(Β Β *Β Β & .Β Β βΒ Β MOREΒ POPULARΒ TEXTΒ POSTΒ STARTERS .
βΒ forgiveΒ andΒ forget ??Β Β hahahaΒ no .Β Β resentΒ andΒ remember .Β β
βΒ whenΒ iΒ getΒ murderedΒ iΒ wantΒ itΒ toΒ beΒ soΒ perfectΒ andΒ mysteriousΒ thatΒ iΒ getΒ featuredΒ onΒ buzzfeedΒ unsolvedΒ trueΒ crimeΒ withΒ oneΒ theoryΒ andΒ itβsΒ aboutΒ aliens .Β β
βΒ inΒ theΒ middleΒ ofΒ sexΒ heΒ stoppedΒ toΒ tellΒ meΒ heΒ lovedΒ meΒ thenΒ heΒ slappedΒ myΒ assΒ andΒ saidΒ β back to business . βΒ Β iβmΒ goingΒ toΒ marryΒ him .Β β
βΒ doΒ youΒ everΒ justΒ craveΒ domesticity ?Β Β toΒ comingΒ homeΒ toΒ aΒ partner ,Β Β meldΒ intoΒ themΒ likeΒ youΒ doΒ yourΒ bedΒ afterΒ aΒ longΒ day ,Β Β soakΒ yourΒ mindΒ inΒ theΒ serenityΒ ofΒ theirsΒ likeΒ aΒ warmΒ bathΒ toΒ sootheΒ theΒ knotsΒ onΒ yourΒ body ,Β Β wrapΒ yourselfΒ inΒ theirΒ warmthΒ andΒ justΒ fuckingΒ sighΒ fromΒ pureΒ comfort .Β β
βΒ * whispersΒ seductively *Β Β iΒ donβtΒ care .Β β
βΒ ifΒ anyoneΒ wantsΒ meΒ iβllΒ beΒ inΒ theΒ dirtΒ thinkingΒ aboutΒ love .Β β
βΒ girlsΒ getΒ madeΒ funΒ ofΒ forΒ everythingΒ mightΒ asΒ wellΒ doΒ whatΒ youΒ want .Β β
βΒ iΒ meanΒ iβmΒ cuteΒ butΒ alsoΒ reallyΒ fuckingΒ creepy .Β β
βΒ concept :Β Β someoneΒ hugsΒ youΒ tightΒ andΒ tellsΒ youΒ theyΒ loveΒ you .Β Β youΒ feelΒ it .Β β
βΒ itβsΒ hardΒ whenΒ youΒ constantlyΒ feelΒ soΒ fuckingΒ unwanted .Β β
βΒ proΒ tip :Β Β insteadΒ ofΒ havingΒ feelings ,Β Β tryΒ beingΒ deadΒ inside .Β Β everythingΒ isΒ stillΒ horribleΒ butΒ youΒ willΒ notΒ careΒ atΒ all .Β β
βΒ iΒ justΒ needΒ aΒ hug(eΒ aboutΒ ofΒ money) .Β β
βΒ iβmΒ aΒ powerΒ coupleΒ withΒ myself .Β Β iΒ loveΒ us .Β Β weΒ workΒ hard .Β β
βΒ myΒ femaleΒ roleΒ model ?Β Β theΒ t-rexΒ fromΒ jurassicΒ park .Β Β sheΒ justΒ screamsΒ andΒ eats .Β Β thatβsΒ aΒ moodΒ baby .Β β
βΒ iβmΒ atΒ theΒ β weβllΒ see βΒ stageΒ inΒ myΒ life .Β Β withΒ everythingΒ andΒ everyone .Β Β weΒ willΒ see .Β β
βΒ canΒ youΒ believeΒ someΒ peopleΒ canΒ seeΒ aΒ catΒ andΒ notΒ immediatelyΒ beΒ filledΒ withΒ absoluteΒ unconditionalΒ loveΒ forΒ thatΒ animal ??Β Β theyΒ donβtΒ evenΒ getΒ theΒ urgeΒ toΒ kissΒ themΒ rightΒ onΒ theirΒ littleΒ babyΒ catΒ head .Β Β thatβsΒ inΒ comprehensibleΒ toΒ me .Β β
βΒ doΒ youΒ everΒ justΒ feelΒ superΒ unlovable .Β β
βΒ hey ,Β Β quickΒ question ,Β Β whatΒ theΒ fuckΒ isΒ goingΒ on ?Β β
βΒ iβmΒ aΒ personΒ whoΒ wantsΒ toΒ doΒ lotsΒ ofΒ thingsΒ trappedΒ insideΒ aΒ bodyΒ thatΒ wantsΒ toΒ SLEEPΒ atΒ allΒ times .Β β
