N U L L I F Y .

ind. sel. priv. dazai osamu of bungou stray dogs. written by ryu.

[bluesmemethings]

various starters

❛  you’re a weapon and weapons don’t weep.  ❜

❛  hurt me once, I’ll kill you twice.  ❜

❛  never trust a survivor until you learn what they did to stay alive.  ❜

❛  death is the only god that comes when you call.  ❜

❛  I am teeth. I am royal. you are nothing to me.  ❜

❛  the sun will rise and we will try again.  ❜

❛  we’re just kids. we aren’t supposed to be heroes.  ❜

❛  I like my women like I like my Absinthe: bitter and intoxicating.  ❜

❛  what doesn’t kill me better run.  ❜

❛  she wasn’t looking for a knight. she was looking for a sword.  ❜

❛  don’t dehumanize bad people, because it’s their humanity which makes what they’ve done so terrifying.  ❜

❛  she isn’t just pretty. she is otherworldly and vaguely threatening.  ❜

❛  magic is not good or evil. is a knife evil? only if the wielder is.  ❜

❛  I don’t want your crown. see, I’ve come to burn your kingdom down.  ❜

❛  they broke my wings. they forgot I have claws.  ❜

❛  all that blood was never beautiful, it was just red.  ❜

❛  what do you do when there’s no hero in the story? simple. you kill the monster and crown yourself.  ❜

❛  how terrible it is, to love something that death can touch.  ❜

❛  you may not be interested in war, but it is interested in you.  ❜

❛  I feel divinity in my bones like aching. like fire.  ❜

❛  you make me feel and I don’t like it. I want it to stop. now.  ❜

❛  you are losing my interest and that is very dangerous.  ❜

❛  she will burn your kingdoms down, herself with it, if it means your ruin.  ❜

❛  it’s okay to be scared. it means your about to do something brave.  ❜

❛  she looks like divine absolution.  ❜

❛  I will not be another flower, picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild, difficult to find and impossible to forget.  ❜

❛  be careful with words. they can be forgive, but never forgotten.  ❜

❛  you not wanting me was the beginning of me wanting myself.  ❜

❛  I’m tired of fighting. for once, I want to be fought for.  ❜

❛  never run back to what broke you.  ❜

❛  I was quite, but not blind.  ❜

❛  your gut knows what’s up. trust that bitch.  ❜

❛  we all eat lies when our hearts are hungry.  ❜

❛  do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on.  ❜

❛  I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, wishing it was a donut.  ❜

❛  you can miss something but not want it back.  ❜

❛  you can’t save people, you can only love them.  ❜

❛  I came, I saw, I made it awkward.  ❜

❛  we buy shite we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.  ❜

❛  you’re always one decision away from a different life.  ❜

❛  my brain has too many tabs open.  ❜

❛  I’m not saying I hate you, just that you’re like the Monday of people.  ❜

❛  there’s no ‘we’ in fries.  ❜

❛  apology accepted, trust denied.  ❜

❛  death and I have been scandalously intimate for some time now.  ❜

❛  life happens. coffee helps.  ❜

❛  I am mine before I am ever anyone else’s.  ❜

❛  I rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony.  ❜

❛  very early in my life it was already too late.  ❜

❛  is that a threat or are you flirting with me.  ❜

❛  was the use of force necessary in completing your objectives?  ❜

❛  I’ll let you drag me to hell if it means you’ll hold my hand.  ❜

❛  I do bad things, and I do them very well.  ❜

❛  you drink too much, you cuss too much and you have questionable morals. you’re everything I ever wanted.  ❜

❛  they will kill you, but first they will have to catch you.  ❜

❛  drugs might kill you but they’ll never break your heart.  ❜

❛  good girls are just bad girls that haven’t been caught.  ❜

❛  a pretty face doesn’t guarantee a pretty heart.  ❜

❛  no airbag, we die like men.  ❜

❛  true evil is, above all, seductive.  ❜

❛  it takes more courage to suffer than to die.  ❜

❛  you must be lucky to avoid the wolf every time. but the wolf? he only needs enough luck to catch you once.  ❜

❛  justice is vengeance in prettier packaging.  ❜

[suicidebled-blog]

abhorcd‌:

well

yeah !!

   ... goddammit .

