I like puns

90% of my diet is bananas

[damagedpetal]

i just want all my secrets back, i don’t want anyone to know anything about me anymore 

[fessenger]

I’m the person who’s 100% down for spontaneous adventures but also 100% down to lay in bed all day.. i’m on both ends of the spectrum

(via bled)

[just-shower-thoughts]

It’s strange how the the brain doesn’t register a second ‘the’ when written next to another ‘the’.

[castiel--for--king]

…fuck

[bachmaninovsky-deactivated20160]

[taterth0t]

If we date you're gonna have to get used to me always wanting to touch you

[ragnorfalling]

me: bake off is over what the fuck am i supposed to do with my life now bbc one: a new series of the apprentice starts next wednesday me: oh right

[featherandarrow]

[poigneedeporte]

20 minutes into “pink floyd and chill” and the first song isn’t even over yet

[virgofaeriegirl]

[kyaneos-blog1]

Jesus omg oh mygod holy lord

[reaperneeshy-deactivated2018071]

They’re evolving…

[hoodoodyke]

This is exactly the thing we’ve been talking about, with abusers adopting the lingo of groups and exploiting their dynamics.

[grandtheftputo]

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT

[factualfeminist]

This is so manipulative and disgusting.

[eviscerations]

This is really important actually

[such-a-betch]

me mentally: ok Do Not tell these people you hardly know Everything about you

me: so anyway wanna hear, in extensive detail, how fucked up i am

[iraffiruse]

[arab-babe-deactivated20161117]

Incredible

[no-o-r]

0-100 at light speed

[cumonthevoid]

he got distracted by his own insurance tragedy but quickly got himself back on the path to romance

[such-a-betch]

some kid actually said this pick up line to me 

[warpaintpeggy]

[jehancourf-deactivated20170607]

I got the most romantic text message ever today and I don’t even know who sent it

[illinoisbysufjanstevens]

remember those boys in middle school whose digital watches would always go off in class … what were the alarms for … why did they never learn how to turn off the alarms

[spork]

bullied:

my favorite part of the day is when i get to go to bed

[just-shower-thoughts]

There are only two days in your lifetime that aren’t 24 hours long

[didi-is-spiffy-deactivated20190]

…wow wtf