How did you fuck up this time?

Private Multi Muse blog. 

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance​:

Makayla was amused by the fact that even Moose picked up on Ruth’s vibe. The dog never budged a muscle, merely looking at the woman with disinterest. It made the swimmer snicker with amusement. She was willing to bet Evan was pleased. Ruth’s joke only made the temperature in the room rise and causing Mak to shift uncomfortably in her seat. Boy was she starting to regret being fooled. Their mother’s sudden appearance in the room deescalated the situation in efficient timing. Suddenly, she was extremely thankful there was someone in the room that understood these two dynamics better than she could. If anything, she would probably run to Bonnie for help navigating this daunting task. 

The last thing Makayla wanted was to be left alone with them two. There was something rather awkward about knowing she had fucked them both. Primarily, the whole, adopted sister’s thing, but also the brief conversation she exchanged with Ruth prior to them jumping to bed. Ruth had exploited every weakness of hers, and truthfully, made her realize what she wanted from Evan. Though it had been a show, Ruth had given her a hell of a time, and made her feel like everything was unique to just them. Mak hadn’t realized how much she wanted that with Ev until that very moment. All it took was royally fucking up to admit what she needed. To finally work towards an actual relationship with the hockey player.

“A big fan? Oh, just wait, I bet I can spill a lot of secrets about his favorite Olympians. We all stayed in the village together the whole time, so I have a lot of fun stories.” Just thinking about the Olympics was enough to perk the swimmer up. She had the best time in Rio, and honestly, swam some of her best times to date. She couldn’t believe how long ago that had been. “I figured they got that trait somehow. But no worries, I can absolutely bring that conversation to the dinner table.” Mak was willing to bet it would help drown out the…sisterly love. With a pointed glare towards Ruth, the swimmer followed her girlfriend out, noting that the tension in the other hadn’t faltered. Mak had never interacted with siblings much, but she was sure they weren’t supposed to interact like that. 

Normally, the silence between both Mak and Evan was comforting, but given what had previous transpired, fear was starting to blister up. Makayla hadn’t done anything, barely even spoken to Ruth, much less looked at her. What if their issues popped up again, right as they thought they had it all figured out? The swimmer couldn’t stomach the thought of losing the other female again. But once inside the barn, Mak’s fears slowly eased, dark eyes peering around the walls of the place. It was interesting to see how different this room was from hers back where they lived. This one contained a more teen-like vibe, probably from lack of redecorating. She found it entertaining to see the different sides of her girlfriend. “I like it. It’s like your own little home.” She dropped some of the bags they had picked up, making her way over to get a closer look at some photos hanging up on the wall. Her free hand reached down to ruffle through Moose’s fur.

At the explanation for a private room, Makayla’s face scrunched with disdain, her tongue clicking against the roof of her mouth. Of course. Leave it to Ruth to be a dick in her former years, too. “That really doesn’t surprise me. It seems to me like she has an issue with you getting anything in life. Has she always been that way? Or did something happen that fucked her up? I don’t get it…” And she really didn’t. As much as Mak pretended to be a badass when she first met Evan, she truly didn’t have a bad bone in her body, couldn’t even steal any candy bars like her other youth friends. She truly didn’t get the mindset. Her eyebrow raised when Ev’s palm flattened against her stomach, cheeky smile shining through. Mak loved how touchy the other female could get sometimes.

“Yeah, let’s not upset your mom. She’s too precious to endure that grief.” Although, how Bonnie actually tolerated Ruth with love was beyond Mak. At her suggestion, the swimmer chuckled, genuinely contemplating the thought of such a favor. But…Evan was right. Mak would be devastated if she was stripped of her precious medals. “You’re right. The Olympic Committee wouldn’t be too keen on that.” She sighed as if devastated by the realization. “My best form?” She questioned teasingly, her arms sliding easily around the other’s neck, but she knew what Evan meant. Mak’s body improved closer to competition time - all thanks to her dad’s endless training structure. “You’re right, but with the competition so close…” The swimmer trailed off with a gentle bite of her own lip. God knows she wouldn’t be able to withstand their bickering without a drink. “Okay, just one. After that, I’m calling it quits. I can’t risk it affecting my head.”

It was genuinely exciting to be dating an Olympian. Sure, she’d known who Makayla was before Mak had even met her but she’d never played up to how much she appreciated the other when they first met. On that first night, Evan had been nothing except an angry little thing who wanted to wrap Mak around her little finger. She hadn’t even been blindsighted by her stardom despite how aware of it she was. She’d been a very different person all that time ago and although Mak drove her wild, Evan had grown up a lot. She’d shed a lot of the sharp ice flakes that clung to her soul like razor blades… like the sharp ice skates she favoured so much and now her edges were much more rounded. Her heart was a lot more full and patient for Makayla. And fuck, did she love to appreciate Mak for all she was now. 

“It is my own little home. Away from all the crazy in there.” She joked as she looked at her girlfriend with a tender smile. “Although dad will be so excited to hear all your stories. He’ll get a very different kick out of them than I do but we won’t talk about that too much.” An even bigger grin spread across her mouth and she breathed out slowly, looking down at Mak’s stuff now complementing her space. She was surrounded by the people she loved. She had Mak and Moose in her bedroom and her mother and father not too far away. That was all she really needed. Ruth could go play with the electric wire in the rain. 

“There’s nothing to get about Ruth. Adopted kids come with a lot of baggage, Mak. There’s a reason we were taken away or not wanted and well… Ruth got more than she’d ever had and just thought she had the right to abuse it. I guess that meant her little sister too. Non-blood sister. Barely even acquaintances. Enemies...maybe.” She shrugged her shoulders and looked over at Moose, pulling a funny face and making soft noises that made his fluffy ears prick up. It was strange talking so openly about everything these days. It was something she was growing with and was working hard on but Mak supported her all the time. She was lovely like that. A great girlfriend in every respect of the world. 

And that evolution with Mak also came with being more tactile. Sure, she’d always been quite touchy with Mak but that had been sharp nails and harsh hands. Now it was a lot gentler and casual. She ran her hands over Mak’s shoulders when they were standing idly about and rubbed her thigh when she drove. It was all part of her journey and discovering her new love languages when it came to being with the other. 

“Just one, baby.” She whispered as she reached in to brush her lips against Mak’s soft cheeks, rubbing her strong arms with one hand as did. The other continued to skirt over her strong stomach, getting a little bit consumed by the touch. “Because it’s not just your competition head I want in good condition. If you get my drift…” She grinned against Mak’s skin before pulling back a bit. “And yes, best form. Best you’ve looked...just all…” She bit her lip and made a soft groaning sound as she squeezed Mak’s arm muscles again. Maybe she was getting a little carried away now. 

“And if I keep going on then you’ll be doing very little freshening up and a lot of getting naked.” Leaning forward to kiss her hard, she placed her hands on her cheeks and stroked her skin lightly. “I love you. And I’ll love you even more if you keep doing such a good job of not letting me kill my devil of a sister.” Pulling away, she sat down on the bed and fussed over Moose, letting his big head loll in her lap. “I’m really glad you’re here with me.”

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance​:

here’s some sad + happy for the bebes @styxandmedusasstatues​

Winifred found herself outside of the only home she knew. Her tear-streaked cheeks were flushed, and hugged herself to escape the chill of the night. She hated times like these. Hated when her father was too much of a drunk whale to let her have her own life. He would regret the day he put his hands on her. But, unfortunately, that day was not today. No, today, she was too busy trying to forget the feeling of his hands forcing her against the wall. Today, she would forget her split lip, how tender her wrists were, and how her hair sprung crazily out of her ponytail. Today, she would go into a vaguely empty apartment, in a not-so-good part of town, and fall into the arms of the only person in the world that ever touched her with care. 

Her stiff fingers struggled with the apartment keys. Her only solace in this city and she couldn’t even get the goddamn door open. When she finally managed to get the door unlock (after at least a few minutes of desperately jiggling the doorknob), her distressed eyes sought Roxie out. The only thing Winnie could muster right now was enough energy to bawl her eyes out. “R-Rox?” She called out when she didn’t immediately find her, suddenly unable to move any further, exhausting her energy to the point of collapsing at the doorway. Her thoughts swarmed easily and relentlessly. Why was she never good enough for her father? Why did he have to hit her so hard? Why couldn’t she do well enough Her hands pressed against the floor of the crummy apartment, not even remotely questioning why it was sticky there, nor did she attempt to shift where she was to avoid the mess. Working at a bar has desensitized her to Roxie’s messy ways. 

Tears rolled down Winnie’s crimson cheeks, her chest heaved with strong sobs, no longer able to contain the trauma in her body. “Baby, please, I need you.” With all personalities stripped away, Winifred felt exposed, but she knew how much her Roxie loved her. And she couldn’t wait to be held in all-too-bony arms. Squeezing her eyes shut, she leaned her head against the thin door, focusing on steadying her breathing. She never dealt with her emotions well. They remained pent up and stuffed behind the many facades she cherished so much. But now, she felt every surge of emotion, every hit her father landed on her, and most of all, every single disappointment that caused those moments. 

Why did the world hurt people with kind hearts? It was a question that Roxie had asked herself thousands of times since she was a child. Her past had turned her into the person she saw in the mirror today with sallow skin and swollen eyes and a total disregard for the pain that sober reality caused. It was a toxic unwillingness to stare into the eyes of the world and say here i am and this is what you did to me. Instead, she masked the agony and the thoughts that lingered in her mind like ghosts. But winnie was never going to go anywhere with the life she was born into. She’d been condemned by her father’s absence and her mother’s inability to give her daughter a good life. She’d been taken by the grip of greed and she’d not cared at what cost she’d have to fill her own habit. Even if that meant selling her daughter into the hands of people who should be locked up until every part of them rotted. 

