9 self-help (and life-changing) books that you can read this year.
There are thousands of self-help books out there, mostly saying the same stuff like, “Follow your passion.” Whatever that means. Everything sounded so easy – motivation is like simply taking out a cold beer from the fridge on a hot day, and success sounded more like a dessert you deserve after the emotional distress of a heartbreak. For most of them, I always end up asking for more questions, being more confused and lost than ever. Frustrated enough, I find myself closing the book halfway and negating the author’s argument entirely just because he/she has turned simple concepts into total abstraction. However, for 2020, amidst the on-going global pandemic, I decided to scour through the world of self-help and find out if any book is GOOD enough to influence my actions. These are my top self-help book recommendations that helped and I highly recommend for you to read in 2021 and beyond.
9. Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal by Donna Jackson Nakazawa
I had no idea that one book has all the scientific basis that early childhood experiences can shape our emotional lives as adults. For Nakazawa, childhood trauma is linked to chronic pain, depression, inflammation, and other diseases that are felt as we get older. She examined 18 individual cases who experienced different childhood environments. Although, I am still not sure if she “cherry-picked” such cases to support her point (speaking in a researcher fashion), but she convincingly talks about how our current lives may be connected to how we were raised in childhood.
8. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
I am not a big fan of self-help books that contain exercises that you answer after every chapter. I believe that reading self-help books need to be a relaxing and enlightening experience. However, there is something about her compelling tone of writing that I eventually did her exercises. She takes you on a mental reprogramming journey – unforgiving in some respect – because she wants you to face your past with no more excuses. This is one of those lovingly written books that you can read over a cup of coffee on a rainy afternoon.
7. What To Say When You Talk To Your Self by Shad Helmstetter
I can hear myself in every chapter. This book is for eliminating all the negative self-talk and work your way towards positive thinking and a greater understanding of self-compassion. It is easy to tell someone, “think positive,” exempting any Covid-related cases of course, but this book explains why it is hard to think positive unless you are actively and mindfully engaged in the way you talk to yourself.
6. How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
It felt like Dale was my grandfather from another realm. He talks so candidly yet so professionally along with the sense of, “Get over yourself. The Universe does not revolve around you.” I find myself in better and favorable situations whenever I am reminded of Dale’s advice on becoming genuinely interested in other people and their interests instead of your own. I know so many (and even dated them) who only talk about themselves. This is not to offend anyone whose hobbies are completely worth talking about, but remember that people have diverse interests and if you want to be liked as a human being, stop making everything about yourself. And if you are the type who doesn’t want to be liked then I might as well assume that you are an absolute assh***.
5. The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make The Most of Them Now by Meg Jay
“30 is not the new 20.” Ouch. I wished that somebody has recommended this book earlier. But it is not yet too late. That’s the point of Meg. She contends that young millennials stop acting like young millennials and just suck it up. Suck. It. Up. Don’t get out there looking for colorful bean bags and remote work with lots of travel. Although I do not agree to her point on marrying earlier, this book recognizes that as we mature, there is always a lot more to do, to work for, and to achieve.
4. The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
I finished this book by saying, “Man, this book makes a lot of sense.” All small actions accumulate (or compound) over time. It’s a page-turner. Darren talks in simple and actionable terms. After reading this book, I calculated how much time I spend on social media: I check my Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and Youtube for around two hours every day. Two hours a day multiplied by 365 days a year accounts to 30 days just by using social media! So, every year, I have been unknowingly wasting a month of my life browsing random stuff that I do not care about. The old saying, “every little action counts” is 100% true.
3. Mini Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results by Stephen Guise
“It’s too small to fail.” I wish that I had read this a long time ago. I have always believed that motivation plus willpower is the recipe for a more fulfilling life. Guise believes that life is comprised of mini “stupid small” actions that you do every day which will either make or break you in the long-term.
2. The Dorito Effect by Mark Schatzker
Everything that comes with its own packaging is GARBAGE. Modern food culture is anything but healthy. Although, Mark argues that, healthy food has evolved to become blander than ever – and as food technology advances further, so does our waistlines. I highly recommend this book for those who wish to make healthier choices and especially for those who are transitioning or oscillating between keto to a plant-based diet, like myself.
1. Atomic Habits by James Clear
If I have to read one book over and over again for the rest of my life, I would choose this every single time. His style of writing is simple, smart, and straightforward. I never like a writing style that uses too much scientific data and motherhood statements yet I can never figure out his/her whole point in a paragraph. My mental and physical health has never been better. James makes you believe that any goal is attainable if you can tweak the daily habits that favor you and your environment the best. I even signed up for his weekly newsletter because I could not get enough of how his mind works. Atomic Habits is like my own mentor in a book form.
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