Stylish Ben is Stylish

Giving styles to those who otherwise have negative styles.

[stylishben]

A Style Titan Returns: The Revival of Stylish (living) Ben

All the roomers are wrong.

No, I’m not dead.

No, I’m not a robot.

No, a double from the Burmese National Liberation Front didn’t replace me.

No, I’m not living in New Zealand with Tupac and Sasquatch.

So many of you may be asking “Stylish Ben, where did you go for 13 months? Why did you leave the style wars? Who shot Mr. Burns?” The best way to explain what happened to me would probably be by starting from the end, but that’s cliche so I’m not gonna do that. Instead I am going to tell my tale in several parts starting from the beginning. This is my story. This is my epic. This is 

THE SAGA OF STYLISH BEN. 

[stylishmarm-blog]

Rare Interview with Rakoi Astley

Rakoi Astley is a stylish pal. Stylish Marm will be interviewing him.

Marm: When are you gonna give me up?

Rakoi: Never.

Marm: Is Marm a stylish pal?

Rakoi: Yes.

Marm: When are you gonna let me down?

Rakoi: Never.

Marm: Is Swagaif a stylish pal?

Rakoi: Yes.

Marm: When are you gonna run around and desert me?

Rakoi: Never.

Marm: Is Ben a stylish pal?

Rakoi: Yes.

Marm: When are you gonna make me cry?

Rakoi: Never.

Marm: Are TBD and Ali Kapun stylish pals?

Rakoi: Yes, absolutely, but they should consider joining the Palliance with the other Style Titans.

Marm: When are you gonna say goodbye? 

Rakoi: Never.

Marm: Are Mudder and Nag Pek stylish?

Rakoi: No. Is that even a serious question? They couldn’t be any less stylish.

Marm: When are you gonna tell a lie and hurt me?

Rakoi: Never.

[stylishben]

Straight from Rakoi, TBD and Kapun join stylish palliance? Sounds stylish cutsies.

[stylishmarm-blog]

Rakoi Astley Interview Part Two

We’re back with the oh so stylish Rakoi Astley.

Marm: Are we familiar with love?

Rakoi: We’re no strangers to it, that’s for sure.

Marm: Who do you think will win the Style War?

Rakoi: The Palliance, no doubt about it.

Marm: Do I know the rules?

Rakoi: Yes, and so do I.

Marm: Should Nag Pek be shown mercy if he surrenders now?

Rakoi: No, he had his chance and he blew it.

Marm: What are you thinking of?

Rakoi: A full commitment.

Marm: Is it true that the music video to your hit banger “Whenever You Need Somebody” is incredibly creepy?

Rakoi: That depends on whether you consider using a system of televisions to stalk someone when they try to go on vacation far away from you as creepy or romantic.

Marm: Who else could I get this from?

Rakoi: Not any other guy.

Marm: Does the Unstylish Army stand a chance of victory?

Rakoi: No, style always triumphs in the end.

Marm: Is my heart aching?

Rakoi: Yes, but you’re too shy to say it.

Marm: Is it true that Mudder wears jorts around his home?

Rakoi: I would never go into that den of wankers to confirm it, but I have heard many reports that this is the case.

Marm: Do we both know what’s been going on?

Rakoi: Yes, on the inside.

Marm: Is it true that Nag Pek wears jorts around his home?

Rakoi: I would never go into that den of wankers to confirm it, but I have heard many reports that this is the case.

Marm: Do we know the game?

Rakoi: Yes, and we’re going to play it.

[stylishben]

good to hear

[stylishben]

Stylish Nagpek gets custom zippers, the wrong way?

