the restless rendered docile

jul / 23 / tme pfp / banner

[plumslices]

literally do it even if youre stupid <3

[cloudmancy]

More 'please draw my bike as a horse' commissions from yesterday! Although a lot of bikes look similar in colours, it's always nice when people tell me about how they see their bike so I can pick out a breed and personality.

Horse breeds & backstories for these under the cut:

The first commissioner said they imagined their bike as stocky draft horse because the bike is built solid and super heavy and durable. I picked a Clydesdale:

Here's a Clydesdale draft horse! I went with a brown horse and brown bags with black tack, to match the style of the really strong and durable horses that pull carts. This one's in a more ceremonial get-up, similar to the drafts that pull parade floats and such. I hope you like him!

The second bike's owner said that the brake cables had been modified: "the bike brakes like sh*t and I always crash into others when they brake in front of me. It's a bit dangerous bike, but still love it". I went with a Thoroughbred.

Racehorse!! I think a bike with brake issues is very Thoroughbred coded. I gave them a bit of a mischievous expression and the hot pink accents on the bike for the saddle and leg wraps. I hope you enjoy!

They even drew my design afterward, which I think is so cute...

The last one is a tribute to a bike that the owner no longer owns since they got a car. I wanted something springy and elegant:

The Kent Northwoods Springdale feels like a very classic, elegant sort of bike, so I went with an American Saddlebred. These horses have a really distinct, really high head + neck carriage. They've got five different paces, including a special type of pace called the 'rack', and they're shown both saddle-seat and in halters around the ring! It felt like the right vibe. This one has a simple halter and a show cinch on. I hope you're happy with it!

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[fuckedelf]

Can I eat yummy candy on SSRI?

[were--ralph]

im not a furry but recently ive been thinking about what if there was a global outbreak of a virus that transforms you into your fursona? so i made one just in case. not because im a furry (im not) but just ouf of safety if i need one in a pinch. he's very cute and fluffy btw

No yeah that makes sense like you always have to be prepared

[real-language-facts]

masquerade (noun) - a lemonade made out of masks

[izzypaw]

reminder !!!

[6mayhem]

mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

[quinnactually]

that's MS. substance abuser to you

[6mayhem]

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head

[transmechanicus]

If you’re not into butches when they’re fat you should have to walk around with a sign that announces to the world that you’re a tasteless idiot who probably also hates beautiful sunsets and autumn leaves.

[threedollarsdotcom]

letd go eat parts of that guys car

[playwrongs]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[crabussy]

currently liking the character so much that all I can do is pace around my darkened house saying "they make me die"

[djbodyhorror]

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

[valtsv]

that feeling when you're going through a security checkpoint and you remember that you forgot to leave the potentially limitless capacity for harm inside you at home 😂😂

[mogblin]

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

[lutraviolet]

gay kittays

(commission for skittybitty)

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household