Suck It, Winter

[suck-it-winter]

Rainbow Day

The world around you is probably a dreary heather of white, gray, and brown. EFF THAT. Paint every nail a different color. Eat a bag of skittles. Wear your brightest clothing. Tape a Lisa Frank folder to your glasses so it fills your entire field of vision. There is no such thing as too over-the-top on Rainbow Day.

[suck-it-winter]

Feb 18th - The Spice Must Flow

Gingerbread. Madras curry. Red hots. Chai. Cinnamon-covered snickerdoodles. Any spice you like, any way you like, ideally with every meal of the day. Get your lips tingling with something other than cold, for once.

[suck-it-winter]

Feb 11th - Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders. Beasts of all natures and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles.

(I’m amazed Tumblr let me make a title that long. ANYWAY, this is one of several weekly Suck It, Winter holidays, which are designed to add small bits of joy to the endurance slog that is January - March. You can read about them here.) 

By the second week in February, it is time to GTFO of our reality. Use books, movies, television, video games, etc. to immerse yourself in other worlds today. Space exploration operas! Historical witch murder covens! Swash-buckling island adventures! Steampunk dirigible pirates! Go escapist or go home. Get some dinosaurs in there! Or some clones! Or some dinosaur clones! Dinosaur clones never have to shovel the sidewalk, dinosaur clones do whatever the fuck they want.

[suck-it-winter]

Feb 4th - Couch Fort Day

(This is one of several weekly Suck It, Winter holidays, which run from the beginning of January to the end of March. You can read about them here.)

Couch fort! COUCH FORT. Couch forrrrrrt. When you’re spending a lot of time cooped up inside, dramatically changing, even temporarily, what your space looks like is a real mood lift. Creating an uber-cozy nest of blankets and pillows and retreating into it with a book and mug of tea is a comforting middle finger to the very idea of February.

Suggestions for maximum structural integrity: 

- Central pole! Coat rack, lamp, couch turned on its end (I actually did this in college once, to create a couch/blanket fort massive enough that seven people could sleep in it), whatever you have on hand: if you can erect a central pillar, you can make a circus tent out of sheets that will be SPACIOUS AS HECK.

- Safety pin attachments! Use safety pins to anchor sheets to couches, cushions, other blankets, etc. Especially important if your household has cats who may attempt to nap on the blankets, leading to premature fort collapse.

- Lighting! A properly insulated blanket fort will be thick enough that, for maximum ~ambiance~, you may wish to move a flashlight, lantern, or other source of lighting into your fort. This is where a coat rack central pillar comes in doubly handy as a hanging post for improvised lanterns.

GO FORTH AND ARCHITECT WITH ALL GOOD CHEER.

[suck-it-winter]

Feb 4th - Couch Fort Day

(This is one of several weekly Suck It, Winter holidays, which run from the beginning of January to the end of March. You can read about them here.)

Couch fort! COUCH FORT. Couch forrrrrrt. When you’re spending a lot of time cooped up inside, dramatically changing, even temporarily, what your space looks like is a real mood lift. Creating an uber-cozy nest of blankets and pillows and retreating into it with a book and mug of tea is a comforting middle finger to the very idea of February.

Suggestions for maximum structural integrity: 

- Central pole! Coat rack, lamp, couch turned on its end (I actually did this in college once, to create a couch/blanket fort massive enough that seven people could sleep in it), whatever you have on hand: if you can erect a central pillar, you can make a circus tent out of sheets that will be SPACIOUS AS HECK.

- Safety pin attachments! Use safety pins to anchor sheets to couches, cushions, other blankets, etc. Especially important if your household has cats who may attempt to nap on the blankets, leading to premature fort collapse.

- Lighting! A properly insulated blanket fort will be thick enough that, for maximum ~ambiance~, you may wish to move a flashlight, lantern, or other source of lighting into your fort. This is where a coat rack central pillar comes in doubly handy as a hanging post for improvised lanterns.

GO FORTH AND ARCHITECT WITH ALL GOOD CHEER.

[sweetoothgirl]

Lemon meringue s’mores with shortbread cookies

[suck-it-winter]

Jan 21nd - Fairy Tale Day

I have a soft spot for fairy tales in general, and this time of year reminds me of some of my favorites, the winter stories full of snow and ice and witches. This weekend is for those bone-deep tales. There’s no such thing as a bad time to read about Baba Yaga, but there’s something especially satisfying about curling up with chilling stories, snug inside a blanket, on a cold winter’s night.

It may seem strange to delve into fairy tales while there's so much Everything Is On Fire happening in the real world, but fiction can be a real solace when you need a moment to escape, and there are a lot of  folk tales where ordinary people prevail against giants and unjust kings. I'll try to pull together a reading list on Sunday, for anyone else who could use that kind of story right now.

If you're the kind of person who enjoys doing deep dives into old stories, check out this ENORMOUS repository of folk texts from all over the world, organized by theme (thank you, D.L. Ashliman of the University of Pittsburgh). It's the TV Tropes of fairy tales, and I've happily lost hours to it.

