﹒⟡﹒Warnings: San is in the Mafia, anxiety, terrible communication, cursing, they don't really solve their issues (please talk things out irl), it gets suggestive at the end. (lmk if I missed anything)
﹒⟡﹒A/N: I'm going to a hell of a writer's block so I apologise if this isn't good <3
(requested)
Soft and calming moonlight seeping in from the barely closed curtain along with the calming rain hitting over the house was the complete opposite of what was running through your mind.
The television was the only sound as you were too consumed in your own thoughts, sitting by the window. Each passing minute echoed with unanswered questions, pure worry painting your features. Even the clock seemed to be mocking you, ticking away as you waited for your boyfriend’s arrival.
3:00 a.m. hit and there wasn’t any sign of San being even close to home, you wanted to go to sleep, forget about this, pretend you didn’t care, unfortunately, you couldn’t. You reached for your phone once again, its screen flashing your loving wallpaper of him and you, the happy memory washing away as there were no notifications or phone calls.
Your eyes began to grow heavy as another hour elapsed, however, the anxiety kept you awake. You were tired, mad, worried, confused, scared, furious. He was making you feel every single emotion without even being here. How could he have such a hold on you?
The sound of the lock being opened snapped you out of your catastrophic thoughts. San entered, taking off his shoes and locking the door behind him, not noticing you were still awake.
“What the fuck?” You said into the dark house, startling him.
“Woah, Y/N. You scared me” He softly said with a light chuckle.
“Me? I scared you?” You said in a stronger voice. Was he so incredibly clueless? “I’ve been worried sick about you. Why couldn’t you tell me you were arriving this late? Why couldn’t you return my calls? Why, San?”
He was shocked at your harsh tone, like a deer caught in headlights he stepped back slightly and sighed. “Don’t worry about it, I’m sorry.” He tried to lean in and kiss your forehead but you pushed him away.
“Don’t. Where were you?” You just wanted to know what the hell was your boyfriend doing at these ungodly hours, you could be happy to hear anything as long as it wasn’t that one thing.
“It’s complicated, okay? We’ll talk about this tomorrow, love” He carried out the same calm tone.
“No. We will talk about this right now. You can’t possibly expect me to act normal after you practically disappeared for the last 6 hours” You were enraged, his ambiguity only adding to the fire.
Okay, he was also getting mad now, your constant yelling stressing him out of his mind. “You don’t want to know, princess”
“I do want to know. Just tell me” You stepped closer, he was driving you closer to the edge and so were you.
“I said, you don’t want to know. That is a no. Final answer” He started walking towards your bedroom, being done for the night. “Fucking god! Would it kill you to tell me the truth for once?” You followed him into the dark room, stopping abruptly as you entered.
Now that he had removed his coat you saw his blood splashed shirt, then he started to remove his tie “San? What happened? Is that-”
“Blood. It’s blood, it isn’t mine” He stated. Oh, it was that one thing.
You were flabbergasted. Why had he gone behind your back to do the thing he promised not to do? On top of that, he thought you wouldn’t even notice. “See? It’s complicated.” He spat back now that you were finally quiet.
“Choi San, you better tell me why the fuck did you go on another mission.” You said in a cold tone, being way too mad that you were becoming numb.
“It would just put you in danger” He continued getting ready to go to sleep as you stood there with your crossed arms, waiting for your answer.
“I don’t care, San! I don’t care if it ‘puts me in danger’. That wasn’t my question.” Frustration continued pooling deeper inside of you.
“Calm down, okay?” He was annoyed at your extreme reaction.
“I won’t calm down until you tell me” You sat down on the bed, crossing your legs and looked at him waiting for your answer. You already knew he went back to Ateez, but you needed to hear him say it.
“I know I told you I wouldn’t, but they needed me” He had admitted what you had been longing for all night.
“Was it that hard?” You sighed out tiredly. “You’re not mad?” He asked in a confused tone. “Oh, I am but not because you went back to Ateez. I am because you didn’t fucking tell me”
“I’m sorry” He leaned in to kiss you, you wanted to pull back and continue yelling at him but your body betrayed you. You returned the kiss, a little more passionately that you would’ve liked.
He lowly chuckled at your sudden passion. “Oh? Someone’s no longer mad” His hands moved to rest to your hips. “You can’t just kiss me and assume I won’t like it. We’ll talk about this in the morning.” The kiss had blurred the lines between anger and desire.
Gently, he pushed you back into the bed, kissing you and whispering sweet ‘sorrys’ in between. “I’m still furious but you know that fucking shirt makes me weak and I never knew blood could look so good on someone”