[suicidebled-blog]

swornblack‌:

   a subtle scoff breathed from his lips. ❛ your whining isn’t going to change my mind, dazai. ❜ but the idea of avoiding mori, that was something enticing. ❛ sleep and death aren’t the same thing. one utilizes your brain. you know this. ❜ of course, it wasn’t the point. he knew that well. ❛ but we can figure out a way to get rid of mori~ ❜

   he huffs ,  dramatically placing a hand on his head while he listed to the other speak about the difference between sleep and death .  “ of course i know ...  i would just prefer to think of it like sleep !  since i want it to be painless ,  after all . “  eyes snap open and light up at the mention of mori’s riddance .  “ yes !!  and then you and i can be the youngest bosses in mafia history !  wouldn’t that be great ?! “

[suicidebled-blog]

“You’re always there for me.”

   “ well ,  of course !  what kind of mentor would i be if i wasn’t there for my star pupil ?! “  he brags ,  roughly putting an arm around atsushi and ruffling the top of his head .  he makes it fun and games –––  but he knows that atsushi truly and deeply means what he says .  and the truth is ,  dazai is flattered to have the compliment .  maybe he’ll buy the kid dinner  ( with kunikida’s money of course )  to show his appreciation .

@lunartxger​ / late nights .

[suicidebled-blog]

“I wish it could always be like this.”

   “ that’d be nice ,  wouldn’t it ? “  he replies with a soft tone ,  watching as oda made friends with the cat in the bar .  the three of them meeting up like this –––  it was something dazai never expected .  an executive ,  government agent ,  and a low tier mafia member ;  it sounded like the beginning of a joke .  bandaged hands push down the ball of ice in his drink ,  then takes a sip .

   “ let’s hope nothing happens . “

@killmoral / late nights .

[wickedlymeme]

“I wish it could always be like this.”

“You’re always there for me.”

“The stars are the only thing that makes sense.”

“There’s more out there, you just have to be patient.”

“It doesn’t all have to be existential dread.” 

“You’re so much different when we’re alone.”

“I like it when the worlds quiet.” 

“There’s a place for us somewhere.”

“They’ll name constellations after you one day.”

“Your hearts beating so fast.”

“They don’t know what they want.”

“You don’t know what you want.”

“That’s what they’re supposed to say.”

“We really don’t know what we’re doing.”

“I miss the old you.”

“Nostalgias a trap.”

“Aliens are out there.”

“Did you hear that?”

“I really want pizza right now, think it’s open?” 

“What time is it?”

“But why would they abduct cows?”

“We’ll all be dead soon enough anyways.” 

“I wish we didn’t have to sleep.”

“What do you believe in?”

“What happens after we die?”

“Seems like a silly thing to say, don’t you think?” 

“And what’s your excuse?”

“You’ll get it together soon.”

“Sometimes I feel like I’ll never have it together.”

“It’d be better if people weren’t so afraid of their feelings.”

“You keep quiet and we both lose.”

“I wish I could save this forever.”

“When did you realize you were in love with me?”

“The rooms spinning.”

“I loved you long before you knew.”

“I’m not afraid of death, I think it’ll be peaceful.”

“The Universe is too big for that.”

“Do you think we’ve met in other lives?” 

“I’d come back to haunt you.” 

“Would you come back to haunt me?”

“What’s alternate universe you doing right now?”

“Tell me a secret.”

“Why haven’t you told anyone?” 

“I wish we knew each other sooner.”

“You’re a game changer.” 

“I’m a game changer.”

“Don’t ignore fate.” 

“Ignorance isn’t bliss.”

“What, is that a conspiracy theory?”

“It’s probably the Illuminati anyways.” 

[suicidebled-blog]

Kanae has opted to make himself at home in Dazai's lap, completely disregarding what he had been doing beforehand. An arm is laid over his shoulders, nuzzling up to his cheek. He remained silent, laying his head on his shoulder and snuggling in closer to his body. Eyes close, and he let out a contented sigh. He's happy, needless to say.

   well ,  there goes the book he was reading .  though it didn’t matter any longer ,  he now had a cute boy in his arms and he wasn’t about to pass it up .  arms wrap themselves tightly around the ghoul ,  placing a quick kiss on the top of his head before nuzzling his head against his lover’s .  he hums happily ,  happy the the universe gave him such a cute and loving partner .

