— includes: smut with plot, switch!chris, switch!reader, cursing, a few uses of y/n, mention of weed and alcohol, dirty talk, thigh humping, unprotected p in v, riding, public sex, almost getting caught — english isn't my first language.
chris is cocky and persistent, all about getting what he wants until he accidentally runs into you at a party. your sarcastic attitude, and the way you refuse to fall for his charm, is both incredibly hot and frustrating- challenging him in ways he never experienced before.
previous part. | wc: 13k
you had always been the kind of person who did exactly what you swore you wouldn’t do.
going back to an ex after a fight, even when every word that came out of his mouth made you hate him more. promising yourself as a child you'd never let a boy get too close— only to end up with someone hurting you anyway.
it was like this constant contradiction living in your chest. trying so hard to protect yourself, to build walls so high no one could climb them, just to be the one opening the gates.
but you could also spend hours thinking of someone yet never speak to them again— they'd be out of your life in a second, like they never existed and you couldn't care less.
it happened with your ex and everyone who crossed the line. they never heard from you again.
and you told yourself the same thing about chris.
right now, it was simple— just sex. getting yourself off, taking what you wanted and goodbye. you swore that if you ever start even tolerating him a little more as a person, you'll distance yourself.
and here you are anyway.
sitting at the beach, bonfire crackling in front of you, his friends and some random people scattered around on the sand, a few girls laughing by the water. how'd you end up here? no idea. he just mentioned something about the beach while you two were texting and as someone who loves water, you just could not go.
you had to admit— you liked the attention. it was nice having someone who's attracted to you and makes sure you know it. it's been a while since you had it, 'cause after your breakup you didn't want to be even in a talking stage with anyone. technically this isn't even a talking stage, so that's why it feels good to you. no one is expecting anything.
you'd shifted closer to the fire, knees tucked to your chest, beer bottle dangling between your fingers. nick was sitting beside you, mid story, gesturing with his hands.
“...and this idiot,” nick jabbed a thumb towards chris, who was lounging on your other side, “he used to be terrified of the dark. he had to sleep with a night light or he'd come sleep with me. or matt."
your eyebrows shot up, eyes wide before you broke out into a laugh, nearly choking on your drink. “you're joking."
chris groaned, dragging a hand over his face, jaw flexing. “nick, for fuck's sake—”
“no, no, don’t interrupt, this is good,” nick said, grinning ear to ear. “he'd make me leave the door open and everything. one time, matt hid in the closet to prove a point, and he screamed so loud the neighbors came knockin'."
your laughter burst louder, shoulders shaking “you screamed like a little girl? oh god, i'd pay money to see that.”
chris shot you a sideways glare, one that was supposed to look annoyed but didn’t quite hide the twitch of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “don't encourage him,” he muttered, voice low, but not sharp enough to be serious. nick opened his mouth to add some more to the story, but chris didn't let him. "both of you, shut the fuck up,” he cut in, rolling his eyes. he tipped his bottle to his lips, trying to look unbothered while you leaned back, still laughing at his expense.
“chill,” you teased, nudging his shoulder with yours, grinning widely. “i would never think you're the scared of the dark type of guy."
chris dropped his hand, staring at you like you'd just insulted his entire existence. "m'literally fuckin' not. he's drunk talkin' shit."
"no, it's true. ask matt," nick says.
"i'm not scared of the dark, you dickhead." chris scoffs.
"then what it is?" you raise an eyebrow.
"what?" chris's jaw ticked, eyes narrowing at you through the firelight like you’d just poked at something you weren’t supposed to. "m'not scared of the dark,” he repeated, slower this time.
you tilted your head, smirking as you sipped your beer. “then why’d you always sleep with nick or matt? sounds like fear to me.”
nick laughs, clearly enjoying this, but chris shot him such a sharp look that he instantly shut up.
your grin only widened. you leaned a little closer, lowering your voice, so only he could hear. “or maybe…” your gaze flicked to his, “you just don’t like sleeping alone.”
for a moment he didn’t move, his bottle paused halfway to his lips. then, he slowly set it down in the sand, eyes never leaving yours.
“you think you know me that well, huh?” his voice dropped. he leaned in as well, just close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off him, "careful. keep talkin’ like that, i might just make sure you don’t sleep alone tonight either.”
you snorted, rolling your eyes before tipping your beer back. “mhm, you wish.”
he notices the way your gaze lingered on him for a beat too long though.
"do i?” he murmured, his eyes dropping briefly to the way your bikini strap curved over your shoulder before dragging back up to your face. "don't have to wish when i already had you in my bed multiple times, smartass."
his knee brushed yours— just slightly, but enough to make you suck in a quiet breath.
you tilted your head, refusing to look away even as your pulse kicked. “don't sound so desperate, chris."
that finally broke his composure and he laughed. "if i was desperate, you’d already be sittin’ on my lap instead of mouthin' off.”
your mouth opened, but nothing came out at first. his voice, his smirk, the heat of his body next to yours...it all tangled in your chest. you forced yourself to scoff, rolling your eyes dramatically.
someone called chris over from the other side of the bonfire. he sighed, then winked at you before pushing himself up from the sand, and for a second the flames lit him in that unfair way. his shoulders stretched, biceps flexing as he ran a hand through his hair, and he looked so good shirtless that your throat went a little dry, even if you've seen him like this already.
it was the fact that he was just mostly playing around tonight, not even doing much, but your eyes were on him the whole time. every time the second he turned his back you were watching. the way he tipped his head as he laughed with the guys, how casual he looked with the lighter between his fingers or when he was in the water earlier. it shouldn’t have been anything, but it was making you feel weak in the knees.
you didn't know what was going on with you. could've blamed it on the alcohol in your system, but you knew it wasn't it. the moment you saw him today, you felt like some wild animal. barely held back from jumping on him.
he just looked so good. especially with this new haircut.
a group of girls you’d talked to earlier waved you over, so you went, sitting down beside them, legs crossed, tossing yourself into their conversation like it was easy.
but your eyes kept betraying you. drifting across the fire whenever you thought no one would notice, catching on the outline of his jaw as chris exhaled smoke, the curve of his grin when one of the guys passed him the joint.
maybe it was the heat of the fire, or just the fact that you’d been telling yourself for weeks that you were not going to let yourself feel comfortable around him, that you don't want him this much— whatever it was, you could feel it pooling low in your stomach. that restless, familiar ache.
he leaned against nate while they passed the joint around, his laugh cutting through the hum of voices by the fire. you didn’t mean to stare, but your eyes caught on his hands—those long fingers wrapping so casually around the paper, the way he tapped ash off the end. it was way too stupid for your mind to go there, but it did anyway.
and then there were those gray shorts. you hated yourself for even noticing, hated the way your eyes darted down before you forced them back up, snapping to one of the girls talking about some class she was failing like you actually cared.
by the time chris stumbled back over, you were already nursing another beer, trying to play it cool. he looked down at you with a smirk, amused by your attempt to pretend like you're not aware he's right in front of you.
“missed me?” he muttered, wanting your attention to be back on him. he obviously noticed your not so subtle glances.
you could feel his cologne mixed with weed and something about this scent was so him that it was taking your breath away.
"no," you reply, looking up at him. god, how hot he looked from this angle.
he takes a sip of his own beer, you're watching how his adam's apple bobbed as he swallows. "liar," he whispers dramatically. "they playin' truth or dare. you in?"
"truth or dare?” you repeated, brows lifting. “are we still in high school?”
"i knew you'd be scared."
you chuckled in disbelief. “scared? of a game?”
“yeah,” he hums calmly, eyes locked on yours.
you were still sitting, looking up at him, his lap right in front of your face...
you were just in perfect position to—
stop.
