles at you and jogs to them.
you don't want to look their way too much, attempting to appear uninterested.
as if you don't stay up at night wondering if something's wrong with you, if you could've done something different.
it wasn't worth it, you determined not long ago. you tried—really tried—to fix the situation, to talk things out. it's clear that things have changed, they simply don't like you anymore. and you would be fine with that, if the way they cut you off wasn't so sudden and rude, if they didn't try to warn other people about you as if you're some evil bitch—
you were already sulking in your spot as thoughts spiraled in your mind, unaware of the girl who pulled away from your ex-friends' group to approach you.
"hey! are you okay?"
you lifted you head, instantly taking notice of how pretty she is. "yeah, yes, i'm alright." you smiled casually, "i was just, um, thinking."
"i've noticed." she giggled, taking a seat next to you. she wasn't really close, but you caught on the way she looked at you.
she says her name, compliments your outfit. she's friendly, slightly flirty, and you entertain her. the attention is nice, you find her attractive too. jinx comes to your mind, but you brush it off—you're not her girlfriend, that very much was stated.
inadvertently, the conversation prolonged around fifteen minutes. jinx hasn't came back, and you enjoy yourself engaging with this girl. not in a 'i want to date her' way, but in a 'this is better than glooming about the past' way.
jinx doesn't see that. she sees you smile and flutter your lashes at a pretty girl who happened to be friend with her friends. had she not been updated? you're not one to trust. not that jinx supports the ridiculous allegation… they know how close you and jinx are, and yes it's been giving her trouble, as they continued to insist that she'll only end up disappointed if she keeps hanging out with you. but she's been handling it.
until she sees what your behavior is when she's not by your side. is that all it takes for you to replace her? fifteen fucking minutes, and you're already flirting with another girl?
she's stomping towards you before she realizes, clearing her throat obnoxiously loud to interrupt the interesting conversation.
"jinx," you stand up, the girl mirroring you. "finally. i was talking with-" you look over at the girl, who eyes you and jinx curiously. god, you're bad with names. "she's studying at the academy, the same as you. we were talking about this teacher you said liked to draw–"
"the store is going to close." she interrupted, not bothering to spare the girl a glance. she's seen enough.
"oh. right, the store." her voice is a dead giveaway to her mood, if not her tense body, or the way she's glaring at you. you turned at the girl, who's smiling in anticipated understanding. "sorry, we're in a hurry. i'll see you around."
"sure, you have my number." jinx winces, you hear the small scoff coming from her lips. "bye girls."
jinx doesn't waste another second to pull you out of the plaza, grip tight on your forearm as she drags you to the store.
"she's pretty." she notes, petulantly. "isn't she?"
you look at her, sensing some kind of test thrown your way. you could lie to her, and then have her upset because she can and will tell if you're lying. or you could be honest, an actual trait of yours.
"she is." you clear your throat, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. "it's funny, the way she approached me. she liked my hair—"
she stops in her tracks, blurting: "are you into her?"
"what?"
"are you into her?" she repeats, studying your confused, widened eyes.
it takes you a moment. you're not sure where she's coming from.
"what- uh… does it matter?"
"just answer the question!"
"you're upset." you vocalize the obvious. "i literally just met her."
she looks at you unimpressed, but there's just something deeper about the confrontation, you can't quite grasp on it.
"jinx, you were over there talking with those—" clear aversion drips from your voice when you talk about them.
"so you replace me in a heartbeat?" she speaks quickly, like her mouth runs faster than her mind.
"what are you talking about?" you sigh, starting to frown. "do i really have to remind you that you keep rejecting my advances because you're not 'certain' about your feelings?"
she grunts, looks away, but the moodiness stays. "just answer the question."
"i'm literally crazy for you."
"that's not a no."
"i do find her pretty and interesting," you finally admit, frustrated. "but i am not going to pursue her, jinx. i want you."
she dejected, as if you're not confessing your love to her, for the millionth time.
"so she's interesting, likes you back and she's probably easier to deal with, too." she states as a fact, voice dark and gloomy. she doesn't give you the chance to call out on the absurdity of her words before she's walking away, shoulder checking you.