But what the world should never have done was hurt Winnie. The world should never have let her brute of a father lay his hands on his beautiful child with her sparky little brain and her beautiful eyes. All of those dreams and all of that joy poured out in a breathtaking smile. No, the world should never have hurt that. When her name was called for the first time through the dingy apartment, Roxie stirred in her bed. The sheets were pulled completely over her and she didn’t remember when she’d crawled beneath them. She wasn’t even sure what she’d taken or how much but at first she thought the voice was an extension of the high. Except hours had gone by and the drugs had trickled away. Then there came a thump and Roxie stirred more, opening her dark eyes at last. 

And then...the moment she realised that this was not a figment of her imagination and that was in fact Winnie’s sad voice, she threw back the covers and rushed to her. The door was thrown open and the moment her eyes landed on Winnie, the breath was knocked out of her chest. Her lip. Her blemished skin. The state of her hair. Someone had marked her. Someone had dared lay their fucking hands on her. She collapsed to her knees beside the blonde and grasped her with her hands. “I’m here. I’ve got you...” She breathed as she rose up to kiss the top of her head. She could feel her eyes growing hot. Her arms wrapped around Winnie’s body, cradling her against her chest. “I’ll kill them. Whoever laid a hand on you I will kill them, Winnie.” She sniffed. They needed to get her washed. She needed new clothes. Then she needed to be warm and in bed. But for now, she just pulled her in tight. “I’ve got you, baby. Fuck, I’ve got you.”

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance​:

“Oh I know she does. Evan talks about her amazing parents and their farm all the time.” Makayla conversed easily with her girlfriend’s parents. She was amazed that they were so…friendly. Evan had a harsh exterior, but beneath the surface, the swimmer could see she shared some of her mother’s personality. The athlete felt oddly content sitting on the couch with a big ole lap dog. She could see why Evan escaped here every chance she got. It was how she pictured a family would be. Mak’s father tried hard for her, but even his tough exterior was as inviting as this household. He was as much of a trainer outside of the water as he was in their pool. 

It was odd for Makayla to see family dynamics, but she enjoyed it immensely. Evan’s mother was warm and hospitable. And Moose - well, she enjoyed the soft grunts he made as she scratching him under his chin. Her father never let her have pets. He deemed them too much of a distraction. They required more time than he wanted her to give. At Bonnie’s question, a warm smile drew up her lips, happy to be somewhere comforting. “I’ll take a water, if you don’t mind. I would normally take you up on alcoholic beverages, but with my competition so soon, well, I’d rather keep my wits about me.” Although, depending on how the night goes, Mak might be at the end of a bottle eventually. 

The swimmer couldn’t help but lean into Evan’s soft touch. It was a big step for them both, and she was truly proud to see the other blossoming. She had expected some sort of retreating, but she should have known better. Evan was a woman of her word, and she had promised to give this her all. “Your mom is an absolute doll.” She murmured blissfully unaware their soft moments would shift quite soon. “And Moose? He might have to come back with us.” Mak’s voice turned singsongy as she scratched him behind his ears. “He’s such a cutie.” She mused at him, happily accepting the kisses he gave her.

Makayla was too busy crooning over Moose’s cute face to hear the gravel crunch under a set of tires. The only indication something was amiss was Evan’s suddenly change in demeanor. Her relaxed tone had drastically shifted. It seemed like every fiber of her muscles was defensive. Before the swimmer could question the matter, a familiar tone shattered the feeling of security in the household. As Ruth rounded the corner, Mak’s eyes shifted straight to the floor, her cheeks flooding with embarrassment.

It would have happened sooner or later, but Mak thought she was way more prepared. But seeing Evan pulled into a forced hug was enough to knock her confidence down. Ruth truly lived to see her little sister uncomfortable. The athlete’s jaw set in a stony resolve, not bothering to pick herself up from the couch. Ruth wasn’t going to get a greeting from her. Not after what she did. Her honey eyes flicked over to Evan in an attempt to pick up any cues from her. The hockey player was calling the shots this time. “You better be talking to the dog.” She huffed, fingers still tangled in Moose’s fur, only proving her unwillingness to budge.

Makayla knew this was going to be trouble. She’d, somehow, have to act like she hadn’t fucked both of the Carrow girls. What a great situation she was in. How the hell were Evan’s parents supposed to like her now? “Evan - do you want to show me to your room?” It was more than a room, she knew that, but she needed anything to get out of this space. With Ruth near them, it was almost suffocating to be there. “We can get washed up for dinner? I’m sure your mom wouldn’t want us sweating over the table, right?” 

Ruth was aware of how Makayla might feel towards her. That night she’d had the Olympian eating out of her hands as she stroked her ego and told her how cold Evan could be but after the hazy lust had worn off and her little sister had barged into her own room and pulled out the sad act, Mak had turned on her. And it had been a great fuck. Not one that Ruth was going to write home about but it wasn’t horrible. She’d used weaker men for much worse and briefer gains. But it didn’t mean that she didn’t recall the power she’d had over Mak in those moments, coaxing her in with false bashfulness, fluttering eyelashes and a few muscle touches. Women could be just as weak as men.

“Moose doesn’t like my cuddles. Which is fine.” She shrugged her shoulders and kept her attention on Makayla. Evan was straight about ready to kick out the back of her knees and use her as a walkway for them to leave the room on. And then when Mak prompted them both, Ruth leant against the sofa. “We can swear somewhere else if you ask really nicely.” Ruth’s voice dropped and her eyes were dangerous. It was clear it was a joke...a joke in bad taste by any measure but despite the attempt at humour, Evan had begun to seethe next to them.

“Get fucked, Ruth. Hopefully by a really sharp...”

“Sounds like a wonderful idea, Makayla!” Bonnie’s voice interjected the slowly simmering remarks slipping from Evan’s mouth. Her mother was beaming at them all from the kitchen, a tea towel in her hands as she set the glass of water on the counter for Mak. “Go unpack and show our guest where everything is and then I’m sure your father will be done pottering around. He’ll be so excited to see you, Makayla. He’s a big fan! But he can never just abandon a job that man. As stubborn as his daughters.” Her eyes were kind as she turned away once more and began to pull bowls of food from the large fridge.

Evan’s teeth clamped and she stared at her sister. “If you say one more shitty thing, i’ll be force-feeding you dinner through a straw.” She hissed before squeezing Mak’s shoulder. “Come on, we’ll go get our stuff from the car.” Her voice was calmer as she addressed Mak but her shoulders were still squared. Turning away, she headed back through the front door and headed for the car. Moose hopped up and followed after, his big tail swishing. The outer building slash barn was not far from the main home and Evan carried all the bags she could toward it, the anger at her sister unlocking a stubborn and superior strength.

As she pulled open the door, it creaked loudly and Moose slipped joyfully inside and hopped up onto the heavy, fur cover on the large bed. “So...this is my little slice of privacy.” She said as she dropped their bags. For a barn, it had clearly been done up fairly well. The floor was laminate wood and had a bedroom space and a singular other room off to the side, complete with a tiny bathroom and washroom. Behind the bed, a ladder led up to the rafters and a ledge. “Dad felt bad for me because Ruth would dominate our bedroom and lock me out of the bathroom. So he spent most of an autumn with a few buddies sorting all this.” She stroked Moose’s head and then turned to Mak.

Sighing, she slipped her hands beneath her shirt and rested her palms flat on her toned stomach. “I hate her. And I might kill her over dinner but my mom would cry so I can’t...” She sighed again and dug her nails in ever so slightly. “Couldn’t you do it? No, your heart is too good for that and you’ve got so much to lose...” She lifted a hand and softly brushed Mak’s hair back off her face. “Can’t you even have one little drink? I want you to relax. You’re in the best form ever.”

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance​:

A conversation changed everything. A conversation initiated by Evan, actually changed everything. It was bizarre to think, especially given how their last conversation left Mak feeling like everything was final between them. She couldn’t make her own fatal mistake disappear. Couldn’t make things any better. And she definitely couldn’t shake the image of the other’s devastated face out of her brain. Makayla had nearly lost everything that day over such a shitty decision. Ruth played her like the goddamn fiddle she was that day. But not anymore. 

Mak knew where her focus needed to be. Swimming and this newfound relationship. She would be damned if anyone took either of those things away from her. “Honestly?” She called back, her smirk hidden by the fact she was ahead of the other. “You telling me how you got that black eye would make me pretty wet…” There was something about the roughness that turned her on. Makayla was always drawn to Evan for her endless taunts and how she was never afraid to be cutthroat. In truth, the few practices she had attended made her crave a certain side of Evan’s. Not the powerful hits to the torso, of course, but that dedication. Mak thought she had seen enough of that in bed, but Ev in her focused zone? Well, that was a force to be reckoned with. 

Once they entered the showers, it took Makayla an embarrassingly longer time than she realized to peel off the swimsuit. While custom mades suits were amazing in the water, they were less amazing when she craved a woman’s touch. She almost had enough time to look sheepish before Evan pressed her against the brick wall of the shower block. “I get a new side of you every time,” She didn’t mean the statement as an insult, but instead, a genuine comment. Ev amazed her every time they went to bed because she always discovered something new. As the other woman pulled her into a dizzying kiss, one hand grasped the base of Ev’s neck while the other grappled with the knob on the wall. 

“I have missed fucking you.” She breathed the sentiment out softly, barely registering the fact that cold water was falling on her bare skin. It was much colder than the pool she was in, but her mind and body were distracted by how much she craved intimacy with Evan. A feeling she never allowed herself to fully embrace. They barely had a second apart before Makayla pressed another feverish kiss against the hockey player, savoring the familiar taste. Everything about Evan clashed so harshly against her sister’s. There was no lip gloss. There was no faux compliments. There was Evan. 

Evan with her dazzling smile that nearly brought Makayla to her knees every single time she made it happen. Evan with her stupidly good retorts. Evan with fingers that used to make her ache with more than she could give. Evan who was now opening up and giving them what they both deserved. A fresh, new start. And the other woman was certainly right. She didn’t know what she was in for, but god, she was so willing to find out what would come from this newness. Her own fingers grasped at the other’s bare skin, palming softly at the other’s breast. Even after so long, Evan’s body was still familiar territory.

