Hi, I’m Nia, I’m 28 and I never fucking learned how to read ~
I write mostly smut with a dash of fluff and angst (sometimes a little heavy handed on the angst). Smut only for members from 00′ or older. At the moment I write mainly for Nct/WayV but feel free to talk to me about other idols!
If you have requests you can send them my way either here or on CC (it’s more like suggestions since writing takes me a lot of time and I work a full time job so I might not write your request or do it like a year later)
no new tenyang smut from you.. I feel like a child being abandoned
i'm so sorry 😭😭
i just need to get all the pit babe stuff out of my system
i haven't given up on tenyang, my beloveds!! i just don't have the mental capacity to work on any of the chaptered fics but will try to post a one shot soon!
i've been a little more active on my pit babe tumblr @south-sonic in a different account but finally remembered i can add this blog to the other account so yeah, will definitely be more active from now on!
i'll try to get back to posting about yangie soon!!
Ten goes into an unexpected rut while stuck in a hotel room quarantining with fellow alpha Winwin, but Ten is pack and Winwin would do anything to help him.
“Fuck, no, not now,” Ten groaned as he stopped dead in his tracks on the way out of the bathroom. He felt hot and feverish and just so fucking horny . He should still have some time until his rut came, but maybe being away from the omegas in the pack had messed up his schedule. And it didn’t help that he was in mandatory confinement with Winwin, another alpha.
“Now?” Winwin asked as the heavy scent of rut hit him square in the nose. It wasn’t all that unpleasant but he would never admit it, “hey, it’s okay, I’ll just try to stay out of your way,” Winwin continued as he weighed his options. Which were pretty much none. He walked slowly towards Ten and even slower placed his hand on his arm, squeezing lightly. The last thing he wanted was for Ten to get all territorial on him when they were confined together.
“No, you don’t get it,” Ten whined, almost petulantly as he let his forehead drop on Winwin’s shoulder, “I didn’t bring any toys and my hand - fuck - my hand just isn’t enough.”
Winwin hummed in reply, hand sliding from Ten’s arm to the back of his head, playing with his hair. There was an idea brewing in his mind and he let it simmer there for a whole five seconds before he shyly offered “I - I could help you…”
“Wh - what?” Ten asked, pulling away from Winwin, eyes looking markedly less focused than they had looked only a couple of minutes before, “you brought something?”
“No, I meant me, you can - you can fuck me,” Winwin said, trying to get as directly to the point as his shyness alowed him when it was clear that thinking was starting to become a little difficult for Ten, “if you want,” he quietly added at the end. He knew it was unusual and sure, they had gotten each other off, sucked each other’s dicks but offering your ass to your fellow alpha in rut was definitely something else. He couldn’t say he had never thought about it though.
“Are you sure? I - I don’t wanna hurt you,” Ten said as he let Winwin pull him against his chest, his face nestling in the crook of his neck.
“I’m sure, go ahead,” Winwin said as he tilted his head, leaving his scent gland fully exposed to Ten, “I know it doesn’t smell as good as an omega’s but it - I’m yours for as long as you need it.”
“Fuck, Winwin you can’t say stuff like that,” Ten groaned, taking a long whiff of his scent. Yeah, it lacked the sweetness of an omega’s but Ten had always thought Winwin smelled really fucking good for an alpha. He caught himself licking at the gland as he felt Winwin tremble against him, “I’m not - I’m not biting you, or knotting you,” he said, head starting to turn, his brain fighting against what he had just said.
“You can do it,” Winwin whispered, sliding one hand to the front of Ten’s shorts, cupping his hardening cock over the thin material, “I told you, I’m yours for as long as you need me.”
Ten simply shook his head. Winwin was an alpha too, it wouldn’t be right. Besides, he might say now that he wouldn’t mind it and then, when hormones and pheromones were involved, things could be different. Before Winwin could say anything else Ten pushed their lips together in a messy kiss, that only got more and more desperate as they stumbled their way to Ten’s bed.
Winwin keened when Ten sucked a bruise into his neck, one thigh perfectly placed between his legs, pressing down on his cock. He had promised himself he wouldn’t get embarrassed by however his body reacted to Ten’s rut but it was hard not to blush when Ten teased him for the noises he made. He let his legs spread open as Ten less than gently pulled his shirt off of him before getting rid of his own clothes. Winwin took the opportunity to remove his own bottoms, immediately getting on all fours, not wanting to see Ten’s reaction to the way his cock was already painfully hard and leaking between his legs, a hint of a knot at the base. Maybe he had downplayed it a little how much he had thought about getting his guts rearranged by Ten.
“That eager?” Ten joked as he got back on the bed, small bottle of lube in hand (at least he still had some lube - he wasn’t that unprepared), only the slight strain in his voice showing how affected he was by the whole situation. Seeing Winwin like this, on all fours, forehead leaning on his arms, presenting his ass for him to take was leaving him dizzy. He looked fucking beautiful, like he was made for this.
Ten had a small moment of doubt when he climbed back on the bed. Had Winwin ever bottomed? It wasn’t really something they discussed and it wasn’t like Winwin was close to any of the older packs like Ten was with Shinee. Still, if he had offered, Ten reasoned with himself as he started to feel up his ass, was because he felt comfortable with the idea.
“How dare you hide this from us?” Ten said, quietly, almost like he was talking to himself as he spread Winwin’s cheeks to one of the most perfectly puckered holes he had ever seen. If he wasn’t so needy himself he would bury his face between them and eat him out until Winwin was crying out his name. But he was needy, so fucking needy and desperate and if he wanted to prep him while he could do it properly, Ten had to hurry up. He tried to do it as quickly as possible without hurting him, Winwin was tight, tighter than any one else Ten had ever fucked. To be fair, he was the first alpha Ten fucked; that idea alone made something heady and possessive rumble in his stomach.
“Fuck, Ten, you can go for it,” Winwin said, voice already sounding strained. He prepared himself as much as he could when he heard Ten lubing up his cock, allowing himself a small peek at it and okay, yeah, fuck, it was definitely bigger than he remembered it, was it the rut?
“Ready?” Ten asked, one hand placed on Winwin’s lower back, holding him in place. He waited until he nodded in reply to align himself with his entrance and start pushing in, as slowly as he could muster. But oh god was it a difficult task when Winwin was so tight, clenching around him so hard Ten felt breathless by the time he bottomed out. Without much of a reprieve, Ten pulled out before pushing inside again, progressively going faster, harder, causing the breath to be knocked out of Winwin’s lungs. And then Winwin started letting out these noises, half groan, half whimper, so delicious, so unlike himself that Ten couldn’t hold back. He covered him with his body, hips snapping into Winwin, lips leaving kisses up his spine and along his shoulder blades.
Winwin’s head was spinning, his breath was coming out in pants, sheets tightly grasped between his fingers. Ten’s pace was nearly unforgiving, the sound of his hips snapping against his body echoing in the room and pulling sounds out of Winwin he barely recognized.
“Fuck - fuck - fuck, ” Ten cursed, thrusts becoming erratic as he nuzzled the crook of Winwin’s neck, right next to his inflamed scent gland. Ten’s instincts took over long enough for him to sink his teeth into the back of Winwin’s neck, to let his fat knot breach through his tight rim as he came inside him, claiming him from both the inside and outside.
Winwin felt like a foggy blanket had been placed on his brain. He could tell he was in pain but it wasn’t completely unwelcomed and he felt warm and fuzzy under the weight of Ten’s smaller body. He let his eyes flutter shut at the feeling of Ten licking at the bite on the back of his neck in the middle of whispering apologies into his skin. It felt nice, he felt safe. And sleepy, so so sleepy .
The next time Winwin woke up was to Ten rutting into him again, desperately pounding into his hole, hands groping his waist so hard they were leaving bruises behind. He must have used a lot more lube this time around because everything felt so wet down there and it didn’t hurt as much. Ten was such a good alpha .
“Fuck, fuck, you’re so tight,” Ten groaned, using all his body weight to pin Winwin underneath him, pressing him into the bed as he fucked him. He was acting on pure instinct, nuzzling into his sensitive scent gland, licking and kissing it over and over again. Winwin smelled divine, he couldn’t remember him ever having smelled this good before, it was intoxicating.
“ Alpha,” Winwin whimpered as he attempted to spread his legs, arching his back into Ten’s body, drooling into the mattress underneath him. He had a small moment of panic as he heard himself mewl for his alpha ’s touch, not recognizing this sort of behavior and then Ten was nibbling on his neck and whispering how he was going to knot him, to breed him, to put a whole litter of pups in him and that nice mental fog was back.
“Mine, mine,” Ten groaned as he approached his climax, his cock starting to flare at the base as his knot began to set. He couldn’t wait anymore, didn’t want to hurt him like he had before.
On the back of his mind Winwin could hear Ten frantically begging to knot him but he didn’t have the presence of mind to give him a full reply, simply nodding his head as he prepared for it. With a desperate cry Ten pushed inside him right before his knot fully set and Winwin barely had the time to realize it was much less painful this time around before Ten was once again biting him, on the shoulder this time as he came over and over again. Just like last time he was flooded by this feeling of warmth and safety. He felt sated like he hadn’t felt in a long time and he wished he could stay awake to feel Ten once again licking his bite, peppering him with soft kisses, nuzzling his neck and leaving his heavenly scent all over him. But, just like before, he ended up falling into a contented, sated sleep.
They went through another two or three rounds before Ten started to feel a little more like himself again. He looked down horrified at the mauling on Winwin’s neck, the soft skin tinted purple and marred with the marks of his teeth. He had done that. Quickly he pulled out, wincing at the squelching noise as he watched what looked suspiciously like a mix of cum and slick leak out of Winwin’s abused hole.
“Alpha?” Winwin asked softly, turning around with big, confused eyes, “why’d you stop?” he continued in the tiniest of voices.
Ten had never heard Winwin speak like that, never saw him act like that, never felt him smell like that. He smelled like omega in heat and little by little the puzzle pieces started to fit together in his mind. Oh, he had fucked up.
“Alpha?” Winwin said again, sitting up in bed with a wince. He looked so heartbroken, so rejected as he reached out for Ten, searching his eyes with his own.
Ten knew the change was probably only temporary but he still felt like shit he had done it. But now he had a teary, wide-eyed alpha/omega feeling needy and insecure and smelling so fucking good right in front of him. So he softened his gaze, climbed on top of Winwin before kissing him.
“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, alpha’s here,” Ten said, nuzzling Winwin’s neck and kissing his scent gland. Fuck, he smelled so good . He led his cock to Winwin’s entrance, groaning at the wet mess as he pushed inside.
“Thank you, thank you,” Winwin breathed out, arching his back and throwing both arms and legs around Ten, pulling him as close as possible. It felt so different being fucked from this position, so much more intimate when he could see the hungry look on Ten’s eyes as he sped up his thrusts.
“Did you even cum before?” Ten asked, voice tinged in embarrassment, as he slid one hand between their bodies to find Winwin’s cock mostly dry, especially in comparison to the mess that was his ass. Ten had never considered himself to be a selfish lover, even when in rut, but it was also the first time he fucked an alpha during it, maybe it was different with omegas.
“Don’t know,” Winwin mumbled, absolutely drunk on pleasure. He couldn’t stop the desperate noises climbing out of his throat as Ten jerked him off in time with his thrusts all the while trying to change the angle in search of his prostate.
“Silly, dumb, little omega,” Ten tried, a satisfied smile appearing on his face at the way Winwin whined in reaction, “too cock dumb to know if you came or not, it’s okay, alpha will make sure you remember this time.”
The noise that came out of Winwin when Ten finally found his prostate was one he had never heard before, guttural and unrestrained. Ten shushed him by slotting their lips together, holding himself up by the elbows, both hands cupping Winwin’s cheeks. Ten had never seen him behave like this in all the years they had known each other, not even since they had formed a pack. It was new and exciting and Ten loved seeing him act so freely, hopefully part of it would stay after this was all over.
He hadn’t noticed it before but the room was sweltering hot, both of them sweating as Ten continued to thrust directly into Winwin’s prostate, one hand sliding down again to play with his leaking cock. He knew he wasn’t going to last long, his knot already starting to form, but he wanted Winwin to cum first, wanted to feel him clench around him, wanted to watch him lose himself to pleasure. So he jerked him off faster, taking his time to tease the head of his cock as he continued kissing him. He pulled away, Winwin’s full bottom lip trapped between his teeth before leaning down, peppering kisses from his jaw to his neck until he reached his scent gland.
