So my wife makes some shitty puns

[modmad]

What are the list of goose qualities that Gladstone has, other than the hissing?

personal takes (limited to what I can remember rn bc im sleeby)

pointy teeth

slightly taller than your average duck

mates for life >:3c

migratory (aka likes to travel)

ferociously loyal towards family

geese make constant improvements to their nests- I imagine alongside loving his ever increasing number of houseplants that Gladstone's house has a luxury cluttercore aesthetic (which ties into him constantly winning new things)

loves swimming

[summerwhyy]

*snaps own neck*

Let’s do this

[summerwhyy]

Husband Being A Cute

Husband: We're going to grow old together

Me: awwww

Husband: and that's for Dent-ure

Me: that was really sweet at first

Me: then it was perfect

[summerwhyy]

Husband Reading This Blog's Posts

Husband: These are great

Me: :I

[summerwhyy]

Husband Being A Cutie

Husband: aa no you're the hottie, Mrs. Hottie

Me: But you must be Mr. Hottie, then.

Husband: I took your name, remember?

Husband: BRRRRAPBRRRRAP *finger guns everywhere* YEAH

[summerwhyy]

Husband has profound thoughts

Husband: You know, sometimes I think my roommate is Jesus.

Me: What, why?

Husband: It just seems like sometimes he dies and then comes back three days later.

Me: I love you.

[summerwhyy]

Husband and I watching Youtube videos

Husband: You know this youtuber should really consider marrying his videos soon

Me: marry his... videos?

Husband: I mean, he's been dating them for a really long time now. B]

Me: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[summerwhyy]

Husband helping me spell 'cause I'm an English major

Husband: I-E-N-D like fried. You can't... because you can't fry your friends

Husband: help me I have really weird ways of remembering how to spell things

[summerwhyy]

Husband talking to a friend

Friend: you could invest it in the stock market, and in a few years you could... buy a sandwich

Husband: you're an entrepreneur

Husband: you're an ENTREE-preneur

Husband: I'm really proud of that one

[summerwhyy]

Husband and I alone in room

Husband: Hey guys I made Nier's new tag-line! "Let's kill things and cry tears"!

[summerwhyy]

Picking me up after work

Husband: can I tell you about this skit I made up on the way over?

Me: sure

Husband: *puts glasses on top of head like sunglasses*

Husband: *intense boston/sleazy film producer accent* Hey doll, what's your name?

Me:...

Me: *gives my name*

Husband: That's a nice name, but you look like a Cutie to me, can I call you Cutie?

Me: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[summerwhyy]

After having sat in a chair weirdly for a while

Me: aah, I can't feel my ass.

Husband: I can feel it for you.

Husband: I'm really proud of that one.

Husband: I ask that that go on the blog.

[summerwhyy]

Husband visiting me at work

Coworker: The binder could be green

Me: ooh and that's a lovely green!

Husband: I aGREEN

Me:..........

Coworker:................

[tastefullyoffensive]

[via]

[summerwhyy]

While reading a tumblr post

Me: so this cat stepped in a brownie pan and look at how perfectly those toe beans are preserved!

Husband: wow yeah that's impressive, it's like a fossil

Me: they should make a cast of that and use it for-

Husband: a CAT-st

Me:...

Husband:.......

Husband: A PAWSSIL HOLY SHIT