The swimmer pulled back for a moment, her lips only a few centimeters away from the other’s, “Have you missed it?” She questioned curiously as she brushed her lips leisurely against the side of Evan’s neck . She wanted to know, even if the honesty would hurt her. She wouldn’t blame Evan if she hadn’t given them much thought. But she needed to know. She wanted to see if she was the only one that had spent too much time in bed thinking about their previous encounters with her fingers inching their way up her own thighs. Countless nights wishing she could trade things in for one hooray in bed with Evan, even if it meant never seeing her again. Sex was their own fucked up love language, and she was very aware of that.

When Mak’s back hit the shower wall, Evan’s eyes actually flashed with want. The sentiment that slipped through the swimmer’s lips only fuelled that part of her, causing a low hum to escape her throat as she sank tantalising closer to Mak’s ready mouth. “And you love every side...” She whispered against Mak’s mouth, groaning loudly onto her tongue as the other held tightly to the back of her neck. And while the moment was heated and delicious, the water suddenly pouring from the showerhead caused her to release a shocked gasp against her lover’s lips. The fact Mak barely seemed phased wasn’t a surprise but Evan felt her senses soar. Suddenly, even nerve was on its edge. The cold water had poured fuel on the fire and Mak was going to make it roar. 

“Fucking me?” She asked breathlessly between kisses, feeling the water rush over her body. It soaked her hair and dampened her heated skin. “Sweet to think you’ll be fucking me...” She breathed, barely a whisper of a sound above the water as she claimed Mak’s mouth again and again. Fervent lips and hungry tongues. The familiar and enjoyable taste that only Mak could offer her. The way Mak’s hands felt on her body that no one else could even dream to recreate. No one had ever touched her the way that Makayla did and she hoped, somewhere deep in her heart, that no one ever would. 

Their story wasn’t exactly pretty and there were a lot of moments that they weren’t proud of but all of those moments, no matter how painful, were them. Without those moments, Evan may not have arrived to the thought process that she’d arrived with that day; the harsh realisation that she was totally in love with the person that had got so effectively beneath her skin she’d made a permanent place there. 

When Mak’s hands touched her breasts, she let out soft and pleasured hums against her lips. Some were swallowed by the rush of the water or the sounds of the pipework but Mak would be able to feel them against her mouth or if she looked, she’d see the ways Evan’s features changed. The way her eyebrows creased slightly or her lips twitched. All of these signs were signs that Mak would know because she’d broken down Ev’s walls; the woman that had sworn she didn’t want people to see the vulnerability of pleasure in her face had trusted Mak enough to give that all to her. And now, her features told more about her feelings than ever. 

“Missed it?” She breathed as Mak’s mouth worked her neck. She lifted a hand and buried it deep into the swimmer’s locks, embracing the beautiful feeling of the damp curls. She wasn’t much of a cuddler but there had been an occasion where she’d shuffled sleepily behind Mak and huffed at the hair tickling her nose. Little things that were so Mak and so intimate to them. And for once, or for the first time, she knew she’d pander to Mak’s ego. She’d openly voice her advances. She’d tell her what she wanted to hear because it was exactly what she felt.

“Yes...” She groaned, her fingers flexing as they gripped a little more firmly. Her other hand wandered down Mak’s side, over her ribs and across her thigh until she palmed her ass shamelessly. “I’d think about you and it’d make my body ache...” She turned her head enough so her words were laboured and lustful against Mak’s ear. “My fingers never felt like yours. Nothing felt like your tongue or your cock...” She laughed, a soft laugh followed by a hum. Her hand shifted to Mak’s front and slipped between them, slipping down between Mak’s toned legs. “But I missed how you sound...how wet you get...how sometimes you look at me and all i see is this unspoken plea for me to get you over the edge...” She ran her fingers languidly through Mak’s heat. “I missed you.” 

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance​:

Mak couldn’t help but grin at the other’s comment. It was way too late, actually. They were here. This was happening. Like, actually happening. “Behave myself? I’m an angel.” Purely jesting, of course. Mak has her terrible moments. Given that she had met both Carrow kids, though, she figured her parents could handle pretty much anything walking through that door. At Ev’s comment, she took a moment to connect the pieces, still adjusting to the other’s family life. It explained a lot, specifically why she had fucked Evan’s sister without a clue in the world to their relations. They were practically polar opposites.

“Wait, a fight?” And though she knew parents would be arriving soon, the swimmer found herself dazed and concerned. The last thing she wanted was to pull Evan away from a fight with her sister. Weren’t siblings supposed to get along? But also…weren’t siblings supposed to, you know, not intentionally fuck their significant other? Mak hadn’t quite figured out this whole sister dynamics yet. “Um, will I get a warning sign when that happens to prepare or should I just steer away from the punches?” Half joking but still very aware that could be the reality of the situation.

“Ah, gotcha, I’ll avoid her the best I can then,” Her smile was there, but the twinkle of concern in her eyes was very apparent until Evan’s light fingers skimmed across her cheek. Mak leaned into the soft gesture, wanting so badly to take the other into her arms and reassure her things would be just fine. Even the other’s joke was forceful. “Never. Now you on the other hand? Just make sure not to pass me the bread. I’ll have to excuse myself from the table.” They has never truly cleared the air about that situation. 

Before they could speak more on the situation, a sudden streak of black fluff rushed the room, causing Evan to collide with her and ultimately, pulling both of their attention away. Mak couldn’t even stop the big smile on her lips, absolutely smitten with the bundle of joy practically launching himself at Ev. “Well hey there, Mr. Moose!” Makayla reached the short distance to him and tangled her fingers in his fluff. Definitely a farm dog with all that energy. Hearing a new voice in the room, the swimmer glanced up, slightly embarrassed she’d been too engrossed in the dog to notice Evan’s mother.

“Hi, Mrs. Carrow. It’s nice to finally meet you.” At the word ‘finally,’ her eyes flickered towards Evan playfully as she enveloped her mom in a rather comfortable hug. Who knew they would have made it to the point of parental introductions? “Bonnie it is! The drive wasn’t too bad at all. I spent most of the time making sure Evan didn’t run us off the road,” Mak couldn’t help but tease. Her own form of PG styled flirting. When she pulled back from Ev’s mother’s hug, she was surprised to see Evan’s hand waiting to guide her to the next room. A definite change from before.

Thankfully, she was the only one to hear the snide comment about Ruth. Her free hand tapped lightly at the other’s arm. “Be nice for your mom.” She mouthed, but she knew it was futile to get Evan on her best behavior. And to be completely honest, she knew Ruth deserved Evan’s wrath for crossing a line. Hell, Makayla still deserved it, too. At Evan’s request, she settled into the comfortable sofa, eyes gazing around the countryside decorations. “I’m sure dinner will be lovely. It’s great to meet you guys. My dad would love this house and the view.” It felt awkward mentioning her father, but only because he had been a thorn in her side lately.

Evan didn’t have any plan to fight Ruth but when it came to their equally sparky dispositions, it was difficult to predict what was coming next. In her mind, she’d tried to make peace with the event that had occurred between Mak and her sister but there was always going to be a little voice in her head that taunted her or a flashback of the way Mak had looked at her as her fingers moved across Ruth’s body. Ruth had been in it to ruin her and Mak had just been a pawn in their fucked up game but it didn’t make it hurt any less. It didn’t mean that she hadn’t wanted to pull away sometimes when Mak touched her in the aftermath because she knew where those hands had been. She loved Mak and she loved her from the bottom of her thawing heart but she didn’t think she’d forget that moment for as long as she lived. Forgive, yes...but forget...no. 

But she was glad to see Mak so calm. She was glad to see her humour was on form but she didn’t need to be anyone except herself for the night because her parents would like her for her, Evan knew that much. Mak was beautiful and charming and the perfect person to bring home because a tiny detail was also that she was a celebrated Olympic athlete. That was a pretty big deal, especially to her father. Her mother, on the other hand, would adore Mak just for making her baby daughter happy. And Evan could tell from the big grin on her mother’s face that she was pleased already. 

“I’m an excellent driver. You should see me with my snow chains on heading into town to pick up the essentials. Now that is a fun ride.” She retorted with a fond grin, trying to suppress any thoughts of her sister for the moment as she just focused on her mother and a very excited Moose. And Makayla of course but that was a given. The woman dominated her attention all the time these days when she wasn’t training. Even then, Evan might creep into the pool to watch and wolf whistle playfully. 

When she was chided, she grumbled and looked away from her lover. She’d say whatever the fuck she wanted. Ruth deserved it. When Mak took a seat, Moose instantly owned his ‘lap dog’ status despite his hulking size and hauled himself up beside the swimmer, rubbing against her side. 

“Oh, we are so glad you could come! We don’t have a lot but this house is very special to us. Evan’s father loves the farm. It has a lot of good memories.” Bonnie’s eyes moved to Evan and observed her the way that only a mother can as they reminisced over long lost years with their child. “Can I get you a drink, Makayla? A soft drink? An alcoholic one? A hot one? I feel like a bartender.” She laughed excitedly and moved to the connected kitchen when prompted. Ev sniffed and moved to rub Moose’s big head before lighting touching Mak’s cheek. 

However, it was the sound of tyres on gravel that made Ev look up, shoulders instantly stiffening and jaw tightening. The car doors clicked shut outside and moments later the front door opened. “Dad said he’ll be in in a sec!” A voice called out as shoes were kicked against the wall. “Thinks I’ve got a flat.” And then, with two big shopping bags in hands, Ruth appeared into the living room with a big grin on her face. Instantly, the bags were placed down and Ruth beamed.

“Evvie!” And despite her sharp tongue and athleticism, Evan couldn’t moved fast enough as she was hauled into a hug she was writhing in instantly.  “Get off.” She grumbled, pushing at Ruth’s stomach. Her mother, already, barked out a soft scolding of behave from the kitchen. 