Apparently there is a group of unstylish people who don’t know how zippers work, and Nagpek is included in this group. Stylish Nagpek unstylishly ordered a sweatshirt with custom zippers in an attempt to detract attention from Stylish Ben’s stylish new jacket. However, this proved to have an opposite effect for Nagpek. As his desperate grab for attention in the world of fashion proved that he has negative styles, he has also managed to reveal that he doesn’t even get basic fashions. Zippers, which come naturally to the cutsies in the palliance, are a basic style essential, one which I personally mastered at age 2. It seems though that Nagpek hasn’t yet. Nagpek, in fact, has gotten custom zippers that lead not to pockets, but instead simply unzip the side of his sweatshirt by the hem. Nagpek claims that this is designed to help him reach his pants pockets, but we can all see through this fake act. the reality of the situation is that he simply is too embarrassed that he got custom zippers, the wrong way.

- Stylish Ben out.

[stylishben]

Continuation?

[stylishben]

Why Indiana Jones 2 The Temple of Doom is a Stylish Flick

Because of his hat boys. That’s the only reason this movie floats.

[stylishmarm-blog]

Ali Kapun

Ali Kapun is a very stylish pal. Take a look at this fresh outfit:

That’s mad fresh. The only way Kapun could be any more stylish is if she joined the Palliance.

Stay cute cutesies and stay stylish Kapun. Stylish Marm out.

[stylishben]

I would also like to extend a stylish invitation to the palliance

[niccoltrane-deactivated20190719]

Nag Pek shows his true colors

Marm’s laptop was allegedly stolen (probably by renegade ass stylish Ben)I bet Stylish Marm is feeling Ral betrayed right about now

[stylishben]

This is not true. It is an obvious lie by a weak unstylish wanker in a losing war.

[stylishben]

Fear and Loathing in the Present: Why Nag Pek clings to the past and cowers from the future.

Nag Pek has now attacked many visual and stylish characteristics of my blog as being unoriginal and stolen from his shat blog. I didn’t realize that Nag Pek was the first person to think fur coats were stylish. Hmmm...   maybe that is because he wasn’t. It seems that Nag Pek is guilty of exactly what he accuses others of. However, Nagpek sticks with his old outdated fashion sense while I have taken it to wear fashion has never gone before, forever leaving his trash style in the past and forging a bold new future. Nagpek has the evilness of Cruella Deville, but the palliance has her fashionable furs. Plus Marm has her long nails! Nag Pek needs to remember what style is. It isn’t the actual items of clothing, it’s how you sport them, and I simply sport them better. Anyone interested in the future of style should come to rts at lunch tomorrow to see Nag Pek’s unstylish azz handed to him by this here cutsie.

- Stylish Ben out.

[stylishben]

dis Ultra unstylish Guy Nag Pek best be ready for tomorrow Because Stylish Ben is bout to Bring Fashion to a whole New level.

Get ready. You will see no mercy, so be in rts lunch and prepare to have your cock blown (not in a gay way though).

[niccoltrane-deactivated20190719]

Stylish Ben Cannot Identify C Level Style Accessories

Stylish Ben doesn’t know what a button is.

[stylishben]

Nagpek not only proves to be too unstylish to identify the A+ level sarcasm of Stylish Ben, but also “stylish”Nag Pek doesn’t know what fashion is.

[niccoltrane-deactivated20190719]

You Are What You Eat: Why Nag Pek’s counter argument renders him even more unstylish

In a recent blog post, (Un)stylish Ben fire a few rounds off in the general direction of Nag Pek’s style head quarters. However due to how much of a damezz (Not at all) Stylish Ben is he completely missed, shooting himself in the face like a complete wanker. What Ben fails to realize is that I clearly took to the seas in my style off against a shark. Despite only being able to command 30% of the earth while on land, underwater I defeated a top level shark in the world of style, giving me an full access pass to the all you can eat buffet of weak, unstylish sea creatures. Stylish Ben, if you can’t take the heat stay out of the kitchen, and if you can’t understand underwater style competitions with sharks stay out of the pacific ocean.

