leo looks sooooo fucking good here. distress truly is the best expression.
the song is effectively an izumi centre his greed sickens me
they whored out the knights outfits like crazy. thanks.
izumi missed the kick timing boy your ballet trauma boy. not the first time ive been disappointed in your kick (little romance)
and so leo wears glasses in the same style as mako because- ... we gotta end them both . wdym. makoto not wearing glasses properly because thats what izumi likes. leo copying mako in this regard because what the fuck, right? hahaha.
kasa naru mao voices stand out the most to me in this song, or rather its prob cuz i like that part of the song the most and they happen to sing it
i forgot this was a tricknights song at least twice while watching and got jumpscared by trickstar being there
mako's kirei da ne vs leo's kirei da na in golden drop oh ok killing myself INSTANTLY. ok . ok wow. wow
i cant believe this is how we fucking address the dumbass romcom protag izumi. insanity.
︀︀"I'm done being a bystander and regretting it later" <- naru's card promo line. ok . ok/ ok ok . ok . ok ,ok ,. ritsu's line re:izuleo breakup in horaharo . hahahaha. ok. ok then. ok
seishun emergency if it were evil & twisted & malicious & izumisena
I am The fucking delusional guy but re: lohen character story there’s certain kind of transness in lohen’s quiet childhood, seeing the rest of his life played out for him and this sense of dread thinking “is this how it’s going to be for the rest of my life?”
Surely that’s relatable? It’s not like you had a particularly bad home life, but the routine of living like this suffocates you even if you don’t know it yet, and you think “there’s no way I can keep going on like this”…
This too, wanting to keep him under their watch and only “giving up” on it not because they accept the new him but because of course they mourn the obedient and well behaved perfect child they once had… haha
Reaching? Probably, but this part of his backstory stood out to me the more I thought on it. Initially it was funny quite literally nothing in his life happened for him to turn out like this before his kidnapping event but feeling a quiet sense of dread and resignation when you think about your future isn’t normal, yknow?
Can’t find a way to word it properly but I always feel a sense of “what do *you* have to be sad about?” in regards to my own mental state- a family that’s not the worst it could be but most certainly not the best either. No world ending trauma that I know of. But the years of having to suppress myself to fit that boring, obedient, perfect family life really takes its toll, yknow? So, in a way I’m kinda happy nothing actually happened to lohen and yet he still turned out fucked like that - that’s just how it is, right? You don’t need “sufficient” justification to be “allowed” to act out… you either rot in your own skin as you give in to this listless life that’s not even your own or break out and start smashing things around you - nobody will blame you for taking the latter path, see.
train of thought but anyway in regards to calling myself aroallo I do wish it was more documented, that more ppl would speak on their experiences and feelings and such… maybe I’m not looking in the right places?
I feel pretty muddied on this subject because I feel like more in a grey area; I feel kind of ridiculous but romance-repulsed might be the best way to describe it? I notice I tend to look down on romantic feelings very very often… which, well, is actually another problem that needs to be addressed about my mindset but, well. But at the same time it’s not like I’m wholly opposed to entering a “romantic” relationship or smth, on my own terms and given the other person understands my priorities (smth smth abt relationship anarchy… i just learnt that term recently, actually. am i even using it right (lol)). On second thoughts maybe what im describing is simply a qpr, hah. (That said, I also… don’t really quite understand that fully either, but. well.)
Post turned out long im putting the rest under
Lowkey frauding tf out you say you’re aro but it’s not like you’re opposed! Smth smth maybe you need the right perso- no. I can’t bring myself to type that. lmao. Internalised arophobia that has to be worked through… alright. I’d def say I’m some sort of aro tho. I’ve talked to too many grossly amatonormative people and gotten pissed off enough times to be able to be sure in this. fucking laugh…
Though, at the same time another reason I also doubt myself is I’m unsure how much of my “aromanticism” is more, due to. Self sabotage, low self worth, gender/body dysphoria, muddled sense of identity, masking, cynicism, avoidant attachment, and the like. Maybe you can argue that all these traits are part of me anyway, and thus the aromanticism that stems from these feelings are just as valid- well. who knows. The only person that exists is myself, right? Hah.
