Rising music artist M4RS (real name Martin Edwards) has two avid Twitter stan accounts dedicated to him: you and this one other guy called Woojoo.
martin x gn!reader. fluff. crack. smau.
notes: sorry i physically cant make anything that isnt a little silly. martin would run his own fan account i said what i said. shout out to smau makers i spent so Long on this. if you liked this say hi pls its lonely here. a little conflicted by this one tbh but sunken cost fallacy!
Running your uni's confession Instagram account is pretty funny most of the time, but some of the submissions are sounding more and more like they're talking about you...?
keonho x fem!reader. 1.9k words. fluff. crack (?). sort of smau.
notes: shout out to all the confession accounts out there i love you. this may be my greatest fic ever
The bus rattles and shakes violently as you furiously scan through the list of Google form submissions for your anonymous student Instagram account. It's been about four whole weeks and they still haven't gotten around to fixing the suspension. One slight incline feels like a huge speed bump. Or maybe more like three speed bumps. One after the other.
In fact, the start of some hill almost causes you to crash face-first into the back of the head of the guy in front of you. Considering he's here on about 70% of your bus rides to and from uni, that would be a genuinely horrifying scenario. At least it would make for a good post. “Today I permanently embarrassed myself in front of a really cute boy” sounds vague enough for someone to read it and not realise it's him.
You immediately then think about how much more embarrassing it would be to post something about yourself on your own Instagram page. Sobered, you go back to parsing through messages like “hiiii someone pls go out w me?” and “Fuck Prof Jeon this guy can't do anything”. There are about five different Professor Jeons they could be talking about, but hey. You still affirm their complaints.
The next stop is yours, and you reach out to hit the stop button, careful to avoid the thick dark hair of bus boy. Unfortunately, he seems to sense your movement and stiffens up considerably. Awkward. You pretend nothing happened and stare out the window until the bus grinds to a wobbly halt.
When you hop off the bus and pass bus boy as you always do, you can feel eyes observing your every move.
—
It’s 7:30 in the morning. You have to fight the brain fog especially hard today when your bus trundles up to your stop. Who the hell came up with early lectures? Who the hell even gave you an early lecture? You genuinely consider quitting uni, but think better of yourself.
The bus is especially busy today, which is kind of unheard of on a Wednesday morning. Thankfully, there’s still some seats left, and you opt to take a further one near the back of the bus, flopping very unceremoniously down. Your back kind of hurts, but whatever. Your head kind of hurts, and this doesn’t really count as a whatever, so you decide to save your scrolling time for later and zone out instead.
Intense jolting and tottering signals that the bus is about to stop. When you look up, you realise it’s not bus boy’s stop, but he’s waiting, rugged up in a thick black puffer jacket, behind an elderly couple. You smile briefly. Yeah, you really shouldn’t have expected anything more stylish from him.
You turn away and absentmindedly observe the nice brick facade of this one neighbouring house. Apparently ‘absentmindedly’ undersells how much you were focusing, because you almost jump out of your skin when a mild voice addresses you.
“Um… is this seat free, or…?”
It’s bus boy, and it’s the first time you’ve heard him speak before. It’s a fittingly cute voice.
“Sure,” you tell him, shuffling your stuff over, and he awkwardly plonks down next to you. His huge ass jacket means your arms are touching. You decide not to think more about it for your own sake.
The bus ride feels like it’s moving at 0.75x speed today. His measured breaths have never been so acutely noticeable to you before. The way he fidgets at the cuffs of his puffer takes up about 40% of your active thinking space. Not to mention how he’s got his knees neatly pressed together so that he’s not manspreading into your space…
You close your eyes to clear your head of these thoughts. No way will you let yourself be swayed by this guy so easily. And then you open your eyes again, because yikes, the next stop is yours.
“Excuse me, I’m getting off here,” you politely tell him, gathering your items together.
He stares almost a little blankly at you with huge, doe-like eyes. No movement. Um.
“Are you going to move…?”
Even more silence. You’re running out of time now.
“I have to leave. Sorry.”
After he still doesn’t even twitch, you reach out to hit the stop button, which is coincidentally very close to his face. That probably scares him enough into action.
“Oh my god. I’m sorry I’m so sorry,” he manages to get out, frantically jumping out of his seat. Unfortunately, he manages to drop his phone in the process and has to perform the Retrieval of Shame, which just intensifies the burning red of his ears.
Oooooookay then. The bus stops, you get off, and make tracks for the right lecture hall. If he wasn’t cute, you’d be pissed, but he’s forgiven. For now, anyway.
—
This morning, bus boy isn’t on the bus. It makes for a significantly less interesting bus ride, to say the very least. What’s exciting though is the fact that today is the one point in your timetable where you and your best friend Stella have aligned midday breaks, so you can go out to eat lunch together. It’s probably the only thing that powers you through the droning of this assistant lecturer.
As soon as it’s over, though, you shove your stuff into your bag at record speeds before getting out of the building. You end up hitting the optimal racing line as you speedwalk to the food court, where Stella is already waiting for you at a table.
“Hi!” she excitedly says, as if this is the first time talking to you in years and you two actually hadn’t messaged each other for the entirety of yesterday evening.
“Hi,” you equally excitedly respond. “What do you want to get?”