“if you weren’t, you’d already be gettin' your lazy ass up," he adds. "but hey, no shame in admittin' you can’t handle the pressure."
you scoffed, taking a long sip of your beer before standing up. "i'm not scared. let's go."
chris grinned like he's won the lottery and followed you to others sitting in the circle on the sand, settling between a couple of drunk frat boys and two girls with wet hair, wrapped in towels. the bottle in the center wobbled unsteadily as it was spun, landing on random faces.
at first, the dares were stupid. someone was dared to empty another beer, another person had to run into the freezing water, one guy had to sing a horribly off key love song. everyone was dying with laughter.
you sat back, legs crossed, chin resting on your palm as you watched the nonsense unfold, tossing in the occasional sarcastic comments that made the circle laugh. you were bored out of your mind, never really finding this game to be that fun, but you couldn't let chris win.
he was sitting close enough that his bare shoulder brushed against yours when he leaned back, his arm propped casually behind you in the sand.
then finally the bottle stopped on chris. some guy grinned. "a'ight, bro. truth or dare?”
chris tilted his head, "truth."
the guy smirked. “okay, then. i think all the ladies here want to know... what's your biggest turn on?”
the question got a round of ooooh’s and laughter. you rolled your eyes, taking another sip of your beer even if your curiosity got slightly spiked. chris only leaned back on his hands, smirk tugging at his mouth. “that's easy.” his eyes slid shamelessly right over to you, not even trying to hide it. “using a toy on someone while fuckin' them at the same time.”
the boys instantly started whistling and laughing, girls giggling, a few mock gasps and comments about him being a freak. you completely froze, knowing what he's referring to. he just did that to you last week and couldn't stop mentioning it every chance he got. heat rushed to your cheeks so fast it almost made you dizzy as you slowly look at him. blushing— actually blushing and that never ever happened to you.
you quickly dropped your gaze to your drink, trying to look unbothered, trying to cover it with the faintest scoff, but your ears were burning, betraying you. chris obviously caught it, his smirk deepening, like he’d just won some unspoken game.
"oh shittttt,” the guy across the fire laughed, raising his brows. “hey, y/n. what you know about that, huh?”
a few people chuckled as you glare at the guy, recognizing him instantly. the same idiot who had tried to hit on you once, then later ran his mouth at that frat meet up about chris “always only playing around", like you were stupid and didn't know.
your jaw tightened and for a split second you considered snapping back, but you already knew it's not worth wasting your time on this dumbass. so instead, you lifted your hand casually, flipping him off with the laziest middle finger you could manage. a few people laughed at that.
chris's smirk grew wider, always liking how well you can handle yourself, but he obviously had to add something from him too.
"a'ight, since you’ve got so much to say,” chris cut in smoothly, leaning forward to grab the bottle and spin it again. it landed directly on the same guy. the timing— or his skills to cheat— couldn’t have been better.
a grin tugged at his mouth, "truth or dare?”
the guy hesitated, clearly knowing where this was going, but with everyone watching, he couldn’t back down. “…dare.”
chris's grin widened like he’d been waiting for that exact answer. “good,” he drawled. “i dare you to shut the fuck up for the rest of the game. no comments or questions. jus' sit there with your fuckass mouth closed."
the group cracked up, someone clapped their hands, you also chuckled. the guy’s jaw clenched, but with everyone egging it on, he had no choice but to lean back and take it.
chris didn’t even bother hiding his satisfaction. he just leaned an elbow on his knee, his gaze flicking briefly to you as the game continued.
after a few more ridiculous dares, the bottle stopped at you. the blonde girl smiled nicely. "alright, y/n, your turn. truth or dare?"
"hmmm... truth."
"borinnngggg," nick comments.
"truth, okay, let me think..." the girl took a moment, then finally coming up with something. she snaps her fingers, looking at you, "oh, i know. okay, what was the worst thing someone’s ever done to you?”
you tilted your head, like you were actually going to think about it, then shrugged as if it was the most boring question in the world.
“got cheated on,” you said, voice almost careless. you even smiled a little as you reached for your beer. “not that big of a deal, honestly.”
not anymore, at least.
the reaction was instant. the girl blinked, immediately apologizing, but you shrugged it off again. a few curious guys asked who did that to you, but you just sipped your drink like nothing happened.
the only thing you caught is nick and matt looking at each other with raised eyebrows. then they looked at chris, at you again, and back at each other. you knew it probably surprised them 'cause they barely know anything about you, but it wasn't that. they looked like something just clicked in their heads.
like they realized something. you just didn't know what.
the bottle spins again, landing on random people. you had no fun at all, just wanted to get more drunk. and every single glance you stole at chris made your thighs press together.
after a while the circle got a little sloppier now, everyone louder, laughter spilling over each other. the bottle lands right at the guy chris told to shut up earlier and he gets a chance to speak now. then after he does his dare, he grabs the bottle and gives it a spin.
and it stops at chris.
chris takes another sip of his beer as the guy grins. "well, well, well," he says. "let's make it fun, shall we?"
“truth,” chris mumbles flatly.
"perfect," the guy grins more. "alright then. what happened with nancy?”
oh.
oh.
the air shift is immediate. matt shifts in his spot, nick looks at both of his brothers, a few people confused.
chris looks exactly the same like thirty seconds ago, but you notice things already. you see the way his jaw ticks. like the guy's question hit too close to home. “who?” his voice is sharp.
you blink, looking between him and his brothers. you could tell by their expression that they obviously know whatever they know, but everyone else seemed to be as clueless as you.
the first time you heard that name, you shoved it away, telling yourself it's not your business. you don't get to be curious about his life.
but now?
"y'know, that girl nancy. heard you were in deep and then she just disappeared. boom. what's with that?"
nick and matt exchange a quick look while chris smirks and scoffs, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek.
"no idea who you talkin' about," he replies, taking another sip of his beer and successfully ignoring half of the people in the circle looking at him.
for a second it looked like the guy might push it. his lips parting, eyes glinting like he wanted to twist the knife. but matt leaned in immediately, cutting him off. "yo, shut the fuck up, seriously,” he said. the guy raised his hands in surrender, mumbling something about just 'asking a question' and both, nick and matt, immediately started talking back at him, getting the spotlight away from chris.
meanwhile chris just got up from the sand, grabbing another bottle from the cooler, and walking straight toward the water. the firelight only caught him for a moment before the night swallowed him, his frame disappearing into the darkness. no one even noticed him leaving, everyone too busy watching nick making fun of that guy, trying to put everyone's eyes on him.
nancy. there it was again.
you couldn’t stand being this curious. you'd told yourself before that you wouldn’t do this. that you couldn't. curiosity meant caring, and caring about chris was a red flag waving in your face.
but you couldn’t shake the image of his jaw clenching, his whole body bristling at that one question. chris doesn't get rattled— not by people, not by anything. at least you never saw it, really.
who the fuck is nancy?
and worse— why do you wanna know?
the game ended fast after chris stormed off. a few laughs, someone tried to spin the bottle again, but the energy was gone. soon, people just picked up their drinks and fell back into separate conversations.
you saw the guy walking away to his own friends, nick and matt talking quietly a few feet away, voices low enough that you couldn’t make out the words, but their faces were serious.
you wanted to ask. wanted to push, but you already knew how that would go. chris would shut you down, nick and matt would cover for him, and you'd be stuck looking like the nosy idiot.
you took a slow breath, brushing sand off your thighs as you stood up. around you, the night carried on like nothing had happened. you made your way toward the coolers, weaving past sprawled bodies, almost bumping into nate who appeared out of nowhere, walking back with a girl at his side. he hadn’t been in the circle earlier, hadn’t seen any of it.
you crouched down by the cooler, digging past melting ice until your fingers closed around a cold can. you cracked it open and leaned back against the wooden crate, taking a sip. and then another. and another.
chris has been gone for a while now. it's been around thirty minutes and the longer he stayed gone, the louder the name pressed against your skull. nancy, nancy, nancy...
you sat in the sand, knees drawn up, can balanced between them, staring at the fire like it might hand you an answer.
maybe nancy was some girl he fucked around with once. though, the way he reacted, that didn’t feel casual. that was something else.
okay. so maybe she was a love interest. his love interest.
your nose wrinkled. does chris even know what love is? from what you'd seen, love wasn’t in his vocabulary. you knew what it felt like, you'd been in it before and you just weren't able to imagine chris feeling and doing all this lovely bullshit.
you tipped the can back, draining it in three long gulps. it burned your throat, but it didn’t quiet your brain, just made you more restless.
you're doing it again. you're doing that thing where you get curious about him. stop. you don't care.
the fire cracked, laughter spiked from another group, and when you looked over there, you caught nate a few feet away, lazily passing a joint to the girl next to him.
that's what you need.
your body moved before your brain could argue. you pushed yourself up, brushed the sand off your legs, and walked over. "give me that," you muttered, taking the joint from his fingers without waiting.
his eyebrows shot up as he looks at you, a grin tugging at his lips. “didn't see you smoke yet.”
