Skyyyyyblog.

25. Cancer. Moon lovah. Water crazed. Island girl. Taken.

[yoursummerdreamz]

[summahkayyyyy]

So true

[summahkayyyyy]

lost without a cause

I don't think anything hurts worse than losing a friend, and having no cause for it. The last few days have been so hard on me honestly... I want to text her but at the same time I just don't feel like I should. I didn't do anything wrong to cause her to shut me out like this. I am always the one to fix the friendship when she gets pissy too. I guess I will once again not have a single sole for a friend other then my friend who lives to far to reach ):

[summahkayyyyy]

Lesson learned for today

Never finish your work first they then expect you to do their fucking work. Hell the fuck no. On with other news I did slip up and cheat two days but I am more determined then ever to fit my old clothes I went through them all and remembered how cute they were! THE DETERMINATION IS REAL!

[summahkayyyyy]

Weight loss journey

Yesterday was the start of my second real weight loss journey. <3

It will be hard and long but I decided it was time to document my success and my struggles so that I can remember it down the road years to come and so maybe someone else can be inspired 😊

[summahkayyyyy]

screwed

still trying to straighten up my life. the only thing i have managed to do thus far is realize i have a big problem with drinking and binge eating. oh and making horrible job choices. i recently decided that i was going to become a patient care tech ha, and i thought being a phlebotomist was brutal. nursing school starts next month and i am still trying to figure out how to deal with the life of working to live and achieving a diploma worth while in order to have a better life. the stress is becoming overwhelming and no i talk to gets it or me. i feel written off half the time. complaining seems easier and easier everyday. i have lost the joyful girl i once was and i want her back. i am going to figure this out once and for all. 

[summahkayyyyy]

lifeoftheimpatientphlebotomist

im very talkative, and never think before i speak. i find comfort in knowing the person in front of me, and being able to confide in them. i have a hard time listening to people put me down. i tend to ramble over people when they deny doing something wrong. i hate when people don't notice the way they treat me differently because I'm awkward. i don't understand jealously, because i like being myself i guess. I'm only jealous of the old me the carefree feeling i used to have and the outright lack of reasonability. i hate the fact that everyone seems to think my mother pays for me to live when its the exact opposite. i don't understand the world and what it hold but I'm trying so far i only se hate and lack of compassion. whats wrong with the world. 

[summahkayyyyy]

slowly moving along

I started my diet on Monday, quit drinking, and decided to try to start being more athletic. I am slowly becoming a happier person again. Things are beginning to look up again... i have begun to realize that maybe i have had the wrong friends as of late. The less i hang out with them the better i feel. Maybe slowly i will be able to make new friends with lifestyles that are similar to what i can handle. Maybe just maybe then ill find myself, and stop messing up.

[summahkayyyyy]

friend-a-mes.

sometimes I wonder if I even have one true friend. people tend to misunderstand me constantly. maybe I come off the wrong way but if I do I don't realize it. should I have too change who I am in order to meet the needs of others? should I be someone im not keep all feelings inside and never speaking my mind, but even when I do speak my mind I don't feel as if anything I say is hurtful. do people just twist words in order to start a fight that was never there in the first place?

[summahkayyyyy]

thoughts on 2017 so far

Well honestly I must say that Zack surprised me with breakfast in bed for the first time on new years morning. Might I add that I work at 4am so he had to wake up extra early just to do that for me. <3 Maybe this year is going to be the best year ever, maybe, just maybe. We also have had ZERO arguments which is more than exciting. Life is look up, maybe even cloud nine type of up. I have decided that work is no longer going to affect my life, and that neither is words of others. I am striving to be better, and will be.

[summahkayyyyy]

😔

Someone please tell me it gets easier. Someone tell me it gets better. Someone please I'm pleading that this life I live can change and become what I dreamt it would be.

[summahkayyyyy]

#motivation #inspiration #dreamer

[summahkayyyyy]

Who I am

Who I am at this moment is not who I want to be. A drinker, and over weight is just not me. I want to be that person out doing yoga, barre, or working out. I want to be that meal prepping crazy healthy person. I will strive to be this person in 2017 I will be better. I will succeed.

[yoursummerdreamz]

[summahkayyyyy]

2017

2017 is a year of change. I will strive to be the person I want to be I will be motivated and accomplish my dreams. This my year to shine and no one will take this away from me. No one! To all the dreamers out there keep dreaming!

[summahkayyyyy]

💕

[summahkayyyyy]

where have I been

Jeez has the time flown by I recently bought a new house; on a cute little pond, and I now feel like one of those adulting people. I believe feel lost around 24 is a natural thing though. I feel like life is in slow mo, and I can not seem to speed it up to get to my goals. Honestly all I want to do is get to my goals. Finishing college would be great right about now. I don't think my mother was joking whenever she said bills are expensive. I hope one day whenever I do decide to have children they realize the trials they are going to go through faster than I did. I say all this, but honestly most people have not made it as far as I have at my age. I will say I am more than glad to have this next month off of school. It is so needed. <3

[summahkayyyyy]

hunches.

you know when you get a feeling about something, and later it is confirmed. lately thats all thats been happening to me. first off i hate it when i think i have plans and then get blown off. yes, i will get mad and even madder when i know your gonna blow me off. thats not the only horrible thing that was on my agenda tonight i found out that my someone thought i was telling on them constantly and that they just figured out it wasn't me. my life.