βΒ iβmΒ soΒ datableΒ Β .Β Β .Β Β .Β Β andΒ yetΒ hereΒ iΒ amΒ Β .Β Β .Β Β .Β Β .Β Β notΒ beingΒ askedΒ onΒ datesΒ Β .Β Β .Β Β .Β .Β Β tragicΒ Β .Β Β .Β Β .Β Β .Β β
βΒ youΒ everΒ fallΒ inΒ loveΒ withΒ somebodyΒ likeΒ fiveΒ times ?Β Β likeΒ damn ,Β Β iΒ thoughtΒ iΒ lovedΒ youΒ beforeΒ butΒ wtfΒ isΒ thisΒ nextΒ levelΒ shit .Β β
βΒ iΒ learnedΒ thatΒ peopleΒ leaveΒ evenΒ ifΒ theyΒ promisedΒ aΒ thousandΒ timesΒ theyΒ wouldnβt .Β β
βΒ getΒ aΒ manΒ thatΒ STAYSΒ geekedΒ overΒ you ,Β Β notΒ justΒ inΒ theΒ beginning .Β β
βΒ iβmΒ followingΒ myΒ heartΒ butΒ itΒ doesnβtΒ seemΒ likeΒ sheΒ knowsΒ theΒ directionsΒ eitherΒ .Β β
βΒ mace .Β bugΒ sprayΒ Β .Β Β .Β Β .Β Β butΒ forΒ men .Β β
βΒ myΒ favoriteΒ winterΒ activityΒ isΒ stayingΒ insideΒ inΒ myΒ pajamasΒ andΒ beingΒ antisocial .Β β
βΒ tbhΒ iΒ canβtΒ imagineΒ changingΒ myΒ vocabularyΒ whenΒ iΒ getΒ olderΒ andΒ itβsΒ soΒ surrealΒ likeΒ iβllΒ meetΒ myΒ buddiesΒ atΒ theΒ shuffleboardΒ placeΒ andΒ iβllΒ beΒ likeΒ β supΒ youΒ fuckingΒ nerdsΒ youβreΒ gonnaΒ getΒ wrecked . β Β β
βΒ adulthoodΒ isΒ justΒ understandingΒ whyΒ shrekΒ justΒ wantedΒ toΒ beΒ leftΒ alone .Β β
βΒ hmmΒ Β .Β Β .Β Β .Β Β anyoneΒ elseΒ feelΒ halloweenΒ coming ?Β Β becauseΒ sheβsΒ onΒ herΒ way .Β β
βΒ concept :Β Β lookingΒ atΒ theΒ starsΒ whileΒ yourΒ significantΒ otherΒ isΒ kissingΒ yourΒ neck .Β β
βΒ iΒ hateΒ itΒ whenΒ peopleΒ askΒ β whatβsΒ theΒ stupidestΒ thingΒ youβveΒ everΒ done ? βΒ Β likeΒ awfullyΒ boldΒ ofΒ youΒ toΒ assumeΒ iβveΒ reachedΒ peakΒ dumbass .Β β
βΒ forΒ theΒ lastΒ time ,Β Β weΒ areΒ notΒ sendingΒ youΒ toΒ spaceΒ justΒ soΒ youΒ can ,Β Β andΒ i quote ,Β Β β chaseΒ thatΒ sweet ,Β Β sweetΒ alienΒ ass . βΒ β
βΒ iΒ haveΒ thisΒ weirdΒ self - esteemΒ issueΒ whereΒ iΒ hateΒ myselfΒ butΒ iΒ stillΒ thinkΒ thatΒ iβmΒ betterΒ thanΒ everyoneΒ else .Β β
βΒ iβmΒ literallyΒ impossibleΒ toΒ killΒ Β ( professionallyΒ diagnosed ) .Β β
βΒ howΒ isΒ β pretty boy βΒ supposedΒ toΒ beΒ anΒ insult ??Β iβmΒ theΒ prettiestΒ goddamnΒ boyΒ inΒ down .Β β
βΒ ifΒ youΒ donβtΒ listenΒ toΒ abbaΒ Β .Β Β .Β Β .Β Β getΒ wellΒ soonΒ iΒ guess .Β β
βΒ whenΒ youΒ haveΒ aΒ badΒ childhoodΒ godΒ makesΒ youΒ hotΒ inΒ yourΒ twenties .Β β
βΒ thereΒ areΒ onlyΒ fiveΒ genders :Β Β scary ,Β Β sporty ,Β Β posh ,Β Β ginger ,Β Β andΒ baby .Β β
β Β β areΒ youΒ readyΒ toΒ stopΒ actingΒ likeΒ aΒ bratΒ now ? βΒ Β firstΒ ofΒ all ,Β Β thisΒ isΒ noΒ act .Β β
βΒ youΒ wantΒ aΒ manΒ withΒ aΒ strongΒ jawlineΒ soΒ youΒ haveΒ aΒ sturdyΒ placeΒ toΒ sit .Β β
βΒ iβmΒ suchΒ aΒ tease .Β Β iβllΒ tellΒ youΒ howΒ badΒ iΒ wantΒ toΒ fuckΒ youΒ andΒ thenΒ probablyΒ fallΒ asleep .Β β