"'cause i rarely do.” you take a hit anyway, letting the smoke sear down your throat, the burn drowning your thoughts for a moment. your exhale came out shaky, but steadier than your head.
"ah, chris' influence i see," he replies sarcastically.
you rolled your eyes, taking another hit.
"slow down unless ya want him to kill me for gettin' you wasted," nate adds.
you almost laughed. "he doesn't care."
"yeah, but someone's gotta deal with you later, no?"
right.
the joint hit you harder and faster than expected. you lost track of time, the bonfire looked bigger and brighter now, the music thumping from someone’s speaker melted into the sound of the waves until it was all one pulsing backdrop.
you tipped the beer to your mouth and giggled at something nate said. it wasn’t even that funny, but for some reason it cracked you up. the girl sitting on his lap leaned over to add her own joke, and suddenly all three of you were laughing like old friends even if you barely knew them.
the buzz spread fast, loosening your shoulders. that knot of frustration about chris and nancy dissolved just enough for you to breathe. you didn’t care, at least not right then. everything was warm and golden and easy.
but the haze also made your body hyper aware. every brush of sand on your thighs, every glint of firelight reminds you of the grey shorts chris had been wearing before he disappeared— all of it replaying in your head in a slow motion.
you kept catching yourself drifting. not at nate or his girl, but at the memory of chris standing up earlier, muscles flexed, his voice low. or how he looked at you every single time. you couldn't understand. you weren't delusional, were you? one day he was nonchalant and closed off, the other he'd say stupid shit just to get a reaction out of you. always searching for eye contact even when he was across the room, talking to his friends while you were with yours. getting as close as possible, pulling you towards him just to push you away the next day.
you weren't stupid, you knew there will never be anything between you two. it's all casual, just sex. you'd probably freak out if he started taking it seriously or, god forbid, changed. you didn't even know why you're crashing out so bad when you're not even able to imagine being with him.
and maybe that was the point. it felt safe.
you wanted him because you knew you'll never have him.
another sip of beer and one last hit off the joint. your head was light, your limbs were heavy, and your imagination was on a loop you couldn’t turn off.
the firelight flickered across your knees as you pushed yourself to your feet. you ignored nate and the girl asking where you're going, tipping the bottle back for another swallow and waving them off without looking.
the music started blurring behind you, muffled by the rush of the lake. it was windy out here. every step toward the water felt heavier, but you kept walking, following the faint imprint of footsteps in the wet sand— his footsteps, you realized, or at least you wanted to believe they were.
it was darker here now, away from the fire. the night air cooled your skin, but the buzz in your veins stayed hot. the sound of the waves swallowed up everything else until it was just you, the beer in your hand, and the shadowed stretch of water ahead.
you noticed a pier, narrowing your eyes to see better. you chuckled, because it was so long, stretching into the dark water like a question mark.
funny.
without thinking about it, you just stepped onto it, the boards creaking softly under your weight. the lake smelled sharp this far from the fire.
you kept walking until the laughter from the beach was already a distant hum. you finished the beer, the buzz still in your chest, you let your fingers trail over the wooden railing, following it like a lifeline.
at first you thought you were alone. just the dark and the water and the sound of your own footsteps, but then, at the far end of the pier, you saw a shape.
chris. of course.
you stopped halfway down the pier, hidden by the shadows. from here you could see him clearly. he was sitting at the edge, elbows on his knees, cigarette glowing faintly between his fingers. the smoke curled up and disappeared into the dark.
something about the way he looked right now, it did something to you. for a moment you just stood there watching, telling yourself you should turn around, but instead you walked, pulled to him like a magnet. when you reached him, you sat down next to him without a word, the wood cool under your thighs. he turned his head slightly, his profile catching the moonlight, but before he could speak, you reached out and took the cigarette from his fingers, bringing it to your lips. you inhaled deeply, smoke scratching the back of your throat, your eyes locked on his.
he blinked slowly, eyebrows raised. "make y'self at home, why won't you."
you grinned, the smoke curling around you as you speak. "why're you sitting here being all dramatic?"
"i like dramatic," he takes the cigarette back from you, flicking ash into the water.
"figured."
"yeah, that's why m'talkin' to you."
you gasped dramatically, slapping his arm. "rude," you say, a little smile still tugging at your mouth. "i'm not dramatic."
"first of all, don't do that," he replies, looking down at his arm and back at you, clearly trying to be annoyed but failing when your eyes locked. "second, you're the most dramatic person i know. and nick exists."
"first of all," you mock him, making a face. "give me one example when i was dramatic."
he gives you a look, taking another hit. "even yesterday, when we got wendy's and you were complainin' for an hour 'cos they gave you regular fries instead of the chili ones."
"okay, but listen— like, there's a difference, hello?! and the price is different too—?"
"s'not like you paid for it."
"it's not the point, chris. god," you sigh with a shake of your head, almost pouting.
he raises a brow, exhaling deeply, staring at you now. he tilts his head, the silence stretching long enough that you shifted, frowning at him. "what?" you asked, touching your face. "do i have something on me?"
he grabs your jaw lightly, tilting your face to the moonlight as he looks into your eyes which makes your heart drop.
"you're high?" he murmurs amused, pulling back.
you couldn't shake off the feeling of his hand on your face. you wanted him to touch you more.
you smile, "maybeee."
"creepy."
"i'll punch you."
he snorts. "you look ridiculous."
"ridiculously hot."
he gives you a quick look up and down. a shiver goes down your spine. "not gonna argue," he replies, finishing the cigarette and stubbing it out. "you rarely smoke with me, but didn't have a problem with gettin' high with some random?"
"don't be jealous, i got high with nate."
"oh, that explains everything."
"what does that even mean?" you ask curiously, watching the way his forearms flexed as he leaned back on his palms. you shifted closer without realizing it.
"don't worry 'bout it."
"ughhh, you're weird."
he smirks faintly. "yet here you are."
"yeah, 'cos it's better than sitting with some people i barely know, when everyone's loud and sticky, and i'm already sticky and—"
he glanced at you sideways, one eyebrow raised. "sticky?"
you blinked. "yeah, from the— from the sand—?"
"and you're sticky?" he looks down at your body. "don't see any sand on ya."
you looked down as well, then back at him, your thighs unintentionally pressing together. "shut up. you don't see it 'cause it's dark, dumbass."
he grins, "if you say so."
you rolled your eyes, trying not to smile, but everything was just so hilarious. "you always only think about one thing."
"just like you. that's why we get along, don't we?"
you shaked your head with a chuckle, looking at the water. the reflection of the moon got your attention, drawing your eyes at the sky.
"it's so big," you say after a moment.
"that's what she said."
your eyes snap back at him, just to find him smirking. "oh, c'mon. you say shit like that 'n then expect me to think about what?"
"the sky?! i meant the sky, you freak."
"poor choice of words."
"no, but, like, deadass. look at it." you look back up, chris's gaze following. "like, it's just there. we're like ants. isn't that crazy?"
"not really."
"like, how does world work exactly? we're living on a flying rock and everyone takes everything so seriously. we don't even really know what's out there."
"science?" he says like it's obvious.
"okay, but still, we don't know everything. like, i believe in aliens. thinking that we're alone in this universe is selfish."
he hums, keeping quiet for a moment which makes you look back at him. he's already staring. "what? you don't think about stuff? like, at night when you're alone?"
"i'm rarely alone at night."
"can you be serious for a moment and answer?"
he shrugs.
"oh my god, just asking. it won't ruin your nonchalant, mysterious persona, don't worry."
"m'not mysterious. that's matt's role."
"whatever," you waved your hand dismissively, knee casually brushing against his. "okay then, what about mermaids? no one knows what's in the ocean. i don't think they look exactly like how people make them out to be, but more like fishy, y'know?"
"yeah, maybe," he replies amused, deciding to play along. "i think that even if the scientists discovered 'em, the government wouldn't tell us."
