Why? Why does everyone I've ever known, or loved, leave me? Why is it so easy for people to misunderstand me? Why is life so difficult? Nobody said that I would spend my 20s and now into my 30s explaining my train of thought to every single person because my thoughts only make sense to me. Its been hell. Life is hard. I've just been looking for anything to change the way I can see the world, or even other people, because I don't fit. Depression is a cruel mistress, mania her partner in crime. Nobody said this would be so hard. My dreams are dead. My aspirations nonexistent. Its like I am only alive to exist... like there is no reason for me to be here. But, don't take any of this the wrong way. I WILL NOT give up. I WILL NOT be beaten. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I will triumph. Right now I am just... moving on. One day, I will be *experiencing*