The goodbye letter.
I hate that I find myself thinking about you late at night. It’s almost like every other day - and I can never really pin point exactly why.
I don’t love you. I don’t even like you. There are no feelings here.
But why am I so drawn to you?
Perhaps we were so electric.
Magnetic.
We both knew it was hard to be apart when our hands could never be beside us when we were together. The breath that leaves your soft lips that brush through my hair to the back of my neck, a heaving gasp waiting to be captured.
Perhaps I miss your desire. Being desired. Having desires of you. The feeling of being wanted has been yearning upon. When all I see is tunnel vision - a vision of our skins colliding.
As the nights creep, your voice echoes deeply. The lasting memory of “Good girl” replays like a broken record. Though its melody sings me to sleep. A lullaby some might say…
The challenge I am met with concurs my integrity. Questions my sanity, and my once perception and feelings of monogamy. Heart so big, love means no bounds, yet there is no love here at all, but devilish temptation.
How do I beat this battle when all the fibres of my being continuously race towards yours? When all of me, wants to feel desired again, in the way that you have so effortlessly shown.
I forgot, what it once feels, to be wanted that way you wanted me.
But these must be my last words or I won’t see myself coming back from this, for all I know, is nothing good.
So goodbye dear, my heart so fears.