“Bite me,” Winwin begged, baring his neck to Ten. He was so close, he knew it wouldn’t take much to make him cum all over Ten’s hand.
Ten did as Winwin asked, that heady leftover rut-like feeling clouding his mind for a few moments, telling him to sink his teeth in as far as they could go, to claim him as his, to have their scents mix together as he knotted him. He shook his head softly, trying to clear his mind before leaning back down, choosing a place on Winwin’s perfect neck, kissing the overheated, sweaty skin before biting down. Winwin moaned a series of jumbled words that Ten had trouble deciphering, something something alpha, something something please, something something yours . Ten pulled away just in time to watch Winwin reach his climax, one hand grasping the bedsheets the other grasping Ten’s hair, arching his back so far off the bed it almost displaced Ten. He was letting out the most beautiful, gaspy noises, so unlike anything Ten had ever heard from him. It was such a beautiful sight - beautiful enough to push him over the edge. He pushed inside Winwin one last time, his knot catching on the rim causing him to gasp as he seemed to cum a second time, a new wave of pleasure hitting his body and making him shudder in time with Ten’s own orgasm.
Ten waited until Winwin’s breathing had evened out and they had both rode the last of their orgasms before kissing him, slowly, softly.
“You won’t forget this time, will you?”
Winwin shook his head with a small laugh, turning his face to the side, a light blush painted over his cheeks and nose. He looked so cute like this, Ten couldn’t stop himself from nuzzling his cheek.
“I think we’ll be stuck like this for a while,” Ten whispered into his skin, trying to get as comfortable as possible without crushing him.
“It’s okay, it’s like having a weighted blanket,” Winwin joked as he threw both arms around Ten’s neck, “I - it makes me feel safe,” he finally admitted, hiding his face in the crook of Ten’s neck.
Usually Ten would tease him about what he had just said, but he didn’t have the heart to do it today. Even though it seemed that Winwin’s scent had toned down a little, he still smelled more like omega than alpha and the heat undertones were still there, even if muted. And the last thing Ten would do was tease an omega in heat (albeit technically a fake one) for feeling safe with him.
It would still take a good half hour for Ten’s knot to go down so they just stayed like that, Ten lying on top of Winwin, sharing kisses and scenting each other.
“I feel wet,” Winwin said with a grimace when Ten pulled out, feeling slick and Ten’s cum dripping down his thighs, “don’t know how the omegas handle it.”
“Is it uncomfortable? I’m sorry,” Ten said, petting Winwin’s knee apologetically.
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” Winwin said as he sat up in bed, wincing at his sore backside. Oh, he didn’t know he would be in pain after too. He thought back to his last rut and took a mental note to spoil Hendery when he got back to Korea.
“It sort of is my fault,” Ten said quietly, scratching the back of his neck in a fashion that resembled Yangyang so much it was almost funny to Winwin, “let me make it better, wait here, I’ll start you a bath.”
Hours later, after a good bath and an even better nap, they were both sitting on the sofa, one across from the other, Winwin dressed up in Ten’s clothes. He had mostly shifted back to normal but still felt more sensitive than usual, needing to be around Ten and his calming scent. He looked up just in time to see Ten point his phone at him with a teasing smile so he covered his face with his hands, in part to hide his blush and in part to hide the bruises on his neck.
“Oh, you look so cute, this one is going on Bubble,” Ten cooed as he looked from the picture on his phone to Winwin, still hiding behind his hands, drowning into the couch.
He was too cute and he couldn’t wait to play with him again.
Masterpiece - Ten/Yangyang // Serial Killer AU // Dead Dove (Pt 1/?)
Ten knew right there and then he had found what he had been looking for.
His masterpiece.
The story of two men's descent into madness. It might not end well.
Ten slowly lifted his eyes from his coffee, eyes traveling up and down the man in front of him. Probably a few years younger than him, small, platinum blond hair, shining eyes. Beautiful. Perfect.
Ten knew right there and then he had found what he had been looking for.
His masterpiece.
He watched as the man left the coffee shop, steaming cup in hand. For the first time in months, years even, he didn’t know what to do. His body thrummed in excitement telling him to go go go , but he waited. Waited one second, then five, then ten before finally downing his coffee and walking out the door, wrapping his scarf around his neck when the biting cold hit him. Immediately he spotted his bright hair, shining in the soft morning sun, and followed him from a distance, slowly, slowly, not making a sound, heart thumping in his chest. He couldn’t lose him. He followed him to a butcher’s shop, watched as he walked in, waving nonchalantly at the man working behind the counter before entering a door marked as ‘Personnel only’.
Oh, a butcher. Ten would have never guessed, such a pretty face he had, such dainty hands. He let his thoughts travel, imagining what the man would look like in his final moments; would he cry, would he beg? Maybe reach out to him with his pretty, dainty, mangled hands. So many options.
Ten shook his head, trying to rid himself of those sinful images, it did him no good to dwell on them out of the comfort of his home. Besides, he would start to call attention to himself if he stayed put in front of the store much longer. He knew where he worked, that would have to be enough for today.
— —
Ten sat in the same coffee shop, eyeing the door every couple of minutes, it shouldn’t be long now. The man had shown up everyday for the past three days, always around the same time; he would order his coffee to go and leave right away, only staying long enough for Ten to memorize one of his features. Today, he hoped he could concentrate on his neck, a vital part of his masterpiece.
The sound of the bell caught him by surprise, he looked up expectantly, waiting to see the blond mop of hair that had been plaguing his dreams lately. But no, it wasn’t him.
“Hey, turn - turn it up,” a man had said from the queue, pointing at a quiet TV in the corner.
Ten watched as the barista turned up the sound, the somber news anchor's voiceless speech being replaced by words that seemed to quiet everyone else in the room, the flashing of the words “BREAKING NEWS” leaving everyone in a trance.
“Police have not yet made a statement but our sources confirm the latest victim is a young man in his late twenties who was said - “
Another one.
Ten tuned out the rest of the report, not interested in speculation so early in the morning. He wanted the details, the true gory details of how the man had been killed, the kind of details one doesn’t get from the news. Maybe he should give Johnny a call later tonight.
Around him, people thrummed with an uncomfortable, terrified energy, it came out of them in waves. Ten loved it. He knew everyone in that coffee shop was imagining themselves as the next victim - Ten was imagining it too. Imagining them, that is. He looked from person to person, all of them so terrified, so small and insignificant, some hiding it better than others and then his eyes nearly bulged out of his head when they fell on him. He hadn’t seen him walking in, hadn’t heard the bell chiming as the door opened, the noise drowned by the news anchors still speculating who could have been the culprit. His eyes were fixed on the television screen, same as everyone’s, but there was no fear. There was something, an emotion Ten couldn’t pinpoint, a glint in his eyes that intrigued him. Maybe he was one of those true crime lunatics who loved to soak up a good gory murder but Ten wasn’t too sure. Still, he let his eyes travel down to the man’s neck, long and slim and so so pretty. How good would it look with Ten’s hands around it? How delicious would it look being slit open from one end to the other, letting his blood drip all over Ten’s awaiting face. He looked back up to see the man already looking at him, eyes boring into his soul. Before he could soften his hungry gaze, maybe even smile at his muse, the man looked at the clock on the wall, letting out a low curse before bolting out of the door without ordering his coffee.
Ten’s heart was still rapidly thumping inside his chest. The man always looked beautiful but there was something special today. He couldn’t wait to get back home and keep working on his new painting, the details of the man’s beautiful neck still fresh in his mind.
— —
“If I didn’t know any better, I would say you’re selling info to the tabloids,” Johnny said as he took a sip of his beer, eyes tired and shoulders sagging against the chair.
“But you know better,” Ten purred over his glass of wine, a weird glint in his eye as he let his foot slide across the floor, poking at Johnny’s ankle, “tell me about it.”
“What do you want to know?”
Ten didn’t bother replying, staring at Johnny with a raised brow. This wasn’t the first time they did this, Johnny should know by now what he wanted to hear.
“Male, believed to be in his late twenties,” Johnny started with a sigh, “cause of death was probably blunt force trauma but we’re still waiting on the full coroner’s report.”
“You don’t know who he is yet?”
“You know I can’t give you his identity…”
“I’m not asking for it, I’m asking if you know it,” Ten explained, rolling his eyes, “you said ‘believed to be in his late twenties’, means you don’t know either.”
“Ten, it was absolute carnage, this guy’s face was caved in, couldn’t find one tooth still attached to his gums,” Johnny replied, rubbing his face with his hand, sounding even more tired than when he had arrived.
“Hey, I know you’re doing your best,” Ten said, forcing his voice to be lower, softer. He let his hand land on Johnny’s hand, his thumb rubbing circles in the skin. Inside, his blood was boiling, he didn’t have time to play therapist, he needed to know more, “you really are, but ‘The Butcher’ is just too out of control.”
“Do you actually believe in the butcher theory?”
“You don’t?”
“I don’t know, Ten,” Johnny said with another sigh, “I find it weird that all of a sudden the city is being attacked by two serial killers.”
“The alternative is the city being terrorized by one serial killer and then many isolated extremely violent murderers, how can that sound more logical to you?”
“It’s just - it goes against all we are taught…victimology, murder weapon, no killing looks alike, at least with ’The Artist’, you can tell when he’s the killer, it’s obvious, but the others? If it weren’t for timeline and location no one would have tied them together.”
Ten hummed softly, taking one last sip of his wine. He hadn’t found out enough but he could tell it wasn’t a good night. Johnny was tired and frustrated, it was better to just drag him to bed and cut his losses. He would try to hear more about it some other day.
“You had a shitty day, officer Suh, let me take care of you,” Ten purred as he pulled Johnny up by the wrist, walking backwards towards his bedroom, putting on his most alluring face. Not that he needed it, Johnny never needed much convincing to slip into bed with him.
“It’s Detective Suh to you,” Johnny said with a tired smile as he let himself be pulled along, cock already starting to fatten inside his slacks.
Xiaojun hates losing, especially to Yangyang.
Yangyang is a master at bringing Xiaojun out of his sour moods
Just a small drabble based on their Unbelievable episode where Yangyang shared that Dejun kicked him out because he lost a game and on this gif that look suspiciously like Xiaoyang
Dejun was a sore loser. Especially when it came to gaming and even more particularly when it came to Yangyang. There was something about his smug face when he was winning that absolutely drove Dejun insane. And he was always so good at it, no matter what game it was; no matter how much Dejun practiced, he could never seem to get one over him.
Yangyang watched as Dejun got up from his bed, turning off the console and the main lights, only the small bedside lamp staying on, before turning back to him and pointing at his door.
“Get out.”
“Oh come on, we were having fun,” Yangyang whined, looking up at Dejun, softly pulling him closer by the leg of his shorts, hoping to be giving him his best puppy eyes.
“I wasn’t,” Dejun sighed, trying to pull away from Yangyang, “leave.”
“ Junjun ,” Yangyang said, wrapping both arms around Dejun’s small waist, “don’t be like that, I missed hanging out with just you,” he continued, burying his face in Dejun’s stomach, tightening his hold when he felt him struggling.
“Let go of me,” Dejun said with a huff, arms instinctively wrapping around Yangyang’s shoulders, hands playing with his hair.
“Only if you promise not to kick me out”
Dejun took a moment to sigh before finally agreeing to not kick Yangyang out of his room. He watched as Yangyang let go of him, scooching backwards on his bed before patting the empty place next to him. God, his little smile was so cute and irritating and Dejun couldn’t stop himself from halfheartedly rolling his eyes before lying down next to him. He tried to keep a serious face as Yangyang suddenly moved, hovering over him.
“Stop pouting,” Yangyang said, with a pout of his own.
“No,” was Dejun’s dry response.
Yangyang let out a small huffy laugh before leaning down, rubbing their noses together a few times. He took a moment to look into Dejun’s dark eyes and then quickly kissed his cheek, hoping to catch him off guard. It seemed to work, his pout cracking only a little but that was enough for Yangyang; he smiled as he nuzzled Dejun’s cheek before coming back to his original position hovering above him and then kissing him on the lips.
“Fuck you,” Dejun said quietly, his cold expression completely disappearing, replaced by a small smile.
He wrapped his arms around Yangyang, flipping them so they were both on their sides, facing each other.
“You’re so annoying, you know that?” Dejun whispered, one hand brushing Yangyang’s hair away from his forehead.