"oh, yeah, that's smart." your eyes wide with excitement now, fingers playing with the edge of the pier, then with the hem of your bikini strap, like you didn't know what to do with them. "same with hogwarts. i'd like to believe it exists, but it would mean i'm a muggle so i prefer not to think about it. i'd like to be a wizard."
chris couldn't believe how ridiculous you're being. you smoked with him once or twice before, but you never were this stoned and yapping about bullshit. usually you piss him off.
"well, you're alone in this one," he replies.
"what house would you be in? i kinda see you in slytherin."
"yeah, 'cos i'm cold and heartless?" he asks sarcastically.
"i never said that," you reply, poking his arm. since when his skin was so soft? "besides, being in slytherin doesn't mean someone's cold and heartless. it's so much more than that. and i only know you from how you act, so that's why you're a slytherin in my eyes."
"i'm a gryffindor," he mumbles. "matt forced me to do that quiz with him once and he said it makes sense, so..." he shrugs.
you glare at him, brows pulled together in focus. "hmmm, maybe..."
then you sigh, shifting on the spot, and looking at the water before your eyes moved back to him again. almost like you didn't wanna miss a second to watch his pretty face.
you couldn't stay quiet for even a minute.
"you know what's weird?" you ask. "frogs. they're so gross, i hate them."
"well, that's not really nice, is it?"
you shrug. "they don't even know they exist, like, what do they even do? nothing. imagine being a frog though. i think i'd be a cool frog. one of those poisonous, but cute ones." a giggle leaves you, hand brushing against his arm casually. chris watches you with his eyebrow raised. what the fuck.
and you keep talking. "...or i'd be a starfish. they don't even have brains— oh, nooo, you would be a starfish then."
"oh yeah?"
"yeah," you nod, leaning in without realizing, your breath fanning his bare shoulder, eyes caught on the way the moonlight shines against the chain on his neck. your fingers reach out before you can think. “i like it."
your fingertips brush the cool silver, then the warm skin beneath it. you twist it lightly between your fingers, tugging it once like you’re testing it.
chris' eyes flick to your hand, then to your face. he leans back a little more on his palms, letting the chain pull slightly against his neck, just watching you.
"you like shiny things now?” he asks finally, his voice amused.
“always did,” you giggle, still holding onto it, eyes flicking up to meet his. “maybe i'm part magpie.”
he huffs a small laugh through his nose, but doesn’t move your hand. you're the one shifting closer, knees almost between his now. your skin feels warm, your heart thuds louder, fingers trembling just a little as you play with the chain again. he watches you quietly, noting how your eyes linger, how you bite your lip without realizing. he doesn’t pull away, just lets you drift closer inch by inch.
“it’s warm out here, huh,” you mumble suddenly, voice distracted.
he tilts his head, smirking at the obviousness of it. "yeah, i wonder why."
you look up, noticing how much more intense his gaze is now. "you realize..." he mutters. "you're basically in my lap right now."
you blink at him. "no, i'm not."
"yeah, you are." the corner of his mouth lifts. "at this point you might as well jus' sit your ass down."
"shut up."
"you're crowdin' me," he leans forward a little. your breath hitches. "bein' all in my space the moment you came here."
you scowl, trying to laugh it off. "you're so full of yourself."
"nah," he clicks his tongue against his teeth. "just good at noticin' things." his eyes drop, lingering at your lips then drag back up. "like the way you're lookin' at me." his fingers hook the strap of your bikini, tugging it back then letting it snap lightly against your skin. "bet i'd find you wet if i checked."
the air leaves your lungs. your bikini suddenly feels too tight against your skin, sticking to your body, your pulse loud in your ears. you can't stop staring at his mouth and he notices— of course he does. he's never seen you so desperate before.
you finally move, straddling one of his thighs, the heat of his body making your head spin. he's so close yet so far away. "look at you," he mumbles against your lips, not moving an inch. his hands stay unmoved, like he wants you to get what you want all by yourself. "finally figurin' it out."
you leaned in, your hair falling forward and brushing his jaw. you finally pressed your lips against his, soft at first, then again, but more urgent, until your palms were flat on his bare chest. your own neediness makes you dizzy. he tilted his head just enough to fit his mouth to yours, answering your kisses with restrained precision, like he was holding himself back.
your fingers slid up into his hair, tugging a little, and you felt the muscle in his thigh flex beneath you. his arms stayed braced on either side of him, fists tightening slightly, the tension in him obvious. he was letting you take for now, just out of curiosity.
you broke the kiss for a second, eyes searching his, and he just stared back, jaw tight, smirk still there but his breathing uneven.
when you leaned back in, your mouth found his again, hungrier this time. you could tell he was fighting the urge to pull you in, but he didn’t. your hands slid up the back of his neck, fingers threading through his hair as you kiss him harder. you shifted your hips unconsciously, pressing against his thigh and the small movement sent a low sound rumbling from the back of his throat.
your lips moved from his mouth to his jaw, leaving wet kisses on its way. you weren't even thinking anymore, just acting on every small pulse of want that had built up over the night.
his hands finally found your waist, but didn’t guide you, didn’t push or pull, just stayed there. his fingers brushing the edges of your bikini strap, making you let out a soft sound against his skin as you desperately moved again. chris smirked, liking the sight of you like this, so desperately needing something from him and just taking it.
“keep goin',” he murmured, hands moving down to your hips.
you opened your eyes, catching the look on his face and it makes your stomach drop. you moved against him again, a slow roll of your hips that made the dock creak. and then again, a little harder without even realizing.
he tilted his head back, eyes half-lidded, watching as you start humping his thigh, the material of his shorts getting drenched and he could feel it. “grindin' on me like m'your personal pillow."
your face went hot but you didn’t pull back. your nails digged into his shoulders. “shut up,” you breathed, but it came out as a whimper instead of a threat.
he chuckled, the sound low in his chest. “oh, now you’re quiet,” he mutters. “you're always so mouthy. what happened to that?”
you bit your lip, still moving, his dirty talk making everything worse, feeding whatever had been burning in you since you've seen him for the first time today.
he trailed his thumb across your skin, just under the edge of the bikini strap. his cock was hardening rapidly under you. "how needy you gotta be to fuck my thigh even through our clothes like some desperate little slut?"
you shuddered at the word take, forehead falling to shoulder as you pressed against him harder, your pussy clenching. chris smirked, drunk and high, but still sharp enough to clock every flicker on your face. “thaaat's it,” he whispered, "show me how bad you want it.” his hands slid down to your ass, squeezing firmly and encouraging your movements.
he kissed your neck, marking your skin as always. his cock was throbbing painfully in his shorts as you dry humped his thigh. you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to coming just from riding his leg. he watches your head tilting back, eyes squeezed shut, and he's mesmerized. "gonna come all over my fuckin' leg?"
"chris..." you whimpered, movements getting sloppier, almost frantic without you meaning to.
you pressed harder against him, thighs shaking, a small broken sound escaping your throat. your thighs start trembling as you come on his thigh, your orgasm rolling through you until your breath stuttered and your fingers clutched at his shoulders. you gasped for air, moaning quietly, his eyes stayed on your face, watching the way you trembled, the way your lip caught between your teeth. he lets you come apart, thumbs drawing small lazy circles into your skin like he’d known all along this would happen.
a low, satisfied sound came from his chest. "good girl,” he murmured. "didn't take you long."
you pressed your forehead to his shoulder, breathing ragged and uneven. he could feel every tremor shivering through you, every tiny catch of your breath as you tried to steady yourself. he leaned back a little, chest rising slow, his eyes dark, the corner of his mouth tugging into that smug half smile that always makes you weak.
“damn,” he drawled, voice low. “didn't even have to lift a finger.”
you whined embarrassed, hiding your face against his neck. stoned you and sober you were so different than he snorted, finding it ridiculous.
"what happened to the tough girl act?” he muttered near your ear. “always talkin’ back, always actin’ like you don’t want me… and now?” he grabbed your jaw to lift your head, just enough to catch your eyes, still glassy and wide. “what'cha gonna say now, huh? wanna fuck me here, on a pier? in public? who's the freak now?"
you shifted, almost like you wanted to get off his lap, but couldn't make yourself to do so. "chris—"
"nah, don’t ‘chris’ me now. just proved everything i already knew." he guided you back until your back met the rough wooden planks of the pier. he glanced up toward the beach, then his eyes came back to yours, gleaming in the dark.
