Five Times + Guilty [single parent verse]
Send me āfive times + a wordā and Iāll write a drabble about our muses based on it. | always open
Five Times + Guilty | @silenceindefeat
one. the guilt always comes in like soft waves ; gradual and warm at first until it seeps so deep he canāt help but feel suffocated. like now, for example. at first he really did want the giant apple candy. and although he kept being denied again and again, his persistence wasĀ there;Ā aided with loud cries, screams, and a tantrum. yeah, he definitely got that apple candy then. all big, red, and gooey and the happiness lasted for a bit. mere three bites in with a full stomach and the delicacy utterly forgotten. later, when he seeās his father desperately talking with an old lady and giving her a white envelope, he kind of gets whatās going on. itās the same old lady that comes by every month to pick up that envelope and for a moment, suengri truly understands what the word brat & ungrateful means.
two. he knowās he did wrong the second heās aware of what he was drawing on. in the moment of all his bizzare imagination and paper scrawling, he had accidentally picked up his fathers notebook with all his neat notes, and writing, and colorful categories.Ā it was supposed to be scrap paper, but no. the date was written for today. as in, itās not scrap paper. frowning, lips slightly wobble but he holds it in because when his father comes in, he plans on telling him about his mistake, plans on telling him that it was an accidentĀ so when he seeās him, he holds up the paper, showing him. āiām soāā but the words are cut when wrists curl around his own and heās being scolded. not the patient scolding either, the frustrated and annoyed one. it doesnāt take long for suengri to start crying, and crying, and crying.Ā
three. a big fat F is written on his spelling quiz, all red and bold. suengri stares at the mark, feeling both confused and empty. he made sure to study, prepared with his classmates, and even himself yet vaguely, the F in itself wasnāt what bothered him. it was the fact that he had made his father stay up late to make sure he got everything right. and when he did, he asked for another recheck, and another. and yet he still managed to wake up early, albeit all bag eyed and slightly tired, to make breakfast for the both of them. it wasnāt cereal either. it was the one that took time. like eggs, toast, and bacon.Ā āfor your quiz, okay. good luckā. and then he gave him a hair ruffle and remembering it all, suengri really didnāt want to go home. he didnāt want to have to face him and tell him how all that preparation was for nothing.Ā
four.āhow was your quiz ? āāā¦ it went good! i passed! āāoh? then let me see it. we can stick it up on the fridge.āpause.Ā Ā ā the teacher kept it. she said sheāll hang it up the class wall with the others who did well too!ā
no further questions were asked and for a whole month, suengri asked for nothing. no candies, no help, no bed time stories. nothing.Ā
five. the second time he accidentally messes up his fathers school work is while watching a cartoon on his laptop. heās too deep into the animation when suddenly, it buffers and then immediately shuts down. he blinks, mildly scared but curious none the less. he clicks random buttons, some windows appearing and then disappearing. he tilts his head, clicks some more, and then a new file opens. one with lots and lots of words. he pauses, scrunches his nose and clicks another random button. but rather. instead of the window disappearing, all the words disappear! another pause, and then he starts crying, fingers clicking away at the letters and trying to either make the words appear again or re-write the whole thing. when his father comes in from his nap, all tousled haired and wide awake in alert, suengri cries even harder, pointing at the screen and saying muffled,Ā ām sowy, mā sowyā¦ it takes a bit longer for him to calm down and when he does, heās finally told that itās only a draft and that itās not the final one. that it was okay. everything was fine, and he didnāt do anything wrong.Ā
