thinking about frank iero and imposter syndrome (shoutout to an mcrsecrets anon who gave me feeeeelings). thinking about how he didn’t think he really belonged in his band until he wrote the chorus to helena and even now he’ll still make light of the relief he must have felt in that moment by saying things like “alright no one’s gonna throw me out!” thinking about him feeling like he’s surrounded by musicians better than him, that he “had to get better.” thinking about how the magnitude of fan growth/arena shows of the black parade caused him so much anxiety he had to start medicating it and doesn’t remember playing a lot of those shows. thinking about him saying things like “we got to a level where i felt like maybe i didn’t belong and that people would uncover that i shouldn’t be there.” thinking about him writing lines like “i never saw what you saw in me” and “i tried my best to be good enough” and “i crack under pressure of always feeling guilty of never pleasing anyone” and “i never thought that i could be happy i just know i can’t admit i’m not” and “even though i wanted to i never had much fun that i know” thinking about how his response to someone saying “why are you nervous this is the only thing you’re good at?” was “but also what if you’re not good at it? then you have nothing else.” thinking about him saying the reason he makes music is “i have to. it’s like breathing. i can’t not.” just. thinking of frank iero and how he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough but he does it anyway because he has to. and how that means pretty much everything to me.