“I’m feeling like some kimbap,” she decides.
“Sounds good,” you agreeably tell her, and you two accordingly head over to the right storefront. You’re squinting at some spam, egg, and carrot kimbap when Stella gently nudges you.
“Um,” Stella says, “do you… like… know the guys sitting in the booth over there? They’re looking at you.”
You covertly scan your peripheral vision. It’s bus boy and who you assume to be his posse of friends, who probably realised Stella caught onto them, because they’re looking in the complete opposite direction like they think they’re being inconspicuous.
“Yeah, the guy on the far right takes my bus,” you inform her slowly. “Well. Anyways. Kimbap?”
“Kimbap,” Stella confirms, and you two get lunch pretending you witnessed nothing and no one is staring at you. By the time you turn around, they’re gone anyway.
—
Great weather today. Your fingers would genuinely be falling off by now if not for this handwarmer you had the tact to bring. Every breath you let out swirls around you in a cloud of thick mist. Maybe the bus will be a little warmer…!
When you get on, though, it is definitely not any warmer – in fact, it might even be colder. You sadly assume your usual spot behind bus boy, who for some reason, is only wearing a T-shirt and paying the consequences for it. His teeth are clattering, his arms are folded together in some attempt to retain warmth, and he has this one crumpled tissue that he occasionally has to rub his running rose on. If you’re miserable, he’s probably ten times more miserable than you.
It’s made worse by the fact the bus takes a wrong turn at the big intersection, which extends your trip by around five or so minutes. Bus boy sniffles tragically like a damsel in distress. By the time your stop rolls around, you’re feeling bad enough for him that when you get up to leave, you hold out your handwarmer to him. He looks at it dumbfoundedly.
“It’s for you,” you clarify. Maybe it’ll stop him from freezing into an ice cube.
He takes it with no small amount of joyful shock. “Thank you so much.”
You nod and hop off the bus. Today, you might actually be late for your lecture, but it’s late enough into the week for you not to care about running.
—
You stretch out your fingers as you upload today’s posts at the bus stop near campus. The boyfriend’s roommate one definitely made you laugh a bit. Horrifying. The last one, though- Hold on. Wait a second. You suddenly realise how… familiar it is. Handwarmer? Didn’t you do that? This feels mildly suspicious.
Whatever. You chalk it up to coincidence, because lots of people share handwarmers around, and the bus is here anyway, so you don’t really have much room for concern. Clearly now is the time when most students are leaving, because this stop alone fills up the majority of the bus. You’ve got a seat though, so no complaints from you.
You continue looking through your submissions for another post. “to the boy in my music comp class plz never cut ur luscious hair” sounds like a good one. You’re about to copy it into Canva when the bus stops to pick up a lone new passenger, who ends up being bus boy.
The only seat left now is the one next to you. He doesn’t even need to ask anymore. You put your stuff on your lap and he obligingly sits down. Uncaringly, you continue your task at hand, editing the post number and replacing the text inside. It’s fun work. Bus boy also seems to think so, because he starts craning his head to look at your phone. Okay then.
Once he gets a good look at your screen though, he immediately recoils, head slamming into a metal pole. It rings out like a bell of doom. Holy shit. It says a lot about everyone else’s emotional state when they just look away tiredly.
“Are you okay?” you ask, mouth agape.
He doesn’t care for your concern or for his head, instead horrifiedly staring at you dead in the eyes. “YOU run the confessions account?!”
“Um, yeah? Please keep it down though,” you tell him.
“Oh my god I’ve been confessing my love for you,” he genuinely freaks out. “I didn’t realise it was you I’m sorry!!!”
So you weren’t going crazy. “Hey, you’re fine. I think you’re cute.”
“YOU THINK I’M CUTE?????” He’s even more distressed now. Some really nasty looks are going in his direction now. What’ll more of them do to him?
“Yeah. Wanna exchange numbers?”
“EXCHANGE NUMBERS?” He fumbles with his phone, unlocks it, and immediately puts it in your hands like you’re going to change your mind.
You pass your phone over, which he holds as if it’s some kind of sacred object, and tell him your name. He repeats it slowly like he’s engraving it onto his soul.
“I’m Keonho. Ahn Keonho,” he supplies as you finish typing your number into his contacts and switch phones back with him.
“Thanks Keonho,” you tell him, and he almost giggles a bit at the sound of his name. “This is my stop, by the way.”
“I know,” he gravely replies before thinking about what he just said. “Wait but like in a totally normal cool way!!!”
You laugh at him as you stand up. “See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” he says, a little entranced, maybe even a little hopefully. “Tomorrow.”
The bus door neatly closes behind you. You smile to yourself the whole way home. And really, no one'll know if you spend the afternoon refreshing your Google Form just for one special submission.
I HAD TO PLAY RIP OFF SURVIVOR AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY SHIRT (cont.)
james x fem!reader. 2.4k words. fluff. crack.
this will not make much sense if you don't read the opening part!
You run off into the bushes and ponder what the hell you can even do in this situation. James seems like a reliable pick, but you have no idea if he's still got bad blood with you after that fiasco. You don't really want to risk it either. To be fair, though, Jiyu doesn’t work in alliances and Saebi would probably betray you because it'd be funny, so your choices are pretty limited. Maybe Martin?