“Oh and Mak is here! The whole family is together! Mom, can I have a wine?” She bumped past Evan. Moose lifted his head, sniffed Ruth’s leg and then lowered himself again. “Don’t I get a cuddle? Its been so long since we saw one another.” 

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance​:

let’s bring Ruth back!!!!!!!!! For Chaos!!!!! @styxandmedusasstatues​

Makayla had grown used to their new, tender lifestyle. They still teased one another relentlessly, but their lives were full of laughter (and maybe the occasional fight). The stormy weather in their lives finally passed. Both of the athletes grew more comfortable. Mak has finally started to see the layers of Evan. And each new layer that was revealed fascinated her more than the prior. The swimmer hadn’t known she could love something more than swimming, but here it all was. “You sure you want me meeting your parents?” She teased, her dark eyes drinking in the nice looks of Minnesota. Surprisingly, she had never been there, never even thought she would make it there. It always seemed too cold and relentless. She preferred her nice, Colorado weather instead. 

But when Evan asked for company visiting family, she couldn’t turn down the opportunity. Makayla knew there would be endless childhood stories tossed around, and she wanted to hear them all. Part of her, too, wanted to hear how things truly were for Evan and Ruth. The last time she had seen Ruth, there were a few stories told, and one in particular still felt off. The hockey player never struck Mak as being “popular” in high school. She was too independent and unbending. Those girls generally had a mindset, but that was nowhere to be found. Mak hoped to do some prodding during this visit to see how trustworthy that story actually was. Given how damning Ruth had been to their relationship, Mak was willing to be nothing was true of it. 

“I’m excited to break out the baby book. Do you have any cute photos of you on ice skates?” Though sarcastic, the swimmer truly was excited. This was a huge step. Evan worked hard to keep her family life a secret when they first met. Hell, Mak hadn’t even discovered her full name for awhile there, and when she did, she used it to her own advantage. This time, though, there was no advantage. She truly wanted to learn everything she could about the younger Carrow. “Um, also, Ev. Can I ask a question without starting a fight?” They had arrived at the steps of the house, Makayla’s hand settling softly on top of her lover’s hand. “Is, uh, is your sister going to be around?” It felt awkward to ask, truly, but if she was going to be here, she needed to know what she was going to face. 

“It’s obviously not an issue if she is. I only wanted to know so I could resist the urge to throw up every time she speaks.” Mak tried to turn it more into a joke, but she knew how sensitive the topic was to Evan. They had stopped speaking because of this. Total silence. Not even a “u up?” text in sight. The last thing she wanted to do was walk in on such a tense moment. “And if she is, is she only staying for dinner or will she be here the whole time…?” In other words, the swimmer wanted to know how long she’d be stuck dealing with calming a dragon down.

Evan could feel butterflies in her stomach as she adjusted her hands on the wheel of the car. In many ways, she was still in disbelief that the person in the seat next to her was actually her girlfriend but alongside those brief moments of confusion, there were long periods of complete happiness. It had definitely been a learning curve for Evan...adjusting into a relationship with Makayla but it was positive. She was calmer, less abrasive and was a lot more focused on what was in front of her. All in all, she could feel the gentler parts of herself returning. Like a dove with an olive branch coming home to herself. “Am I sure? Bit late to ask me that, I’ve been driving for hours.” She laughed, reaching across to squeeze Mak’s thigh. “Only if you behave yourself though.” She warned in jest, knowing that her parents were used to firecrackers and Mak was someone they’d definitely like. Who couldn’t like that cheeky smile? Who wouldn’t want a US Olympian in their home? Her dad would lose his fucking mind. 

“Oh I’m sure mom has a shit ton of photos of me hidden away somewhere. You have to take loads of photos of adopted kids because it makes them seem more like your own.” She joked, knowing it was a little on the nose but Mak knew by now. She’d told her about her family dynamic. The mother that had left her to defend herself without a hope in the world. Sure, she’d also told Mak that Ruth had been adopted because her parents had made a bad deal with the devil but...there was an element of truth there. As she pulled into the familiar, long drive of the farm, she took in a deep breath and grinned at her girlfriend. “Be prepared.” She warned her playfully before pushing open the door. She only grabbed her backpack before leading Mak up to the front of the home. It was big but it wasn’t grand. Her dad had reinforced most of the walls himself over the year but it was good enough to hold up in the winter so it did the job really.

“Without starting a fight? You’re optimistic.” Evan teased before looking across at the other. But still, she let her face relax when Mak held her hand as tenderly as she did. And then the question was asked and Evan’s eyebrows shot up almost instantly. It had been a long time since the incident and Evan chose not to think about it now she had Mak but she had known this trip would drag it forward a little bit. “Throw up? I wouldn’t worry too much about holding yourself back. It’s me you’ll have to tear off her.” She stated with more of a lighthearted tone than she felt. She hadn’t seen Ruth properly since and it wouldn’t be out of the question for Evan to stab the bitch. Sister. Right, that’s what she was supposed to call her. 

“If I knew what that woman did with herself, I’d let you know. Mom said she’s gonna be around but she comes and goes as she pleases...” She reached over and lightly touched Mak’s cheek. “Just...” Her nostrils flared a little. “Don’t...don’t y’know get too worked up if she offers you some potato salad.” She smiled tightly, forcing herself to make the joke but instead she quickly turned and opened the door to the farmhouse. Instantly, there was the sound of thumping and nails on wood and a bundle of black whooshed around the corner. The big bundle of fluff collided with Evan, knocking her sideways into Mak. “This is Moose!” She laughed, pressing her hands to his cheeks. 

A woman appeared at the end of the hallway. She had long red hair in two messy braids and a brilliant smile. When she laid her eyes on Mak and Evan, it brightened even more. “There she is.” 

Evan pulled away from Moose, who quickly moved onto harassing Mak’s legs with his bulky body, and pulled her mother into a hug. With her arm still around her, she indicated at Mak. “Mom, this is Makayla.” 

Evan’s mother moved toward Mak and reached in to pull her into a tight hug. “Oh, you must be so tired. There’s not much to look at on the drive is there?” She squeezed Mak’s arms as she pulled back. “Your father will be so excited, Evan. Call me Bonnie. They’ll be back soon.” Evan’s eyebrows rose sharply again as she ushered her mother down the hallway into the living room. She took hold of Mak’s hand and pulled her with her. Moose trotted happily alongside.

“Oh yes, your father took Ruth to the store. She insisted she pay for the spread.” 

Evan grumbled. “Make a change for her to be paying for something to be spread.” She said beneath her breath before indicating the large sofa to Mak. “Take a seat, babe. Moose will want to clamber all over you.” 

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance​:

Mak avoided looking at the other’s expressions for too long. Ev had a habit of wearing her thoughts, and given how touching this situation was, the swimmer was willing to bet there was a lot going on in her head right now. Even the sass spewed between Evan’s lips didn’t bother her for once. Mak knew this defensive was due to opening up. It was something she needed to realize and start to rationalize with in order to get where they need. She’d take whatever sass she needed if it meant hearing Evan tell her she was loved. Her mouth shot open to defend herself from the tease, but that huge grin stopped her, savoring the tease instead. “Oh? You like this look then, huh?” And though she didn’t say it, it was probably a good thing. Makayla doubted she’d wear much else these next few months. 

“Does that mean you’re going to get all hot and bothered if you ever watch me from the stands?” She jeered softly, more than ecstatic to be on joking terms. She loved seeing Evan in her gentle state, but there was something about their return to normalcy that placated her more. “Nah, I wouldn’t necessarily consider you a bitch…” Mak paused for a moment, trying to figure out exactly what she’d coin the other. “Maybe a tough nut to crack. How about that?” God knows she had spent awhile trying to get this to happen. But she guessed that was where it went wrong. She was pressuring Evan to do things on her own terms rather than what felt right for the other.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Got a bit carried away. I’ve just…been holding it in, I guess.” It was Mak’s turn to look sheepish again, blood pooling in her cheeks. Leave it to her to go overboard. Whatever, Evan needed to get used to it. Her sheepishness transitioned back to cockiness easily as her own lips touched the hockey player’s. It was the type of kiss that threw her back to the first few times they had sex. It was pure animalistic lust. And this…well, it was lust with a touch of that. More so the type couples indulge in. Mind blowing. She was sure her normal taste was clouded by the pool, but Evan didn’t seem to mind one bit. 

When they pulled back, Mak found herself wanting more, hoping for more. The other’s fingerprints were still firmly in her wetsuit. “It’s going to be one hell of a challenge.” She popped back softly, impressed with the lack of care for her damp swimsuit. “Although, if you aren’t careful, you might find yourself more wet than you’d like. I did get out of the pool recently.” Not that it mattered nor was it what Mak wanted. She was more than tempted to take the other woman right where she was standing. It had been way too long. After their last fuck, Mak had sworn she wouldn’t have another woman until after her competition. Sex was too much of a distraction for her current state. 

But also…given her current blockage, it could help her focus more. “Although, there is a bit of time before my coach comes…” And this time, she drank in the sight of the woman before her, black eye and all. “You could help me out with a problem.” Makayla tried to keeep her tone casual, but the feelings blooming inside of her made that impossible. “We could get wet in other ways while you tell me about how you got that black eye.” With the proposition out there, the swimmer flashed a playful smile, forcefully slipping her cap off and letting her curls bounce out. “So anyways, I think I need a shower and a small break.” She began to walk off, putting distance between them, and heading towards the pool.

“You’re welcome to leave and meet me later tonight if you want. Coach will have me here for awhile. Otherwise, I’d suggest taking off that outfit of yours and coming to join me in the showers.” It wasn’t like anyone was around this time. Previously, there had been a few earlier swimmers, but with her event near, Makayla didn’t need anyone distracting her from her laps. With that, came empty showers for her to do whatever else she’d like with them. And right now, nothing sounded better than seeing Evan bare. 

