Misery & Loveliness

|| Low Life || Aries || Meth Addict || No judgement here. Nothing but love & shit that I enjoy. (I do not promote the use of illicit drugs)

[ayoson-blog]

Inbox me (1) thing you want to know about me.

[softcoreish-deactivated20240717]

I’m hella bored

[halbeteile-deactivated20190517]

Do it

[nicolethedopefiendqueen]

Wishing you lasting sobritey and recovery for 2019.

[chillin-likeavillainnn]

[danielmethstore]

time to turn up with good quality meth.

[jaysonstones]

Every day bills💸💯

[sunbxbyy-blog]

reblogging for good luck lmao

[sunbxbyy-blog]

Sunday 4:10am

I came into town today and got stoned with Haley. Haley is my best friend, I met her in 5 county and was locked up w her for a year or so.. she fucked up on dark so bad it tore her apart, and for the first time she called me today and said to me, 

“Morgan I just want to smoke some bud and nap somewhere pretty, in the sunshine...” 

So I came to her and though we didnt lay in the sunshine, we got baked and hung out w Jeffery (an older fella who we know, he used to have a room at the outlaw and trap shit up but now he lives behind the mall in his truck) and Matthew, who just got fucked up by this dumb bitch. Anyway, we were pretty stoned and got to spread our little bit of love w our hopeless friends. It was nice. After that we decided to get some shxt and get high, the same old same old. I smoked a fat bowl, she did a shot, her man fucked off and weighed bags. Now, Im flailing at Matthews house, were writing eachother letters bc fuck it why not? 

[pinkeblumen]

{❀} / Maria Grazia Marrulli

[tattoosfati]

[nicolethedopefiendqueen]

Wishing you lasting sobritey and recovery for 2019.

[psychedelic-druggs]

[traurigtoby]

[pra-onde-a-rua-me-levar]

[bitterfvckk]

[sunbxbyy-blog]

screaming someone help pls I was going to make it so nice but I just think I try way too hard to accomplish hopeless things and end up making myself look so fucking foolish every single time- I just want to hang out with you right now, but its "sleeping hours" for normal mfs and I'm here just losing it bc I have no one to talk to and nothing to focus on but my own toxic thoughts and I'm really sad really fucking sad.. and I don't mean to be needy I just have been so scared of all the problems were having with getting along and I don't want to lose you but the more I try to take the lead and fix it the more I make myself look so pathetic dude, and just stupid as fuck. I really hate that I do this to myself but I can't help feeling this way, I'm not being the woman I want to be for you. I'm turning into the most frustrating thing to walk back into your life and I can't figure out why I'm so god awfully fucked up in my head but every day I loathe my very existence more and more because I do nothing but make things worse and worse and worse and I'm tired of being that person. I hate it. Depression is fucking swallowing me baby and I'm sorry that I cant be more uplifting and happy, I'm just so TIRED of being such a positive person. I'm sick and tired of the misery that I feel all the time - not because of you directly but because no matter how hard I try to be perfect for you like I want to be, I always find myself wondering "why do I have to be such a fool"

I want to get a job and save up and move away to hotsprings at the very least so I can just be removed from this negativity that hangs over me constantly when I'm here... I want to move somewhere brand new like Colorado or California but I know thats not what you want and I wish you'd give it a chance but I don't wanna push you so hotsprings is fine for me but I don't want to be here any longer, I want to move somewhere and start new with you so badly but I want you to be down as fuck and I have no control over that whatsoever... Ive made myself yet again look mentally ill & crazy just by typing this and I don't want to send it but FUCK these are raw feelings that I needyoutopayattentiontobecauseifeellikeimslippingwaytoclosetotheedgeoftheroad and I just need to express these feelings all these feelings because I have so many things rotting my brain & I just can't keep inside anymore its killing me. I'm so sorry, I want to make some stupid impulsive decision like leaving on foot because in my fucked up, panic stricken mind I think that it would be better for me to just walk down the highway in the freezing cold than to just shut the fuck up and do what normal humans do ; go the fuck to bed. Drink water. Eat food. I hate that I'm like this, I wish Id grow up or die or get to whatever point that it takes for me to just BE OKAY IN MY OWN SKIN. to just be comfortable with being by myself in any way. I just make it worse and worse the more I talk but im so fucked off right now and fuck johnny I just want you to be awake w me and be wrapped around me and talking to me to distract my broken mind . I fucking love you I'm disgusted w this entire message, I feel like I just have so much going on in my head and in my spiritual that I'm having a difficult time with holding myself together. I just need someone to give a fuck about the things that I'm saying its not jibberish its real raw feelings and theyre fragile as fuck, I know you are attracted to confidence and strength but at this point in my life I cant be those things and I want you to still love me even though I'm not strong and confident but I realize that its ugly and annoying and I really hate that I am incapable of being the woman you dream of, the woman you want and need. I hate it, thats why I hate myself so much because goddamn.. I just can't chill the fuck out.

[sunbxbyy-blog]

never enough

[sunbxbyy-blog]

Yeah ok drugs are all fun and games until someone you love ODs in your bathroom.

[mamiboss]

M A M I B O $ $ 💦