“Hey,” James suddenly says, and you have to quash your surprise. Since when did he get here? “Do you wanna team up?”
“Sure,” you tell him. “How’s that going to work?”
James hums. “We’ll vote for the same people.”
“Sounds good enough,” you shrug, before Jeff reveals this field of hurdles and boxes.
Welcome to Picture Perfect. It doesn’t look too bad. You aggressively hit your space bar, click furiously at the boxes, bring them back, and start arranging them into an image. You’re fairly certain that next to you, Saebi is neck-and-neck with you, and you refuse to let her win. Move a box there, rotate another box here, and your screen goes black as soon as you’ve finished.
“Yep,” you say as Jeff congratulates you on your victory. “Thank you Jeff.”
James runs off to the left. You wait a little until everyone’s made tracks for somewhere, then run up to find his default bacon-haired avatar parsing through some bushes.
“You did well,” he says whilst you approach, pausing his task at hand. “Who should we vote for?”
“Jiyu,” you immediately tell him. “Once she starts eliminating people, she never stops, and she knows it.”
James nods. “Does she have any advantages? She used a Safety on me.”
“I doubt it,” you say. “She most definitely did that because she found it funny.”
“Alright then,” James laughs. “I’ll see if I can convince Martin or someone.”
There’s no more time left to dawdle – everyone’s pictured walking up to the elimination area, Jeff begins the ceremony, and as planned, you vote Jiyu. Hopefully James isn’t backstabbing you or anything, because otherwise you will make sure he pays for it.
If anyone has an advantage and you want to play it, now would be the time to do so, Jeff says as per usual.
I would like to use my Safety Advantage on myself, iiMarzzzx declares. Oh boy. That may have just been wasted.
Jeff nods an affirmative and begins reading out the votes. iiMarzzzx. kiyomi-jiyu-chan. iiMarzzzx. kiyomi-jiyu-chan. JjuTheDudeTV. kiyomi-jiyu-chan. xosssaebi.
“Sorry Jiyu,” you say as the last vote is revealed to be for her. “You’re too good. It had to be done.”
“No hard feelings,” Jiyu affirms you, because she’d probably be doing the same in your shoes. Scratch probably – definitely. Her avatar gets up to have the flame of her torch extinguished, and she walks away. You’re ready to get moving again, but everyone still remains stationary?
But it’s not over yet, Jeff gleefully says in lieu of an explanation. Jeff, you legend of a man. Another elimination when you have immunity. Thank you. You’re about to hastily consult James by messaging him, but he speaks. Really, really loudly too.
“MARTIN.”
“Damn,” Martin says, not impolitely. “Big voice today.”
“My bad,” James says at a normal volume. “Who you going to vote for?”
You stand up to vote and pick iiMarzzzx from the array of members. Message loud and clear – in both senses of the term.
“Now why would I tell you that,” Martin says amusedly.
“Worth a shot,” James shrugs as everyone sits down again.
Jeff prepares himself. First vote: JjuTheDudeTV. Okay, sure. The second vote is iiMarzzzx. Then XxAbyssalHunterxX. James20051014 after that. xosssaebi. KONOkonoKonoKoNo. At last… iiMarzzzx.
It’s an anticlimactic elimination. Martin tells everyone a polite bye as he leads himself away into the darkness. Sorry about that, Martin. You’d take him a bit more seriously if his avatar wasn’t dressed shoulder to toe in edgy drip circa 2021.
Back at base, you look both ways like you’re crossing a road before putting down your Fake Safety Advantage in some wayward shrubbery. Looks legitimate enough, you suppose. What isn’t very legitimate is that for some reason, James is just trailing you, so now you two just look suspicious.
“What are you doing?” you ask. “Don’t pick that up by the way. It’s fake.”
“I assumed as much,” James says. “I don’t know, what are we doing?”
You stare at his fuckass bacon headed character. “Great question.”
Silence. Strangely enough, it’s just silence – not awkward or anything. Mildly bizarre, but in a good way.
“How about we just sit here until the next challenge?” James eventually decides.
“No,” you say. “We’re too close to The Object. Let’s head back to camp.”
“Alright,” he indulgently tells you, letting you lead the way.
“Do you guys have room for one more,” KONOkonoKonoKoNo abruptly dashes towards you two, walking straight through the bush and into the Fake Safety. “Oh. Never mind.”
It’s a little too late for him to unbox his fun surprise just yet, because Jeff teleports everyone again. This time, it’s King of the Hill. You decide to count yourself out of the running and just whack as many people as you can with your stick.
James, luckily, proves himself to have considerable dodging power. And considerable hitting power. Your alliance is most definitely not obvious at all to everyone else, considering how no one is being spared from James’ clobbering.
“This is so not fair,” Saebi whines as she gets knocked back down the stairs.
“Sorry,” James kindly says, before dispatching her off to Narnia again. How thoughtful.
“James, can we please call a truce?” Juhoon tentatively makes his way up. “I don’t even care if I don’t win, I’m just tired.”
“Sure,” James kindly says, before granting Juhoon King of the Hill privileges for the last singular second of the challenge. How generous.
In the end, it comes to absolutely no surprise that James wins the game. Not by a small margin, either.