Evan knew Mak well and, although it was hard to admit, Makayla knew her as well. Sure, Evan hid her emotions much more effectively than Mak did but she’d long relieved the heart on her sleeve impression when it had been turned against her. Plus, feelings were terrifying to Evan. She’d never been in a real relationship that didn’t involve her using the situation for her own gain or to get something she wanted but now....she wanted someone. She wanted Mak because she did know her. She wanted Mak because she made her feel special. She wanted Mak because she could stand there in a ridiculous swimming cap and goggles and still look like a goddess. But even when Mak pried, Evan just narrowed her eyes a little as an answer. Mak knew she found her attractive. Heck, Evan would have never have fucked her if she wasn’t somewhat attracted to her. She wasn’t that bad. 

“I’m gonna get real hot and bothered in a minute if you keep pushing your luck and it’s not gonna be in the way you want it to be.” She remarked in response to Mak’s crowd comment. But Evan was smiling, her face a picture of the truth for once. She’d be Mak’s number one fan without her even having to ask. Although they’d never spoken about it, Evan could list a hundred reasons that Mak deserved to do better than anyone else. She could find a hundred ways that Mak committed herself to her sport and sure, their oldest argument was the conflict between swimming and ice hockey but Evan wasn’t ever going to be a decorated athlete. She didn’t have medals or her name in newspapers. Mak was the real deal. She worked so hard. She applied herself to training and competing and Evan wanted to tell her that she’d be there for her but...she wondered if Mak already knew. 

“Tough nut to crack?” She asked, mocking an expression of disgruntled shock. “You’re lucky you don’t have any nuts I can crack if you’re gonna get your smart mouth out.” Her eyebrow rose dangerously, almost willing Makayla to push her luck. But this was them. They were never going to be sickeningly sweet to the core. Evan basked in the way they went back and forth. She loved that Mak was her match and could put her in her place when she was being too much. And sure, the last few months hadn’t been a reflection of the real them but now was their time to discover who they really were. Who they could both be when they were open about their feelings. 

But there would still be that edge. Evan’s sharp tongue and Mak’s brazen attitude. It was in the way they kissed, passionate and unforgiving. But now, it meant something to her. Now, when Evan kissed her, Mak might finally be able to feel like Evan wasn’t just here for the hell of it. Now, when they kissed, hopefully, Mak wouldn’t feel like she was waiting on the moment that Evan would run. 

“If you make one more joke like that we’re gonna fall out and I’m trying really hard to be nice.” She laughed, although the undertones and implications made her bite her lip. Mak turned her on. Mak set her body on fire and it was completely natural. It was the slightest touches that made her skin prickle. It was the briefest glances that made her clench her thighs together and succumb to her desire. When they’d been miles apart over the break, Mak’s voice had made her mind spin as her own fingers moved between her thighs. And maybe that was why it was so hard for Evan, because Mak had reign over her reactions and there was nothing Evan could do. Fuck, why should she want to do anything? 

“A problem?” Her voice was a little slower, her eyes more curious. “Is me telling you about how I got a black eye going to lead to you getting wet or...?” And now she could feel the desire seeping into her stomach; lust for this gorgeous woman. “Oh...” She murmured as Mak released her hair from her hat and instantly Evan wanted another kiss. She wanted Mak’s mouth on her. “Outfit? It’s not a costume!” She shot back but she knew it was pointless and already she was wandering after the swimmer. She had flashbacks to their last time in the showers. Mak had scared the fucking life out of her and Ev had been desperate to claw back her high walls. 

Rolling her eyes, Evan entered the shower block and instantly started to shed her clothes. Jacket, jeans, shirt, bra...all of it was thrown onto a nearby changing bench. And when she turned to Mak, her eyes were wide and ready. “You have no idea what you’re in for, Grant...” She breathed before moving closer to other, pushing her hand against her chest and guiding her back against one of the walls. Leaning forward, she captured her mouth again, both hands grasping her jaw as she curved her body into her. 

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance​:

“I’m sorry, I’m listening,” Mak’s voice softened enormously, purely because she was too busy admiring the splotch of red on the other’s cheeks. The swimmer hadn’t forgotten how beautiful Evan looked, but she loved to admire her, no matter how many times she had seen that same sight before. There was something timeless about the hockey player. Something in the Olympian’s bones that made her feel the sense of comfort she had forever longed to feel. The light graze of Ev’s fingers distracted her momentarily, longing for more than just that touch. Mak hadn’t felt the other in far too long. Even their rough nights meant some sort of contact, and without that, she felt utterly lost and off her game. Despite the serious moment, Mak couldn’t help but let out a faint chuckle at the sight of the Ev’s nose scrunch. Now that she had forgotten. Before she could catch herself, her index finger raised, resting itself on the bridge of the other woman’s nose. 

“I know it’s hard for you…” And Mak truly did. There had been plenty of bad moments, but among them, there were sprinkles of happiness. There was one point where staying over each other’s place had become a norm. While the sex they had was truly fatiguing, there were a few times it was obvious they both enjoyed each other’s company. On those nights, Mak found herself putting on some television show, expecting to hear Evan leave, but instead, feeling the weight of the other shift in her bed to watch whatever it was with her. Mak never said anything those nights. She knew how fragile the situation was and wasn’t willing to ruin it. Well…up until she did ruin it…

Mak suddenly looked bashful, eyes staring directly at the ground. “Sorry, I’m supposed to listen.” She was really trying, truly, but she hadn’t talked to Ev in so long. Every sentence felt like it deserved a response. Her excitation was starting to show. The more she listened, the harder it was for her to resist responding. Every syllable falling from the lips she longed to kiss lifted her heart up more. How long had she waited for this moment? Entirely too long, but god, it was worth it to see the look in Evan’s eyes. To hear the sound of ‘I love you’ finally pass between them. It felt like Mak could see each other clearly for the first time in awhile. The swimmer couldn’t help the goofy smile that came over her, taking control of her facial muscles. 

“You’re scared of losing me?” Her own voice mirrored the crack of the other’s. The hesitation behind the words heavy. Mak knew that the other held more inside of her than she was willing to admit. But there was one thing that Evan had always held for herself and that was her word. The other rarely said things she didn’t mean, especially when it came to feelings. The swimmer knew this acknowledgement was what they needed to move past the bitterness between them. “I never realized you had a way with words.” Mak pulled her head back from the others, but her fingers never left Ev’s lower back. It was obvious she was teasing her in an attempt to make this feel as comfortable as possible. 

Evan was admitting things that made her flighty, but for once, she didn’t look ready to run. She wanted to face things head on, and Makayla was more than willing to meet her halfway. “You can be scared of letting yourself open up. It’s scary letting me in, I know, but…” She paused for a moment, trying hard to piece the words together in her head before letting it all out. “I’m here, Ev. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I want to know about you. I want to learn from you.” Her voice was soft, but not patronizing, genuinely opening up to the other woman. “I love you even when you’re stubborn. I love you even when you ignore me for weeks. I love you even though I made a stupid ass choice. I want to work on this between us because god knows I’m scared of losing you too.”

No lover had ever shown Evan the gentleness and tenderness than Makayla had. Sure, there were moments that were far from both of those as the older brunette made her cry out with lust, bruises already appearing on her hips but also...Mak touched her in a way that was sweet and unassuming. Even the little touch to her scrunched nose, although it did make Evan want to bite her finger off a little bit, was completely unlike anything she’d ever received. And she knew it all came from a good place. She knew it all came from the depths of Makayla’s big and beautiful heart. Because there was such passion inside the swimmer and incredible lust for life that Evan hoped would be contagious. She needed it. She needed it as much as she needed Mak as her own. Nose taps and all. 

I know it’s hard for you. When Mak spoke, Evan could have bit back and told her that she had no idea but she’d have been jumping down her throat for no reason. Of course, that wasn’t underheard of for Evan but when Mak said it...the hockey player knew she was being sincere. She could understand how Evan felt. She’d known her for long enough and she’d been subjected to her in a lot of situations. She’d had her chance to observe Evan when she was aroused, happy, angry, sad, more angry...or more pretending to be overly annoyed with something Mak had done. Not that there had ever been any real malice behind it. Mak had never really done anything wrong. Had she done things that had hurt Evan? Yes. Wrong and beyond redemption? Never. 

Mak had welcomed her with open arms. She’d kissed her sweetly as their skin cooled down to a normal temperature. There had been times when Evan had gone against her better judgement and let Makayla into her mind just because she knew that she was such a good person. And fuck, she’d be a good person for Evan. To level out a lot of the fears and rash decisions. To try and make her see herself as good too. Perhaps, Evan thought, her ego and the facade she put up had never been that strong. Or maybe she’d wanted Mak to be able to break it down and see what was beneath. And that was the exposed and vulnerable Evan...who was stood in front of her...opening her heart and uttering I love you. 

“That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” She stated with a sigh, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. She knew there was no need to get prickly with the other but she was scared. She did feel exposed but if she just reminded herself that this was Mak then...she’d be ok. “And don’t be a smartarse. It doesn’t suit you as well as the swim cap and goggles look does.” And then she was smiling...a big old, coy smile that lit up her eyes. She was safe in Mak’s touch. She could settle her and still her mind. She could try and be herself for the best of them both. 

And then came the admissions. The tender words. The things that did make Evan want to wiggle out of Mak’s grip but she knew that she had to keep her feet planted. She had to get over that part of her that told her it was wrong to hear this. That Mak was being over the top or overly emotional. No, this was how genuine they were. This was the depth of their connection. And Mak was scared of losing her too. Evan at least knew that they could try and work through that fear together. United...for once, on both of their terms. 

