sunset

‘01 | from the lights to the pavement

[subst4nce4buser]

too cunty to be whimsical, too whimsical to be demonic, too demonic to be divine, too divine to be cunty, and just the right amount of all four

refreshing for a journal update

flash flash flash photography!!

xx 𖤓

[subst4nce4buser]

rabid beast, dislocated jaw with cascading spit, foaming, bubbling acid over my lips. growling low and loud; this is my heart. howling.

mine. mine, mine, mine, mine. mine, mine, mine.

i will to devour what’s truly mine; rip it to shreds with my claws, tear it apart with my teeth. i want the blood, the flesh. i want to live in between your ribs, be your ache— the pinch of heart that cuts your breath. i want to keep your hair and your nails and your teeth and bits of your skin. somewhere safe. in a locket, a vial, always hanging from my neck.

i’m on a leash, muzzled, only nibbling your surface without piercing it. mouth brushing— bruising is all i can do if i want to keep you whole. slide my fingers under your shirt, in your jeans ‘cause i can’t dig them deep within your skin. i can’t help this ringing that’s in my ear, buzzing.

mine. mine, mine, mine, mine. mine, mine, mine.

what will happen when i’ve finally licked your bones clean? no love can be contained by a carcass, but i’ve got nowhere else to put it. i’m keeping you whole.

xx 𖤓

[subst4nce4buser]

come and devour

[valleys-of-powerlines]

say it with an australian accent and it becomes pearlescentmoon at the end of double life smp

[subst4nce4buser]

my skin is pale enough to show you all my veins. weaving purples, the blues under diaphanous surface. is it scary for you, father, this glimpse at my insides? the sun will bring out my scars as much as my freckles. is it repulsive to you, mother, this glimpse at what’s hidden? i look soft again— won’t you hit me again until i harden?

i’m bleeding all over, gushing from my healed wounds. too busy barking and gnarling and biting to be licking them clean.

im horrible, narcissistic, ungrateful, angry, spiteful, bitter. i’m seventeen. it’s getting to me. all i can do is damage control. all i ever do is damage control. that’s all i ever do. damage control.

xx 𖤓

[subst4nce4buser]

this cigarette feels like swinging in the night.

i got all the colours i’ve forsaken back on my nails. yellow, pink, i feel sick and the dishes clink. purple, teal, i feel like a child — stand still. ticking, ticking, ticking, clock is turning. back to— back in, back in, time. three days, three cigarettes. i won’t drink so this is the next best thing. clean slate for the sunset, almost sedated.

for ten days, i’m setting.

xx 𖤓

[c4dyyy]

been a biiiiig fan of girlkey lately

[c4dyyy]

remake of my girl iero post since the last one got flagged :(

this is her!! i’m thinking her name is frankie bc im unoriginal and frankie fits imo

[c4dyyy]

this is the lovely girl ray!! i think she keeps her hair in a little ponytail to avoid having to do it but it’s beautiful nonetheless

[rilawind]

Lights trembling on the Seine,
curling into seahorses of gold
as if the river remembers
what we are too afraid to name.

Somewhere, a voice breaks
the one who never found the courage
to ask you to stay
its echo caught beneath the arches
of Pont des Arts,
soft as regret,
endless as water.

And yet
you are here.

Red pants brushing closer,
a quiet gravity pulling you into me,
as if a single week
has rewritten the language of time.

I am impatient with distance,
with the idea of later
when now is already too brief.

So let the world wait.

Let me sit beside you,
shoulder to shoulder,
while the Eiffel Tower flickers
like a secret we almost speak,
shimmering between buildings,
between breaths,
between the things we dare
and the things we don’t.

[petiteluhvr]

Bring back 2014 tumblr!!!

[rilawind]

like a clementine,

i’ll sweeten your hands

for a moment

then leave only the scent behind

peeled open,

sectioned,

devoured without ceremony

until even the memory tastes faint

i am the game you swore you loved,

now missing pieces,

a rulebook no one reads

the toy you begged for

now dust-soft in the attic,

sunlight touching it

more than you ever did

i am the almost

the version of us

that never learned how to stay

because that’s what happens with me:

i arrive,

i am wanted,

i am used to completion

i loosen from your grip

so don’t linger here

don’t mistake this for something that holds

you won’t get trapped

i am always already

leaving

[rilawind]

waiting for you at the altar of lust,

standing tall among the sea of flickering lights,

knees bleeding from preaching too hard.

if the lilies were a dare, it was one you never took,

one you could never bear.

get rid of my flesh, as it is nothing more than what you could know,

transforming my wishes and habits.

you chose not to know her—

you’ll never know me.

[subst4nce4buser]

tapping fresh strawberries on my lips before kissing my lesbian so they think i’m of the divine

[subst4nce4buser]

good friday.

last year, i listened as lorde rhymed "beaches" with "jesus", laid on bondi's sand and stared at the sea for easter. tried not to think about my mother; i'm trying not to think about my mother.

good friday.

this year, i took an everything shower. grey and misty weather, even if the sun is getting closer. they translated a sin as homosexuality so there will be no mass, no eggs, no prayers. only blessings in form of blasphemies for me on easter.

good friday.

jesus, you died, so long ago today, for all of our sins; i'll make this three-days week-end worth your sacrifice. jesus, you'll be glad to awaken— there will be no treason, only grand lesbianism.

good friday.

i lit lilith's candle and i wear a birthday cake scent as a suit. i love when religious holidays and sapphicism embrace each other on my calendar. that's real holiness. god is gay and this music may contain hope.

xx 𖤓

[rilawind]

starring at the mirror across my room

1,2,3 it will happen to me

a handful of gum, a lighter and 2 cigarettes

half an apple, a band shirt and that stupid blond strand of hair

1,2,3 it has happened to me

who am i if desire’s out the table? if love was never meant and if words mean nothing

bite the apple

empty pocket, my throat is tight

1,2,3 it’s happening to me

i knew it would

two feet in, and crossed fingers

1,2,3 it will happen to me

pinkie promises never meant a thing

bite the apple

[subst4nce4buser]

@rilawind