"jinx- jinx, don't leave like that." you try to catch her steps, but she's decided to ignore you. "jinx, baby."
the petname usually works on her, she had melt in your arms numerous times whenever it slipped your lips like honey. you know she's serious when she continues to walk away, so you stop calling, but you don't stop following her.
your stuff is at her place, anyway.
the first thing she does when she gets home is throw to the trash the rest of the cake she had cooked for you earlier. you flinch, your heart squeezes in your chest. it was that bad, huh?
"i'm not leaving until we talk." you say as calmly as possible, trailing behind her to pick up the things she dropped on the floor. she doesn't reply, instead it seems like she's trying to find things to do. very aggressively so.
you've seen her like this before. upset, full of boiling feelings in a delicate mindset, ready to snap. but you've never been the one who caused it, and you didn't quite know what to do.
staying in her place might've not been the best choice. you realized, she probably needs time to process. but you were still feeling panicky. what if she does calm down and decides you're not worthy? the situation is so unclear and messy, you're not sure she understands just how important she is to you. that's what drives you to linger around, the hours stretching agonizingly.
she looks at you from time to time, her expression unreadable. she's simply a whirlwind of intense emotions. it's chaotic, unpredictable. almost uncomfortable to witness as you don't know if she's going to attack you at any moment now. but she stops pacing back and forth and sits on the worn out couch, arms crossed and lips pouting like a petulant child.
tentatively, you approach her, kneeling in front of her, forcing yourself on her sight.
"talk to me," you dare to speak, quiet, almost pleading. "tell me what's in your mind, how can i fix it?"
she stays silent, her eyes not staying in yours for too long as they wander off and back. her pale skin is flushed. embarrassment? anger?
anything but indifference.
you reach to grab her hand, which she allows, so you continue. "i'm trying, jinx… you're making it so hard to understand you. we communicate, remember? we talk things through to make this work."
"you don't get it…" she finally said, her whisper scratching against her vocal chords.
"i want to."
you barely give her time, space. you shift, moving to sit next to her with her hand in yours.
"you're making me nervous, jinx… please say something."
"you don't want me." your heart not only beats fast, it also clenches when you grasp on the pain in her voice. she's convinced. "just leave already. text her and ask her out, she'll probably make a better cake for you."
"stop saying that- goddamnit, jinx, can't you feel it?"
you raise her hand, placing it over your speeding, bloody organ. there's a light recognition in her eyes, they widen slightly and shine with something else than resentment.
the silence that follows is loud. she does not make a move to pull her hand off your chest, her fingers do twitch and her long nails barely graze your skin. your hand covering hers is warm, protective. she can feel it, she feels it all too deeply.
"i don't…" her voice is low, strained as if she's forcing them out. "i can't- i don't know what to do with myself." poor thing, you think, your free hand is quick to brush away the gentle tear that fell down her chubby cheek. "it's so… i just, i thought you'd leave me. i thought you decided i'm not… that i'm not good enough."
"i will never leave you." you say instantly, a fact you've learned a long time ago.
"you're just saying that."
"i've never been more serious."
her pout deepened, she pressed her palm to feel more of your heart, like it soothes her.
"why?"
it's such a simple question. you suck at simple questions, because the answer is always much more complex. but this one? you've mastered it. you had answered this many times during many dark nights, those in which your feelings went through so deeply you didn't know what to do with yourself.
"because i love you."
easy, but the way you said it, the way your eyes are fixed on her and only her, it proved her you're not bullshitting.
> "because you're the softest girl i've known, admit it or not. despite everything, you're still here, fighting." your voice is gentle, with no rush behind. "smart and talented like no other, there's nothing you can't do if you set your mind to it. it fills me with pride and joy whenever you succeed in something, anything. because you're on the top on my list of what i'm grateful for, just being here, by your side… i must be out of my mind to throw all that away."
she had slowly relaxed in your arms, with little-to-no reluctance leaning into your caress. her head settled in your chest, seeking the now tenderized palpitation of your loving heart.
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
gummygunk
kianamaiart
amandla
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pixelskylines