“You say you love me but you make me out to be a right bitch.” She whispered, a big grin slipping across her mouth as she clenched a little tighter at Mak’s swimming gear. “And you make yourself into a proper sap...” But still, she smiled and still, she held on tightly to Mak. She didn’t want to let go. So instead, she pulled her closer. Her hands went up to the back of the swimmer’s neck, leaning forward to meet her lips in a lustful and passionate kiss. It was a kiss that tried to convey all she felt. The weight and the fire of it. She held on firmly, savouring the taste of chlorine and Mak all at once on her mouth. Her fingers dug in more, her lean body pressing against Mak’s despite the damp of her suit. “How are you possibly going to be able to handle me now, flippers?” She whispered against her lips, a soft laugh escaping her as she kept them close. 

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance​:

Soft shivers rushed through Mak’s body, partially from the chill of the morning air and the rest from seeing Evan. The hockey player looked as if she was in her head, which could go either way for the swimmer. Mak’s eyebrow popped up in surprise. “Just listen…?” She spoke slow, hesitant to speak anymore words for fear of retaliation. According to the last few times they were together, speaking was not their forte. Still, her lips pressed together, her breathing starting to slow down from the hour of morning practice. Part of her longed for the pool, but she knew that was the part that didn’t couldn’t hear anymore rejection from the woman she loved.

As Ev spoke, Makayla did as the other had asked, digesting the words and drinking in the other’s tone. Something about this encounter was different. Softer. She would almost dared to label this caring? Mak’s eyes shot down to the fingers the lightly gripped her towel. The closeness of them nearly startling her. Gentle touches hadn’t been a thing for the most part. Only a few fleeting moment ruined by Mak’s inability to pick up on context clues. The swimmer tried to hold her calm composure, but the more Ev stated her observations of what the athlete wanted out of her, the more she started to soften up. Someone clearly paid more attention than they let on.

A leery smile pulled softly at the edge of her lip. “You’re right. I don’t want those things. I want someone who isn’t afraid to be themselves.” It wasn’t a shot at the other, merely stated a fact she wanted known. If Evan was serious about this talk, she’d need to commit to those words. She couldn’t run off every time Mak brought out tenderness. “I’m not….that much of a dumbass….” the swimmer muttered, leery smile transforming to a brighter one by the second.

And all Ev had to do was mention knowing her fame to finally crack what was left of the faux demeanor. “You’re telling me that you watched me all summer?” She jeered playfully, her body shifting into the other female’s touch. Mak should have seen that coming, but she also didn’t doubt that Ev came from under a rock sometimes. She took their delicate gestures to the next level, pressing her forward softly against the hockey player’s. “Anything else you’re lying to me about?” It wasn’t an accusation, but instead, a soft inquisition.

With some prodding, she’d hope to get Ev out of her shell. Push her towards things Mak had only dreamed of her saying. It had been a long and exhausting road, but a road that was worth the trouble. “Because I’m tired of the bullshit, too.” The swimmer had dropped her towel on the ground at some unknown point, but her fingers now reached to rest against Ev’s side. “I have made mistakes in my past. More than what I did to you. But the one thing I will never regret is being honest with you. Even if it hurts.” She paused, sucking in a bit of breath. “And you’ve hurt me, too, Evan. I’m not sure what’s real with you.”

Evan knew that this was a turning point moment for them. Well, not just them as a collective...this was a turning point for her. Makayla had been on her mind for months and she’d replayed so many of their shared moments that it had begun to feel like it was the film roll to her life. She still remembered the first night they met. Makayla Grant...who are you? Evan Carrow. They had been like rutting stags the first time they’d fallen into a bed together. Their words had been fuelled by fierce lust and a disregard for the other despite the fact their connection had been electric. And when Makayla had touched her....no one had touched Evan as well before or after. No one had pleased her like Mak did. No one had challenged her like Mak did. No one was forcing her to bare the darkest pieces of her soul like Makayla was. And she was willing to take that leap, even if she fell...because it felt like Mak would at least try to catch her. But only if Evan was real about the situation.

I want someone who isn’t afraid to be themselves. It was a completely fair comment but it made a shock of guilt pang inside Evan. She was the mean girl. She was the bitch. She was an Ice Queen. But it wasn’t all she was and that was the problem. She’d let her hothead and her aggression consume every part of her. She’d let it take over the wide-eyed and curious girl who had prayed that the world wouldn’t taint her good soul. She hadn’t needed the world to do it...she’d done it all herself. And she wouldn’t change how she’d met Makayla. She wouldn’t change the fierce passion that they felt but now was the time to change. She had to be a better person for Mak. She had to be a truer version of herself. And this was a start. Honesty.

And yes, the deflecting and the playful jeers struck her because she’d been honest but Mak wasn’t teasing her to be mean. She was messing with her. That was what they did but this wasn’t mean. This was hopefully Mak taking some of the pride in herself that Evan should have instilled in her long ago. “I thought I told you to just listen.” She whined softly, feeling her cheeks heat up so easily. But she welcomed the feeling of Mak’s forehead against her own. The softness of the gesture almost made her gasp but she also reminded herself to enjoy it. To savour the slightly dampness and the rather strange feel of the latex swim cap that was just so....Mak. 

“Mak, I’m not a liar.” She whispered, her hands slipped over Mak’s wet chest, her fingers on her collarbone. “I am honest with you. I...just don’t always tell you exactly how I feel. Because it’s hard...” She scrunched up her nose and let out a shallow breath. Her eyes clenched shut when Mak said she’d hurt her....because Evan knew that. She saw it. She’d seen it the night she’d run away and kicked off when Mak had called her girlfriend. But, why was that so bad? Why was Evan so scared to be committed to someone? It wasn’t like there was anyone else. There hadn’t been for a very, very long time. It was just Mak. 

For a second, she looked like she was in pain but she was just thinking hard. Thinking about every bad thing she’d said to Mak that hadn’t just been in jest...comments that had been genuinely cruel. “But you do know what’s real with me, Mak...” She stated, her hand moving up to play with the hair at the base of her neck. “I don’t always say how I feel but I can’t hide how I feel. I can’t deny how attracted I am to you. Or how I don’t stop thinking about you...” She swallowed hard and tilted her head until her nose pressed against Mak’s damp cheek. “I’m scared, Mak. I’m scared of opening myself up and...” Her breathing was shaking and her eyes were a little wild as they met Makayla’s. She’d forgotten where they were. She’d forgotten everything except Mak. “And I’m scared about that fact I love you...I adore you and...I’m sure and...” Her voice broke and she let out a hard breath. “But I’m terrified of losing you more.”

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance​:

Focus. Focus. Focus. Mak was finding it hard to do what she needed for practice. With the Olympic qualifiers a few months away, the swimmer needed to get her head back in the pool. Her body was cutting easily through the water, but the speed didn’t feel right. The rhythm of the her arms and her heart weren’t aligning like normal. To anyone other than her coach, Mak looked amazing out there, calming and churning laps out within good time. But deep down she knew where her focus was and couldn’t beat the heavy weight in her chest. She needed that cleared, but she wasn’t sure she’d find that solace any time soon.

Her head had popped up out of the water just as the gate to the pool rattled. Mak had chalked it up to the wind, not daring to break what little concentration she could muster. It wasn’t until a figure from above the water caught her peripheral, startling her to immediately surface the water. It wasn’t normal for anyone to disturb her, especially since her coach blocked off this time period for her, everyone knew how important her practices were at this point. The figure standing there when she surfaced caused her to suck in a soft breath as she treaded the water with light strokes of her arms. Any other time Evan would have ribbed her for how she looked. Her swim cap compressed over her wavy locks and swim goggles pressed tightly against her eyes. Sadly, this wasn’t that time, and the expression on the other’s face frightened her.

Mak hadn’t seen many emotions from Evan. Well, other than bitterness and disdain. They hadn’t spoken for two, very long weeks. A fact that was the sole reason the swimmer’s focus was so fucked. She could at least burn anger when the hockey player was around and pissed off. She popped the goggles off and left faint red lines where they were previously suctioned. Evan, bending over the pool, who would have known? Mak figured something had to be up if it was serious enough to get that close.

“Yeah, no problem…just back away from the pool and I’ll climb out.” There was no need to repeat the past. Once the other was at a better distance, Mak pulled herself up, glasses perched at the top of her swim cap. She sauntered over to her towel, slender figures grabbing the fabric, and finally running it over her face to catch beads of chlorinated water.

Seeing Evan felt nice. More than nice. Refreshing. Exhilarating. Like her heart was trying so hard to pop out of her stupidly soaked chest. Mak’s body betrayed her, but her face remained stoic despite the war of emotions inside. Everything in her screamed for more than standing six feet apart. “Let’s talk then. My coach won’t be in until closer to ten or eleven so we’ve got some time before I’m in the pool until midnight.” The other day she was seconds away from a world record. Today, she was, spiritually speaking, miles away from the one person she loved more than a stupid fucking record.

Makayla worked harder than anyone Evan knew. Her thirst and passion for victory, both for herself and her team, was nothing short of admirable but there had been no occasion where Evan had admitted this out loud to the Olympian. With compliments came kindness and that was not a language Evan pretended to be good at. Instead, it was a foreign concept she overly forced herself to be bad at, projecting hostility as a messy attempt at self-preservation. Over the weeks that had gone by, it had begun to dawn on her painfully that the person she was being...wasn’t who she wanted to be. But the person she wanted to be was terrified. Just a scared young woman who just pretended that she had everything planned out. 

Evan wasn’t an imposter in her own skin. The spiked edges and harsh words were all too real but there was something significantly more genuine when they were peeled away. A softer, more caring person that Mak had seen flashes of. A delicate and gentle person that had smiled at Mak in the dark as their breathing steadied itself and sweat dried on their bare skin. Someone that had bared her soul to admit her fears, only to slam the doors shut and keep them barred. But Mak hadn’t stopped trying to knock on those doors and it was another reason that Evan admired her resilience. Maybe she was foolish...but maybe she did love Evan enough to keep trying. 