"y'know what i love about this?” he drawled, leaning closer, his breath brushing your cheek. “it's so dark out here… nobody would know what we're doing," he smirked. “and even if they did know, it makes things better, doesn't it?"
for a second you just stared at him. the way he said it sent a tiny shiver racing down your spine.
it wasn’t just what he said. it was the look in his eyes. it made the dark around you feel thicker all of a sudden. the air smelled like smoke from the bonfire drifting across the water, the sounds of his friends laughing far off on the beach only made it worse, made it better, like you were balanced on some thin line between being caught and being invisible.
he gave you that slow smile and leaned in until his lips brushed yours. the adrenaline and the way he looked at you tangled up in your chest until you couldn’t tell which was which. you kissed him first, a clumsy pull, and he kissed you back without hesitation, his hands sliding up your sides but still not taking over.
the kiss deepened before either of you had time to think about it. every small sound folded into the background until there was only his breath and yours. his muscles shifted beneath your hands, chest rising against your palms whenever you touched him. the silver chain you’d admired earlier was dangling in front of your face.
when you tilted your head to kiss him harder, his hand slid a little higher on your waist, just enough to make your stomach flip. he still wasn’t leading— he was letting you decide, but the pressure of his fingers told you he knew exactly what you want next.
"take it off," you mutter against his mouth, moving his hand down to your bikini bottom.
he nipped at your lip hard enough for it to sting and get a quiet whimper out of your mouth. his fingers hooked under the material, pulling it down your legs and then throwing it somewhere aside. he positioned himself between your legs now, kissing down your neck. you felt your cheeks burn, half with the breeze and half with heat. you could feel every pulse in your body, your heart hammering against your ribs, your fingers threading into his hair without thinking.
chris smirked, his eyes flicking to your lips and back up again. “you like this,” he murmured. "doesn't matter if we get caught, huh?" his finger moves along your folds, circling your clit before pushing in. "so wet... drippin' actually. who made ya this needy?" he mocks you.
you whimpered, back arching. "chris, don't... don't tease...—" you hissed, lifting your hips which gave him a better angle as his fingertip brushes against your sweet spot. "just come on..."
"so bossy when desperate..." he grins, pushing another finger just to draw another sound from you, then taking it out slowly and looking down to find your arousal on them. "ah, look at that," he clicks his tongue against his teeth. "so pretty. all f'me."
but he gave in, removing his clothes, his dick sprang free, already leaking with precum. he looks up at you, having this cocky glint in his eyes. "this what you want?"
you couldn't respond even if you wanted to— he started rubbing the head of his cock against your wet slit, coating himself in your juices before pushing inside without warning. you were so soaked and sensitive from your previous orgasm that he slid in easily, hitting deep immediately. the sound you made caught in your throat.
he gave you a moment to adjust, but you were impatient, nagging at him to just move so he did, setting a slow but hard pace, his hand gripping your hips tightly enough to bruise which only spurred you on.
"oh god—" you moan, nails raking across his back, body arching against him with each thrust of his hips. his other hand braced on one side of your head, his silver chain glinting in the dim light from the moon. he was moving with a deliberate rhythm, not rushing, his weight pressing you into the worn planks beneath. every push of his hips was controlled, like he was doing it on purpose, wanting to see you losing it. he knew you're feeling a different type of desperation, especially so high.
his breath came hot against your cheek as he looked down at you with that half smirk he always had when he knew he was in control. the sound of the water lapping against the posts below mixed with your breath catching in little gasps. "oh— so good... mmmhp, shit—"
he rolled into you again, deeper but still maddeningly slow. “fuckkkk…” he murmured, a low sound like a growl in the back of his throat. "takin' it so well..."
you curled your fingers into his shoulders, arching up without even realizing it. chris pressed you back down with his hips, keeping that pace, slow enough to feel every tremor from you. he liked watching you react, liked how your mouth opened as if to say something but no words came out. the boards creaked under you as he pulled back just enough for you to whine desperately, and then pushed back in, making you see stars. his eyes stayed locked on yours, watching you struggle with the pace. he knows you need more. he's just waiting for you to ask for it.
his hand drag back down your thighs, guiding your knees higher, adjusting the angle without ever breaking his rhythm.
your nails scraped against his skin now, not even trying to hide your desperation, too out of it to do so. you arched again, eyes fluttering shut, and a broken moan left you. "chris... please, you’re—” your voice cracked into another whimper. “you're killing me.”
"mm, what'cha need, huh? use your words. we know you like to talk shit 'n now you can't say what you need?"
you caught his chain in your teeth, his dick throbbed at the sight. "shitttt," he groaned, almost automatically speeding up and starting to slam into you. he could feel your pussy clenching and unclenching around him. "m-more...—" you moaned with his chain still in your mouth, eyes rolling back. you didn't even know what you wanted.
his breath came out in a low hiss, right next to your ear. "more? you're this greedy?"
you clawed at his shoulders. “it's good… but it’s— it’s not—”
“not enough?” he teased, still holding the pace.
you tried to grind against him, voice breaking. “harder…”
he lets out a low chuckle, his lips brushing your neck. “harder? wanna show me how bad you want it?” he murmured. “do it then.” he kept the rhythm maddeningly steady for another beat, watching you squirm beneath him. then, with a cocky smirk, he shifted his weight. in one fluid motion he rolled you two, letting you end up on top, straddling him. his hands slid up to the small of your back. “go on, ma," he rasped. “ride me how you want. show me.”
the sudden change made you gasp. now you were the one moving, the one setting the pace. your thighs trembled as you adjusted, and his palms roamed your sides, encouraging but not controlling. “that's it,” he muttered. "take what you need, c'mon… you said harder, didn’t you?”
you leaned over him, hair falling around you like a curtain, hands flat on his chest for balance. chris looked down where you were connected, watching himself disappear into your wet pussy. "fuckin' look at that..."
each movement of your hips makes you moan, the quiet slap of skin against skin mixes with the soft creak of the boards beneath you. a quiet curse leaves you when you change the angle to be more comfortable, and his cock grazes against your g-spot, finally giving you what you craved the whole evening. his hands move to grip your ass, squeezing it, his eyes never leaving your face, watching how you throw your head back, eyes squezzed shut and mouth open in a small 'o' shape. he groaned deeply as you started moving harder, rolling your hips in a slow circle before rising and pressing back down, testing angles, chasing friction. your pussy swallows his dick whole with each bounce, your muscles gripping him like a vice.
chris watches you mesmerized by the sight, his hand reaches up to play with your clit, pressing and rubbing it in time with your movements. "takin' my cock so well... such a good girl," he praises, knowing you love that shit.
he was letting you do all the work, do whatever you wanted, move however you wanted, only playing with your swollen bud to add to the sensation. your inner walls flutter around him, slick glistening around your folds and dripping onto his balls. your palms slid up to his shoulders again, nails grazing his warm skin as you mewl and moan, trying to hold onto anything. the planks under your knees are cool but rough, and the small sting only made your movements sharper.
you weren't even trying to hide how bad you wanted this, ignoring the burning in your thighs, riding him faster now without even thinking, your breaths coming in small, stuttered sounds that tangled with the hush of the water below. chris’ jaw was tight, eyes half closed, a low moan leaving him every now and then. you feel your arousal building, pleasure coiling low in your stomach, your pussy clenching around him. "shittt, she's grippin' me so tight," he hisses, wetting his bottom lip.
you were already trembling, thighs shaking as you moved, that pressure low in your stomach starting to spiral tighter and tighter. every roll of your hips felt like it would push you over the edge, your breath came in broken little gasps, chris's name spilling out between them before you could even think. he tilted his head back, eyes half-lidded, watching you like he’d been waiting for this forever.
the pier creaked beneath you two, water slapping against the posts below. you were too wrapped up in the rhythm, the dizzy rush of it all, to notice anything else until a sliver of light cut across the darkness. your eyes flicked up instinctively, a small beam moving along the beach. you blinked, disoriented, then saw it again— a flashlight, moving closer, held by two, maybe three shapes in the distance.
oh shit.