Thinking on past experiences. As if there wasn’t a time where I genuinely panicked because I was afraid my friends would fall in love with me. Oh so hilarious. Or I get annoyed at people who show romantic interest in me… you can argue it’s because I don’t reciprocate- looping back to (maybe you need to find the right person?) god I hate typing that. I’ve had crushes before, ancient, and when I look back I describe it as more of admiration and “I want to crawl into his skin” (normal thoughts! that branch off from being dissatisfied with my self and wanting so badly to replace it! Imitation is the highest form of “love” right? Even something like that can be called “love”, right? (Also, gender envy, etc) (If you laugh you go to hellll)) but well, that’s also what I say when I’m trying to deny my own thoughts. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when I’m lying to myself. Yet another problem that interferes with me trying to understand myself. So funny.
We can also talk about how in recent times I’ve been viewing romantic love as more of a weapon, a tool for manipulation… maybe I just have a twisted personality and mindset. Link back to cynicism, masking, attachment issues… when I think back to those moments in the past I realise the theme was more of “I wanted you to stay” and I ended up turning to the expected commitment of a romantic relationship to be able to achieve that. (This thought process is explored in yttd actually-! Sara or Joe’s special ep… I actually haven’t played it but I heard smth akin to it) kind of laughing. This is like babytrap but. without the baby. romancetrap.
I wanna talk about the few times (2) that I’ve ever felt smth real enough to be attributed to romantic love, it was also when I was affirmed in my gender- so. +100 points to a lot of these feelings stemming from gender dysphoria, perhaps? Haha. To elaborate- basically, I just can’t stand myself. LMAO. if someone falls in love with this version of myself I genuinely feel disgusted and I get put on a bullet train to sabotage that shit at Mach 5. I just can’t stand it. Wow. This cute little girl is only good for putting up an adorable and innocent front, yknow? The easiest mask to wear. If you fall for it I lose all respect for you. Try fucking again, see if you can like something which isn’t so obviously shallow and fake. Off topic. Anyway, what I’m trying to get at is- I wonder if I’d become “less aromantic” or rather, more romance positive if I were to properly transition to a point where my gender dysphoria and identity issues clear up enough for me to actually isolate and see the aromantic thing on its own. Won’t know till I get there, huh.
I also want to add I don’t feel grief about this at all- yknow, as opposed to my 76285826 crashouts everytime I get reminded of the gender issue, but anyway. I’m pretty happy to consider myself aro. Very proud, actually. I don’t know where this ridiculous ego comes from but truly I am the only one right about love all you allos are wrong, actually, (<- ridiculous ego speaking) I genuinely believe we’re all at least a lil bit aro inside you just have to be enlightened. Join my cult. (joke)
I’ll talk about the allo side of aroallo - ok honestly, I don’t know. LMFAO. I severely lack real experience in this area in the first place in general but I don’t relate to the ace thought process, from what I’ve seen, at all, so I’m kinda just settling myself in aroallo and twiddling my thumbs. Haha…
The most damning piece of evidence for me is this train of thought: 1) I won’t mind fucking my friends if they asked, yknow, as a fucking bonding activity or smth. It’s like playing video games together-! I mean, nobody is asking. But like. I thought about it. And I do trust them, so, intimacy between friends, right? I may be insane. And, 2) friends with benefits is honestly really beautiful?!??! In a way…! Exclusive or not- sex is smth that’s - (I don’t want to say intimate, kind of… although I know I just said it just now, but- yeah yeah, some people do causal sex it’s fine too, but what I’m talking about is-) it’s smth of a show of trust, right? Proof of a bond. It’s beautiful that this proof of trust and “love” doesn’t need to be romantic; it’s beautiful that you can share smth like this with someone who’s “merely a friend”, in society’s eyes. You don’t need romance to trust and love someone. In my view- I’d want a certain level of trust and familiarity before having sex with someone, and isn’t it nice that a relationship people would consider as “just friends” can clear that trust threshold just fine? I love my friends too, yknow… Does that make sense.