Obediently, Evan backed away from the pool and stood up straight. It wasn’t her favourite look of Makayla’s but she couldn’t deny the jolt that the sight sent through her. The googles and hat she could give or take but the lean body and muscles...well...they drove her wild. Something else she had never been brave enough to admit. The water dripping off her skin. This woman who loved the water scared her as much as the actual water did. But not because of who she was...what terrified her was how she made Evan feel. Happy. Calm. Cared for. Alien feelings that she’d stolen spitefully away from herself. 

When Makayla spoke about her coach, Evan pressed her lips together and nodded. Her training was gruelling. Her dedication was unmatched. She was going to succeed and the whole world would be watching. “Or maybe...for once in your life...” She cracked a small smile and patted her hands on her thighs. “Just listen to me.” Her breathing grew a little shaky and as she took a step closer to Mak, her gaze dropped for a heartbeat before it settled on Mak’s eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes. “You hurt me, Mak.” She stated matter-of-factly. “But I know you know that and I know you regret it and you’d take it all back if you could but...” She licked her lips. “I am not simple, Mak. I am messy and I am stubborn and I get pissed off at you when you do the smallest things and I’m never going to be sickeningly sweet or a perfect princess.” She took in a shaky breath. “But I also....believe that you don’t want any of those things. Otherwise, your dumb ass would have run away a long time ago.” 

Sniffing, she closed to space between them even more and took hold of the edges of Mak’s towel, holding it securely around her. “When we first met you asked me if I’d heard of you. Obviously, I said no because I’m...me. But I knew exactly who you were. I’d read about you. I’d watched you.” She pressed her palms flat to Mak’s chest, feeling her heartbeat beneath her fingers. “And I am tired of lying to you. To myself...I’m so tired of bullshit, Makayla.” 

[styxandmedusasstatues]

the dawn was almost silent apart from a few birds whistling on a telephone wire. the sky was an artist’s easel, smudged at every edge into row after row of pale blue, muted orange and soft pink. it stretched endlessly above evan and for a few moments she lost her self in the feeling of infinity. amongst the pastel shades, the faint flicker of stars was being swallowed by the new day. she felt that. she felt the feeling of worry and fear and something so much bigger than herself. this was all a risk that she didn’t feel brave enough for. a risk she hadn’t felt brave enough for in the months that had gone by. 

the months where she and makayla had been trying to pluck up shattered pieces and stick them back together with bleeding fingertips. every day evan saw the pain that had been inflicted onto her that night but she also saw that her part to play had been just as destructive. so for the past few months, it hadn’t just been a battle with the sadness makayla had caused her but it had been a war with herself. with her pride. with her fragility. with the weakest parts of herself that she overcame with a tongue as sharp as steel skates. steel skates that weren’t gliding across the ice at they once had. words that weren’t as frigid and harsh as she wanted them to be. and it terrified her. 

evan was scared. she was scared of the weight of her feelings because she didn’t know how to handle them. and she didn’t know how to handle the fact makayla loved her—a sentiment that had lingered between them since that night. and during the nights since, as evan had forced her body to slacken beneath mak’s. to finally accept what she was desperate to feel. she wanted the gentle. she wanted the affectionate. she wanted to let herself collapse into mak’s arms because she was exhausted. she was exhausted from fighting herself. 

the metal gate rattled slightly as she unhinged it and stepped onto the poolside. a familiar scene where mak had jokingly pushed her into the water so many months ago, only to have to pull her trembling and shaking from the water. how her secret had spilled then. how her heart had opened to makayla in a way she’d never exposed herself to anyone. and the scene before her was somewhat familiar, makayla’s body cutting through the water. early morning laps. ridiculous. but there was the scorn. 

it had been two weeks since she’d spoken to mak. she’d tried so hard to get her thoughts straight but she’d fallen apart and excused herself without looking back. she’d been spacey on the texts, awol on the communication. until it had amounted to this. with a stupid black eye and a split nose because all the feelings had got the best of her at hockey practice. but this...this was mak’s space. where she dominated the water. and evan saw it in the rigid lines of her shoulders. in the movement of her body. the athlete she’d had her eyes on throughout the olympics. and evan had never told her how talented she was. 

stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets, she walked to the pool edge and crouched down. “makayla...” she said, her voice slightly raised. “mak...” she could feel her throat getting tighter. “i need to talk to you.” @absoluteresistance​

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance‌:

A smile curled the edge of the blonde’s lips up, fingers of her free hand sliding along the edge of the small desk she could be found perched at during the day. She left her stilettos lying on the surface of the desk. She purposely kept her back turned to him as she moved, but she knew he was watching her every move. He always did. Even if he thought she wouldn’t notice. Gabriel was not a man of words, but he was a man of action. “Was cool not a thing with your generation?” Callie made a point to lean forward, skirt tickling the back of her thighs as it rose with the movement. She retrieved the pen she just couldn’t walk around her desk to get. With the pen tucked between her thumb and index finger, she swiveled around on the heel of her shoes. “Oh I know they are. I’d give them more an hour and a half?” She mused softly, smile only growing bigger. Callie was always earlier than everyone else. She wanted to make sure Gabe got a good look of her in the morning. 

Yet this time she’d gotten there a bit too early, too eager. But it was so hard for her to be good, not when she’d wait with bated breath to get a glimpse of Gabe’s cute ass. Even guys could have a little bubble butt. Still, who was she kidding? How many times had Callie fantasized about him at her desk? Nearly willing him cross the tiny distance between them and get her a good go after a day’s worth of teasing. It was hard work, too, and he wasn’t the only occasionally touching themselves under the desk. Callie leaned her ass against her desk, letting her fingers play absentmindedly at the necklace nestled between her breasts. “Why am I early?” She pretended to chew over the question, innocent-seeming eyes casted towards the ceiling. “I want to learn, Gabe.” And though her appearance gave the illusion she was mild-mannered, her tone suggested otherwise, filled to the brim with the sultriness she had perfected over the years. 

Callie chuckled softly at the mention of her father, following it with her own signature sarcastic eye roll. Her parents often questioned her long hours at work. She wasn’t doing it for the overtime, though, she was doing it for Gabriel. There was nothing more satisfying than getting him in the trailer alone. Rare but pivotal moments in her growth from the awkward coming-to-age college freshman to the cocky woman she was today. “I stopped explaining myself to him when I turned sixteen.” She scoffed, fingers slipping down the buttons of her tight shirt, nearly popping one of the buttons. “He’s hoping you’ll teach me everything you know. I could use it. The knowledge, of course..” And this time, her finger just so happened to scrape too roughly against one of the buttons, fabric of her shirt popping. “Show me how it’s all done…” 

Gabriel watched. He soaked in the sight and took in a deep breath that made his whole chest swell. The way her little skirt slipped up her thighs made his eyes sink downward, wondering absently just how easy it would be to ease her panties to the side and touch her. “Cool was never a thing with me,” Gabriel replied flatly, fascinated by the way she moved so easily. The way she span around with an energy he hadn’t possessed in years. Possibly since he was a much younger man. “My men know how to work but they don’t know how to commit like some people. Lazy, drunken bastards with good heads and the thrill of money at their cores.” He stated, pushing his hand back through his hair. Except her. She was always her ein the mornings, smiling and carrying a cute little peppy attitude with her. Not that Gabe had ever complained. Not with legs and a face like that. Not when he was desperate to feel the soft curve of her ass beneath his rough palms. 

And when they spent most of their days only metres apart, Gabe thought about it a lot. People came and went from the small trailer, bringing news about projects and orders, trying to avoid talking to Gabe and instead choosing Callie’s sweet face. Gabe wouldn’t admit the rushed moments he’d had while she’d slipped out to get lunch for them both, his hand wrapped around his cock through his trousers just because she’d bent over to pick something up as she’d left. Because he did follow her movements. And he followed them down to her breasts. Perky. Perfect for his hands he would bet. Even better covered by his mouth. And when she looked up, he eyed the exposed area of her collar bone and throat. She wanted to learn. He shuffled in his seat. It didn’t sound like was talking about research topics either. No, her tone made his cock throb. 

“Oh I remember, you’ve put him in his place a few times whilst you’ve been here,” Gabriel said, smirking at the thought. Her father and brother were an oaf. How were they even related to the woman before him? The young woman that made him groan aloud as she toyed with the buttons of her top. And just as the button popped, he rose to his feet sharply. Perhaps he didn’t even notice he’d done it, because for a moment he froze. But then he stepped past his desk and walked to her side. “What-” He lifted a large hand and pushed her blonde hair behind her ear. Reaching behind her head, he eased it all over one shoulder. “-would you like to know...? I’m not a brilliant teacher but I enjoy a determined student.” His eyes dropped to her cleavage, exposed by her now open shirt. “I bet men drool over your body, don’t they?” His voice was thick with want. His gravelled tone deep. “I can’t blame them. I’ve done more than drool at the thought of it. Do you want to feel what you do to me? Although...I think you know...”

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance‌:

Her words started a storm inside of him, but then again, Elora always did that to him. Darius had never met a woman that could get him like this. His disheveled appearance, clenched fists, teeth smashed together. His whole body tightened like he might bolt at any minute. He hated the guilt that coursed through his veins. Hated it because it wasn’t guilt over their predicament. They had never done anything physical and maybe that was the problem laid. He could throw her to the side like a one-night stand. No, Darius poured his heart and soul into her. Her locks of hair splayed out across his bare chest, his fingers tracing the curve of her spine through her shirt. He wished he could take back the pieces of himself, but he was hers. Entirely hers. There was no competition, but there was loyalty that wrecked him. His girlfriend had been there through thick and then, before he had ever met Elora. Before he stopped himself, his body uncoiled, the tension melting from his muscles as his hand cupped Elora’s cheek from where he was standing. “You would make me the happiest man alive. I only wish I met you before her.” Her tears felt warm along his fingers, but they couldn’t touch the chill he felt denying her. He let out an unsteady sigh, softly squeezing the skin of her skin. His throat tightened with each swallow, her statement knocking a soft groan from him. “Can’t be? You aren’t….leaving, are you?” He willed himself closer, sitting on the armrest of the chair, and pulling her to lean against his side. “Don’t do that.” 