[suck-it-winter]

Jan 14th - S'moresgasboard Day

S'mores! Last year I tried toasting marshmallows over a candle (worked much faster than I expected, high char : gooey inside ratio), in a skillet (stuck to the bottom instantly, not recommended), and in the toaster oven on a tray (even golden brown color, soft center, worked like a DREAM), all reasonable substitutes if you don’t have access to a roaring fire. Personally I like to skip the graham crackers and sandwich marshmallows directly between two pieces of chocolate like the decadent Greeks of old, but to each their own.

You can also toast marshmallows and drop them directly into hot chocolate, where they’ll half-dissolve into a layer of charred marshmallow goo. It will stick to your lips like sugary cement, but it’s worth it.

[suck-it-winter]

Jan 7th - Throw Away Your Old Shit Day

“Is this really a holiday,” you ask, “or a sneaky enforcement of your own New Year’s Resolution to stop hoarding socks with holes in them?” FAIR POINT. But it feels wonderful to get rid of old crap and stop thinking about it, especially if you’ve just acquired new crap over the holidays.

After you’ve shoved unwanted belongings into a to-be-donated bag, give yourself a treat. Eating cookies while you sit smugly on a newly cleared-off couch is strongly encouraged. If you have nothing you want to get rid of, pat yourself on the back and skip straight to the cookie stage.

Not sure where to start? @unfuckyourhabitat has helpful cleaning/sorting/organizing guides and advice, Spotify has a zillion cleaning playlists, and remember that if you get decision fatigue, you can always pause for tea and a snack until you’re ready to face your miscellaneous crap again.

[suck-it-winter]

Jan 7th - Throw Away Your Old Shit Day

“Is this really a holiday,” you ask, “or a sneaky enforcement of your own New Year’s Resolution to stop hoarding socks with holes in them?” FAIR POINT. But it feels wonderful to get rid of old crap and stop thinking about it, especially if you’ve just acquired new crap over the holidays.

After you’ve shoved unwanted belongings into a to-be-donated bag, give yourself a treat. Eating cookies while you sit smugly on a newly cleared-off couch is strongly encouraged. If you have nothing you want to get rid of, pat yourself on the back and skip straight to the cookie stage.

Not sure where to start? @unfuckyourhabitat has helpful cleaning/sorting/organizing guides and advice, Spotify has a zillion cleaning playlists, and remember that if you get decision fatigue, you can always pause for tea and a snack until you’re ready to face your miscellaneous crap again.

[suck-it-winter]

Suck It, Winter 2017 - complete holiday schedule

This is the holiday schedule for Suck It, Winter, which you can read an explanation of here.

Jan 7th - Throw Away Your Old Shit Day

“Is this really a holiday,” you ask, “or a sneaky enforcement of your own New Year’s Resolution to stop hoarding socks with holes in them?” FAIR POINT. But it feels wonderful to get rid of old crap and stop thinking about it, especially if you’ve just acquired new crap over the holidays.

After you’ve shoved unwanted belongings into a to-be-donated bag, give yourself a treat. Eating cookies while you sit smugly on a newly cleared-off couch is strongly encouraged. If you have nothing you want to get rid of, pat yourself on the back and skip straight to the cookie stage.

Jan 14th - S'moresgasboard Day

S'mores! Last year I tried toasting marshmallows over a candle (worked much faster than I expected, high char : gooey inside ratio), in a skillet (stuck to the bottom instantly, not recommended), and in the toaster oven (even golden brown, soft center, worked like a DREAM), all reasonable substitutes if you don’t have access to a roaring fire. Personally I like to skip the graham crackers and sandwich marshmallows directly between two pieces of chocolate like the decadent Greeks of old, but to each their own.

Jan 21nd - Fairy Tale Day

I have a soft spot for fairy tales in general, and this time of year reminds me of some of my favorites, the winter stories full of snow and ice and witches. Today is for those bone-deep tales. There’s no such thing as a bad time to read about Baba Yaga, but there’s something especially satisfying about curling up with chilling stories, snug inside a blanket, on a cold winter’s night.

Jan 28th - Slurp Day

Tea. Coffee. Hot chocolate. Hot toddies. Mulled wine. Warm cider steeped with cinnamon. Eggnog. Bathe your face in fragrant steam and drink warm, rich liquids until you slosh a little when you walk. Should you put whipped cream and cocoa/cinnamon on your delightful hot beverage? Should you EVER.

Feb 4th - Couch Fort Day

Couch fort! COUCH FORT. Couch forrrrrrt. When you’re spending a lot of time cooped up inside, dramatically changing, even temporarily, what your space looks like is a real mood lift. Creating an uber-cozy nest of blankets and pillows and retreating into it with a book and mug of tea is a comforting middle finger to the very idea of February.

Feb 11th - Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders. Beasts of all natures and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles.

By the second week in February, it is time to GTFO of our reality. Use books, movies, television, video games, etc. to immerse yourself in other worlds today. Space exploration operas! Historical witch murder covens! Swash-buckling island adventures! Steampunk dirigible pirates! Go escapist or go home. Get some dinosaurs in there! Or some clones! Or some dinosaur clones! Dinosaur clones never have to shovel the sidewalk, dinosaur clones do whatever the fuck they want.