[stylishben]

Nag Pek, a Greedo-esque child widely considered to have negative styles, attempts to argue against my math which clearly shows that he lost a battle of styles against the cutsie pal Marm, and then tried to lie in order to mask his defeat. However, Nag Pek’s counter argument is riddled with errors. First of all Nag Pek’s philosophical speculation cannot hold up against my rock solid and very stylish Palgebra. Second of all, Nag Pek says he has a, “full access pass to the all you can eat buffet of weak, unstylish sea creatures”. If he new anything from the expression “You are what you eat”, he would realize that a “buffet of weak, unstylish sea creatures” would only make him more unstylish. Now, after reading this Nag Pek will most likely try to argue against this last statement saying he doesn’t eat this “buffet”. However, it is obvious that his goal is obtain this so called “buffet”, and therefore it is only logical to assume that he has acquired a taste for unstylish sea creatures (which sharks are not). This being true, Nag Pek must have eaten from an unstylish buffet in the past, making him have even less styles. So before Nag Pek claims I should stay out of the Pacific Ocean, he should wake up himself because right now he is the one sleeping with the fishes (or should I say the ever so stylish sharks). - Stylish Ben out.

[niccoltrane-deactivated20190719]

After a quick gander at my Instagram feed early on this fine easter morning, I scrolled down to find the very stylish Beyoncé’s easter basket filled with spectacularly decorated eggs. One which stood out to my was a golden egg rocking a fresh as hell Basquiat crown. After a coincidental, yet very lengthy hunt for stylish Basquiat gear yesterday it was in my very stylish nature to combine these two (very fashionable) icons in to one egg. I began with a golden egg, but scrapped the idea, replacing it with silver spray paint. I began this process by free-handing a crown out of standard grade duct tape. Shortly after I slapped it gingerly on to the surface of the egg, and began the first coat of silver paint. After 12 minutes and 6 seconds I decided it was high time to divide the adhesive from the hard surface. The final result was this stylish beauty above. However, this wonderful composition (shot by Nag Pek) steals the show from the already flawless egg. Hopefully my helpful tutorial will help my ever-growing following to create an egg that won’t shatter at the mention of mine by the time next easter rolls around.

edit: The egg has officially cracked, but is still 15 times flyer than Marm. 

[stylishswagaif-blog]

This would be a great post if Beyoncé or the Easter Bunny gave a hoot about your “style” but clearly their is a lack of it. I almost fell asleep reading this “style” post. So much for being a “Style” Titan. Instead of spending time making foolish and unstylish eggs, you should read Stylish Ben’s or Stylish Marm’s blog to actually learn a thing or two about style. Here is a rose for your troubling unstylish times, I’m sure it’s hard. 🌹

[stylishben]

OOHHHH! Chya stylish boi Swagaif just burned you. Maybe now that your super unfashionable easter egg has been exposed to Stylish Swagaif’s hot post it will get cooked and your very unstylish egg can become useful as food for a plebeian. Looks like Stylish Swagaif had a more stylish easter than you without even being Christian.

- Stylish Ben out.

[stylishben]

Recent Pal’s Stylish Math Changes the “Tide” of War for a Young Shark Named Mark!

Breaking News!

Hmm... a bellicose and unfashionable butthole named Nag Pek falsely believes that he has taken a decisive victory in an underwater style battle against a young and stylish shark named Mark (who is also a Fashion Titan). However, this is an incorrect assumption that can be disproven using simple Palgebra. If sharks are the most viscous animals in the ocean then it can be said that they are the kings of the sea. Unstylish traitors, like Nag Pek, only live on land. While they are not the kings of the land because they are weak and have negative styles, for the purposes of this demonstration lets say that there is a one percent chance of Nag Pek and his fellow butthole Mudder being the kings of land, and that in some alternate universe they are the kings of the land. Even in this near impossible circumstance Nag Pek and his accomplice Mudder would only rule 30% of the world while the ever fashionable shark Mark would rule over double that. In addition it is obvious that Sharks are the established style kings of the ocean while there is a minuscule possibility of Nag Pek and Mudder being the Style kings of land. It is apparent that these two buttholes could never outstyle Mark in his underwater kingdom. In fact, even on land a shark could beat this unstylish duo of buttholes. Nag Pek is a liar who is scared because he knows that he is on the losing of a major style war and is trying to compensate for that by turning around public opinion with blatant lies. He is not only unfashionable, but also untrustworthy.

