[blended-ice]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

your cat was an honor to see in the window

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

when fictional creatures are characterized as having superhuman agility (e.g. some versions of vampires) i think they should also canonically have flabby skin. "this species has catlike predator traits" ok now give it catlike baggy skin for flexibility. make its tummy jiggle like a slinky

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this website feels like home

[pangur-and-grim]

it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon

[pangur-and-grim]

why aren't we doing this?

[pangur-and-grim]

you 🫵 you can join the breeding project.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[pangur-and-grim]

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

[pangur-and-grim]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

tch... so it's an alliance out of necessity, huh...?

[coelii]

[deadbaguette]

Lilith you’re so cool please let me be your favorite instead

[rotflea]

I’m still alive, lol.

[valtsv]

i just know there was a weird little girl in the middle ages out there stealing snake's eggs and putting them in her family's chicken coop in the hope of hatching a basilisk

[valtsv]

god i love the internet because if i said shit like this to people irl they'd probably just stare at me blankly but when i post it online everyone in the notes reacts like this

[templetv-deactivated20260211]

hey can you come over and surgically remove this heavy, aching rot from my heart? we can watch a movie afterwards

[lactating-deactivated20220703]

“make friends” who am i doctor franking stein

[werewolf-transgenderism]

on my slides for my class about Frankenstein today

[maggotfeed]

this is what the comedy and tragedy (and mystery) reveal felt like

[ruerock]

how it feels to submit an attack on artfight

[kosmogrl]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggerated at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh good tags:

#i have the rare joy of living in an area where the college team people care most about is women #but that also makes interacting with anyone not from here on the subject feel very odd #like wdym you only watch the men’s version of the sport. wdym you treat that as the default?? we root for our girls here

[clleanlliness]

life is better when you're not malnourished btw