“chris—” your voice cracked, panic mixing with the high, “chris, someone’s coming, look—” you slow down but don't stop, too desperate to finish.
and it felt so good.
chris turned his head slightly, eyes moving toward the beach. the cocky smirk came back instantly. he looks back at you, his hands sliding to your hips. "keep goin'."
your mouth fell open. “what?!” you hissed, the word a thin gasp.
“they can’t even see us,” he muttered. "it's dark, they won’t know. don't stop now.”
your pulse spiked. the beam of light swung again, closer this time, throwing white glints across the black water. you could hear voices, muffled but unmistakable, somewhere along the sand. you shuddered, torn between panic and the burning need still coiling inside you.
his grip on your hips tightened, steadying you, urging you back into moving faster without forcing you. “c'mon,” he whispered. “don’t be shy, you almost there."
your head spun as you slowly rolled your hips again, body screaming to finish even as adrenaline sharpened everything. you bite down on your lip, eyes darting between his face and the approaching light. the thrill, the risk— it all melted together until you started moving faster again, shaky at first, then falling back into rhythm while the flashlight crept closer.
he focused on you again, jaw tight, enjoying every second of your desperation. his dick twitched inside you as he thought about the possibility of getting caught. "thaaat's it, pretty," he whispered. "you ain't scared, hm?"
the flashlight wavered and voices rose, you could taste the adrenaline in the air, feel his fingers digging into your hips. every nerve in your body was on fire.
"what if they see us?" you asked quietly, pussy clenching around him.
he chuckled. "doesn't feel like you'd mind."
another moan leaves you and your hand quickly lands on your mouth. "careful," he adds, starting to thrust into you when he feels you being right on the edge. "unless you want 'em to hear ya."
the unexpected movement knocked a startled noise out of you, the tension in your belly so tight it almost hurt. the flashlight beam swung again across the water, closer now. you could make out the faint outline of figures at the edge of the pier. panic and adrenaline shot through your veins, making you move faster without meaning to.
chris's hands dug into your hips, pulling you down onto his cock harder. "fuck," he curses under his breath, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he groans quietly, pounding up into you. "m'gonna fill you up."
his hips jerk up as he buries himself to the hilt, spilling inside your pussy, his cock pulsing with each spurt. your cunt tightened around him in an instant, milking his cock for all its worth, a louder, muffled moan leaving your lips. chris watches your face contorting with pleasure, legs shaking slightly. he loves seeing you completely lost in your orgasm.
your movements come to a stop, for a long moment neither of you moved, the flashlight beam drifting just a little closer, voices more clear now. chris's chest rose and fell against yours, his hands still on your hips, and there was a tiny, cocky smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth despite the rush still rolling through him.
the light from the flashlight swept across the pier again— really close this time, just a few meters away and panic ripped through you high like a bucket of ice water. "chris…” you hissed, clutching his shoulders. “they're literally right there—”
he tilted his head, listening.
footsteps. voices.
his smirk twitched into something more mischievous than nervous. he moves you off him, his cock dragging against your sensitive folds which makes you whimper. "chill soldier," he jokes, standing up.
you stared at him in the dark. "what do we do?”
he reached for his shorts with one hand, dragging them back up. “we go swimmin'.”
"what?!"
he grabbed your hand and pulled you up in one motion. “c'mon. under.”
you barely had time to pull your bikini bottom back up before he was tugging you toward the edge of the pier. his friends’ voices were almost on top of you now, wood creaking under approaching footsteps. chris' grin widened, eyes glinting.
and then he stepped off the edge, taking you with him.
you hit the lake with barely a splash, sinking down into the cool water. for a split second you forgot how to breathe, the adrenaline punching your heart into overdrive. you came up under the pier with him, your heads barely above water, backs pressed to the wooden beams, hidden by the shadows.
just in time, you hear footsteps above, a flashlight beam playing over the boards. you hear one of the voices making a joke, and another answering. the sound of them was exactly over the spot where you and chris had been.
chris turned his head toward you, grinning in the dark water, hair plastered to his forehead. he mouthed 'shhh' pressing his finger to his lips, but his eyes were glistening. he found this funny.
sicko.
"they're standin' just where we fucked," he whispers.
you stared at him, teeth chattering a little. “you're insane,” you breathed. "stop smiling. this isn't funny."
"it is though," he replies quietly, still smirking.
you shook your head, your pulse still hammering from everything. from him, from almost being caught... you felt almost sober now.
he listens for a moment, then muttering, "that's nick and matt."
"really?" you frowned, trying to recognize the voices. he nods with a small hum, clearly thinking about something.
for a second there was just the hush of the small waves. then he turns his head toward you, his eyes catching a stray shimmer of light from the water.
"i'll climb back on the pier and tell 'em i was just swimmin'. you go back to shore, dry off 'n get back to the rest like nothin' happened. they'll never know," he says, not even expecting you to disagree or talk back. "and remember to go take a piss. hear me?"
"yeah, fine," you mutter, knowing it's probably the best option.
he shifts in the dark water first, his palms braced on the slimy pier beams as he glanced up at the gap between the planks. a faint slice of flashlight swept across above — close, but not close enough to see under. he turns his face back to you, "don't splash."
you rolled your eyes, "i'm not stupid."
"i could argue with that."
you hold back a scoff, watching him hoist himself up, water streaming off his shoulders, and slip onto the deck above. he doesn't look back, just vanishes into the dark.
for a heartbeat, there was nothing, but the water and the faint crack of wood as someone walked overhead. then you hear voices— low at first, then clearer.
"bro, where the fuck have you been?" matt asks.
"chill, i was just swimmin'," chris replies.
you move in the water, ready to do what chris said, but then something stops you.
"disappearin' for, like, two hours just to swim?" nick's voice now. "we know hearing her name pisses you off, but, c'mon dude."
her. aka nancy.
"i was swimmin'," chris repeats, his voice sharper now. "it doesn't have to do anythin' with her."
"why's this idiot so curious 'bout her anyway? he was sayin' somethin' about a part of some deal...—?"
"no idea. he's just fuckin' dumb. yo, matt, you got a joint? needa smoke," chris shuts his brothers down immediately.
now you were even more confused than before. but your curiosity was peaked again.
you silently slid out from under the pier, keeping to the far side like he told you. the water was cool against your skin, the moon shimmering off the ripples as you pushed yourself further out. every little sound from above makes you kick a little faster.
you keep your strokes long and quiet, not daring to look back until the pier was just a shadow behind. only then did you lift your head, gasping softly, the beach now much closer, the bonfire glow still flickering in the distance.
when your feet finally brushed the sandy bottom, you glanced once more toward the pier, then moved up the beach away from the bonfire, far enough so you could dry off and calm down before walking back like nothing had happened.
your hands shook as you wrung out your hair and wrapped your arms around yourself. you walked along the dark beach, chuckling in disbelief— you never had sex on a damn pier before.
actually, you hadn't done a lot of stuff like this before, but now it's something normal.
you stayed down the beach for a while, away from the firelight the sand turned damp and darker. every few steps you could still hear the music and voices from far off.
after a few minutes you started walking back toward the group, taking the long way around so you could dry off and pull yourself together. your hair stuck in damp strands to your face, annoying you so you pushed it back. you were halfway there when you remembered you had to pee so you took a turn, moving toward the bushes. a sudden noise stopped you— a zipper, a muttered curse, then the unmistakable splash of someone peeing into the bushes.
oh, taken.
you wanted to move forward to find some other place to pee, but then you hear a familiar, slurred voice. "yo... oh, hey. it's you?"
from behind a tangle of bushes stumbled nate, half bent over, fumbling with his belt, a bottle dangling from his other hand. his eyes were glassy even in the dark and he grinned like an idiot when he saw you. "ohhh, no way… it is you. thought i was seein' things.”
you blinked then laughed, watching him trying to keep his balance which was so absurd that it was funny.
"nate, what the hell—” you whispered, amused.
"needed a bathroom, bro," he mumbled.
"this is the beach."
"mmh, i didn't say i found a bathroom, did i?" he grins lazily.
he leaned on a post, wobbling hard enough that you stepped closer without thinking, grabbing his arm to steady him.
"you're so wasted,” you said, still holding his elbow.
