Hey, Boo

19. UK. I'm rather lost and pretty sad but I smile a lot. Nice to meet you. 

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Tomorrow I turn 20. Less than 2 hours. I am excited for the changes coming my way. I am excited to begin this new chapter. Am I still struggling? Yep. Do I get negative thoughts? God yes. BUT I am mentally fighting a damn lot and I am really getting glimpses of a future without an eating disorder. I am making progress, and when I turn 21 next year i am going to make darn well sure that anorexia is no where in sight 👊🏻. Oh, and I will also be posting properly as of tomorrow/Friday (I know I've said that a lot but I promise you this time 😝). I love you all such a lot- you guys rock ok, and I swear to god EVERYONE, me, you- we all have it in us to beat our demons, whatever they may be. Never give up you beautiful things ❤️

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😌💭💭💭💭💭

[heyitsmedemi]

[indigoelevendesign]

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Good morning and a happy Monday ☀️. A beautiful day, and a very important message/reminder. Picture this- an aeroplane is running low on fuel. You want to go on holiday so decide to take a flight in the plane running low on fuel, because 'I'm sure it'll be fine. It's only fuel.' Except it's not just fuel, it's avoiding a plane crash. It's not risking your life. No one would ever travel in an aeroplane that might crash. No one would expect a plane to travel thousands of miles without sufficient fuel. Guess what? Our bodies are the same. The mind can try and say otherwise, but the fact of the matter is- no one can expect to live fully, and function optimally without the necessary energy. This is not a 'less is more' scenario. Less is less, and the consequences are not worth the pain. Please eat and enjoy your food ❤️

[theloveyourselfchallenge]

[joonchi]

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Home Comforts

Back home from uni for 10 days and so far it's been lovely! Previously my trips home have always involved quite a bit of tension because of my parents (unsurprisingly) being worried and expressing those worries in ways that would upset me. However today couldn't have been much better. I'm super excited to see all my best friends- Charlotte and Hannah tomorrow, Leah Thursday, Jake Friday, and Charley Saturday- it'll be a busy week! And I have a statistics report due in on Thursday which I've rather a lot left of to do, but hey ho! It will get done. For now, I'm tucked up in my bed watching Inception whilst reading through some work. Very content 😌

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For everyone. Please.

[dailyinspirationquotes]

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This is a quote that greatly inspires me. Particularly in regards to recovery. My healthy self hopes for a future that involves helping others; helping others find the fight inside themselves to recover. And when I think of the people who have helped me, on the whole I don't focus on the specific words they've told me, but on how inspired they made me FEEL. They have made, and do make me feel hope, positivity, and motivation. How wonderful to be able to make another person feel such positive emotions

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Just for now..

This will be the tumblr blog that I use regularly. It feels really nice having a somewhat ‘fresh start’.  I will say that I will be more raw and honest here, but I am also still the same me- doing my best to fight and stay positive and motivated 😌 All my love E (ed-vs-erin)

[demiiwhiffin]

[annellister]

Kate Winslet gives this INCREDIBLE advice for young women, BAFTAs 2016

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After 10 years I honestly do not for a second believe things will get better anymore

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Good job that I know they will, and I have enough faith in you to make up for your lack of it xxxx

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From my magazine. The highlighted section is what I think is the most important take home message here. I also think it's incredibly important to add that yes, it is difficult for people around you, but you should always recover for yourself. It's utter hell for YOU and that is reason enough to fight.

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Self-Reflection

Do you know, it’s so incredibly easy to get stuck in a downward facing spiral. And that’s where I have been a lot recently. Last night was one such example; I made this blog on a whim because I was wallowing in self pity.  Now I’m reflecting on the situation. And it’s crap. I had a really nice day. My uni friends really made me feel appreciated and loved.  I’m heading home tomorrow, and I am a little nervous I can’t lie. I haven’t gained weight like I ought to have done so no doubt my mum and dad will be pretty disappointed/annoyed. Today, I will mentally prepare myself for that. I will eat good food, focus on my uni work, and socialise with my friends. I will prioritise, and be grateful.  Enough of slipping. Time to get my ass back on the pro-yay-recovery wagon.