@rosebled / sweet babies .

[suicidebled-blog]

   “ man ,  am i tired ! “  he exclaims ,  making his way to the agency couch .  of course ,  he didn’t see someone was already sitting there –––  nor did he really care ,  and flopped himself on top of the couch .

   “ hm ,  when did this couch get so lumpy ? “

[suicidebled-blog]

   he cups kanae’s face in his hands ,  gently bringing his face closer to his lover’s to steal a kiss .  after one ,  he steals another ,  and another ,  until suddenly dazai is littering his partner’s face with kisses .

@rosebled / just cause .

[suicidebled-blog]

warringbeauties‌:

   “Gross, the stupid mackerel is here.”

   “ did you say something ?  i can’t hear you from all the way up here ~ “

[suicidebled-blog]

warringbeauties‌:

   “I’m back.”

   “ oh ,  how terrible . “

[suicidebled-blog]

   he stand in a powerful stance ,  hands on his hips with his chest puffed out .  he has an important message for the world .  he takes a deep breath …

   “ I WANNA FUCKIN’ DIE !!!!! “

[rosebled-blog]

ah yes . dazai crawls into the others lap , making grabby hands towards kanae . looks like someone needs attention .

   "Ah..?“  The noise is soft, coming from barely parted lips as the man made his way on top of the ghoul.  He’s confused - but only for a moment. Realization sets in of what Dazai wants - or rather, an assumption - and arms wrap themselves around his waist. It took a moment, but his face is rather quickly nuzzled against the fabric of his lover’s shirt, breathing in the familiar slightly disgusting smell of cologne. Kanae, for the first time in what felt like months, felt himself relax against him. How unsightly.

   ”…You’re cold, Osamu. Do you need a blanket?“

[suicidebled-blog]

   dazai whined dramatically ,  leaning down to rest his head on osamu’s shoulder .  the twin would always find a way to discredit his book or suicidal ideations .  he can’t remember when they started ,  but they sure weren’t going anywhere at this point .  “ why not ?!  we wouldn’t have to deal with mori anymore ~  we could just sleep forever ~  doesn’t that sound nice ?? “

@swornblack / x .

[suicidebled-blog]

dazai :  i drank some bleach down to the blue and now i’m startin’ to feel like harry potters ! sb :  no ,  no ,  no –––  you’re not supposed to drink bleach !! dazai :  well it tasted like candy to me !!

[spctlessminds]

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’ ‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’ ‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’ ‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’ ‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’ ‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’ ‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’ ‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’ ‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’ ‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’ ‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’ ‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’ ‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’ ‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’ ‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’ ‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’ ‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’ ‘  i am fucking divine.  ’ ‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’ ‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’ ‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’ ‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’ ‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’ ‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’ ‘  i bow to no man.  ’ ‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’ ‘  i cannot be saved.  ’ ‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’ ‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’ ‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’ ‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’ ‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’ ‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’ ‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’ ‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’ ‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’ ‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’ ‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’ ‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’ ‘  i have no home anymore.  ’ ‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’ ‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’ ‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’ ‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’ ‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’ ‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’ ‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’ ‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’ ‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’ ‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’ ‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’ ‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’ ‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’ ‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’ ‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’ ‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’ ‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’ ‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’ ‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’ ‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’ ‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’ ‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’ ‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’ ‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’ ‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’ ‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’ ‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’ ‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’ ‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’ ‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’ ‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’ ‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’ ‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’ ‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’ ‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’ ‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’ ‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’ ‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’ ‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’ ‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’ ‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’ ‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’ ‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’ ‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’ ‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’ ‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’ ‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’ ‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’ ‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’ ‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

[sphinxmemesmusings]

nonsexual acts of intimacy --- select from the following for my muse to respond to:

♔ : Finding your muse wearing their clothes ♕ : Holding hands ♖ : Having their hair washed by your muse ♗ : Your muse falling asleep with their head in my muse’s lap. ♘ : Cuddling in a blanket fort ♙ : Sharing a bed ♚ : Head scratches ♛ : Sharing a dessert ♜ : Shoulder rubs ♝ : Reading a book together ♞ : Caring for each other while ill (specify which party is which) ♟ : Patching up a wound ♤ : Taking a bath together ♧ : Your muse playing with their hair ♡ : Accidentally falling asleep together ♢ : Forehead or cheek kisses ♠ : Your muse adjusting their jewelry/neck tie/ etc. ♣ : Back scratches ♥ : Your muse crying about something ♦ : Slow dancing