"naaahhh,” he slurred, grinning wider. “just… okay, maybe a little.”
he sagged against you for a second, almost losing his balance, and you stifled another laugh, glancing toward the bonfire in the distance. "please, don't fall," you mutter, deciding to help him get to the rest and then pass him to whoever the fuck was there.
you ducked under his arm and moved it over your shoulders to steady him. he was heavier than he looked. "c'mon, you gonna face plant if you keep weaving like that," you said, trying to keep your balance which was getting harder. nate laughs, mumbling something unintelligible.
"hm?"
he hiccups. "where did you even go earlier?” he asked, head lolling toward you. "nowhere," you shrug.
"uh huhhh," he drawled, smirking. "couldn't find chris anywhere either...haven't seen you two for a while..."
he waggled his eyebrows at you in a big exaggerated way, then let out a hiccupping laugh.
"you're seeing me now," you replied, ignoring his stupid expression.
"your hair is damp," he notices. "what, went for a little night swim?”
you rolled your eyes, but your stoned brain almost starts working properly again at the mention of chris's name. and then her name flickered in your head. chris got so annoyed when that guy mentioned nancy. he cut his brothers off so quickly on that pier, almost like he knew you might stay under it and listen. maybe he did know you well after all.
you glanced sideways at nate, his eyes half shut. he was drunk enough to tell a stranger all of his deep secrets if they asked.
if anyone— besides nick and matt who definitely wouldn't tell you shit— knew the truth about chris and some nancy, it'd be chris's childhood bestfriend.
the idea sparked in your head and you couldn't stop yourself even if you wanted.
you steadied him again, your heart picking up a beat. you didn’t even know exactly what you wanted to ask yet, but you could feel the curiosity rising. you had to be careful not to scare nate away.
you realized he probably didn't know that nancy was mentioned earlier.
"yeah, i actually was with chris," you say slowly, carefully choosing your words. "we were swimming. he needed to cool off a little."
"yeah, why?"
"we talked about nancy," you lie. "he was kinda pissed off, y'know. i mean, who wouldn't be? this girl is a bitch. but don't worry, he's good now."
you felt his eyes on you immediately, he blinked dumbfounded, clearly skeptical.
"chris told you—?"
you tried to look offended by his question. "of course," you reply confidently. "i mean, it took him a while, but he finally did. y'know we both have crazy exes so i think he felt some kind of connection."
you wanted to laugh. that was the dumbest shit you've ever said. and you weren't even sure if nancy was chris's ex.
but nate looked shocked and curious, definitely less suspicious now.
bingo?
he let out a short, disbelieving laugh, shaking his head. “no way. chris doesn’t… he wouldn’t…” his brow furrowed as he squinted at you, trying to figure out if you're messing with him. “he actually told you that?”
"yes. how would i know about her if he didn't tell me?"
yeah. bingo.
he thinks about it as you both keep walking and after a moment he nods with a hum. in his head it's hard to believe that you'd even know that name if chris didn't tell you that. he doesn't even think of the possibility of someone else mentioning it or you accidentally finding out about her.
his shoulders slumped a little, his drunk brain trying to piece it together. “damn, bro… if he told you that… you must be—” he exhaled hard, rubbing his forehead. “man, nobody knows what happened with nancy besides his closest friends. like, nobody.”
"yeah, i'm honored, obviously," you keep lying. "it's so crazy to me, the things she did. can't even blame him for not wanting to even hear her name."
nate laughed under his breath as if the audacity of nancy doing whatever she did still amazed him.
"yeah, i mean, who the fuck is going for their boyfriend's brother? she was a fuckin' sicko."
oh.
you tried so hard to keep your face neutral right now, but this just hit you like a punch, leaving you completely stunned underneath the calm mask you were forcing yourself to wear.
"that's literally the most fucked up thing someone could've done," you say, keeping your voice steady, trying not to act like you're fishing.
"she always had this thing for matt. he'd always vent to me 'bout it, 'cos chris didn't wanna listen. she was all over matt 'n chris didn't believe him at all. didn't wanna hear it."
oh, damn.
you nod, acting like you're not hearing it for the first time ever. "yeah, he said he had a hard time believing matt back then."
"yeah, bro, she had 'em fighting all the time. it was like a game to her, y'know? nancy had chris wrapped, man. she ruined 'em for a while. they weren't talkin'."
"but he said it was, like, a while ago," you lie again.
"like in high school, but she was older, already had one foot out the door for college. didn't tell chris she was gonna leave to europe 'til this whole thing blew up. the cheatin' and all that."
"cheating?" you ask before you can stop yourself and you clear your throat, masking the shock written all over your face. "it's triggering to me, y'know—" another lie, "-- i got cheated on too."
nate gives you a look, his eyebrows raised. he didn't even catch your little slip. "really? damn. explains why chris keeps hangin' out with ya. probably feels understood."
for a second you just stared at nate, the words not really sinking in until they did.
chris got cheated on.
just like you had.
all this time you'd been so careful to keep him in a box marked as heartless dickhead, refusing to imagine any other version of him, but now the pieces started rearranging themselves. the way he’d looked at you when you talked about your ex, the way he’d punched jake that one night on the parking lot... how he couldn't stand that your ex was acting offended, like he was the one who got hurt.
now you get it. and you asked him if he always punches exes for the girls he hooks up with. it was so out of character for him, but you told yourself that maybe he just did it for fun. maybe wanted to impress you a little because back then you were more distant toward him.
wrong. he just did for you what he couldn't do for himself.
it makes your stomach twist. you didn’t know if it was sympathy or annoyance, or something warmer creeping in, but it unsettled you.
maybe he actually understood you, in a way nobody else did.
"i guess," you reply, snapping yourself out of your thoughts.
"he was different then," nate says, stumbling a little which made your grip on him grow tighter. "bro was in deep. she was his first everything and she knew it yet she acted like a bitch.... hold on, i gotta sit," he sighs, dropping onto the sand. you let him, sitting down as well, needing to get as much as you can out of him.
"nobody saw through her?" you ask. "i mean, did anyone believe matt?"
nate shakes his head, "he didn't tell anyone at first. we didn't even know chris is with nancy 'til like three months into their relationship. she wanted to keep it a secret..." nate scoffs, "guess why. but then chris told us and matt immedietely told him that she was flirting with him this whole time. chris was sure he's bullshitting out of jealousy."
you kept your voice neutral, "damn. who even does that?"
"right? mary lou hated her though, always said nancy was selfish, only out for herself, didn't love chris." he leans forward, rubbing his face.
"mother always knows," you mutter.
he lets out a startled laugh, "chris thought we were all against him. wanted to fight us all for that bitch."
"but like... people ask, right? i heard some people asking. no one seriously knows about this? chris is literally popular at the frat."
"i'm sayin', it was in high school. totally different part of the city. they weren't there, the frat has no idea. they've heard her name maybe, but only his closest friends and family actually saw all of it."
to say that you were stunned would be a misunderstanding.
you just needed a little more. you decide to risk it.
"yeah, and the way chris found out was fucked up too."
you have no idea what you're saying. but he had to find out somehow right? he had to finally break up with her.
thankfully, you hit exactly where you needed.
nate nods, his expression more serious than drunk. "yeah, i saw it, did he tell ya? crazy day, man. it was their birthday, last summer before she left. big pool party at their parents' place. he walked on her with matt in the kitchen. i was just right behind."
"he mentioned you, yeah," you nod, forcing yourself to look unfazed.
"she was all over matt, sayin' some fucked up things. that chris doesn't have to know, that she's leaving him soon anyway... that's how he found out that she gonna move to europe. she didnt care enough to tell him," nate says, sounding like it still pisses him off that chris had to deal with this shit. "matt kept tellin' her to chill, but she threw herself at him. kissed him. he pushed her away, started yellin' at her. never heard matt yelling like that in my life."
your mind catches on the picture. chris finally finding out that matt was right this whole time and that his girl is a backstabbing bitch.
nate keeps going, words slurring. "chris finally saw it and he realized he's been wrong. y'know, he's smart. i think he was suspecting something before, but didnt let himself dig too much into it. he's like that when he cares— wants to see the best in people. anyway, he kicked her out, him and matt talked it out, promised no girl will get between 'em ever again." he snorts, "nancy left for college a few days later. nobody's seen her since."
you blink at him, fighting to keep the shock out of your expression.
you can feel your stomach knotting, the picture of chris at seventeen slamming up against the one you know now. player, cocky, closed off. expect now you know why and you get it. when jake betrayed you, it changed you too.