“Yes, super annoying” Yangyang said proudly, showing off his gummy smile, “maybe you should kiss me to keep me quiet,” he continued, voice dropping lower as he pushed closer to Dejun, their noses rubbing together again.
“Yeah,” Dejun breathed out, eyes so dark it was hard to say where the iris stopped and the pupil began, “maybe I should.”
Yangyang let his eyes flutter shut as Dejun got closer, body relaxing when he felt his soft lips on his, their kiss translating all the love and affection they had for each other that wouldn’t always show in their words.
“Stay the night?” Dejun asked, breathless from their kiss, arms and legs intertwined with Yangyang’s.
“Of course,” Yangyang replied against Dejun’s lips before diving in for another kiss.
Don't keep my love on the low low (Keep my love on the low low) - Ten/Yangyang (18/?)
Ten didn’t know what he had done wrong. One minute he and Yangyang had been all lovey dovey and the next Yangyang seemed to be ignoring him.
To: Yangie 🥰 | 2:34 am
Please talk to me
That had been two days ago. He hadn’t even opened the message. He had seen him around school but he always looked away from him and it was driving Ten insane. If he knew what he had done wrong he could try to fix it but he had no idea. He had tried to surreptitiously ask Kun how Yangyang was doing and he said he was fine but he didn’t look fine. He looked pale and like he wasn’t getting enough sleep and when he smiled it wasn’t genuine; Ten liked to believe he was an expert when it came to Yangyang’s smiles.
“So what’s going on?” Taeyong asked as he plopped down on Ten’s sofa after he was done taking out his shoes.
“Nothing’s going on,” Ten replied, going back to his painting, reaching for the black paint, “why do you think something’s going on?”
Taeyong’s only reply was a raised brow as he tilted his head, staring at Ten until he started sweating. He knew him too well sometimes.
“It’s not Johnny, is it? There’s someone else.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ten said, turning back to his painting, drawing a big, black ‘X’ over one of the characters' faces.
“Ten, don’t play dumb, it’s not a good look on you,” Taeyong continued, turning to Louis, who had just jumped in his lap, and petting him.
“It doesn’t matter,” Ten said with a sigh, putting the brush down and sitting next to Taeyong, dropping his head on his shoulder, “he’s ignoring me, Doie was right…”
“Oh, Ten…” Taeyong said as he turned, throwing both arms around his best friend, pulling him into a hug, “you deserve so much better than this,” he whispered into his neck, not letting go even when Ten started to pull away. He didn’t understand how no one saw what an amazing person he was, how no one ever gave him the love and respect he deserved.
“You’re crushing me,” Ten said with a small laugh, not making any efforts to slide free.
“I don’t care,” Taeyong replied petulantly, before actually pulling away, “what if we called the others and had a sleepover, just like old times?”
Ten didn’t feel like having a sleepover. He didn’t feel like seeing Kun either, it would just remind him of Yangyang even if he did know that wasn’t fair. But Taeyong looked so excited about his idea and he couldn’t bring himself to disappoint him. So he said yes.
And that’s how he found himself surrounded by his friends, Jungwoo showing him picture after picture of guys he thought might be gay.
“Oh my God, Woo, not having a girlfriend is not a sign of being gay, you just go to engineering school,” Doyoung said with a laugh, jokingly rolling his eyes.
“It’s not just that! I got a vibe, just like I did when I met Ten!” Jungwoo tried to explain, earning an offended squawk from Ten.
“Anyone can tell by just glancing at Ten you’re not special,” Sicheng joined in, cheeks red from the beer, ducking just in time as a pillow flew at his head,Ten fuming from the other side of the room.
“I’m about three seconds away from kicking you all out,” Ten mumbled, nursing his own beer as he sat on the floor, relaxing when he felt arms wrap around his waist.
“No, you won’t, you love us,” Kun slurred, head plopping on Ten’s shoulder. He barely complained when Taeyong pulled his beer from him, telling him he’d had enough, everyone laughing at the situation.
“Oh, what about the freshman?” Sicheng said, perking up again.
“What freshman?”
“I don’t know, just heard some freshmen talking about it the other day…I think someone came out or something?” Sicheng said from his spot on the sofa, trying to recall the conversation, “I could try to find out who it is?”
“Oh come on, Ten doesn’t go after freshmen,” Kun said from where he was still slumped against him, “it would be like dating Yangyang…gross.”
“Haha, yeah, gross,” Ten said after a couple of seconds, praying to whatever God was out there no one noticed the way he had frozen in place when Yangyang got mentioned, his cheeks burning bright red. He could never tell them. That realization just made him even more tired, wanting nothing more than for everyone to go home and leave him alone with his thoughts.
He stayed for a few minutes more, entertaining their conversation before yawning loudly. That seemed to do the trick, everyone getting the hint that it was time to leave. He waved goodbye from the door as they all stumbled into the elevator, arguing over whether to get a taxi or just walk home. With an exhausted sigh, Ten closed the door before letting his forehead slump against it, eyes burning with unshed tears. He didn’t want any of Jungwoo’s engineering friends, he didn’t want a random newly out of the closet freshman; he wanted Yangyang. Yangyang who would laugh at his lame jokes only because his jokes were even worse; Yangyang who was always so soft and warm when they cuddled; Yangyang who he could listen to for hours without getting bored; Yangyang who could kiss away all his worries.
Yangyang, who he had fallen in love with.
Ten slid into bed, barely bothering to change out of his clothes. He could feel his head spinning and he knew tomorrow he was going to regret how much he had drunk. He grabbed his phone, blinking away the tears as he opened his gallery; he didn’t have to scroll long before the picture Yangyang had sent him showed up. He had been so happy that night, it seemed like an eternity away but it had only been a few days. Before he could change his mind he opened their messages, staring at all the messages he had sent, unread and unanswered.
To: Yangie 🥰 | 2:57 am
If I did something that hurt you please tell me
Yangyang please
Tell me what can I do to fix this
He waited a few minutes, hoping he would read them. At the back of his mind he knew he was probably sleeping and wouldn’t reply anyway but he held onto the hope that whatever was happening between them was leaving him as sleepless. He finally gave up, typing one last message, rewriting it over and over again just like the previous ones to make sure there were no typos.
To: Yangie 🥰 | 3:15 am
Whatever it was, I’m sorry
And then a whole week passed, and then another and Ten only seemed to be getting angrier. If Yangyang had wanted to break things off he should have just said so instead of disappearing. He knocked another glass down before filling it up again, hands shaky and eyes glazing over. It wasn’t fair.
From: ❌ MISTAKE ❌| 8:53 pm
Hey
Don’t know if you remember but it’s my birthday haha
Was thinking about you
He should leave him on read. He knew he should leave him on read.
To: ❌ MISTAKE ❌| 8:55 pm
Looking for a birthday present?
From: ❌ MISTAKE ❌| 8:55 pm
Maybe 😜
Ten just stared at the message. He was tired of feeling sad. He needed to feel something else and Johnny had always been good at making him feel something else. Deep down he knew it was a bad idea and he could picture Kun rolling his eyes at him in frustration; but picturing Kun just made him think of Yangyang again, his chest tightening painfully.
To: ❌ MISTAKE ❌| 9:00 pm
Come over
He was going to feel something else tonight.
— —
Ten stumbled to the door as Johnny knocked insistently. He never liked to linger outside too long, lest someone saw him. He knew he looked disheveled as he opened the door, eyes wild and unfocused as he looked up at the face he had once loved. Or at least he thought he had loved. He wasn’t so sure now.
“Starting the party without me?” Johnny said with a laugh as Ten pulled him inside by his shirt.
“Shut up and kiss me,” Ten said, right before jumping into Johnny’s arms.
The kiss was rough and uncoordinated, mostly Ten’s fault, but it was exactly what he needed. He let Johnny carry him to the bedroom, not even noticing when he threw him on the bed. And then Johnny was on top of him kissing him over and over again, his body heavy on top of his.
“Let me fuck you tonight,” Ten slurred between kisses, hands sliding to Johnny’s ass before groping it.
“Stop playing,” Johnny said with a snort, reaching back to pull Ten’s hands away.
“I’m not joking.”
“Ten, dude, we - we don’t do that,” Johnny started pulling away, face falling as he stared at Ten.
“Forget it, come here,” Ten said as he wrapped both arms and legs around Johnny, pulling him back down for a desperate kiss. He didn’t actually know why he had said it; couldn’t tell if he actually wanted to do it or just wanted to see Johnny’s reaction. There was a nagging of disappointment in his chest that he couldn’t explain; he had never thought about topping with Johnny, or most people really, Yangyang probably being the only exception. He nearly winced at the pang in his chest when he pictured Yangyang’s face, so he kissed Johnny harder, more desperately, clinging to him like a lifeline until all he could think about were Johnny’s hands bruising his waist, his lips marking his neck, his cock filling him up, pulling stuttering moans out of him.
“Fuck, Johnny, don’t stop, don’t stop” Ten moaned. His back arching off of the bed, nails digging into Johnny’s back as he pulled him as close as possible, mouthing at his neck as if begging for a kiss.
Ten came with a cry, hands flying to Johnny’s head, pushing it down until their lips met in a frenzied, messy kiss. He could tell Johnny was close, his rhythm faltering, his thrusts getting deeper and harsher; it was borderline too much, too rough, Ten couldn’t stop himself from grimacing in overstimulation but he also couldn’t bear the thought of Johnny stopping.
“Don’t stop, don’t stop,” Ten kept repeating against Johnny’s lips, almost like a mantra, body so tightly wrapped around him Ten didn’t know how Johnny could move at all.
And then the moment he was fearing finally came.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” Johnny said as he pushed deep inside Ten, cumming with a low grunt, letting his forehead fall against Ten’s as he caught his breath.
“No, no, don’t stop,” Ten whispered before turning them around so he was on top of Johnny, lifting himself up before sitting back down, trying to ride him.
Johnny couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Ten like this. “Fuck, give me a minute,” he said with a laugh as he turned them around again, using his body to cage Ten underneath him. He took the time to really look at him, he looked desperate and wild-eyed, sweat covering his flushed body, pupils blown wide. “Fucking hell, are you high?” he asked as he leaned closer to Ten, pulling on his eyelids to get a better look.
“No,” Ten said with an eye roll as he pushed Johnny’s hands away.
“Are you sure?”
“Fuck off, I just drank a little and I’m horny for you, is that a crime?” Ten replied, hands falling on Johnny’s chest.
“Hey, what are you doing?” Johnny asked, confusion written all over his face when Ten started pushing him away and off of him.
“If you’re not going to fuck me again you can leave.”
Johnny grabbed onto Ten’s wrists, pinning them above his head, “God, you’re such a bitch sometimes,” he said with a laugh, leaning down to kiss him, “I’m gonna fuck you again, just give a man some time.”
“Are you planning on just staying inside me while you wait?” Ten huffed in between kisses, clenching around Johnny to prove his point.
“Maybe? Or do you have a better idea?”
“I have a better idea,” Ten said with a smirk, freeing his wrists from Johnny’s hold, pushing once again on his chest, “lie down.”
Johnny did as he was told, pulling out of Ten before lying back, leaning on one of Ten’s pillows. He watched as Ten stumbled to his knees before slotting between his spread legs, slowly leaning down until his mouth was just above his crotch. Johnny held his breath, waiting for the moment he would feel Ten’s hot, wet, heavenly mouth on him.
“Tell me you want me,” Ten said, looking up at Johnny from between his lashes, so close to Johnny’s cock he could feel his warm breath on it.
“I want you, fuck, I want you,” Johnny breathed out, one hand falling to Ten’s head, pushing him down until he finally took him in, eyes rolling to the back of his head at the feeling of his mouth around his cock, still a little sensitive from when he fucked him.
Ten let the noises coming out of Johnny’s mouth spur him on, his little ‘ I want you ’ echoing inside his head. In no time Johnny was fully hard again, recklessly fucking his face and it took all of Ten’s willpower to stop him before he came down his throat. There was something intoxicating about Johnny using his body to get off.
“You promised you’d fuck me again.”
“I don’t remember making any promises,” Johnny joked as he flipped them around once again, manhandling Ten until he was lying on his stomach before kissing the back of his neck.
“Is this how you want me?” Ten purred, arching his back and lifting his ass in the air, “fuck, get insi -“. Ten’s sentence was cut short by a gasp as Johnny pushed inside him again, his body covering his as he rammed into him, not giving him any time to get used to the stretch.