Pivoting to…. I’ll leave this out here, I don’t believe I’m poly myself (again, not enough info or experience, so…) but I do heavily fw the idea behind it. Aro and poly are more similar than you think, right? Well, I read one post about it and that’s what I started to believe. Anyways. This has to do with relationship anarchy, right? Actually, no… nvm. Basically I wouldn’t put a single person above every other relationship in my life solely because of the romantic nature of the relationship. Ridiculous. If it’s poly then- multiple people, that’s more acceptable? I may sound insane. It’s kinda like a mega best friend group, right. (What the fuck am I talking about) (the two points I brought up are kinda uncorrelated here. Whatever)
I also wanna give a shoutout to the time I said to this person who liked me smth along the lines of “I’d be open to fucking you ig?” After making it clear I really wasn’t romantically interested. Then I had to get sat through a whole explanation on why that was a terrible thing to say to them. Lowkey I kinda still laugh. Ok if nothing else then this is probably the damning evidence. Ahaha…
Final one- I have this ridiculous aversion to being romantically liked, largely due to my gender presentation issues. If I imagine myself (actually myself,) in a relationship I get this overwhelming feeling of “god I need to kill myself before I ever get to that point” but if I imagine myself in a sexual situation it’s… fine? Super surprisingly. I mean, besides the gender dysphoria. Which is actually a pretty big issue. But surprisingly it just… evokes way, way less dread than the relationship imagining. I don’t know what the reasoning for this is. Sexualising my female body is fine…? Maybe there’s smth twisted in there. Don’t get me wrong I really do have a level of body dysphoria that I can’t stand that makes me want to mutilate myself on some days but- maybe it’s because in my fantasies I completely ignore my chest… haha… my bottom dysphoria is nowhere near as severe. Though, I also do wonder if some part of it is just my twisted understanding/compliance of female sexualisation and “using my body as a weapon”. Type shit. Yknow.
Right, one more - i saw some aroallo discussions that absolutely detested the idea of a fwb catching romantic feelings- ah, hm... i was gonna say, I actually kinda don't mind that idea? It's already smth with a high level of trust, I don't think id be too unsettled if it were to evolve into a relationship from there... tho, just earlier I was talking about how I get terrified of my friends catching feelings for me, so, haha, let me reevaluate this. ... Well, this is all just armchair theorising, but once again this is [im not opposed to a relationship, given it's on my own terms]. Not sure how to describe it further... I suppose, as long as its not *that* traditionally romantic, yeah? ...yeah, im just looping back to saying qpr again, aren't I. That's it, then. I can't explain it well either, but my idea of evolving from a fwb is smth more like falling into a deep trust, even commitment, rather than going traditional lovers. Yep. That was my view all along.
ok that's everything covered... if anybody has experiences or ramblings they wanna share please do!! I really wanna hear more about ppl's views and brand of aro/aroallo identity
NEED to study illuhen’s massive popularity surge. literally a duo we made up so that means every single person into the ship was indoctrinated by seeing the numerous fan content of them (myself included). Who’s patient zero in this.
Thought abt lu guang outta nowhere was thinking how i always like characters who mask, added points if they’re specifically imitating someone else, but lu guang takes this a step further because the person he’s imitating is none other than his “first cycle” self which is really so. funny. You’ll never be the same person you once were nor will you ever be able to simply love and live freely ever again, always living in fear of the next event node… how lonely it all is. desperately trying to be “yourself” when that person is long dead… haha
Oh my god bruh lohen kit analysis because im mentally ill apparently
First off deceptive maneuver as his skill name 😭 😭 😭 ok man that just speaks for itself. I really like how the general gameplan for him is Lohen staying on field while his teammates directly build stacks for his skill state and he buffs them back in turn (how many on field main dps are there that buff their own teammates?) really feels like the whole team is actually working together huh? Speaks to his ability as a vice captain/leader + his supposed battle charisma in rallying troops to fight alongside him in his unhinged all out style. Also I really like the detail of how he prefers teammates that do dmg off field as well as opposed to pure support characters that just buff (“my useless subordinates” echoing in my head)
that said it’s worth nothing how his own stacks are called joy (FUCKING JOY???? JOYOUS?????? ARE WE FUCKING SERIOUS 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 ) while the stacks his team builds are called triumph which really is so funny in showing the diff in how he sees battle (only focuses on the fun and fighting aspect of it) vs other knights who fight for glory (varka’s voiceline abt him comes to mind). On that also triumph being based on allies dealing more dmg than his base atk… while his sig is a high base atk weap… contradiction could be just genshin balancing but also could be funny playing into how he’s harder on his teammates to push them further (“special training” mention (if you laugh you go to hell))
Also his skill state being named stratagem…. It’s so joyous…. He’s the leader and the planner huh…. “Searches for the enemy’s weakness” bringing to mind 6.5 dialogue of him being the rock of the squad, being the one to actively make opportunities for his team to win the fight he’s soooo joyous.
Talent/burst names “judgment fulfilled” “forbidden admonition” “masterpiece of jest” “exuberant arrival” what. What what what what what hwhat. I’ll call masterpiece of jest as a sign to his (dry) sense of humour as said by Eula in the event (he was cooking tho). Exuberant arrival is soooo fucking cute I swear 😭 😭 😭 isn’t he so happy when he arrives at the battlefield?!?!! What a cheerful guy!!!!!!!! Dk abt the first two what the fuck are we judging. Makes me think abt the crime breakdown in 6.5 where he puts himself in the criminal’s shoes to imagine their thought process…. A criminal backstory before becoming a knight…. There’s smth there…?