“But you didn’t...you met her first.” Elora whispered, sniffing hard as she looked up at him. She didn’t mean to be so emotional around him but she’d been holding this in for a long time. For so long, she had pined for him. For so long she’d listened to everything her best friend had said about him. Heard about things that would probably make him bashful but also confident. Elora had heard it because she was a friend to them both. Someone they both knew. Could get on with. Her best friend had even begged Elora to be the one that delivered their baby once they got to that stage in their life. And Elora couldn’t say no. She’d just nodded. “Can’t.” She replied quietly, feeling his firm body against her own. Her hand lifted and rested modestly on his stomach. She couldn’t cross a line. They were both so committed and Elora knew that they’d just never happen. They couldn’t do that to her. “You say don’t do that but you’re not in my position, Darius. I’ve been offered a job at another hospital if I want it. Perhaps it’s cowardly but it’s so hard to see you both together when I want you to look at me like you look at her. Touch me the way I know you touch her...”

[ohbeauregard]

I’m giving this one last shot, for you.

[dykeva]

[styxandmedusasstatues]

@absoluteresistance

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance‌:

“No, I can’t. You know I’m always a good slut for you. Fill my pussy, please.” Winnie could barely process anything other than the ache between her legs. It was going to drive her crazy if she didn’t feel the female sliding into her soon. Roxie had left her horny and wanting more. She knew the other would deliver, and quite well, but the wait was the hard part, even if it only lasted a few seconds. She gasped softly, head bending forward, relishing the feeling of the other’s hand spreading her ass. “It’s all yours,” She breathed out, and god how she loved hearing compliments fall from Roxie’s perfect lips. The possession, knowing that someone claimed her turned her on more than fucking some random stranger and letting them cum on her stomach. She could hear the sound of Roxie spitting into her hand and she couldn’t help but wiggle her hips slightly. Winnie was just about to answer the other when she felt the tip of the toy finally slide through her slick folds. She took in a deep breath, forehead briefly touching the windowsill. By this time, the thick dildo had been used so often that she was used to the girth and length. But that didn’t mean every inch didn’t excite her, leaving her panting as it slid in deeper. Roxie knew how her body worked and the plastic cock was hitting all the right places. Her elbows dug into the concrete platform of the window, head finally lifting to gaze through half-closed eyes. She felt her hard nipples graze against the cold cement with each thrust. The combination of different pleasures bubbled up more cries of pleasure. The gasps that slipped from her lips were no longer quiet, but instead, boisterous, rapid, endless. “You feel so good inside of me, so deep inside of me.” The blonde knew that she’d have the imprints of the other’s fingers embedded in her hips. Probably for hours after they fucked, if not days. She could feel the toy stretching her out, pushing through her tight pussy, and practically milking an orgasm out of her. She wouldn’t last long, but she highly doubted they’d be done, not until she was exhausted on the bed, calling for Roxie to come lay on her tired chest so she could play with her hair. The steady thrusts kept her blonde curls bouncing on her shoulder, elbows braced on the windowsill, but her body moving with each push. “You’re going to have me cumming all over this thick cock soon. You’re stretching me out so good, honey.” Her moans were started to gain momentum at this point, head falling back, mouth gaped open. “Keep going, I’m so close. Let me come for you.” She whined out, eyes shut closed at this point, her thighs practically trembling with each thrust.

Hearing Winnie’s little voice request touches so politely made Roxie groans loudly. For such a dirty girl with a filthy mouth, she was also very clear and polite when she wanted things from her. Even when Roxie was really driving her crazy, she was good enough to remember how to ask. Not that Roxie hadn’t already given it to her good but her little baby girl had been worked up all day at the bar and it was only right that she treated her to best when she was being so well-behaved. “Mmm, I know it’s mine, kitten. It’s so fucking pretty and sexy to look at. And look at that sweet little wiggle.” The little butt shake made Roxie grin even more but she was even more concerned with focusing on her. The way her head fell forward. The way her toes curled into the carpet. The way Winnie’s core was soaked. The way she panted made Roxie’s breath labour heavily. The way Winnie’s tight pussy took the thick cock was just the cherry on the cake. And when she began to thrust, she could barely contain her. Firmly, she grabbed her ass and palmed it for a moment before swallowing it with a short slap. “I know how to fill your little cunt, don’t I baby? Getting this thick cock nice and deep so you can feel more of it...” She rubbed her ass with more of a sweetness and picked up her thrusts once more. Her eyes didn’t know where to settle. Between the blonde’s tight bouncing ass and her perky tits, there was so much to focus on. But shew knew by now that she’d have so long with Winnie that she didn’t need to rush it. But she did want the woman to come. She always wanted Winnie to feel amazing. “You’re being so good.” She cooed, spotting the shake in Winnie’s perfect legs. Her hands wrapped around the front of Winnie’s thighs and she picked up her pace. “There must be someone watching you by now, baby? Imagine how quickly you’d make those guys come looking like this.” Heat had spread to her neck but she didn’t stop pushing into her. “I love you...”

[styxandmedusasstatues]

absoluteresistance‌:

This Evan reminded her all too much of the very beginnings of their relationship. Mak couldn’t help but remember all the times she had gotten burned. Yet, regardless of how much her skin blistered, she kept going back every time. It didn’t matter how many guys Evan brought with her, Mak was always the one she finished the night with. Over time, they developed such an easy going pattern of always finishing the night with each other. Even when they left for separate places during break, the two girls caught up during long phone calls. Nights spent on the phone, laughing as Evan mentioned the funny things that her dog did or Mak spilling hopeful wishes to one day coach the Olympic hopefuls she swam with. And on nights that the swimmer had been too exhausted from practice or Evan had a long day with her family (now the swimmer realized this was more than likely because of Ruth), they settled into a comfortable silence, weary to hang up, like their presence was helpful even if nothing was said aloud. It was simple for Mak to mistake what they had for a relationship. Nobody could blame her for that. However, the hesitation of her own body in this very moment blamed her for driving Evan back into her little bubble.

Mak saw a flash of some sort of emotion, though it was too quick for her to decode what it truly was. The words that rang out in the harsh silence felt like a slap to the face. Her strong shoulders felt like they might give, and she squeezed her eyes shut, breathing out heavily to control the surge of emotions. Her whole body felt stiff with tension, refusal to feel sadness. Mak didn’t have the right to cry, but she felt a weight buried her chest, weighing her down in the bed she had made with another. “I’ve got enough.” It was mumbled out, lacking confidence, pleading eyes briefly finding the other’s. What she saw looking back scared her - blank gaze devoid of emotions. Evan wasn’t here. She might have pretended to be, but the eyes and the tug that lacked enthusiasm….those weren’t normal. Mak found herself sucking in another quick breath, steadying her buzzing thoughts. “I know you asked…” There was still hesitation. Her body felt cemented to the spot on the bed.

Even with Evan asking for a quick fuck, her body insisted that it was all wrong. Insisting that the only right thing she could truly do was get up right now and take her leave. If she did that, she knew she might never see Evan again, and that thought cut her to pieces. Mak was at a crossroad, standing before two paths, and each one led to a devastating consequence. She was playing Russian Roulette, but a fucked up kind, where the bullets were loaded into all chambers but one. “E-Evan…” The swimmer was about to protest more, but the look she received finally moved the female, lowering herself further down the bed. But even as she kissed up Evan’s all-too-familiar thighs, her heart thudding in protest, willing her to make amends some other way. But the only apology the other wanted was physical touch, and misguided or not, Mak was bound to oblige. With the taste of another still on her lips, she slid her tongue into the other’s folds, still not feeling a single bit of wetness along her chin. 

Scared and hurt, evan sought solace into the empty expanse of ceiling that stretched out above them. Where there was usually a rush of excitement in her shaking chest, there was a heavyweight keeping her bound to painful habits—regrettable compulsions that kept her from looking forward. The need to sort her problems with touch, certain that eventually it would make her feel like enough or make her forget. Or give someone else a good enough reason to want her other than her questionable personality. But it was a vicious circle to be so cold. when the need to pull came, she was terrified to ask. Terrified to expect. And when it came to pushing, she’d now seen the consequence of pushing far enough in the form of Mak’s dirty smirk. The power that Mak wanted to feel as well by using someone else. “Mak.” She responded simply when her name was stuttered, her eyes still unwavering from an uninteresting pattern in the plastering. 

Maybe if she stared for long enough, it would swallow her whole and she wouldn’t have to deal with any of this. Maybe it would distract her enough to get a bit of normal feeling back into her body but it wouldn’t work. The pain continued to creep in. Continued to bare its fangs and snap at her throat. Even when Mak moved down her body, she barely stirred. Just a body to be touched, not knowing how to take control of her situation in any other way than to run or fuck....but never to feel. And she knew where Mak’s hands had been....where her mouth had been. And the thought made her throat even tighter as she felt Mak’s tongue against her. 

Her hands rested on her own hips. Usually, she’d grasp Mak’s hair or paw at her breasts but today she drove angry red nail marks into her hips that didn’t come from pleasure. And as Mak’s tongue kept moving, Evan felt more things hit her. She’d hurt Mak. Driven her away all because she couldn’t fucking admit how she felt. Couldn’t handle one little word. Girlfriend. How big was it, really? When Evan knew that inside she probably loved Mak. Why else would she let her in? Because Mak had power over her. Had control. And her fucking sister had taken it from her again. Taken the sight of Mak and tainted it.

When the first sob fell from her lips, she threw one arm over her eyes and rested the other on the back of Mak’s head. After the first tear fell, the other followed thick and fast. Her chest shook and she grabbed harder at Mak’s hair. How the fuck did she get through feeling like this?