“Is this what you needed?” Johnny said, almost softly as he kept fucking him, thrusting inside him over and over again as Ten drooled on the sheets.
Yes. Yes. Yes. That’s exactly what he needed.
— —
Ten woke up with bright light filtering through his window, groaning at last night himself for not closing the blinds. His head was killing him and there was an annoying buzzing noise that wouldn’t stop. It took him a few seconds to realize it was his phone vibrating on his bedside table.
“Shut up,” he groaned again as he blindly reached for it as it stopped vibrating. He squinted at it, his body running cold and his mind immediately alert when he saw the screen. He sat up in a hurry, wincing at the pain shooting up from his sore ass, quickly looking over to the other side of the bed only to remember that, as usual, Johnny hadn’t stayed the night. He grabbed his phone again, the brightness hurting his eyes as he looked down at the screen, the first of many messages staring back at him.
Don't keep my love on the low low (Keep my love on the low low) - Ten/Yangyang (17/?)
“You’re kicking me out,” Yangyang whined obnoxiously as Ten pushed him towards the door.
“I’m not kicking you out, don’t be such a baby,” Ten said with a laugh as he opened the door.
“You are, you’re literally pushing me out of the door,” Yangyang tried once more, “without even a kiss goodbye!”.
“You’re so annoying,” Ten replied, turning Yangyang around as he rolled his eyes before pulling him in for a quick kiss.
He tried pulling away but Yangyang had slyly wrapped his arms around his shoulders, keeping him in place as he dived down for a second kiss. And a third. And a fourth.
“Enough,” Ten laughed softly, hands pressed to Yangyang’s warm chest as he pushed him away, “someone can see us, baby,” he said softly, eyes locked with Yangyang’s. He leaned in for one last kiss before completely pushing him away, “now go,” he said as he closed the door.
He felt like a teenager again, cheeks pink and heart beating so fast inside his chest it was making him sick. Leaning against the door, he couldn’t help the giddy feeling bubbling in his chest, a dumb smile on his lips as he thought about their date, it had been absolutely perfect. Ten fished his phone out of his pocket when he felt it vibrating in his pocket, his smile somehow growing bigger when he saw who had just texted him.
From: Yangie 🥰 | 1:38 pm
i loved our date yesterday ♥️
miss you already
To: Yangie 🥰 | 1:38 pm
Are you even out of the building yet? lol
From: Yangie 🥰 | 1:39 pm
no 😜
“Oh my god, go home!” Ten yelled with a laugh when he heard Yangyang knock once on his door. He let himself fall on his couch, as he and Yangyang texted back and forth, as if they hadn’t spent the last few hours in a car together talking non-stop.
— —
Yangyang had never felt so light, he couldn’t stop smiling as he walked out of the subway station, yesterday’s date playing over and over again in his mind. And then his smile grew shyer, his cheeks burning red at the thought of their night together. Ten could be quite passionate and if it wasn’t for Yangyang asking him not to mark him in visible places, he knew he would be walking around with a bruised neck more often than not. But the night before had been different, something had been different about Ten that Yangyang couldn’t explain. He could try to say it was the alcohol but it wasn’t the first time they fucked drunk. Either way, Yangyang still felt sore and maybe (definitely) a little bruised and he was loving every second of it.
As he walked down a somewhat empty street, his attention was drawn to a jewelry shop with a big banner announcing their new custom flower bracelet service. He knew Ten’s birthday was coming in about a month and he knew how much he loved bracelets so it seemed like a good idea. Besides, he had some money saved up for some new sneakers but this seemed like a better use for it.
“Camellias and baby’s breath?” asked the lady in a platinum blonde bob behind the counter after he explained what he was looking for, giving him a polite smile when he nodded, “for a lover, I see…”
Yangyang didn’t know what to reply. She wasn’t wrong, he guessed, but he couldn’t tell how she had figured that out. But before he could say anything, the lady was moving on, quickly talking about prices and the time it would take for the bracelet to be ready. He couldn’t wait for Ten’s birthday, couldn’t wait to see the way his face would light up when he gave him the gift. He hoped.
— —
The rest of the weekend went by incredibly slowly.
Yangyang wanted nothing more than to see Ten again, spend the whole day snuggled up to him talking about whatever came to mind but Ten had told him he needed to work on his painting and no matter how much Yangyang begged to let him come over, assuring him he wouldn’t distract him, Ten wasn’t having it.
So he sulked at home. And then he sulked some more. At some point he decided to try and do something productive, opening his books and going over his notes but he kept getting distracted by his phone. He went over the photos from Friday night, most of them too dark and blurry to be able really see what was going on but one of them stood out to him. He didn’t even remember taking it. Yangyang had his eyes screwed shut, nose scrunched up mid laugh as Ten kissed him on the cheek, arm around his shoulder, their cheeks and noses tinged a rosy color. God, he wanted nothing more than to post that picture everywhere, show everyone how happy Ten made him. But he couldn’t. Not yet.
He was brought out of his thoughts by his phone vibrating in his hand, looking down to see a notification from Ten, calling him the biggest baby as a reply to the pouty selfie he had sent.
To: Ten ♥️ | 10:57 pm
i missed you today
From: Ten ♥️ | 10:58 pm
I know, I missed you too
You’re so cute
To: Ten ♥️ | 11:02 pm
*we are
Yangyang smiled as he sent Ten their picture together, not needing to wait long before Ten was replying again, sending so many hearts the chat couldn’t keep up.
From: Ten ♥️ | 11:03 pm
We look sooooo drunk lol
But you’re right, we are cute together…maybe we can do something like this again soon?
To: Ten ♥️ | 11:03 pm
i would love that ♥️
Closing his books, Yangyang slid into bed refreshing his messages over and over again until a new notification popped up from Ten’s instagram. He quickly opened it on his second account, his chest swelling in affection at the picture of Ten, smiling brightly at the camera, yellow paint smeared on his cheek, his painting slightly visible in the background. He could feel warmth spreading all over his body as he read the caption over and over and over again.
‘ And nothing can go wrong, living a love song’
——
Yangyang was going to be sick. All day he had felt weird, like a looming presence behind his shoulder watching his every move. He tried convincing himself he meant nothing, he was just being paranoid and when Yongho smirked and winked at him as he walked past he tried convincing himself even harder that everything was okay. And then lunchtime came around.
“Did you hear?” Xiaojun said as Yangyang sat down at their usual table, Hendery and Renjun already sitting across from him.
“Heard what?” Yangyang replied carefully. He had a bad feeling about this.
“Oh God, you didn’t? Yongho didn’t say anything to you?”
“No? What’s going on?” Yup. A really bad feeling.
“There’s a rumor going around that someone saw you with a guy in Busan last Friday.”
No
No
No
“What?” was all Yangyang could say, cold sweat running down his back, his vision going in and out of focus. He was going to pass out, he was honest to God going to pass out in front of everyone. He grabbed his water bottle, taking a shaky gulp, hoping it would snap him out of it.
“It’s bulshit, you were with Kun on Friday, right?” Hendery asked him.
“Yeah, yeah, with Kun.”
In his panic, the look that crossed Hendery’s face went completely unnoticed by Yangyang. He couldn’t believe this. Someone had seen them.
“It’s going to die down eventually…it’s not like you’re actually gay, and once you find a girlfriend everyone will forget about it,” Xiaojun tried to reason, a concerned look on his face.
“Unless…look, you know you can tell us everything, right?” Renjun said, lowering his voice and leaning towards Yangyang, hoping to shield their conversation from prying ears.
“I’m not gay!” Yangyang said, ears turning red and voice shaking in anger. Why couldn’t everyone else just mind their own business?
“It was just a question,” Renjun said as he pulled away, sitting back in his chair, hands up in surrender, a conflicted look on his face.
Hendery quickly tried to change the subject and Yangyang tuned out, not hearing another word they said. Some guy , not Ten, they hadn’t said Ten. Did that mean whoever saw him knew him but not Ten? Shit, would they recognize Ten if they saw him around school?? As if summoned, Ten chose that moment to enter the cafeteria, his eyes crossing with Yangyang’s as a smile appeared on his lips. Before Ten could acknowledge him, Yangyang turned his head, pretending not to see him, Ten’s smile faltering in his lips.
“My - my class is about to start,” Yangyang said as he got up, leaving without another word. He walked towards the building before turning around towards the main gate.
He couldn’t face them. He was going home.
“Should we have not said anything?” Renjun asked back at the cafeteria.
“He needed to know,” Xiaojun shook his head, “this is fucked up…maybe I could introduce him to some of Karina’s friends?”
“Or you could leave him alone,” Renjun said with a sigh. He could feel a headache forming behind his eyes.
“There’s - actually Karina told me one of her friends has a crush on him, we could set them up,” Xiaojun continued, fully ignoring Renjun.
”I really think that’s a bad idea,” Hendery grimaced, “like you said, it will die down…”
“What if it doesn’t? What if this makes him a target?”
“Jun…” Hendery said with a soft sigh, wanting nothing more than to give his best friend a hug.
“No, don’t Jun me, you both remember how bad it was! We’re not letting it happen again.”
There’s nothing Hendery could say in response to that. He had been there. He had seen what they did to him, how bad the bullying got. He couldn’t fault Xiaojun for wanting to protect him even if he thought he was going at it the wrong way. So he just shut up, finishing his food in silence, hoping somehow things would work out.
— —
The next day Yangyang wasn’t in school either. He messaged his friends saying he was sick but they weren’t buying it. The idea of stepping back into school and having all eyes on him left him in a state of panic, nearly hyperventilating every time he thought about the way Yongho had looked at him the day before. And it didn’t help that Ten hadn’t stopped messaging him since the night before. He just wanted to dive into his arms, let him pull him to his chest where he felt warm and safe. How could it be that the only person who could make him feel better was also the reason he was feeling so bad?
From: Renjun 🦊 | 5:48 pm
You have to stop running away
It will only make the rumors worse
To: Renjun 🦊 | 5:49 pm
im not running away
i’m sick
From: Renjun 🦊 | 5:53 pm
Right………..
Yangyang placed his phone on the bedside table before sliding back into his sheets, cocooning himself inside them. Kun would be home soon and he probably should make an effort to not look like he had been crying all day but he would rather die than leave his bed. So he just pretended to be sleeping, actually falling asleep before Kun arrived.
Hours later he woke up feeling lost and disoriented, both hungry and nauseated and sweaty. He felt around for his phone as he heard it vibrate on his table, realizing that’s what had woken him up.
From: Unknown number | 9:37 pm
Hey! It’s Giselle from class~
Got your number from Karina who got it from Xiaojun haha
Apparently you’re sick?
I took some notes for you, maybe I can give them to you when you’re feeling better?
Or maybe come over?
It took a few minutes for Yangyang to comprehend what he was reading. He quickly screenshotted the messages before sending them to Xiaojun, a bunch of question marks as the caption.
From: DJ | 9:46 pm
You’re welcome 😈
To: DJ | 9:46 pm
what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
From: DJ | 9:47 pm
🤦🏻♂️
Talk to her
Before he could say anything else, his phone was vibrating again, the same unknown number appearing in his notifications.
From: Unknown number | 9:47 pm
Oh, was that weird?
I didn’t mean it like that haha
I mean you’re very cute but yeah I just have some notes~~
To: Giselle | 9:48 pm
hi
yeah i got it don’t worry
ill probably be at school tomorrow so we can see each other then?
thank u for the notes
Why did he say that? He didn’t want to go to school tomorrow. Or ever again. Maybe he could transfer? But then he wouldn’t see his friends everyday. Well, they were being annoying so maybe it would be for the better.
With a sigh he got out of bed and walked out of his room. The living room was empty and he could hear soft music coming from Kun’s room so he just followed it, not bothering to knock before walking in.
“Oh, you’re awake!” Kun said as he got up from his desk chair, walking over to Yangyang and putting a hand to his forehead, “no fever, does that mean you’re feeling better?”
“Yeah,” he quietly replied, slapping Kun’s hand away, “is there something to eat?”
“Of course, I left it in the fridge, come, I’ll heat it up for you,” Kun said as he wrapped his arm around his shoulder, pulling him along with him. Yangyang sat quietly as Kun prepared his food, going over and over yesterday’s events.
“Kun?”
“Yeah?” Kun replied, not turning around as he kept stirring the food.
