D

39-LOUD BARK, DEEP BITE.

[stupidmansuit7]

Big mood today

[stupidmansuit7]

Not my Dad just casually dropping in conversation that he was lowered, by helicopter into another helicopter wreckage, complete with mangled corpses, when he was a marine, and had to stand guard with the remnants overnight....

He told me about the time his fellow helicopter mechanic removed an enormous bolt he shouldn't have, while my dad had stepped away for the appropriate tool, and his coworker was crushed to death under the chopper. He told me about the time he was a younger, driving with my Grandpa, and they watched a small, single passenger plane crash in a nearby field. My Dad and Grandpa pulled him from the wreckage, and lifted the man into the bed of Grandpa's truck. He'll never forget the smell of burnt skin, and the way the man's eyes were blinding white in comparison to the charred flesh, he says.

I recounted these other two incidents, and he also casually drops that he's seen far, far worse over the years. I shudder to think what else he's been witness to that he's never felt comfortable telling me about. 😬

I've always known my Dad is a bad ass, but my goodness!

[stupidmansuit7]

Sometimes, I pretend that my anxiety is managed appropriately with exercise and fresh air...

Other times (ie today!!!), I have a panic attack in the mall....and I'm quickly reminded that I've not "outgrown" my anxiety at all.

😬

[stupidmansuit7]

how silly are you?

As silly as warranted on any given occasion.

[stupidmansuit7]

I'm fuckin' doin' it...slowly, but surely. Richard Simmons would be proud.

[stupidmansuit7]

Heyyyyyyy who is paralyzed by nostalgia this evening??!!!

Found some old mixed CD's I made in high school and holy fuckin' shit.

[stupidmansuit7]

I went skating with two beautiful, former crushes last night. T'was lovely. The pharmacy fuck boi's coworker, and my psych RN friend.

[stupidmansuit7]

[stupidmansuit7]

I just wanna be big and strong like Bane. Why is it taking so long??!!!😭

[stupidmansuit7]

Snippets from the canyon today!

[stupidmansuit7]

I haven't been myself for about two weeks, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it still sucked. I know why I spiraled, I know what the root of the problem is...but it's been so damn difficult to pull myself out, till today.

Said fuck it, threw on some U2 and headed to my favorite mountain range. I climbed over logs, walked through empty creek beds, sat on rocks, examined rocks, literally hugged a tree, I sat in the dirt, savored each caress of wind, let the sun soak into my skin, I popped a squat for a wicked long piss. I also gazed at the sky, watched trees sway in the breeze, listened to the cicadas, ate a fat sandwich, watched birds.

I should have reconnected with earth sooner, but battling some health bullshit on top of the mental bullshit made me less than inclined to head out there. Grateful that I even had the opportunity to go today, and glad to be out of that mental funk!!!

[stupidmansuit7]

The Human League - Love Action (Official Video Release HD)

[stupidmansuit7]

why are you so cute?? 💕

🥲 d'awwww that's sweet. Thank you. 🤍

[stupidmansuit7]

I might have been paid the highest compliment today?

Went along on a field trip with my kiddos, each of us was assigned a small group of students. Gathered up my group and we're walking down the road, one of the girls in my group says:

"I'm glad I'm in your group! My mom told me to cross my fingers and hope to end up in your group, cause you're the only one she trusts."

🥹 😭

[stupidmansuit7]

A DAY IN THE MALL, 1991 // Mallsoft Vaporwave VHS Nostalgia Mix

#vaporwave #mallsoft #90s A DAY IN THE MALL, 1991 // Mallsoft Vaporwave VHS Nostalgia Mix — Experience the warm, everyday atmosphere of a sh

Do y'all remember just how amazing the mall used to be? We could spend an entire day in the mall.... *le sigh*

[stupidmansuit7]

My gynecological exam included stripping down, but leaving the white scrunch socks and classic chuck taylors ON.

If I'm gonna feel awkward and uncomfortable, everyone else in the room is gonna be awkward and uncomfortable right along with me.

[stupidmansuit7]

I posted up on a random rock to cool down after my skate session. A man in a truck pulled up in front of me, when there's no parking or anything that could be confused for a good place to pull over.

Internal monologue: Here we go, hold your ground, fight like hell, be prepared to ditch the crocs cause they're not in sport mode, you're better off without them.

He gets out of the truck.

I brace for whatever is coming.

"Are you ok?"

🥲

Told him I was ok, he nodded and drove off after a kind wave.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that there are still so many good people in the world, so many people willing to help, and I dare not elaborate any further for fear of crying.