“Good game guys,” James cheerily declares, covertly positioning himself in earshot. Yep. Okay. Yep!
Seonghyeon disappears into the ocean. Keonho immediately makes tracks for wherever the Fake Safety map is guiding him. Juhoon wanders off into the distance. Saebi inconspicuously sidles up next to you.
“Can we vote Keonho?” she asks. “He lowkey pisses me off. Like one of my little cousins.”
“Sure,” you choke back a laugh, because something tells you that James will agree.
“Cool,” she says, and leaves.
“I got that,” James confirms, emerging from his vantage point, “and I agree. He literally eats half my pantry whenever he comes over. Do you know how expensive eggs are?”
Jeff also seems to agree, because everyone’s sent off to the polls. This time, there's something deeply amusing about getting up from your little seat. You select Keonho’s username from the five options and await the tragic, tragic fate waiting for him.
I would like to use my Safety Advantage on myself, JjuTheDudeTV says.
Sure. Up to you. Jeff doesn’t care.
I would like to use my Safety Advantage on myself, KONOkonoKonoKoNo also says.
Jeff takes it for appraisal. You hold your breath. James holds his breath.
This is not a real Safety Advantage, Jeff emotionlessly states.
“Holy shit,” like five people say at once. Including Keonho.
Pretending that he didn’t drop an insane bombshell, Jeff begins to unravel the votes. KONOkonoKonoKoNo. xosssaebi. KONOkonoKonoKoNo. JjuTheDudeTV. JjuTheDudeTV.
“Surely not,” Saebi gasps.
The last vote is revealed. KONOkonoKonoKoNo. That’s three votes, and that’s enough.
“Oh,” Seonghyeon horrifiedly says as Keonho’s torch is extinguished. “Keonho…”
To make matters worse, Jeff isn’t even done. But it’s not over yet…
“This is genuinely unprecedented,” Juhoon says, shell shocked. “Two double elimination rounds in a row. Are we serious right now?”
“It’ll be very serious once you’re gone,” Saebi sunnily says. You admire her audacity. In fact, you’re convinced by it.
You are now privately chatting with James20051014.
[To James20051014] yourusername: vote juhoon
James20051014: Ok
Ooooohhhhhh. Who’s going to tell him that was not a private message? It ends up being Saebi, who slowly says, “James, why the hell are you just saying ‘ok’ in chat?”
Silence. “I felt like it,” replies James, equally slowly.
“Okay,” she says, suspicion laden in her voice. “Okay.”
This clearly sticks with her, because xosssaebi decides I would like to use my Last Chance. She does not end up winning the ⅙ gamble. Lucky for her, she’s not involved in your targeted slander program. When your avatar goes up to stand, you immediately vote Juhoon. Sorry, not sorry.
Jeff tallies the votes, and reads them. JjuTheDudeTV. Alright. yourusername. Okay. xosssaebi. Sure. Lastly… JjuTheDudeTV. Bring me your torch.
Jeff is the destroyer of dreams and hope and joy and whimsy and all the other synonyms. Jeff ruins lives. Jeff puts everyone back at base camp as if nothing happened.
Everyone just assumes positions around the campfire, because advantages are now useless. Instead of emulating the four cardinal directions though, it’s you and James on one side, Saebi to your left, and Seonghyeon to your right.
“Soooo,” Saebi says. “[name], do you wanna go out for ramyeon after this?”
“Sure,” you reply. “The one near Daebang Station?”
The owner there always gives you a million little plates loaded with one side dish each and some barley tea. We love you, Ms Lee.
“You’re near Daebang Station?” James asks. “We’re all kinda near there too.”
“Oh really,” Saebi excitedly says. “We should all meet up after this.”
“What happened to stranger danger,” you ask, then think better of it. “Wait. Never mind. Martin literally gave us his Instagram with everyone’s faces on it.”
All the skeptical tension immediately dissolves out of Seonghyeon. Damn. You had no idea he was even that stiff. “I forgot about that.”
“You've seen me?” James surprisedly says.
“Maybe,” you say. “Not sure who’s who, except for Juhoon, Martin, and Seonghyeon.”
“I should be on the last slide of Martin’s pinned,” James says.
“I didn't get that far,” you admit. “I’ll check after this game.”
The game in question turns out to be a bunch of numbered fences and a bunch of shit enclosed by the fences. Bananas have fallen out of this one pen, so they’re kind of just littering the floor. Jeff says you have to count the number of objects, and Jeff’s word is law, so everyone’s running laps up and down to peer at these bags and boxes.
“The first three are seven, three, four,” James kindly informs you as you run past him.
“Thanks,” you say, executing a perfect U-turn. “Five, eight, two.”
“You have to be joking.” Seonghyeon immediately realises what’s happened once James wins the competition.
“Seonghyeon,” you say, “how do you feel about voting for Saebi?”
“I’m literally right here,” Saebi says.
“Sure,” Seonghyeon intelligently says.
“Good, because we would’ve voted for you otherwise,” you tell him.
The last voting session is almost anxiety-inducing, even though everyone knows what’s going to happen. The first vote reads xosssaebi. Second vote reads xosssaebi. Third reads xosssaebi. Guess what the fourth one reads! If you said xosssaebi, you’d be correct. You didn’t expect her to vote herself out, but okay.