“If someone asks, I was with you Friday night.”
“But you weren’t?”
“I know,” Yangyang sighed, “please…”
Kun stopped stirring before turning around, brows frowned in concern, “is this something I have to worry about?”
“ Gē… ”
“Yangyang…”
“No, nothing to worry about,” Yangyang said, immediately exhausted by the conversation even though he had spent the last few hours sleeping, “please - just - please, if anyone asks -“
“Fine, fine!” Kun said, interrupting what he knew would be one of the typical Yangyang rants, worry gnawing at the back of his brain, “here, eat your food.”
Kun kept Yangyang company while he ate, eventually telling him to go to sleep as he took care of the dishes. But it would be hours until Yangyang managed to fall asleep, tossing and turning in bed, stopping himself from checking Ten’s messages, knowing that stopping contact was the best he could do right now.
When the next day came around, Yangyang was once again regretting his decision to go to class. But deep down he knew Renjun was right, it would only be more suspicious if he kept staying home and it would only cause Kun to ask more questions. The last thing he wanted was to have more people asking him questions.
Don't keep my love on the low low (Keep my love on the low low) - Ten/Yangyang (16/?)
Yangyang pushed himself further against the wall, wishing he could be swallowed by the shadows. He shouldn’t have come. Everyone here was so free , dancing with reckless abandon, whatever little light there was pulsing in time with the beat of the song. Yangyang would have preferred something with a little more bass, the kind you feel deep inside you, shaking your bones until they turned to dust.
He wasn’t free. If he was, he wouldn’t have picked the darkest of gay clubs, two cities away from his own all to…all to what, really? Be sure?
‘ You are sure ’ said the little voice inside Yangyang’s head that he immediately quieted with another shot. He wanted to be free like them. Signaling the bartender, he ordered another shot, hoping the alcohol would give him the courage he so desperately needed. With a deep breath, Yangyang moved away from the bar and walked towards the crowd, his heart beating in time with the electrifying music. He fought through the initial shyness, letting the alcohol in his veins and the loud music dictate his movements until he was one with the crowd. He wanted to lose himself to the feeling. The feeling of the music coursing through him, of hands brushing along his side or his waist, of heat exuding not only from him but from everyone around him.
Yangyang didn’t know how long it had passed when someone approached him from behind.
“Hey baby, wanna dance?” the other man said in his ear, his voice a sultry purr causing a shiver to run down his spine and Yangyang had to really concentrate to understand him over the loud music. He tried to take a look at the man but in the dim club he couldn’t quite see the stranger’s features but from what he could make out he seemed beautiful. As a reply he reached backwards and grabbed the man’s arms and placed them around his waist, grinding back on him.
The stranger’s touch was electrifying. Hands held tightly onto his waist and Yangyang let himself be guided, the stranger’s hips moving deliciously against his ass. He reached back with his arms, wrapping them around the stranger’s neck and exposing his own, a small moan getting lost to the loud music when the stranger nuzzled the crook of his neck and moved up, nosing at the sweaty skin as he left hot, open mouthed kisses. Yangyang had never felt like this, euphoria coursing through him as he tilted his head sideways to kiss the stranger only to be denied at the last second, the stranger’s hot breath still lingering on his lips, a teasing smile on his own, so familiar it knocked the breath out of Yangyang’s lungs for a second before he was being distracted by one of the stranger’s hands sliding down from his waist towards his inner thigh.
~ I wanna know your name ~
Yangyang felt almost dizzy as he let his head drop against the strangers’ shoulder, his heart beating in time with the fast tempo of the song. He moaned again when the stranger’s other hand slid all the way up his body and nestled itself along the expanse of Yangyang’s neck and holding onto his chin, tilting it sideways so he could mouth at his jaw. He knew he should have been embarrassed about the way he was behaving, moaning at the simple touch from a stranger in the middle of a crowd but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It’s not like anyone could hear him over the loud music anyway.
~ You just killed me, could you at least do that? ~
The stranger must have felt the vibrations of Yangyang’s moan against his hand because he laughed, right in Yangyang’s ear and Yangyang could not shake that feeling of familiarity. He opened his eyes, not even realizing they had fluttered shut a while ago and tried, once again, to take a look at the stranger but was blinded by the lights that pulsed in time with the song, weak lights that shone straight in his eyes.
~ I wanna know your name, or better yet stand there, just do that ~
Yangyang’s eyes fluttered shut again when the stranger raised the hand on his thigh, now so dangerously close to where Yangyang’s cock was slowly filling up inside his tight jeans. He would have felt more embarrassed about it if he couldn’t feel the stranger’s own bulge brushing against his ass. He turned his head when the stranger leaned down to kiss his jaw, trying again to get a kiss, a needy whine escaping him when the stranger caressed his lips with his thumb, effectively keeping him away.
“Come with me…” the stranger said, almost shouting over the loud music. Yangyang felt like he could drop to the ground without the handsome stranger holding him up. The stranger seemed to notice the way Yangyang swayed in place and held onto his hand as he pulled him through the crowd, silvers of his skin flashing through his mesh shirt when the lights hit him just right.
Yangyang could only stumble after the stranger, his heart beating so hard he thought he would faint when he noticed he was being led towards the bathrooms. Fuck, this was happening, this was really happening. With blood pulsing in his ears, so loud he could no longer hear the club music he let himself be pulled through the darkest corners of the club until the first flash of bright light from the bathroom hit the stranger. From the back, he was as hot as Yangyang had imagined, lithe but toned and he couldn’t wait to actually see his face. His eyes lingered over his back, his shoulders, before continuing down his arms and that’s when Yangyang felt his blood run cold, the euphoria he had felt mere seconds ago replaced with dread as he noticed the tattoo on the stranger’s forearm, so close to where their hands were joined.
No, not a stranger. Ten.
Out of all the people he could have met in that club, why did it have to be Ten?
Ten - as in his older brother’s friend, Ten.
Yangyang felt like he was going to be sick as he quickly pulled his hand away from Ten’s.
“What’s wr - Yangyang?” Ten asked when he turned around, surprise written all over his face.
“I - I…” Yangyang stammered, not knowing what he should say, his face going pale as his stomach turned. Oh fuck, was he actually going to be sick?
“I didn’t know you were - “ Ten started as he took a step towards Yangyang’s shaky figure.
“I’m not!” Yangyang interrupted, taking a step back, his back hitting against a pillar.
“Baby, I can be discreet, no one has to know…” Ten said again, with that hinted purr Yangyang had heard before. He took another step forward and reached out for Yangyang’s hands, slowly as if he was trying not to further frighten a scared animal.
Yangyang could feel his face growing hot. His gaze darted around as his heart was going wild inside his chest. “No, I’m - I don’t like men!” Yangyang said, his hands coming up to keep Ten from moving forward and for a moment Yangyang feared his obvious lie could be heard in the way his voice wavered. The truth was, he wanted this. Wanted Ten touching him, kissing him; wanted to run his hands through Ten’s hair and grind against him. He wanted it so much it hurt him.
“Okay, okay,” Ten raised his own hands in surrender as he put some distance between them, “I’ll be going then, you know where to find me if you change your mind…” he continued as he slowly turned to leave.
It should have relieved him to see Ten walk away but it only made it worse. Not knowing what came over him, Yangyang reached out to grab Ten’s forearm, right over his tattoo and pulled him back to him, slotting their lips together.
Later, Yangyang would probably blame it on the alcohol but for now he let himself be kissed, let himself be trapped between the pillar and Ten’s warm body. Ten’s mouth was warm and tasted like strong liquor, almost causing Yangyang to feel drunker each second they spent kissing. They kissed hard and deep, Ten’s tongue exploring Yangyang’s mouth with such a hunger as one hand flew to Yangyang’s hip as the other held onto hair. He shuddered against Ten when he felt him push his thigh between his legs and brush against his crotch, a muffled moan echoing in the room causing Yangyang to freeze.
“No, wait, wait,” Yangyang pushed Ten away slightly, looking around in a panicked hurry, “we’re in public, we can’t...”
“And why’s that, baby?” Ten asked, peppering Yangyang’s jaw in kisses before pulling away to look him in the eyes.
“Someone can see us and - “ Yangyang didn’t get to finish the question before he was being pulled away from the pillar and pushed between a nook where two walls crossed, the stone pillar in front of them bathing them in shadow and hiding them from possible prying eyes.
“Better?” Ten asked gently, cupping Yangyang’s cheek with one hand and brushing his hair away from his face with the other. Yangyang just nodded in reply as Ten pulled him into another kiss, softer but no less hungry. He led Yangyang with such an experienced precision, Yangyang couldn’t help but wonder how many times Ten had done this and it made something ache in his chest.
Ten slid his hand from Yangyang’s cheek, slowly down his chest and tummy until he palmed him over his jeans, an appreciative groan leaving his lips when he felt the hard bulge. He moved to unbutton Yangyang’s jeans as he started kissing his jaw again. He paused for a moment, as if he too was having doubts, his fingers holding onto the zipper until Yangyang let out a soft moan, a quiet ‘ please’ leaving his lips as he surreptitiously spread his legs, causing Ten to finally pull him out of his jeans, spitting in his hand before starting to jerk him off, slowly at first but soon speeding up, the same hunger and intensity from when he had kissed him before.
Yangyang moaned loudly, wrapping his arms around Ten’s neck and pulling him closer as one of his legs wrapped around Ten’s waist. He tilted his head backwards, moaning again when Ten licked a stripe up the column of his throat before nipping at his skin until he found a sensitive place to suck on. It was embarrassing how close he was, just from Ten’s hand moving up and down his cock.
“I’m close…” he said with a broken moan when Ten sped up his movements and tightened his fist, his thumb teasing at the head.
“Then cum.” Ten replied, his mouth hot against his neck before he moved up to kiss Yangyang properly, swallowing down his moans as Yangyang came all over his hand, probably getting some cum on their shirts as well.
“Please don’t tell anyone…” Yangyang whispered, barely audible over the club music if Ten wasn’t so close to his mouth, his voice laced in uncertainty as his cock slowly softened in Ten’s hand.
“Your secret is safe with me, I promise.” Ten said sweetly, using his clean hand to cup Yangyang’s cheek and pull him into a kiss while he wiped the other in Yangyang’s shirt, laughing when he was pushed away, Yangyang’s mouth hanging open, looking horrified.
“Ten!” Yangyang screeched, looking from the cum on his shirt to the teasing smile on Ten’s face.
“Oh, don’t pout, baby...my hand was all dirty, what was I supposed to do?” Ten said, eyes wide in fake innocence, his hand sliding under Yangyang’s shirt as he grazed the skin with his painted fingernails.
Yangyang couldn’t help smiling at Ten, causing him to smile in return. Ten had such a beautiful smile, Yangyang felt all warm and tingly as they stared at each other. And then Ten was kissing him again, lazily, the previous hunger no longer present as he explored Yangyang’s mouth slowly.
“I - I need to leave soon…” Yangyang whispered against Ten’s lips as they pulled away, a small yawn taking over his features.
“Cute…” Ten whispered back, “give me your phone…”
Yangyang scrambled to pull his phone out of his pocket, his face falling when he tried to unlock it only to realize it was completely dead.
“I don’t have my phone with me…give me your arm…”
Yangyang took his jacket off, extending his right arm towards Ten, a confused look on his face. His frown only got deeper when Ten pulled out a purple glitter gel pen from his back pocket.
“What - ” Yangyang’s question got interrupted by Ten writing his number on the inner side of his forearm and finishing it with a little heart at the end. “I could have asked Kun for it…”
“Really? And what would be your reason?” Ten replied with a quiet laugh before he blew softly on Yangyang’s arm, trying to get the ink to dry quicker.
“Oh…right…” Yangyang laughed too as he put his jacket back on.
Yangyang let Ten lead him to exit, Ten’s arm protectively wrapped around his waist as they maneuvered through the sea of people. They stared into each other’s eyes for a second, the night’s chilly air causing them both to break out in goosebumps.
“Call me if you want to hang out one day…” Ten said as he pulled Yangyang into a hug, nosing along his neck as he left kisses along the cold skin.
Yangyang just nodded, all of a sudden feeling shy about being so openly affectionate with Ten in public. He still let Ten kiss him goodbye, slow and chaste, his cheeks heating up in Ten’s palms. They finally pulled apart and, as much as Yangyang wanted to stay like this, in Ten’s arms, kissing over and over again, he needed to go back, his eyes getting heavier and heavier by the second.