"when he found out later that she's been fuckin' other guys this whole time she was with him, it was his last straw, y'know," nate adds.
"really? what the fuck?"
oop.
nate's head snap toward you, eyes narrowing through the drunken haze.
"i mean, yeah, i know. he told me," you say quickly, forcing a laugh.
but it was too late. nate's brain started catching on.
"oh my god,” he groans, clutching his face with both hands. “i said too much. i knew i was sayin' too much. don't... — seriously—don’t tell chris 'bout this. he'll kill me.”
"it's fine,” you insist, trying to sound casual, but your voice shakes. “i already knew, it’s not—”
"no," nate cuts you off, shaking his head. "if he finds out i told you 'bout nancy, i'm fucked. like, he'll never trust me again. you can't say anything."
you opened your mouth to reassure him again, when a sharp ahem slices through the night air.
you feel like in slowmotion when you turn your head.
nick and matt are standing a few feet away, both looking at nate like they’ve just caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. nate groans out loud, dropping his head into his hands. “oh, i'm so fucked.”
matt doesn’t even glance at you. he looks at nick. “get him up."
nick sighs, already moving, understanding that this is serious even in his tipsy state. "come on,” he mutters, sliding an arm under nate's and lifting him upright. “we're heading back in a minute anyway. let's go.”
nate lets himself be dragged off, mumbling apologies under his breath. you stay seated in the sand, staring after them until their shadows disappear into the dark. when you finally look back, matt is still there, hands in his hoodie pockets, face unreadable.
the silence stretches so long it starts to buzz in your ears.
"not running to tell chris?" you blurted, a hint of sarcasm in your tone.
matt's jaw ticks. “no,” he says flatly. “i won’t make it this easy for ya.”
"oh, how great of you, thanks," you scoff, standing up.
"you tell him," he stays calm, but with an edge under his voice. "that's on you."
"are you deadass? he will never talk to me again."
he glares at you. "you and everyone around know damn well that he hates this. hates people askin' around behind his back, being too curious about his life. you saw him gettin' annoyed earlier when nancy was mentioned and yet you decided to be nosy? if you wanted to know somethin', you could've asked him."
"he would never tell me," you shoot back.
"exactly.” matt's voice hardens. “so maybe that means you didn’t have to know.”
you fold your arms across your chest, trying to hide the way your hands shake. "look, i didn't go digging—”
"you did though," he cuts you off. "went to nate and played him into tellin' you about stuff that aren't your business."
"i didn't think it would be something like this."
matt exhales through his nose, the sound halfway between a sigh and a snort. “well, now you know."
you exhaled deeply, scratching your head and glancing around, toward the bonfire, like maybe chris will just appear and save you from this conversation. or make it worse.
you didn't want him to know.
matt notices. "he's not here," he says. "he's over there talkin' to madison."
you look back at him. "i wasn't even looking for him."
"you were. i get it, but listen. if you think you're gonna hide this, you're not. he's not stupid and he's gonna eventually find out."
"so what do i do now?"
he shrugs. “you wanted the truth, now you’ve got it. tell him you know. let him decide what he wanna do with that.”
you press your fingers to your temples, the buzz of weed and adrenaline making everything spin. “you're acting like it’s so easy," you scoff. "and i don't want him to be mad at nate. and he told me not to say anything—"
"nate will tell him," matt interups. "he's panickin' now, but he'll tell him. so chris is gonna know anyway. the question is if you're gonna tell him. if you don't... well, he'll understand it as disrespect."
you press your lips together, "he will hate me."
"maybe," he shifts his weight, passing by you. "or maybe not. but he definitely will if he hears it from somebody else." he takes a few steps back, hands sliding deeper into his pockets. “that's all i'm sayin'.”
then he turns, walking off toward the bonfire, leaving you in the dark with the sound of the water and your own heartbeat.
what the fuck just happened.
you can't even process it. chris's ex was playing him this whole time, trying to get with matt, also cheating and manipulating chris? it's too insane to wrap your head around.
and what nate said, that chris probably keeps being around you because he knows you experienced something he did, it hits you harder than you expected.
matt told you to tell chris, but the idea of him shutting you out makes your stomach flip. when you first met him, you wanted nothing more than him leaving you alone. even after the first time you two hooked up, you'd have dreamed of him just disappearing. he was annoying, full of himself and just stupid.
but now the thought of him actually stopping to talk to you makes you feel uneasy.
and you realize that you did exactly what you tried so hard not to— get used to chris' presence.
what have you done?
a/n: soooooo.... 😅😅😅😅 and yeah i know, i know, i said there's gonna be angst starting with part 6 but bear with me pls. keeping things slow okay🙏 y'all will have time to be pissed at me dw.... oh and im waiting for y'all opinions in my inbox oki bai 💋
it just sunk in to me that slushy noobz aren’t these little youtube’s anymore. slushy fans used to be so rare and now they have millions of subs and don’t get me wrong i’m so happy for them but i liked them being like a little secret and they aren’t anymore 💔 i will still love them forever tho
i feel like it's finally my turn to say something. i've kept this to myself for so long but seeing people still love rose, and now that she's finally gone i can't stay quiet anymore.
i was 15. the whole time i was so confused. she would constantly talk sexual with me, telling me about her fantasies and making comments i didn't even understand yet. she asked me to call with her, and on those calls she'd always bring up sexual stuff. i didn't know what to say. i just remember feeling weird, uncomfortable like i had to just sit there and go along with it even though i didn't want to.
eventually i blocked her. she blocked me back, and then i deactivated. since then tumblr hasn't felt safe for me. every time i see her name or people saying how much they love her it brings all of it back.
i think this is the last time i'll ever be on here. i don't even know why i'm writing this except that i just want to finally be heard. i've carried this for so long in silence and maybe it doesn't even matter anymore but it matters to me.
the worst part is i barely have any screenshots because i deactivated my account back then. that makes me scared no one will believe me. it scares me that most of this only exists in my memory and maybe only i will ever know what truly happened.
sometimes i feel like maybe i'm being dramatic. like maybe i overreacted or made it bigger than it was. but then i remember how sick it made me feel, how confused i was how i didn't even know what to say when she would start talking sexual with me. i was 15. that shoulve been enough for her to know it was wrong
i don't know. maybe i'll regret posting this maybe people won't believe me, but at least i finally said it out loud.
please i beg, interact with this any way i really want to feel heard it feels like im being dramatic but then I remember how much it still bothers me.
tags for awareness@cvnntagious @darksturnz @y3sterdaysproblem @passionfruitchris @nickssidewitch @humpster35
a ted talk: reposts appreciated because the fandom needs to hear this (or not i js wanna yap)
everyone says, “the 2022 videos were better.” but let’s be honest, was it really the content that changed, or the way they used to engage with us? back then, they posted consistently, interacted with fans, went live, answered dms, joked with us in comments. it felt like we were all part of something—like a community, not just a following. but as the fandom got bigger, louder, and more entitled, that connection started to fade. and it’s not because they stopped caring. it’s because they started protecting themselves.
they were stalked—in real life. someone crossed a line that should never have been crossed. and instead of rallying around them with empathy and understanding, what do parts of this fandom do? complain about a missed friday upload like we’re owed something. we’re not. what we are owed, sure, is communication—just a story or a post saying “no video this week.” that’s basic respect. but the tantrums, the passive-aggressive tweets, the “we made you” energy? that’s the very reason they’ve pulled away.
the fandom isn’t what it used to be and maybe it’s not because they’ve changed. maybe it’s because we have. 2022 wasn’t magical because of better thumbnails or funnier bits it was magical because we respected them, supported them without demanding more, and let them exist as people first and content creators second. if we want to get back to that feeling, it starts with us. less entitlement. more empathy. fewer complaints. more grace. the way we act directly impacts what kind of relationship they feel safe having with us. let’s stop being the reason they hesitate to share anything at all.
Yall take tumblr so seriously like who gaf...we write about fucking celebrities who will never acknowledge our existence and yet bitches are still going back and forth over...au's...?
Please take the time and effort you put into tumblr.com into getting a job, making friends, and going outside. Worry about other things besides an app that NOBODY is forcing you to be on.
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