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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@suicidalideationblog-blog
Two years today since we lost the beautiful Olivia.
Tuesday 3rd April 2012 was a night overcome with grief. Warren and Kellie Penpraze made the impossible decision to turn off their daughters life support after her attempted suicide the previous Thursday which resulted in their daughter being declared brain dead.
While being an inpatient at a Melbourne Psychiatric Clinic Olivia managed to hang herself while under the supervised care and watch of trained nurses and psychiatrists.
Olivia, their nineteen year old daughter had suffered from Psychotic Depression, Anxiety (generalised, social and mild separation), Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociation Identity Disorder, EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) and Body Dysmorphic Disorder for many years, which led to countless suicide attempts and many, many self-inflicted injuries.
What caused this, you ask? Years and years of bullying, little snide comments building up over the years, until the day it becomes too much, and turns a person’s own mind into their biggest enemy. Though the bullying did contribute to Olivia’s multiple diagnosis’ and low self-esteem, there are allegations of a trauma in her past that caused her to develop psychosis.
Olivia became so entrapped by her psychosis, so much so that, she became best friends with a young girl of her own imagination, who she named ‘Bree’. Bree was her companion, and suffered with Olivia. Olivia was often ‘attacked’ by the ‘evil people’, who, to us, are not real, but they were very real to Olivia. She often felt them trying to kill her, strangling her, and punching her, pinching at her skin and calling her fat, telling her to die.
Olivia heard the pleas of her friends, she heard them tell her she was beautiful and precious, but with the ‘evil people’ in tow, she could not believe them, could not fathom how she would ever be anything more than worthless. Towards the end, Olivia could not see the hundreds of messages of love, only the negative ones, real or imaginary. R.I.P beautiful, your evil people cant hurt you now
im tired
I hate myself for being hungry.