Feb 15th: BONUS HOLIDAY: Half-Off Chocolates and Flowers Day

All the Valentine’s Day treats are now on sale! GO GET ‘EM (if you have discretionary funds to spare and you’re into that sort of thing).

Feb 18th - The Spice Must Flow

Gingerbread. Madras curry. Red hots. Chai. Cinnamon-covered snickerdoodles. Any spice you like, any way you like, ideally with every meal of the day. Get your lips tingling with something other than cold, for once.

Feb 25th - Sauna Day

By now, every bit of moisture in the air has been surgically removed and hidden away so it can rush out in March all at once and flood the storm drains. Plug your bathtub drain and run the shower with the door open for fifteen minutes to send steam into the hallway; let the collected water sit and evaporate for the rest of the day. Boil water on the stove. Put pans of water on your radiator. Hang wet towels from the curtain rods. Imagine that you’re a delicate fern slowly unfurling in the welcoming damp.

Mar 4th - Rainbow Day

The world around you is probably a dreary heather of white, gray, and brown. EFF THAT. Paint every nail a different color. Eat a bag of skittles. Wear your brightest clothing. Tape a Lisa Frank folder to your glasses so it fills your entire field of vision. There is no such thing as too over-the-top on Rainbow Day.

Mar 11th - Garden Day

Whatever your frozen backyard might be telling you, somewhere out there plants are growing and thriving. Seek them out in greenhouses, nurseries, florists’ shops, or your own potted plants. Find the smell of wet dirt and leaves and breathe deep. OXYGEN: IT’S GOOD FOR YOU.

If live plants are nowhere to be found, look at pictures of your favorite flowers and dream of the enviable witch-garden you will eventually plant around your hermitage, once the snows recede.

March 18th - Throwback Day

You know that one book? That one TV show? That one movie, that one game, that one song? The one that defined some crucial part of your early childhood/adolescent/adult development? The one you love with an unmoderated, unreasonable, undying joy? Yeah, that one, you know. Go back to that today. Immerse yourself in something that was foundational to your development as a person and realize all over again why you loved it. Let it coil up quietly in your chest and warm you from the inside out.

March 25th - Stew Day

Spend hours with a pot of something wonderful bubbling gently on the stove. If stew is not your thing, it can be substituted for any slow, involved recipe (cinnamon rolls? roasted squash? roasted squash WITH CINNAMON? cinnamon rolls WITH SQUASH? probably not that last one). Take advantage of the lingering chill in the air to luxuriate in the kind of cooking that fills your kitchen with warmth and wonderful smells.

March 31st - Suck It, Winter Day

YOU MADE IT. April is right around the corner, and soon Proper Spring will arrive, with crocuses and later sunsets and breezes that don’t numb your cheeks. Go through your closet and joyously select spring outfits. Delight in the no-longer-choked-with-snow sidewalks. Make a festive springtime hat out of paper and crown yourself with it.

YOU ARE A CHAMPION. IN YOUR FACE, WINTER.

*** BONUS FLOAT HOLIDAY ***

??? - Cop-Out Day

This is a special floating holiday, to be used on a day when you Just Can’t. Maybe you have the flu, maybe it’s sleeting and you can’t face another trudging hike over icy sidewalks, or maybe you’re just fed up with never being warm enough. Crawl back into bed, pull the covers over your head, and curl up like a tiny mouse. It’s okay. This is what you’re supposed to do on Cop-Out Day.

[suck-it-winter]

Suck It, Winter FAQ

What is Suck It, Winter?

Suck It, Winter is a series of holidays occurring once per week between the second week of January and the last week of March, to cover the dreariest part of winter (especially February, the official Worst Month of the Year) and give us tiny things to look forward to before all the goddamn snow melts and the sun returns to the sky.

Where did the Suck It, Winter holidays come from?

I made them up the year before last, and delightful people on Twitter suggested additions and encouraged me to keep going, so here we are. This is the third year of Suck It, Winter holidays, so now it's a Tradition™.

I'm broke, do these holidays require money?

Most of them require absolutely no money, although if you want to buy seasonal treats or additional festive supplies, you are welcome to do so.

I live in Australia/Thailand/Mars and it's super hot here and not the least bit winter-y, can I still participate?

Many of these holidays are focused less around the actual temperature and more around "ughhhhh I've been trapped inside for four days because if I go outside the weather will try to kill me and I desperately need something to do besides lie in bed all afternoon" and thus work equally well whether your climate is Satan's Armpit (Dante Alighieri Edition) or Satan's Armpit (Looney Tunes Edition). Feel free to adapt the holidays that are cold-and-dry-specific to suit your own regional needs.

Holy crap there are so many, I can't do all of these, should I just give up and hide under my bed until April?

Listen, even I can't actually keep up with all of these, which is why this year I'm setting up this blog so I can queue things in advance. You can skip weeks when you're tired, you can only do the ones you like the best, you can rearrange the order, etc. Do whatever works best to help you get through this season, for That is the True Spirit of Suck It, Winter.

Can I send you asks/hot chocolate recipes/winter survival strategies/videos of puppies playing in snow for the first time?

OMG, PLEASE DO.