Once Saebi’s off, everyone’s immediately transported to this stage, with stone seating adjacent. It's you, James, and Seonghyeon at the very end. You watch as the jury members pile in, sit down, and watch. Jeff launches into his little speech, but Beni doesn’t care.
“Give us some words,” she demands mid-spiel about survival.
“Please vote for me,” you say.
“Alright. James?”
“Please don't vote for me,” James politely says. “I want her to win.”
“What,” you indignantly say, breaking the silence. “What! That’s literally not how the game works.”
“Well, it is now,” James responds like a smug cat in some warm sunlight.
“Damn,” Seonghyeon interrupts whatever’s going on. “My bad. Just kick me out already.”
The jury will now make their decision, Jeff informs everyone.
“Hey,” James tells you. “Even if we lose, I still had a lot of fun.”
“Me too,” you say slowly.
“I’m looking forward to seeing you after this,” he continues.
You laugh at that. “What if I’m atrociously chopped? Will you still want to see me then?”
“I could never think that about you,” he indignantly replies. “No. Never.”
And the winner of Outlaster is… Jeff uncaringly barges in, because he loves ruining moments, XxAbyssalHunterxX.
“Oh,” you all say. Seonghyeon’s 2018 relic avatar makes its way to Jeff, all fire-and-ice Adidas hoodie and Roblox face Shiny Teeth.
“We felt bad for Seonghyeon,” Yuha clarifies. “Even more so after… whatever that just was.”
“Thanks,” Seonghyeon says. “I do not feel any better.”
“It’s okay,” James reassures you and not Seonghyeon, like you needed any reassurance in the first place.
“I think you’re stuck with him forever,” Martin bluntly informs you. “That’s just how he is.”
You’re immediately hit with a spike of anxiety, because even if he says he doesn’t care if you’re ugly, what if he’s ugly? Fumbling with your phone, you make your way over to Martin’s profile and flick through his pinned post, as promised about a round ago except you forgot.
And holy shit. He is the prime example of someone you would say in Wavelength for the category beautiful man-ugly man (from right to left) when the 4 is at the very far right. Ohhhh. You have just been speaking to this guy like an old friend, when you probably would look at him on some bus stop advertisement, sigh longingly, and go about your day.
Well. Such is the nature of Roblox. You’re sorry for doubting him.
“I’ll be there in half an hour,” you say. “See you then?”
“Yeah,” James immediately responds. “See you.”
“See you too, in case you forgot about me,” Saebi angrily butts in.
“You too,” you laugh, sending off friend requests to everyone, leaving the game to a cacophony of farewells, and turning off your laptop. You have about five minutes until you have to go, but it feels more like one as you turn your place upside down in search of your transport card.
You’re never doubting Yuha’s ideas ever again. This one makes up for them all.
Planned hike, but everyone "accidentally" bails except for you and James
𖤓˚࿔ Genre: Fluff, humour, crack au
𖤓˚࿔ Pairing: nonidol!James x fem!reader
𖤓˚࿔ Warnings: Curse words, death threat (banter)
𖤓˚࿔ WC: 1716 words
So that is that. Now you and James are both stranded on a hike. Alone. For more than 4 hours. History is repeating itself as the friend group is once again trying to set you two up, just like how they planned a dinner outing just for you and James to enjoy the gourmet food all by yourselves. But for some reason, a reason that is definitely mutually shared: you’re always secretly excited to spend time exclusively with each other.
The sun has just woken as its beams of light pierce through the wispy clouds. James stands, freezing his ass off, in the parking lot, patiently waiting for your car to pull in. You, as always, are running 15 minutes late, haphazardly swerving in between lanes while screaming at the top of your lungs to a random playlist. Arriving closer to the national park, hues of green and orange fill your peripheral vision, causing your jaw to instinctively drop. Allured by the majestic view, you remind yourself to stay focused on the road, so you don’t crash before getting to truly enjoy the surroundings. In the distance, you can see James, who is doing butt-kicks as a pathetic attempt to keep himself warm, causing you to chuckle audibly.
“Sorry for being late, I was uh….running late.” You quickly climb out of your car as you are met with James jokingly rolling his eyes at your non-excuse. Without a second thought, James delicately wraps his fingers around your wrist, guiding you towards the entrance of the wooded forests. Your eyes widen at the sudden boldness while you fumble the car keys around in your free hand, attempting to lock the car before you both get too far away.
“Just us again, huh?” you manage to announce as you stare into the nape of his neck. Somehow, you are both wearing matching Arc'teryx jackets that cost an arm and a leg.
“Fortunately,” James murmurs under his breath, just quiet enough to make you think you’re going crazy.
“What?”
“Fortunately. Imagine trying to carry Keonho and Seonghyeon up and down the mountain.”
“Oh. Right.” Of course, Keonho and Seonghyeon - how can you forget?
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
It's been 30 minutes into your hike, and James has threatened to leave you more times than you can count on your fingers and toes because you keep stopping every 10 seconds to snap photos. How can he not? Every new step you take is a new view waiting to be savoured.