Ten flagged him a taxi and with one last kiss he was pushing him inside.
“Get home safe, baby…” Ten said, tucking a strand of hair behind Yangyang’s ear before closing the door and waving him goodbye.
Ten watched as the taxi drove away until it was out of sight before pulling his phone out of his pocket to check the time and heading back to the club, ignoring the wink the security guard gave him.
“Yes, pee, I’ve said it, you can laugh” Yangyang said, getting a little cranky, embarrassment clear in the way he turned away from Ten, the tips of his ears nearly fuming.
A fill to the 96' Fest
“What?” Yangyang slurred as he stopped nuzzling Ten’s neck to attempt to look him in the eyes, his own vision blurring at the edges.
“Is there any fantasy you have always wanted to try?” Ten asked again, quickly taking the wine glass from Yangyang’s hand before he spilled it all over their sofa.
In the back of his mind he pondered on the ethics of getting his boyfriend drunk to ask him these sorts of questions but he knew Yangyang would never share it otherwise, too afraid of judgement. He was always like that, with clothes and makeup, with his singing, with his art - always afraid of being judged. But Ten would never do that, he just wanted to make him feel good, give him all he could possibly give him; and that included indulging in whatever kink he had. If only he would tell him.
“Okay, I - I - just promise you won’t laugh?” Yangyang said quietly, eyes still a little unfocused after a long pause, cheeks flushed a bright red and not just from the alcohol.
“Promise,” Ten said, a nervous knot in his stomach. God, why did Yangyang think he would laugh? What if he did?
A thousand scenarios were going through Ten’s mind, trying to prepare himself for whatever Yangyang was about to say. He couldn’t break his trust! Maybe he wanted to dress like a clown? Or worse, make Ten dress up as a clown! Or maybe he wanted to sit on balloons like that lady in that documentary Ten had seen? Or -
“Pee.”
Or - wait, what?
“Pee?”
“Yes, pee, I’ve said it, you can laugh” Yangyang said, getting a little cranky, embarrassment clear in the way he turned away from Ten, the tips of his ears nearly fuming.
“I’m not laughing,” Ten said, wrapping his arms around Yangyang’s frame - when had he gotten so broad? - placing his chin on his shoulder, “what about it do you like? Peeing on someone? Getting peed on?”
Ten punctuated his questions with soft kisses to Yangyang’s jaw, trying to bring him out of his shell again into that nice tipsy state he was in before, relief washing over him. He couldn’t say pee was really his kink but it was doable, especially if it would make his baby happy.
Yangyang hesitated again, enjoying Ten’s kisses as the question turned around in his mind. He couldn’t believe Ten hadn’t laughed and even less that he wanted to know more about it. But still, that didn’t mean he wanted to try it, maybe he was just curious and would tease him about it after.
“Baby,” Ten called out softly, hugging him tighter, “can you be good for me and tell me what you like about it?”
Oh, Ten was using dirty tricks and he knew it but he wanted to know the answer and he couldn’t have Yangyang getting too shy again.
“Actually it’s - it’s mostly pissing myself but - but I like the idea of getting peed on too,” Yangyang said, stumbling his way through his sentence, holding his breath waiting for Ten’s teasing.
“Oh,” Ten said with a sharp inhale, his mind running a mile a minute with image after image of Yangyang in different scenarios pissing himself, looking desperate and embarrassed as he did so.
Ten had to admit it did paint a very pretty mental picture. But before he could get lost in thought, he felt Yangyang trying to move away from him, heart beating so hard in his chest, Ten could feel it jackhammering against his fingertips. Right, he was scared of his reaction.
“Stay,” Ten said, tightening his hold on him until Yangyang stopped moving, “thank you for being such a good boy and telling me,” he continued, letting go of Yangyang so he could move to straddle his lap before kissing him deeply.
Yangyang melted into the kiss, wrapping his own arms around Ten’s waist, pulling him closer together. He felt a little more relaxed with Ten’s lips on his, not pulling away from him in disgust like he thought he would do, even if deep down he was still a little scared of his teasing. He whined as Ten pulled away from the kiss, covering his mouth with his hand to keep him from chasing after his lips.
“I think we should get some sleep so we wake up early tomorrow…something tells me you’re going to be very thirsty…”
“I am?” Yangyang asked dumbly, nearly crossing his eyes as he stared up at Ten, his mind struggling to wrap around what Ten was implying.
“You are, oh so thirsty… but that’s okay, I’ll bring you a nice, cold jug of water first thing in the morning…you’ll be good and drink it all for me, right?”
— —
“Wake up,” Ten whispered in Yangyang’s ear before peppering his neck in kisses, “come on, baby…open your eyes for me…”
“What?” Yangyang croaked, turning away from the light and burying himself under the covers.
“Up,” Ten said, pulling the covers away from Yangyang, laughing at the way he whined, blindly reaching for them, “see how annoying it is when you do this?”
Yangyang finally opened his eyes so he could scowl at Ten, eyes softening and whatever complaints he had getting stuck in his throat when Ten kissed his forehead and called him a good boy. Reluctantly he sat up, wiping the last of sleep from his eyes before Ten was on him again, wrapping his arms around him from the side and pulling him into his chest as Yangyang did his best to remind his brain there were no cameras around and he could relax into Ten’s embrace.
“Go pee,” Ten whispered in Yangyang’s ear as he slid one hand down to his lower abdomen and pressed down, “I want you starting on an empty bladder”.
That seemed to do the trick in fully waking Yangyang up, eyes opening wide as he tried to turn sideways in Ten’s arms. “You meant it?” Yangyang asks, voice small and hopeful as he looked Ten in the eyes, looking for any sign Ten was teasing him. He didn’t think Ten would do that, he liked teasing him but he wasn’t cruel, but still, it was still hard to believe Ten really was on board with this.
“Of course I meant it,” Ten said, holding himself back from scoffing at the doubt in Yangyang’s tone. He had to remind himself of how nervous he had been the night before, his heart nearly beating out of his chest as he trusted him with something he had kept to himself for so long. His gaze softened as he pushed Yangyang down on the bed before climbing on top of him, “can’t wait to see you all desperate, begging me to let you piss yourself,” Ten purred, circling his hips above Yangyang’s before leaning down for a kiss.
Before Yangyang could get too lost in the kiss, Ten was pulling away and climbing off of him, much to Yangyang’s complaining.
“Stop whining and go pee ,” Ten said with a laugh as he pushed Yangyang away, nearly causing him to fall from the bed.
In the bathroom, Yangyang relaxed as he aimed into the bowl, a soft sigh leaving his lips as the first drops came out, followed by a steady jet. It felt good after a full night but it would feel so much better after being deprived of it for much longer - just thinking about it was causing his skin to break out in goosebumps and his cock threatening to start hardening in his hands. He had tried to do it by himself, hold his pee in for as long as he could handle but he never lasted too long, too weak to force himself to hold it. He needed someone to be firm with him, someone like Ten. He walked back into the room, blushing at the way Ten was looking at him, as promised, a big jug of water and a full glass in his hands.
“Drink up, baby, drink as much as you can,” Ten said as he handed Yangyang the full glass. He carded his fingers through his messy bed hair as he drank the whole glass, smiling sweetly at him when he poured himself another. He was always so good, Ten wondered if he would be this obedient when the desperation took over his brain. “Good boy,” Ten purred once Yangyang had downed the whole jug, taking the glass from his hand and kissing his cheek, “should we get some breakfast?”
— —
It had been easy at first. Piece of cake. Ten had fed him soup and kept giving him water and juice throughout the day and it wasn’t until mid-afternoon that Yangyang had started to feel a small pressure in his bladder.
“It’s starting,” Yangyang warned, just like Ten had told him to do, heat burning in his stomach at the look Ten was giving him.
“Good boy,” Ten said, loving the way Yangyang’s cheeks were dusted in pink at the praise, “have another one for me…”
Yangyang did as he was told, how could he not? It excited him knowing he was only going to get more and more desperate from then on and he just couldn’t wait. He asked Ten if he could have a second glass, even if he wasn’t thirsty at all at the moment just so he could speed things along. Ten happily poured him another one, watching intently as he drank the whole thing before lying back down on the sofa, patting the spot in front of him so Yangyang could lie down as well.
Not even an hour later and Yangyang was starting to regret the extra glass of water he had taken. The pressure in his bladder was only getting stronger and, as much as he tried to wriggle around, he couldn’t find a comfortable position.
“Calm down,” Ten said, wrapping his arms around Yangyang’s waist, hands splayed over his lower stomach.
“Ten,” Yangyang whimpered when Ten pressed down on his tummy, right above his bladder, stomach muscles contracting under his touch as his hands shot out to grab onto Ten’s wrists, “please, hurts,” he mumbled, finishing off his sentence with another whimper.
“Oh? Does it hurt, baby? I’m sorry, I’ll stop,” Ten said - voice dripping with so much sweetness it made Yangyang suspicious - reducing the pressure on his stomach but leaving his hands there, petting the soft skin, “ if you drink another glass”.
Fuck. Yangyang knew it.
“I can’t,” Yangyang whined, getting more and more desperate the more he concentrated on his need to pee. He felt so full he couldn’t imagine himself drinking another full glass of water but Ten was looking at him in that way that he knew meant he didn’t have much of a choice.
“What if I make you some tea? It will help you relax, maybe you’ll even be able to take a little nap…”
Yangyang recognized a losing battle when he saw one so he just nodded, unable to stop the small smile on his lips when Ten kissed his forehead and showered him in praise. He sat back as he watched Ten prepare him his tea, trying his best to distract himself from his full bladder.
“There you go, your favorite,” Ten said, truly sweetly this time as he handed him his mug. Yangyang couldn’t stop himself from smiling as the scent of the tea hit his nose - it really was his favorite. It was sweet that Ten remembered how he liked his tea. It would have been sweeter if Ten wasn’t doing it on purpose to torture him but Yangyang would take what he could get.
After giving it a couple of minutes for the tea to cool down and for himself to get ready, Yangyang downed half of the tea with a deep breath. His stomach shouldn’t feel this full, considering how much time had passed since he had drank the water, but it did. It was hard for him to move and if it wasn’t for Ten petting up and down his back and kissing the top of his head, pushing him into finishing his tea with soft praises, he probably would have put the mug down.
“Just one more, baby,” Ten cooed, carding his fingers through Yangyang’s hair, scritching at the scalp, “one more big gulp and you’ll be done with it…”
It was hard saying no when Ten was being so incentivizing. Yangyang just wanted to be good, to keep hearing those sweet praises whispered against his skin, wanted to make Ten proud. So he took one last big gulp, finishing all of the tea before looking back up at Ten, eager for Ten’s approval.
“So good for me, you listen to me so well,” Ten praised, taking the mug from Yangyang’s hand and putting it down on the coffee table before turning back to him, taking his hands in his. They felt warm and clammy in his own and now that Ten was really looking at him he could see the slightly unfocused look in his eyes, his face glistening with sweat.
It was probably time to move things to their bedroom. The last thing Ten wanted was for Yangyang to piss himself in the middle of their living room, risking Kun walking in on them. No one was allowed to see Yangyang this desperate, it was for his eyes only.
“Can you move? I think we should go inside, we can finish our show there”.
Yangyang just nodded, more than happy to go to his bedroom, his stomach exploding in butterflies at the thought of what was probably about to happen. He didn’t give a shit whether they finished the show or not, it’s not like he had been paying attention for the last twenty minutes. Still, he let himself be led by the hand, face twisting in discomfort when he got up, somehow the pressure on his bladder getting worse.
“You’re doing so well, baby, come on, follow me…”
Yangyang had to do a double take as he entered his bedroom, both the floor and his bed covered in towels and puppy pads. Bella’s old puppy pads . Ten looked back at him, a sheepish look on his face as he saw what Yangyang was staring at.
“It’s the best I could find last minute…now go lie down…”
Yangyang sat down, a whimper catching in his throat as he felt a sharp jab on his bladder, his legs clamping shut as he took a deep breath.
“Oh, is it getting worse?” Ten fake cooed as he looked up from the computer before quickly finishing setting up the show they had been watching.