βΒ iΒ needΒ toΒ beΒ fuckinΒ kissed .Β getΒ onΒ topΒ ofΒ meΒ andΒ kissΒ theΒ fuckΒ outtaΒ me .Β Β iΒ justΒ needΒ toΒ beΒ fuckinΒ kissed ,Β Β man .Β Β β
βΒ whyΒ talkΒ aboutΒ yourΒ feelingsΒ whenΒ youΒ couldΒ repressΒ themΒ untilΒ theyΒ evolveΒ intoΒ self - hatred .Β β
βΒ doΒ youΒ everΒ justΒ realizeΒ thatΒ youβreΒ notΒ aΒ goodΒ person .Β β
βΒ amΒ iΒ straight ?Β Β ohΒ fuckΒ no ,Β Β godΒ forbid .Β β
βΒ iΒ needΒ someΒ physicalΒ affectionΒ andΒ threeΒ bottlesΒ ofΒ vodka .Β β
βΒ ifΒ youΒ callΒ meΒ babyΒ inΒ thatΒ softΒ voiceΒ iβllΒ doΒ whateverΒ youΒ wantΒ meΒ toΒ do .Β β
βΒ fromΒ theΒ bottomΒ ofΒ myΒ heart ,Β Β pleaseΒ know ,Β Β thatΒ iβdΒ appreciateΒ beingΒ slammedΒ againstΒ aΒ wallΒ withΒ yourΒ handΒ downΒ myΒ pantsΒ andΒ yourΒ breathΒ againstΒ myΒ neckΒ sayingΒ thatΒ iβmΒ yoursΒ andΒ onlyΒ yours .Β β
βΒ whatΒ turnsΒ meΒ on ?Β Β attention .Β β
βΒ likeΒ youΒ canΒ bossΒ meΒ aroundΒ inΒ sexualΒ situationsΒ butΒ youΒ betterΒ notΒ tryΒ toΒ tellΒ meΒ whatΒ toΒ doΒ inΒ regularΒ life .Β β
βΒ me ?Β Β constantlyΒ afraidΒ ofΒ beingΒ abandonedΒ andΒ replaced ?Β Β hellΒ yes .Β β
βΒ wearΒ yourΒ scarsΒ proudly .Β Β whateverΒ triedΒ toΒ killΒ youΒ failed .Β β
βΒ donβtΒ forgetΒ toΒ smileΒ whileΒ intimidatingΒ someone .Β β
βΒ lifeβsΒ tooΒ shortΒ toΒ pretendΒ youβreΒ notΒ intoΒ someΒ kinkyΒ shit .Β β
βΒ amΒ iΒ aΒ goodΒ person ?Β Β no .Β Β butΒ doΒ iΒ tryΒ toΒ beΒ betterΒ everyΒ singleΒ day ?Β Β alsoΒ no .Β β
βΒ yesΒ iΒ hateΒ men .Β Β yesΒ iΒ amΒ attractedΒ toΒ men .Β Β weΒ exist .Β β
βΒ yesΒ youβreΒ allowedΒ toΒ haveΒ otherΒ friends ,Β Β youΒ justΒ haveΒ toΒ loveΒ meΒ more .Β β
βΒ iΒ ainβtΒ noΒ weakΒ bitchΒ butΒ iΒ didnβtΒ deserveΒ toΒ Β goΒ throughΒ halfΒ ofΒ theΒ thingsΒ iβveΒ experienced .Β β
βΒ foodΒ willΒ neverΒ breakΒ myΒ heart .Β β
βΒ iΒ loveΒ makingΒ peopleΒ whoΒ alreadyΒ hateΒ meΒ hateΒ meΒ more .Β β
βΒ squadΒ isΒ over .Β Β weβreΒ cultsΒ now .Β β
βΒ caterpillarsΒ haveΒ moreΒ musclesΒ thanΒ humansΒ butΒ iβdΒ likeΒ toΒ seeΒ oneΒ tryΒ toΒ fightΒ meΒ irlΒ andΒ seeΒ whatΒ happens .Β β
βΒ look ,Β Β pal ,Β Β iΒ justΒ wannaΒ holdΒ yourΒ handΒ andΒ makeΒ out .Β β
βΒ thankΒ youΒ forΒ showingΒ meΒ whatΒ loveΒ shouldΒ lookΒ like .Β β
βΒ unlessΒ youΒ hitΒ meΒ inΒ theΒ faceΒ withΒ aΒ brickΒ thatΒ saysΒ β iβmΒ flirtingΒ withΒ you βΒ iβmΒ mostΒ likelyΒ justΒ gonnaΒ thinkΒ youβreΒ beingΒ nice .Β β
βΒ sorryΒ iΒ didnβtΒ reply ,Β Β iΒ wasΒ havingΒ twenty - sevenΒ panicΒ attacksΒ aboutΒ myΒ future .Β β