The sun has now fully brightened from its slumber, casting soft, dappled light that falls so gently onto James’ golden skin. The bickering has dampened itself out; now only the sound of crunching leaves and birds singing can be heard. Looming trees line the forest ground as the breeze provides a temporary comfort to the burning sensation in both of your quads. All the leg extensions and for what? Head down and wallowing in your state of pain, you fail to notice that James’ footsteps have halted in front of you, causing you to drive headfirst into his chest. You stumble backwards while looking up, only to be met with that annoying smirk of his. He places his hands gently on the sides of your waist to steady you.
“You good?” James asks in between light chuckles, his hands still lingering on your side.
“Yep. Totally,” you answer back, turning away in a smooth motion as you feel your cheeks start to overheat, and not because of the hiking.
In an instant, relief washes over you as a weight, literally, is lifted off your shoulders. James, noticing your sluggishness of the last 2 miles, has taken your heavy-ass bag and slung it in front of his chest. You start to fake-cry and holler, rubbing your hands furiously across your face to thank him for his kind gesture.
“Omgggg, sooooo dramatic. Come on, drama queen, we wanna get down before sunset,” James whines, as the corners of his mouth lift in a teasing smile.
“It’s 9 AM, by the way,” you snap back, storming off with your arms crossed as you can hear him laughing at you in the background. “Now you’re being the slow one; hurry.”
“Yes, princess,” James says as he salutes you.
Once again, you both start to steady yourselves up the mountain, scaling rocks, occasionally slipping on the smooth faces of rocks, and periodically stopping so you, specifically, can take water breaks as James stands with his hands on his hips, both bags hanging off him, to wait for you. Occasionally, you also have to stop yourself from staring, not at the beautiful nature that surrounds you both but at him. The sweat beads forming on his forehead, the way his blonde strands of hair glimmer in the sunlight, and the veins peeking through his skin. Only friends, Y/N, remember, only friends.
You are punched back into reality when James snaps his head around to face you, causing you to stare off into nothing and scratch your head awkwardly.
“Another break?” James patiently inquires you.
“Nope, let’s keep going,” you quickly answer before hurrying off in front of him, refusing to let him see your flushed expression.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
“Here.” James reaches out a hand to you, standing at the top of a giant boulder. Mountain climbing is not in your job description. You slide your hand into his, interlocking your fingers as you attempt to haul yourself upwards. Even though you’re not much of a climber, you are apparently a great leaper, and with the amount of energy you put into the jump combined with James’ pulling force, this causes you to face-plant right into the dirt.
“OH FUCK,” you manage to bellow out before being muffled by the ground itself. The pain that emanates through your body is quickly replaced with immense embarrassment, a feeling you only felt during elementary soccer practice.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” James hurries to you, helping you dust off your jacket that is now painted with a new shade of light brown.
“Yep,” you say, pressing your eyelids together and pursing your lips in total humiliation.
“Hold my hand from now on; I don’t want you to get hurt,” James states as he tightly grips your palm in his. Is this what friends do? Like a hand is going to help. Confusion washes over you, but you do nothing about it.
“If you say so.” So, now you both set off hand in hand and walk so closely to each other that you can physically feel his body heat. What is happening? Genuinely.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
“OH MY GOD I SEE THE TOP!” you yell at the top of your lungs, becoming a public nuisance in the process. Your hand breaks away from his hand as you skip to the clearing, like the light at the end of the tunnel, twirling from pure happiness. James gives you a side eye before joining you in the happy dancing.
You both are physically and mentally wrecked. Sweaty. Thirsty. Hungry. Overheating. All the bad things associated with hiking, you both are exactly that. You waste no time, sitting down at the ledge of the boulder, admiring the vast view below. Fields of emerald grass stretch farther than you can see, the blades of green rhythmically swaying to the gentle wave of the wind. Mountains that are glamorously painted with amber and lushness situate themselves as the centrepiece of the magnificent view. The sky, splintered by the warm sunlight, is painted with dainty strands of clouds.
James hauls the bags down, then takes a seat next to you, tilting his head back as he rests himself on his hands.
“Pretty, isn’t it?” you say, letting out a sigh. Your hands are wrapped around your knees as you admire the view ahead.
“So pretty,” he mutters. You turn your head to him, ready to affirm his opinion, but are met with a pair of eyes staring daggers into you.
“Ew, stop, I’m gonna jump.”
James doesn’t say anything, but rather, he moves closer to you, so that now your shoulders are basically touching each other.
“Hey, Y/N.”
“You’re scaring me.”
“What if I said I’m glad those fuckers faked sick today?”
“Then I would say I agree.”
“Really now?”
“Yeah.”
The silence, although interrupted by the shuffling of wildlife, begins to thicken. You can feel James start to tense up, his breath getting quicker.
“Y/N, don’t jump, okay?”
“What are you saying right now?”
“Aight, my bad. Okay so. Um.” You have never seen James this flustered before. The boy who is usually very articulate with his words is now suddenly stumbling over himself, his eyes darting around like he’s searching for the answer in the trees.
“I wasn’t going to before, but now I might jump because you’re killing me. Just say it.” A concerned expression stretches over your face. You continue to analyse his face while unpacking the sandwiches from your bag.
“I like you.”
“Oh hell nah.” A random response escapes you before you can cup your mouth shut.
“Oh sorry, um.” You watch as James closes his eyes, a veil of disappointment draping his face.