He watched as Yangyang nodded pitifully, an idea forming in his mind. With the sweetest smile he could muster he put the show back on before sitting on the bed, half laying against the headboard, legs spread out and patted the space in front of him. “Come here, it will be easier if you’re not fully lying down…and take your pants off too”
In his pain and discomfort, Yangyang missed the glint in Ten’s eyes as he did as he was told, removing his sweat pants and sitting between Ten’s spread legs, leaning back against his chest. By the time he realized his mistake it was too late and Ten’s hands were already on his hips, so so close to his bladder, massaging his soft skin.
“Ten, I - please I can’t -“
“Shh, watch the show…and pay attention, there will be questions at the end”.
Yangyang wanted to fight back, complain that it was impossible but he knew better than to disobey Ten. So he tried to get as comfortable as possible, legs crossed shut as he took deep breaths, concentrating on the screen. At least Ten’s hands had stayed put on his hips. It wasn’t as bad now that he was actually focusing on the show instead of his bladder, only feeling a sharp pang every couple of minutes, his body tensing whenever that happened, causing Ten to kiss the top of his head. He was lulled into a false sense of security, uncrossing his legs and relaxing against Ten’s body when he felt it. He hadn’t realized Ten’s hands had slowly moved throughout the episode, now lying comfortably above his lower stomach. His body tensed up as another sharp pang hit his bladder almost at the same time as Ten pressed down on it, causing his body to lock up, legs snapping closed once again, one hand quickly grabbing at Ten’s wrists while the other flew to his cock.
“Spread them,” was all Ten said as he continued pressing down on his abdomen in circular motions, ignoring the way Yangyang’s nails were digging into the soft skin of his wrists, leaving behind angry red half-moon indentations.
“I - I can’t,” Yangyang cried out, wanting to look back at Ten but it was too painful.
“You can, spread them before I do it myself,” Ten said, voice firm and maybe even a little mean, “and don’t you dare piss yourself yet”.
He waited as Yangyang tried to calm himself down, almost moving his hands from his hips to his thighs when Yangyang started obeying him, slowly opening his legs, whole body trembling as whimpers fell uninterruptedly from his lips. He sounded so cute like this and Ten was only sad he couldn’t see his face in this position. But he could imagine. His blotchy red cheeks, his eyes brimming with tears already - it was so easy to make him cry.
“Good boy,” Ten conceded, voice sweet once again as he kept one hand on his bladder, every now and then pressing down on it (loving the way it made Yangyang gasp), while the other hand traveled inside his shorts. He was delighted to feel Yangyang was hard already, of course he was. Not fully hard, no, but enough he could tell he was enjoying it. He touched him slowly, wrapping his hand around his cock, moving it up and down as he kept pressing down on his bladder, his own cock stirring in his shorts at the desperate noises coming out of Yangyang’s mouth.
“Ten, I - I won’t be able to hold it, I -“ Yangyang cried out, eyes closed shut, sweat dripping from his forehead. Ten’s hand on his bladder was unrelenting, pressing down on it as he jerked him off at the same time, the mix of pleasure and pain getting him closer and closer to the edge.
“Not yet, baby, not yet,” Ten cooed, lightly lifting his hand from Yangyang’s stomach, “you can do it, you can be good for me,” he continued, laying his hand back down, petting his stomach. He didn’t know if he was imagining things but he almost felt like his tummy was bulging where his bladder was. He must have been feeling so so full , Ten couldn’t wait for him to lose control.
Yangyang let out a little confused noise as Ten moved them around, pulling on his arm until he was kneeling on the bed, straddling Ten’s thigh. Ten could feel the desperate energy coming out of him in waves as he squirmed around, looking down at him with such big, round eyes, eyelashes clumped together with teardrops. And then Ten was pushing his thigh up, right on top of his hard cock, one hand going back to his stomach.
“So swollen,” Ten purred as he pressed down, causing Yangyang to cry out, trying and failing to close his legs, “it’s like you’re ready to burst, poor thing,” he cooed before pulling Yangyang down by the chin into a soft kiss.
“Ten, please, let me - let me -“
“Ride my thigh,” Ten interrupted, whispering in Yangyang’s ear before kissing up and down his jaw, fingers deftly pressing onto his bladder.
Ten’s own cock was rock hard inside his clothes as Yangyang did as he was told. Even if he couldn’t stop whimpering, face buried in Ten’s neck as he tried his best not to piss himself, he still did as Ten told him, always so obedient for him.
“You’re being so good for me,” Ten cooed, wrapping one arm around his waist while petting his hair with the other, “are you going to cum or piss first, baby?”
“Don’t know,” Yangyang whined, letting himself get lost in the pleasure of Ten’s toned thigh right on his cock until he felt something trickle out, “it’s - it’s coming out,” Yangyang said, voice laced in panic as he looked into Ten’s eyes, hands scrambling to hold onto his cock, squeezing it as hard as he could. He felt hot new tears cascading down his cheeks as he searched Ten’s eyes for any sign of disappointment. He wanted to be good for him but he didn’t know if he would be able to hold it any longer.
“You can hold it a little more for me,” Ten said softly, wrapping one hand around Yangyang’s on his cock.
“I - I can’t,” Yangyang sobbed, once again unable to think of anything else other than the sharp pangs of pain in his bladder and the pee threatening to come out at any moment.
“Just a little bit, I know you can,” Ten cooed, using his free hand to wipe the tears from Yangyang’s cheeks, immediately replaced by new ones, “touch me,” he continued as he tried to pull on one of Yangyang’s wrists, causing him to lock up, thighs tightening around Ten’s.
Ten’s eyes softened even more at the sight of Yangyang shaking his head, hand tightly wrapped around his own cock, silently begging him not to make him move. He was too cute for his own good sometimes.
“I’m holding onto you, baby, go on, I got you”.
Yangyang took a deep breath, trembling all over as he let go of his own cock, relieved to feel Ten’s hand taking his place, squeezing the base of his cock with one hand as the other petted his thigh. With shaky hands he slid both hands inside Ten’s clothes, grabbing his hard cock. The thought of Ten getting this hard over him feeling desperate to pee made something twist inside him in excitement.
“That’s it, good boy, don’t stop,” Ten breathed out, sliding his free hand all the way to Yangyang’s mouth, petting his lips softly before pushing two fingers inside, moaning when Yangyang’s warm tongue wrapped around them, covering them in spit. When he considered them wet enough, Ten removed his fingers, sliding them into Yangyang’s underwear, leading them to his waiting hole.
Yangyang let out a groan at the burn when Ten pushed his two fingers inside him, spit not making the best of lubes. Another sharp pang hit his stomach and Yangyang dipped down, crashing his lips onto Ten’s, desperate for a distraction from his bladder. He hoped Ten wasn’t planning on fucking him before letting him piss. No matter how good he always wanted to be for Ten, Yangyang knew he wouldn’t be able to last that long, Ten’s hand on his cock probably the only thing holding him back.
“Sit on my lap properly,” Ten breathed out against Yangyang’s lips as they pulled away from the kiss, fingers lazily fucking into Yangyang’s tight hole.
“I - I can’t,” Yangyang whined, stomach cramping just at the thought of spreading his legs again.
“One last effort, baby, I know you can do it, come on…”
After a small pause and with a shaky breath, Yangyang slowly shifted, passing one leg over Ten’s until he was sitting in his lap, straddling him, body trembling more and more each second. He leaned forward, hiding his face in the crook of Ten’s neck, breathing in deeply, trying to calm himself down, an impossible task once Ten started insistently prodding at his prostate, ripping desperate moan after desperate moan out of him.
“Ten, please, I - I can’t,” Yangyang whimpered, letting go of Ten’s cock so he could wrap his arms around his waist, hugging him close to him, wanting nothing more than to bury himself in the warmth and comfort of Ten’s body. His tears had soaked through Ten’s thin cotton shirt, a wet patch covering his shoulder. In the back of his mind he could hear Ten cooing at him, offering some comfort with his words but nothing was getting to him anymore; he was in too much pain, a continuous pang in his bladder now that Ten was teasing his prostate so relentlessly, as if he was poking his bladder himself.
“Yangyang, baby, are you listening to me?” Ten said after a moment, realizing Yangyang was too lost in his own head. He stopped moving his fingers and was about to take them out of his ass completely when Yangyang nodded, a soft, wet ‘yes’ whispered into his skin.
“I’m listening,” Yangyang said, slowly lifting his head, eyes locked with Ten’s, a quiet moan leaving his lips when Ten went back to rubbing slow circles inside him.
“I’m gonna let go of you now,” Ten said, smiling at the confusion in Yangyang’s face. God, he was beautiful .
Slowly, he let go of his cock, quiet shushing sounds falling from his lips when Yangyang reached for his wrist, eyes closed tight.
“It’s okay, baby, let go,” Ten cooed, pulling his wrist from Yangyang’s hold before cupping his cheek, bringing him closer so he could kiss him. He had held on much longer than Ten had expected and now it was time to make him feel good, “ let go ,” he repeated, eyes boring into Yangyang’s, hoping the meaning of his words would manage to pierce through the mental fog, fingers speeding up inside Yangyang nearly causing his hand to cramp up. It was worth it though.
“Let go?” Yangyang asked in a small, desperate voice, a hint of recognition behind his hazy eyes, chest heaving as he subconsciously ground down on Ten’s lap. He searched Ten’s eyes for the answer, for the confirmation he had understood correctly, feeling his tummy reeling in excitement when Ten nodded, repeating under his breath for him to let go.
Nothing happened at first, leaving Ten wondering if Yangyang had understood and then Yangyang was closing his eyes, hips thrusting up into the air, new fresh tears sliding down his cheeks as soft whimpers left his lips. Ten looked down, breath stuck in his throat when he saw the small wet stain on Yangyang’s boxer briefs, gradually getting bigger and bigger. Okay, fuck, this was happening. Without much thought he slid his hand from where it was still cupping Yangyang’s cheek, thumb rubbing the overheated skin, all the way down to his clothed cock, cupping him over his underwear. He thought maybe he should be disgusted by the hot wetness he found but no, instead all he could think about was how cute Yangyang looked thrusting against his hand, hole clenching around his fingers, breathy moans falling from his lips interrupted by small sobs and whispered ‘thank yous’. And then his own lap started feeling warmer and he looked down to see Yangyang’s pee had leaked down, soaking into his sweatpants. If his cock twitched and drooled some precum at the feeling, no one had to know.
“That’s it, piss all over my lap like the gross baby you are,” Ten said with a laugh, pressing down and rubbing Yangyang’s cock over his underwear, a pleasant fire twisting in his own stomach at the all encompassing warmth of his piss all over their laps.
Yangyang felt euphoric, moans cascading from his lips uninterruptedly, as if he had absolutely no control over them or himself. It felt so good to finally be able to let go, to finally feel that constant stream come out of him, alleviating his suffering bladder. His cock was so hard inside his boxers and the way Ten was touching him, rubbing the wet fabric over his sensitive skin, fingers massaging his prostate so deliciously, wasn’t helping. He feared he might cum as soon as he was finished peeing, that's how close to the edge he was, Ten’s teasing words ringing in his ears, causing his cheeks to burn bright red.
“ Fuck, look at you ,” Ten moaned, squeezing Yangyang’s cock, thrusting his soaking wet crotch up against Yangyang, “all this was inside of you? No wonder you were all swollen…”
“Wanna cum, please,” Yangyang sobbed, eyes shutting once again, the stream finally decreasing as he relieved the last of his bladder.
“Yeah? Are you done pissing? Go on them, cum for me,” Ten whispered, rubbing Yangyang’s cock harder and fingering him faster, before crashing their lips together in a fiery kiss, his tongue pushing his way inside Yangyang’s mouth, swallowing all the fucked out noises falling from his lips.
Yangyang came with a desperate whine, cringing at the cum pooling in his boxers, making even more of a mess inside his soiled clothes. He leaned forward, forehead bumping against Ten’s as they let their heavy breaths mingle together, almost as if they were breathing into each other’s mouths. Before Yangyang could say anything Ten was manhandling him onto his back, climbing on top of him, rutting against his hip, peppering his neck and jaw with kisses, whispering praises into his skin as he chased his own pleasure.
“Fuck, you made such a mess, baby,” Ten breathed out, heat pooling in his stomach at the feeling of their wet crotches rubbing together, at knowing it was Yangyang’s piss.
As he felt his orgasm approach, Ten sat up on his knees, quickly pulling his cock out of his sweatpants, jerking himself once, twice, before cumming all over Yangyang’s stomach with a low groan. He stood above Yangyang, looking down into those eyes he loved so much and then remembered something he had said the night before. Not letting go of his cock, he got closer to Yangyang, aiming at his chest before taking a deep breath and letting go.
