kayden

But stay and we'll set the night aglow...

[subconscious-haven]

INTRO LASER BLAST

HIII my names Kayden or Asriel

Alterhuman • Neurodivergent • Minor

Ask to be moots, I’ll probably say yes, just make sure you post content other then reblogs and have already followed me :)

Therian 

Confirmed

Maine coon suntherian

Questioning

Fox

Marten Conceptkin 

Confirmed

Fog conceptkin

Fictionkin

Confirmed 

Asriel Dreemurr (doubles + mediamates are a-ok to interact)

Questioning

Mechanic Inkling

Near / Nate River / N

A Sonic Character (…)

Daijin

 LGBTQ 

Confirmed

Aromantic

Asexual

Non-binary

Pronouns

Any and all, use whatever you think fits me, including xenos. Only rule is you can’t use one exclusively.

Fandoms 

(From most active to least atm)

Vat7k

Tangled the series 

Undertale

Deltarune

Sonic

Deathnote

Splatoon

Pokémon

Tags 

Trash posts: #half baked notion

Past-lives: #dwellings

Ranting: #cacophony of meows

Reblogs: #repurr

Identity’s; #to thine own self be true 

Art: #doodle haven

Questions: #clueless feline

Irl: #beyond the door

Asks: #gives a brain cell

DNI

Tr*mp or anyone associated with him supporters, aka assholes

Also antis, don’t know why you’d be here in the first place 

Uhh everyone else you’re good I really don’t care

•like all things this post is subject to change•

[blue0909]

Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.

THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????

[miketon]

[daysleftofsecondterm]

All the genders were gone when I checked today. Good thing I stocked up.

[subconscious-haven]

JUNE 24 DELTARUNE TOMORROW

[the-irreverend]

And stay safe everyone!

[subconscious-haven]

song from my notes app

Whose to blame

When it’s an honest mistake

And the trust you took the time to build

Suddenly is erased 

Subtlety we shift the camera

To the other side

Sneaking in bit and pieces

Of a normal life

Someone has to take responsibility 

To create a sense of normalcy

I swear it’s not complacency

Cuz eventually when they see

That everything’s fine and dandy

There will be no one demanding

That someone gets punished 

For such small remark

Light the fire like a spark

A riot arises with just few words

Make your choices 

Pack your bags

The cut off tongue is all you had

Choose between yourself and your name

Does there have to be someone to blame

A scapegoat pictured frame by frame

And the headline reads

There is someone who will pay for this

A nasty crook playing tricks

The difference between night and day

Something sinister is at play

Is your pride really worth dying for

Clear your name or be replaced

All of this to save face

Pain is what you make of it

So let’s draw up a cure

All sins will be forgiven

Like they never happened

And it won’t matter who takes the guilt

When the sides have already split

To say everything will be fine

Would be a twisted lie

But the water blurs even the clearest cuts

Like the confusion wasn’t enough

So we ignore the lingering suspicion 

And continue to connect one by one

Grey area nuanced

The rambling that never made sense

To try to define a crime 

that was never committed 

The people’s opinions already shifted

The picture of innocence

And the headlines read

Surely this lad is no traitor

It’s a simple truth and nothing more

We simply misunderstood 

What really occurred

[subconscious-haven]

Freckles are gay af where did you get them from? frolicking in the sunshine and flowers? 

[kitten-of-bast]

Human kids should be allowed to act like animals even if it turns out they aren't actually therianthropes. Let the kids connect with their bodies and move in ways that aren't so restricted.

[long-lost-coyote]

There’s something about this specific kind of creature/aesthetic I’m seeing that I’m relating to so deeply

[subconscious-haven]

[homosexuality-offical]

@satan-offical you have 12 days to rule tumblr. After that, I take over for 30 days.

[satan-offical]

WHAT

[satan-offical]

Oh it's pride moth

[k9-cryptid]

happy pride moths

[hares-lyre]

This post mentions delusional attachments (in the context of IRLs and I suppose fictionkin?). It's a bit "heavy", read at your own risk.

Disclaimer: I am NOT calling all fictionkins delusional or anything in this post. I am discussing a rather personal matter that pertains to myself and only myself. Please be mindful of that when reading this.

I've never really talked to anyone about this after it was over and it's been weighing on my mind ever since re-exploring the alterhuman space. Since having the belief and/or identifying as a fictional character was very welcomed here, it made me feel conflicted with something that happened during the time I stopped identifying as alterhuman.

If anyone was on instagram during 2021-2022(? i believe), you may have come across accounts that claimed themselves to be "IRL"s of fictional characters. Some did disclaim they had DAs, some didn't for one reason or another. As I am with any new thing, I did lots of research regarding it and was like "Hey this kind of matches what I feel towards a certain character". I began identifying as that character and even told others to refer to me as such too.

That next half year was. genuinely the worst. So awful that I barely remember bits and pieces from it. When Recognizing that character as my identity, I became increasingly uncomfortable with so many things I was usually somewhat okay with. I didn't want people shipping him/me with other characters he/I didn't really like. I didn't like seeing other people roleplay as him/me (in private groups I joined), especially if he/i was mischaracterized. It was even worse when it came to people who didn't really understand what I was trying to tell them, that I was that character and that character is me. It felt like my brain was shattering with each little "reality check" I got.

And with the knowledge (at the time) that this was apparently a delusion, that I was clinging to something that wasn't real and that it was wrong/unhealthy to be delusional: I crashed. I don't remember what I did or what happened during said crash. The only "proof" I have of it happening was a short vent animation I made. I don't remember if I talked to someone or if I got help or anything. My memory is completely blank at that timestamp.

Moving forward from that, I had a "dislike" towards people who claimed to be a fictional character. A dislike similarly to those who hate on alterhumanity, where there's no room for attempting to understand, just blind dislike. But for me, it wasn't blind. It was internalized hatred for myself. I was hurt and didn't understand why things happened to me the way it did and that hurt was projected onto others.

Now that I've kind of had time to "cool off" and accept information with open arms and explanation: I'm still uncomfortable in a sense, seeing fictionkins. I know this time, it isn't entirely dislike but a deep-rooted worry. I don't want anyone hurting or to be "reality checked" like I was. I want everyone to be safe and out of harms way.

I know a part of me still feels like certain fictionkins should get support/therapy, specifically people who are uncomfortable with doubles, other characters from the same media ect. Not because "they're ill" but because I know how isolating that can make one feel. It's the internet, where you mightve been first introduced to the media. People say unsavory things, hate on characters and generally can be really nasty. Seeing that stuff back then when I identified this way really broke me, it all felt personal. I don't want someone to see that and go through what I did.

I've come to understand/accept that not all delusions are actually "delusions" but rather, a belief. And everyone has beliefs of some sort. And even if someone is experiencing "delusion", as long as they aren't harming themselves or others, it truly doesn't matter.

But even with that, I'm not sure I'll ever get to a point of wanting to "accept" that character I identified as as myself again. I know it's entirely fear making me feel that way but I can't shake it. This time, I don't fear judgement from others, I'm afraid of losing myself and being considered even more "ill" than I already am.

[subconscious-haven]