Oskari @sunconscious - Tumblr Blog

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Sources, left to right:

1st: Edna Lewis photographed by John T. Hill in 1975.

2nd: National Geographic, Tropical fisherman walks a moonlit path, August, 1962.

3rd: Leon Berkowitz (American, 1911-1987) Golda 1979 oil on canvas.

4th: Eric Wert (American, b. 1976) The Hunt, 2014.

5th: Unknown.

6th: Austin Butler wearing Moschino sunglasses, photographed by Collier Schorr, for VMAN magazine (fall/winter 2022)

7th: Helen Sear - Beyond the View (Spindle Berry) (2010).

8th: Hawthorn on Easel (Tree Drawing), 2005 by Tim Knowles.

9th: The Interior of the Palm House on the Pfaueninsel Near Potsdam. Carl Blechen, 1834 Oil on Canvas.

10th: An illustration from a 1908 issue of Century Illustrated magazine.

bloodservility

— C. G. Jung, Man and His Symbols; “The Oracle dream”

sunconscious

How I felt everytime I was able to cry recently: I needed everything to be hopeless to stop holding on. Which I feel is the key. Because losing all hope in the same vein, is freedom, yes I’m aware of what I’m quoting. I suppose it’s just the process of letting go of definitions that no longer work, because the whole world occurs in internally.

#C.G Jung #Psychology

04k96

sunconscious

As a creative, you need to create. It’s the added need you are born with when you are the kind that possesses a soul that needs to radiate of itself.

#quotes

makingimages

sunconscious

Love lowkey missing a man that made me feel unsafe, I’ll cut off my arm before I ever… yada yada yada.

#skin #tattoos

I recently read into the unspeakably cruel experiments conducted at Unit-731, as a way to try to understand or make sense of it. And the conclusion I’ve been able to draw once again, is that malevolence is very casual when it happens in the confines of a system, or for a cause. That evil is not some terrifying unexplainable force, it’s casual day-to-day weaponized indifference nestled upon foundational cowardice, through industrialized and highly normalized desensitization. Which can easily be taken to its extreme when you add the mind viruses/thought forms of religion, politics, hierarchy/authority and reward/punishment among others. You are then easily able to change the definition of your own actions by engineering and adhering to an entire machine complete with norms, ideals, dresscode, semantics, hobbies. Because the machine that rewards detachment from one’s own humanity, resulting in a total lack of humanity, i.e capitalism: is naturally going to want to defend itself, as the mind virus it is. And if you happen to be an emotionally repressed and highly insecure heterosexual individual, you’re likely going to seek the spineless support of the aforementioned machine that you worship with your soft human body and childlike feelings.

Just like all of us, only with the crucial distinction of self abandonment and betrayal of one’s own biology and by extension: betrayal of nature itself, as separate—in favor of the translucent concept of power. I.e a separation from one’s own nature in favor for artificial systems of enslavement. And a foundational betrayal like that will never result in anything conducive to longterm health or happiness. That’s why fascists “act out.” Because the lifestyle and mentality that they are subscribing to, was never going to support neither their own nor anyone else’s biology or psychology. In other words lack of character, lack of bravery and lack of strength is always going to manifest as the easiest attainable substitute for itself: power over others as a result of a lack of internal power. Because it’s always going to be easier to choose negativity and to choose ego, then it is to actually have to confront one own complexes and resentments and to actually sit with the feelings and to wish growth upon oneself and others. no matter how hard it might be.

— Oskari.

"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you." — African Proverb.

#evil #narcissism #trump #nazis #fascism #complacency #western society #politics #my writings #my essays

The reason why atrocities like the holocaust, or unspeakable acts of cruelty like Unit 731 were allowed to occur, is because most people are truly and fundamentally spineless, weak and completely lacking in character. They drift through life behaving in whatever way they percieve that they need to, in order to truly justify whatever their sense of belonging or survival entails rather than having real character. Because being authentic is to risk being alone and exclusion from the tribe might not mean death nowadays, and might have or might not have meant death at the time, but it has always meant exclusion. So, if you want another way to prove that our collective societal norms aren’t actually supportive of, nor conducive to the health, empowerment, character and agency of the individual, ultimately. This is one of those ways.