“WAIT NO. I meant ‘oh hell yeah’ because I like me too. No, I like you too.”
“What?”
“I like you too.”
“OH HELL NAH.” James jumps up from his seated position, hands clasped on the back of his head as he walks himself back into the forest. Frozen by the adrenaline, you stay put, burrowing your head into your knees from immense embarrassment, the same embarrassment you felt only one hour ago.
“I didn’t hear you the first time.” James emerges from the trees, grinding the words out past the wide smile that has now appeared on his face.
“I like you too?”
“OH HELL YEAH!!! WOOOOOO, Y/N LIKES ME AND I LIKE Y/N!!!” James screams out into the world, emptying his whole chest. He pumps his hand a few times into the air in celebration, which leads you to burst into laughter, ultimately getting rid of all the tension that lingered between you two. “I WANT TO THANK MARTIN, SEONGHYEON, KEONHO, AND JUHOON. YOU FUCKERS DID SOMETHING RIGHT FOR ONCE!!!!!!”
I HAD TO PLAY RIP OFF SURVIVOR AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY SHIRT
Survivor – outwit, outplay, outlast. Maybe you should just say outlast, because that's what you end up having to do on Roblox game Outlaster with a group of rowdy boys.
cortis x fem!reader. 4k words. separate routes. fluff. crack. introductory part.
notes: serious creative liberties have been taken don't look too hard. i got rid of redemption sorry all eliminations go to the jury. roblox hcs are kind of secretly a sequel to this but shhh. very dialogue heavy. all routes will be posted very soon!
Acridity, tilting on the precipice of cold iron, burns your tongue in a million tiny electric shocks, refracting through keyboard clacks and mouse clicks and headphone static. Doors closing. Witches cackling. Gun shots in trills. 100s in bold red font. Crosshairs, perfectly centred, unwavering. A golden knife? Someone closes in behind you, and when you spin around, it's all over. Jumping and explosions and nemeses and revenge and-
You wake up with a start. The world is dark and vaguely damp looking. Garish technicolour patterns spin aimless roundabouts in the shadows. It's kind of nasty. They immediately decompose once your phone flickers to life though. 2:58 am is neatly emblazoned onto the display – in other words, ass o’clock, but clearly not for someone, whose Discord message from one minute ago says… something. You can't be fucked to open your phone and read it, so the message and the sender will have to be a secret.
For now, though, you haphazardly toss your phone back into the beckoning abyss and go to sleep again. This time, you only see ducks – yellow talking ones, asking for grapes, not lemonade, that waddle away and then come back again the next day. Your dreams are getting really, really weird.
Sigmund Freud said dreams are “wish fulfilments”, and quite frankly, the only thing being fulfilled right now is your growing wish for your alarm to shut up, which is vibrating and screaming at absurd volumes. One day, you're going to change it to some bad song so you’re obligated to pause it, but for now, you lie on your bed a little longer to the BGM of the default alarm until you really have to get going.
However, when you finally extract yourself from the doona, your phone falls off onto the ground with a horrifying crack. If it's broken, you may as well just give up and stay home! You intently peer at the screen. It's not broken. Both tragic and not tragic.
But then you see the notification from last night on your screen, which has revealed half its secrets. It's not exactly a good sign that it’s from Yuha in Discord server Gamers, which genuinely dates back to COVID-19 lockdowns, when your group of five – Jiyu, Yuha, Beni, Saebi, and yourself – met online and realised you all live close together. Like, goes to the same convenience store type close. The “not a good sign” thing is purely because all of the worst decisions in your life have originated from this server.
Lucky for you, you have a penchant for making poor choices. Or unlucky, because you refuse to look back at the old messages here. Dark history.
yuharam 02:57
@ everyone x
we should play roblox 🥺
You read Yuha’s message whilst brushing your teeth, and some foam gets onto your phone screen. Yikes. After scrubbing it off, you hastily tap in a short response and go hurry the fuck up, because you're going to be late if you don't, and you really don't want to push your luck.
[name] 07:46
when?
—
It's only during lunch when you finally get a chance to check your phone. You parse through your KFC promotion emails (“20000 WON BIG FEED 🎁 TODAY ONLY”) and random Instagram notifications (“hey can u cover my shift”) to get to the good stuff.
Jiyu 08:12
Yes I agree
Does today at 7:45 pm work for everyone?
[👍3]
You press on the three to turn it a four. It's a genuine miracle – usually, everyone's busy with something or other, and you say as much.
[name] 12:28
we’re actually all free????
To your surprise, Jiyu immediately responds. Probably on her lunch break or something.
Jiyu 12:29
Great see everyone at 7:45
Sharp
☺️
Yeah, okay. Now Jiyu’s just hoping for pigs to fly, because no way in hell will everyone get their shit together by then. Her optimism is admirable though, you'll give her that.
When you dump your water bottle back inside your bag, Saebi, of all people, storms by in a swirl of long black tresses, wired headphones stuffed into her ears and a mildly pissed pout on her face. This comes with the side effect that she’s genuinely oblivious to the beckoning world, including your awkward half wave.
You take it as a sign to put your phone away, lock back in, and think joyfully and a little tragically of gaming.