Yangyang stared wide eyed, a guttural moan punched out of him as the first warm drops hit his stomach. He didn’t think Ten would go this far. It made his stomach twist, in excitement and shame and something else, something deeper and animalistic, the feeling of being marked, owned. As the jet got stronger, spraying him all over his chest, so so warm , Yangyang threw his head back, moaning softly, hands rubbing at his chest and stomach. God, this was so embarrassing but felt so good.
Ten watched in awe as Yangyang lost himself in the moment, rubbing Ten’s piss into his skin, cock pathetically twitching between his legs, hips lightly bucking into the air. He looked gorgeous and wild and Ten couldn’t look away. But then Yangyang was staring at him with big, pleading eyes, removing his boxer briefs and spreading his legs for him, looking like an absolute dream. Ten quickly turned back into their nightstand, grabbing their lube before lubing himself up, throwing Yangyang’s legs over his shoulders, diving down for a bruising kiss.
“Who do you belong to?” Ten asked, voice raspy and low.
“You,” Yangyang breathed out, throwing his arms around Ten’s neck and pulling him into another kiss, “I’m all yours, look, you marked me”.
Happy with his response, Ten pushed in, bending down for another kiss as a way to shush Yangyang’s slightly pained whimpers, moaning into his mouth at the wet, sticky feeling of his own piss and cum drying in Yangyang’s chest. He never thought this was something he would enjoy but today had opened his eyes.
With quick, brutal thrusts and bruising kisses, it didn’t take long for either of them to reach their climax again. Yangyang came first, as he usually did, always desperate and needy, his cum adding to the mess on his stomach. He lowered his legs, wrapping them around Ten’s waist, encouraging him to keep going as overstimulated whimpers fell from his lips. Ten came with a moan as Yangyang pulled on his hair, leaning down for a softer, lazy kiss once his breathing had slowed down.
“Did I do well?” Yangyang asked, looking deeply into Ten’s eyes, a little nervous to hear his response.
“Oh, you were so good, baby, held on for so long for me,” Ten cooed, brushing Yangyang’s sweaty bangs away from his forehead.
“Can’t believe you did that for me,” Yangyang said after a quiet pause, eyes crinkling as he smiled up at Ten, “thank you”.
“Anything for you, baby,” Ten replied, kissing Yangyang’s exposed forehead before nuzzling his neck, “we need to clean up,” Ten said with a playful grimace, touching Yangyang’s chest to show how sticky it had become.
“Shower with me?”
“How could I say no to that?” Ten said with a laugh, helping an unstable Yangyang to his feet before making their way to the bathroom.
I can live without you (but without you I'll be miserable at best) - Ten/Yangyang
Yangyang couldn't be happier dating Ten, even if it was long distance, but when Ten comes back and the first thing he says to him is that they need to talk, Yangyang is forced to face the reality of their relationship and Hendery is left to pick up the pieces.
A fill to the 2022 Breakfest
“I love you, I love you, I love you” Yangyang kept whispering as Ten thrust into him, fucking him deep into the mattress.
He couldn’t believe this was happening; after so many months of circling around their feelings, Ten had finally kissed him, hungry and full of lust, walking backwards into his bedroom while pulling Yangyang along. Too bad it was the night before he left for China and they wouldn’t be able to fully enjoy this new relationship. But it didn’t matter to Yangyang, Ten was his and that was enough.
“Ten, I - I’m gonna”
“Go ahead, baby, cum for me”
Yangyang came with Ten’s name on his lips, back arching off the bed, toes curling with pleasure. No one had ever made him cum this hard, not even himself.
“I love you” Yangyang whispered once again as Ten reached his peak as well, cumming deep inside him.
“I love you too” Ten said back with a pant, letting his whole weight rest on Yangyang’s body before he had the energy to pull out and roll over on his back, turning his face to look at Yangyang, finding him already staring.
As if controlled by magnets, both turned on their sides, meeting halfway for a mellow, lazy kiss, arms and legs intertwining as if they were both trying to make up for the time they wouldn’t be able to touch each other in the next few months.
~~ ~~
Yangyang couldn’t wait to see Ten. It had been nine months since he had left for China and things were, well, weird . Yangyang would be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed the small changes; Ten’s constant video calls turning into ever shorter and shorter phone calls, turning into texts, daily, then weekly, then once a fortnight. At the same time, Ten would be calling Xiaojun everyday, always talking about him in lives. Yangyang stared at his phone, the last three texts he had received from Ten only asking about the cats.
‘ can’t believe we’ll be together in only a day!!!!! i miss you so much, i love you ❤️’ Yangyang had sent the day before. Ten hadn’t replied. Maybe he was busy with packing and wasn’t checking his phone.
“Ten just texted me, he just landed and should be home in about an hour” Xiaojun said, voice tinged with excitement as he looked up from his phone.
Yangyang didn’t have the time to feel upset over Ten texting Xiaojun instead of him before the excitement over seeing his boyfriend for the first time in so long won over. An hour . Just an hour and he would have Ten in his arms. Or be in Ten’s arms. He didn’t care, he wasn’t picky.
~~
“He’s here, he’s here,” Hendery said as they heard the front door open, everyone running to the hall to greet Ten.
“Welcome home!” they all yelled together when Ten finally made it through the door, pulling along a heavy suitcase.
Ten looked up with a bright smile, letting go of the case and running to Xiaojun, giving him a bone crushing hug, holding onto him for a few seconds before moving to the next person.
Yangyang watched with a pang in his chest as Ten hugged everyone in the group before him. Probably because he knows no one will be able to separate us when he hugs me , his brain supplied. Yangyang really wanted to believe that. When it was finally his turn, he threw his arms around Ten, pulling him into a hug.
Ten stayed still, his arms rigid at his side and before Yangyang could kiss him he placed his fingertips softly on his lips, “we need to talk” he said, so quietly only Yangyang could hear him, “not now, later, okay?”
Yangyang stood in place, dumbfounded as Ten moved into the living room, everyone following close behind asking nonstop questions.
~~
Yangyang had barely eaten. To be honest, he had barely paid attention to anything after Ten arrived. Why did they need to talk? Why didn’t he hug him? Had he done something wrong?
Time seemed to be going by extremely slowly, everyone laughing and eating and drinking as if they had all the time in the world. It was driving Yangyang crazy. When Ten finally looked at him from across the room and discreetly pointed to his room with his head, Yangyang nearly started running.
“What’s - what’s going on?” Yangyang said as soon as Ten entered the room, closing the door behind him. He tried reaching out for Ten’s hand with his shaky one but Ten moved away at the last second, sitting down on his bed and patting on the space next to him.
“We need to talk, baby” Ten said once Yangyang was sitting down next to him, this time taking Yangyang’s clammy hand in his own, petting it with his thumb, causing Yangyang to visibly relax. He hated him for having that sort of power over him.
“Yeah, you - you said that already, what do you wanna talk about?”
“Us”
Yangyang’s breath caught in his throat. He knew what was coming. He knew - had known all along really - and he wanted to run away but it was as if he was rooted in place, watching from outside his body as Ten broke his heart.
“This - us - was a mistake,” Ten started, “the time I spent away made me realize some things about my feelings and it’s best for both of us if we part ways”, he continued, with slow, measured words, his thumb still petting the back of Yangyang’s hand.
“You said you loved me” Yangyang said, voice so small and vulnerable it was barely louder than a whisper.
“I thought I did, but - but I don’t, not in that way” Ten said, his heart heavy and tight, “I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have waited so long but wanted to do this in person” he continued, wiping the silent tears falling down Yangyang’s cheeks.
Yangyang could barely react. It was like time had stopped for him and all he could feel was pain. So much pain. He felt like his throat was going to close up, like he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs, maybe that was for the better. Dying sounded like a better alternative to what he was living right now. How long had Ten pretended to love him while he waited to break up with him in person?
“Baby, baby please talk to me” Ten said as he continued wiping Yangyang’s tears, now with both hands. He wasn’t saying anything, just staring into the horizon, tears cascading from his eyes. It scared Ten, he had never seen Yangyang like this before. “Yangyang, look at me”
“What - what made you realize you didn’t…”
“It was more a question of who” Ten thoughtlessly said, regretting it the moment the words came out of his mouth. Yangyang would find out about it eventually, probably, but this wasn’t the moment.
“Xiaojun?”
“Baby, it’s not important right now”
“Please Ten…is it Xiaojun?” Yangyang asked, searching Ten’s eyes for an answer and he knew he found it when Ten avoided his gaze, head hung low. Without another word he ran out of the room into his own, pained sobs wrecking his chest. How could someone he loved so much hurt him like this?
He must have cried himself to sleep, waking up early in the morning, his stomach hurting from hunger. Quietly to not wake up the others, Yangyang made his way to the kitchen, stopping dead in his tracks when he heard voices.
“Did you talk to him?” Dejun.
“Yeah, it’s over, we’re over” Ten.
“So…does that mean we’re free to…”
Yangyang couldn’t move away as he heard the wet sound of lips moving together, of their harsh breaths as they pulled away.
“Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do this for months,” Yangyang heard Ten whisper, his ears always attuned with Ten’s voice, his blood running cold at the memory of Ten whispering those same words to him all those months before, of how his skin had broken out in goosebumps under Ten's caresses, “but let’s keep things quiet for now, for Yangyang’s sake”
“Yeah, I can do that” Yangyang could hear the smile in Xiaojun’s voice before the sound of kissing came back, inundating his ears, his thoughts. It’s all he could hear.
“That’s enough,” Yangyang nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard someone whispering in his ear, “don’t do this to yourself”, he turned to find Hendery standing right behind him, “come on, get dressed, I’ll take you out for breakfast”. Yangyang let him wipe his tears and pull him away, one arm tightly wrapped around his shoulder as he led him to his room, leaving behind the deafening sound of kissing and whispered love confessions.
~~ ~~
“No one would hold it against you if you didn’t go, you know that right?” Hendery asked as he fixed Yangyang’s bow tie before fixing his own in the mirror.
“It’s been years, Hen…”
“Two, two years…for perspective, you guys dated for nearly one”
“Hen, I’m over him"
“Right” Hendery replied, his tone showing that he very much didn’t believe him. But he didn’t want to push, afraid of causing Yangyang even more pain.
Yangyang could say he was over Ten as much as he wanted, pretending all the nights he had slipped into his bed and into his arms crying uncontrollably had never happened. But Hendery knew the truth.
“Let’s just get this over with,’ Yangyang sighed, fiddling with his bow tie one more time before Hendery slapped his hand away, dark circles under his eyes a witness of the many sleepless nights he had gone through lately, hollowed cheeks and prominent bones a mirror of the emptiness he felt inside.
They quickly finished getting ready and got in the car, they rode in silence to the venue, Hendery taking glances at Yangyang from time to time, wanting to make sure he was okay, slowly sliding his hand to Yangyang’s, intertwining their fingers together and squeezing his hand in what he hoped would be a reassuring gesture.
~~
“Hen, I lied” Yangyang said with a quiet sob, “I still love him”.
“I know, come here” Hendery said with a pained sigh, opening his arms for Yangyang, wrapping him in a tight hug. Yangyang didn’t need to tell him; even if he hadn’t known already, he had seen from the corner of his eye the quiet tears falling down Yangyang’s cheeks during the ceremony, had felt the way Yangyang held tightly onto his hand when Ten said ‘I do’, so tightly he felt like he might break his hand. He would gladly break both hands if it meant decreasing the weight on Yangyang’s chest. He hated them for hurting him like this. Yangyang was too good, too nice, afraid of hurting their feelings by saying no when they clearly didn’t give a shit about his, what good did it do to pretend everything was fine between them? Who invited their ex to their wedding?
Hendery held Yangyang’s crying form in his arms, rocking him from side to side as he sobbed into the crook of his neck, one hand carding through his soft hair, his own chest feeling so tight it was actually painful, his own eyes filling with tears for this lovely boy suffering in his arms who deserved so much more. He would do anything to make him smile, God he had such a pretty, gummy smile , Hendery couldn’t remember the last time he had seen it. He would give anything to be the person making him happy, showering in the love and affection he deserved. But Yangyang would never see him like that and he was too much of a coward, too afraid of losing him if he showed him how much he loved him.
So he held him, as he always did, whispering sweet, calming words into his ear, hoping that would be enough.