-  Stylish Ben out.

[danielkanhai]

i was just walking home from the subway in the rain and i saw a dog walking down the sidewalk alone wearing a sweater. now, i’ve seen dogs walking down sidewalks alone not wearing sweaters and i’ve seen dogs walking down sidewalks on leashes ...

[stylishben]

Stylish Ben would like to extend his sincerest and most stylish apologies to Stylish Marm, as he did not mean to attack his feline fashion sense in anyway. Stylish Ben would also like to thank Marm for the compliment and ask him to help form a triple pal-liance with Stylish Ben and Stylish Swagaif.

- Stylish Ben out.

[stylishswagaif-blog]

Who am I? Please you Cutesies already know that. Needless to say I’m probably the most stylish, charismatic, understanding (did I mention stylish?) personality on the Internet. What will I be posting on this blog? That’s a great question. This blog will be used as my personal play thing. I shall...

[stylishben]

Stylish Ben supports the fight against the very unfashionable alliance of Mudder and Nagpek. Stylish Ben also quite fashionably thinks that Stylish Marm, Stylish Swagaif, and Stylish Ben should form a stylish alliance in order to fully combat those who have negative styles (Mudder and Nagpek), much the way the 3 Axis Powers aligned in WWII (except with less genocide and more style). The proposed alliance could prove to be the key to winning the 3rd Style War and establishing fashion throughout the blog-world. I believe that Stylish Marm, a veteran of 3 Style Wars, would be most fit to lead this proposed alliance. It is imperative that those with negative styles are crushed. Their lack of any fashion sense cannot be tolerated, so please join me in the struggle for style.

- Stylish Ben out.

[danielkanhai]

A Brief History of Style Part I: The Rise and Demise of Style Empires

i was just walking home from the subway in the rain and i saw a dog walking down the sidewalk alone wearing a sweater. now, i’ve seen dogs walking down sidewalks alone not wearing sweaters and i’ve seen dogs walking down sidewalks on leashes wearing sweaters and i gotta say, once you remove the human element from the equation, the dog looks like it dressed itself. like a decision was made by a dog. it just looks like a dog going somewhere in a world where dogs are highly intelligent and have appointments they need to get dressed up for. i couldn’t make eye contact with this dog, it was intimidating in its confidence. 

[stylishmarm-blog]

Dogs are stylish Cutesies. I’d like to give this chill dog a shoutout for making some very stylish choices considering how hot sweaters are in the style world rn. 

[stylishben]

I believe that the dogs of modern day are constantly proving to us that they have an independent style that sprouts from a culture of class that is not seen in any other species of house pets. Cats, on the other paw, have negative styles. They might have been worshiped by the Egyptians, but riddle me this pals: If the Egyptians were so smart, how come they’re dead? The answer is apparent; their pet cats had negative styles which gave their owners even more negative styles. They were easily invaded by preppy Persians, who had an arsenal of fashion that overpowered the native Egyptians’ negative styles. However, the Persians wore white togas and gold, which at the time had 7 more styles than cats, but was a short lived style that quickly lost styles until the Persian style made negative bold statements. With the negative styles of the Persian Empire (which would not again prove popular until the age of “Gangsta Fashion” in the 1990′s), Alexander the Dapper was able to to conquer much of the known world. It was only a matter of time, though, before the Macedonians became out dressed by the ritzy Romans under the fashionable command of Julius “Slick” Caesar. This once again caused a style power vacuum that Herodotus famously wrote about centuries later. This reoccurring phenomenon is widely known as a “Fashion Fiasco” and has been the cause of nearly every past civilizations’ destruction. In fact, the incredible series of Fashion Fiascoes has been attributed as the main cause of conflict in the Middle-East today. This lesson on the history of style was brought to you by FASHION.

- Stylish Ben out.