Which is why I’ve always believed in the notion of a society consisting of strong individuals with an understanding of, and active cultivation of our biological need for community. This is one of the reasons why it’s so effective to keep masses of people divided and ignorant as it relates to the development of healthy norms and individual agency but more importantly empathy. But in order to function well in a community, a significant measure of personal authenticity has to be compromised. Which I suppose is the primary crossroads of this belief I hold, for those that were given the ability to choose between authenticity and accomodation, and not just suffer the consequences of their genetic lottery, such as neurodivergence or being a minority.

Now what I do know is that when I bring up the notion of how based on my life story thus far, I should be in jail, on drugs or not alive at all, but that I’m not and I still don’t manipulate people or take my issues out on them. People often respond with an idea around it being an unfair example. And the reason they do that is because it takes tremendous strength to have integrity and thus to be kind, especially when statistics or enviournment would argue otherwise. Most of all however, it takes strength to question your whole reality all your life. Because if you’ve never automatically fit in? You become an observer, and observer’s are very difficult to manipulate. As oppose to those that do not have the strength nor insight or luxury to be authentic or to have integrity.

#integrity #WWII #unit 731 #Nazis #Japan #psychology #authenticity #micro essay

04k96

sunconscious

ND and CPTSD and greiving someone that hasn’t died yet but is actually dying, in a body that don’t play along due to burnout: yes bitch, let me rest. Let me snooze. Let me drink non-alcoholic in my bathrobe with my feet in the windowsill and a big bowl of a creamy pasta.

04k96

#horses #gifs

sadochild-deactivated20170616

sunconscious

Feelings at the end of life like temples of your lost loves, I will lock them down for you, eternal. You are tethered to your limitations, flesh, eater, cancerous.

I want to remember how you made me feel loved without ever needing to say it, except in that moment when I was a kid sitting on your shoulders and they asked you if I was yours, you said yes, even though I never was. Who taught you to love quietly / Past tense, I can’t let you go yet.

You’re fading now in that bed, I can’t string together pain which is really love / trying to find words, through gritted teeth / without wanting to make a necklace when the pressure shatters them, and I could finally speak like you, but pain doesn’t have a limitation. Only the body. I can’t rip anything apart without splitting against my flesh, hands stay calm.

That’s you, this is you, a heart with love to give, against entire kingdoms of blindness / no these are temples. As if trying to reach you through this fog, this nothing. You found my hands, you never really needed to speak for me to understand the waves of your beckoning love, rocking me back and forth out of pain and into presence, out of trauma and into love. I swoon / Let go now.

Some don’t need sound to be seen, some communicate through presence, I could always feel that from you.

You are innocent when you fall to your knees.

And so am I when I push against my bathroom wall with teeth clenched / Where do you start when you want to string a necklace of bones.

All this anger was once love, I read that once and it always stuck with me.

Have you ever seen the real beauty of human beings?

It’s when they unite around each other,

Did you know that sea otters hold hands while they sleep so they don’t drift apart / Don’t let go.

How deep will we dive together? Wasn’t this everything we wanted, we play together like beings suspended in enormousness.

We move towards what holds us, we move towards oceans of love, careful not to drown, your salt. And maybe in the end, this is all a lesson of how to hold the self, how to float, how to come back up for air, how to come back up for air.

In order to be that free, I had to stop kicking, in order to float, I had to let go. But I never could so I crashed against everything, did you do that too? Catharsis.

And in a place beyond this one, where all your pain is defeaned, you and me both, in the sunshine. That’s what you wanted. I’m not ready, but there is a glimmer on these waves, just like with a soul like yours. We try to hold this world but I don’t think we have to.

But my hands don’t know how to open now. So I know how to love, and I will love you forever, and I will love you forever.

— Mattis Sellstedt (Oskari).

#My poetry #My writings #Oskari #Poetry