Also his talent where he checks the skill levels of his teammates is sooooo so so so so so sooososo fuckign cute?!?!! 😭 😭 😭 😭 it’s unique too is there anything else that directly checks the skill level of other character’s talents?? If someone else’s skill level is higher than his own then he’ll buff his own level for longer…. Soooo cute gives a rivalry feeling or pushing himself further to be able to match other people’s pace 😭 😭 😭 cute……. This being named fucking revelry is also something to note does he ever stop being joyous. oh my god
Constellation names what the fuck are any of these why is he so…… surprisingly…….. nice…………………. Tears in my fucking eyes why is it so poetic wtf is this
“Gentle breeze of the past, laden with elegy” WHY IS HE SO NICE 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 melancholic feeling…. What’s your trauma boy what’s your damage. Sorta makes me think again abt criminal backstory and mond being the city of freedom probably accepted him despite that so he could turn over a new leaf…. Guh…..
“All who take flight become targets” ok whatever vice captain of the ranged company whatever man whatever . “Blade of purity” effect being another buff to his teammates is pretty cute tho. What a knight guy…..
“Only the blade can heal this wound” WHY IS HE EDGY AS FUCK NOW 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 BRUH anyway callback to how seeking joy and the thrill of battle probably helps him cope with whatever the fuck he got going on. funny guy. Alternatively, sadomasomaxxing like actual. (Hurt yourself more to “heal”) type shit or whatever tf
“Love flows like light, passes like song” WHY IS HE😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 SOOOOOOOO 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 NICE AND KIND AND CUTE AND POETIC 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 idk but this is mondcoded af idk bro he truly is a child of freedom as they say
“No peering, no questioning” me when I call up my criminal backstory hc for the third time you understand what I’m trying to say here right. “Don’t look into my past”. Alternatively let him do his own shit let him handle it his own way. He truly is a child of freedom (2). Also gives off a guarded walls up around his heart kinda feeling too, huh?
“Body consumed, soul devoured, only joy remains” JOY MENTIONED 😭 😭 😭 😭 🗣️ 🗣️ 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 ✍️ ✍️ ✍️ ✍️ AGAIN. this one edgy as fuck is he ok? (no) anyway callback again to him only finding joy and meaning in battle even if it costs him his life or sanity (lol) (sadomaso!!!!!!!!!!) even if there’s truly nothing left of his sense of self
Overall he’s fucking insane he has problems he’s green he’s unhinged there’s smth wrong with him he’s perfect. oh wow. Really does feel like he hyperfocuses on seeking joy and the thrill of battle, the adrenaline because it makes him feel alive and to numb the pain and his feelings….. tunnel vision…. Leaning into your obsession so heavily in order to cover up a gaping empty void within your sense of self…….. truly joyous
this is insane to say but I rly fucking love the insanity that fanon Lohen is injected with that I fear him getting released and being normaler and mellower than pre-release fanon that it seeps into the fan content eventually
IZUKASA MY FUCKING LIFEEEEEE ok coherent thoughts after watching it twice (NOT ENOUGH) (OH MY GUHHHH)
THE IZUKASA DANCE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Izumi being the one spinning... kasa's hand position meaning hes the one leading the dance.... the way kasa grows from always watching izumi's back as an ideal knight to being the one to lead him....
the song in general calls back to knights the phantom thief style too, ofc... im really happy with the direction of this song YESSS YESSS we FINALLY got another song in the phantom thieves style literally the SECOND. EVER. its a harsher song too... more similar to golden drop.... that said the entire song is inexplicably so golden drops vibes im just saying. i cant put my finger on it but seriously. seriously man. thats izumi's shitty fucking brat. please. kasa's beckoning at the start.... like izm in golden drop..... ritsu is also using his harsher voice here too, more akin to fight for judge and golden drop.... the knight soldier ritsu sakuma rather than the dreamy prince knight ritsu....... please i sound insane. butterfly dream changed my life
The story starts out looking like a classic FMM love triangle. The POV follows the female protagonist (A) for the first few chapters, and it seems like the two guys (B and C) are doing the classic "fighting for the girl's attention with increasingly stupid stunts." A is, put frankly, fed up with this.
This goes on for a little while, only for the perspective to shift to the male protagonists, where four things become obvious:
B & C are bisexual disasters
They've been dating each other for two years.
They're both madly in love with A
All of their "stunts" are just their increasingly elaborate attempts to ask A to be their third.