—
Jiyu 19:45
Hello everyone
[name] 19:47
beni hurry up jiyu yuha and i are going to play bingo
Ben10 19:48
what if i told u it's not letting me in 😹🤞🤞🤞
yk what im killing rblx i spent sm money
yuharam 19:48
same like my bloxburg shi is highk 50000 won alone 🌞
Ben10 19:52
NVM we love rblx
Jiyu 19:55
My Adopt Me streak is actually so dead 😭
🦐SAEBI🦐 19:55
Omfggg i forgot about that game
Do u think my nfr arctic reindeer is still worth anything
Raised my bbg from the egg 🙂↕️🙂↕️
Jiyu 19:55
Your WHAT
yuharam 19:56
girl bffr why does royale high only have 3k players
Jiyu 19:56
No way really 😢
[name] 19:56
nah what is everyone playing now then
wait hop on call
“Guysssss,” Yuha whines into her mic. “It's been too long. Why do you all have to have a life? We should just play games all day.”
“Yeah, you try playing games all day and paying rent,” Jiyu complains, joining into the server. “I hate work.”
You sigh tragically as you stamp off ‘All the threes, thirty-three’ on your bingo cards. It's to no avail, though – user UnicornPuppies27 calls out Bingo in a genuinely infuriating middle aged British woman voice. “Yuha, can you pay for my dinner today? I could be working right now. To pay for it.”
“FUCK YOU,” Yuha retorts, pure liquid vitriol in her voice.
“That's not very nice,” you tell her. “Feeling deeply hurt. Feeling like you should pay for my food as reparations.”
“No,” Yuha says, rolling her eyes, “not you. UnicornPuppies. I was literally one off from full house.”
“Valid crashout,” Beni says. “Oh my god. Can we all sue this shit ass MacBook? Why is Roblox not loading?”
Taking the last seat, Saebi’s character xosssaebi joins you, Jiyu, and Yuha on the Bingo table. “Okay, but what games are still alive?”
“Surely Piggy,” you say. “Or like Flee the Facility.”
Beni vehemently vetoes your latter pick. “I can't with that game. The music is actually too scary. Piggy lowkey sounds pretty good though.”
“What she said,” Saebi says as Beni’s avatar saunters in and just stands at the end of the table with nowhere to sit. “But no offense, I don't wanna play Piggy. We should just play Work at a Pizza Place and bully the manager into leaving.”
All this talk of these old games is cleansing the dust and grime off your memories. The Jailbreak fall off… the MM2 map removal… Wait a second. You’re fairly certain they-
“Did you know they got rid of chat?” you ask. “But only if you're under eighteen or something. You better pray the manager has chat.”
Jiyu sounds dismayed. “They got rid of chat for the kiddos? How are they meant to play, like, Survivor? Slash e dance to communicate? Gifting safety advantages?”
“I’m only two years older than you. Also, Outlaster is such a bad name.”
“So true, grandma. Also, you can't slash e dance when you don't even have chat?” Saebi starts trying to double jump on Beni’s avatar. It's brave work, especially considering Galeria Bingo has just started and keeping up with six bingo cards in this mode is nigh impossible. Why the hell all the icons look the same is beyond you.
Yuha decides to take pity on Jiyu and butts in. “Guys, apparently they added voice chat.”
“Voice chat?” everyone, sans Yuha, asks.
“Yeah,” she confirms, “but you need an ID.”
“Fuck Roblox,” Beni says, furiously typing something up. You know because you can hear the rapid clicking of her keyboard. Ddok ddok ddok. It's very calming. “I'm using Spongebob’s driver’s license.”
Jiyu skeptically hums. “Is that even going to wo-”
“No way it let me in,” Beni answers her question. “Wait what how.”
Bingo be damned. You immediately minimise your Roblox tab and pull the image up on Google, Bikini Bottom issued and for a Mr Spongebob Squarepants. You plug it in. It works.
“No wayyyyyy,” you say, dragging out the consonant in pure disbelief. “No way.”
“Hop off Bingo,” Saebi declares. “We are playing Outlaster.”
“Give me a minute,” Jiyu gets out, frantically spamming each little icon on her bingo sheets. “I might actually get the line Bingo.”
You all obligingly stand around Jiyu’s avatar whilst she cleaves through her boards. Cactus. No bingo. Mexican flag. No bingo. Cloak. No bingo. Farmer…
“Bingo!” declares kiyomi-jiyu-chan, extraordinarily smugly. Hakyuha12 starts jumping around furiously in celebration, and everyone follows suit as Jiyu’s avatar (which you can barely see now) is blasted onto the main screen.
“That's what I thought,” Yuha says. “Okay, join me on Outlaster now. We’ll be outside the big circle. Don't go in.”
Once everyone’s congregated in a mass and a game’s just started up, Saebi yells to get inside the circle. You're all piled in and teleported to this jungle beach thing in seconds. Survivor is so unnecessarily nostalgic.
“Why’d they get rid of Jeff’s name though?” you ask as Jeff the host rattles off the introductory speech. “I know it's you, Jeff.”
Jiyu shrugs as Jeff calls out for team leaders. “Copyright?”
“Who wants to be a team leader?” Beni asks. “Just as, like, an expression of interest. Before we leave call and open up voice chat.”
Headless user iiMarzzzx opens his mic. “Guys, vote James20051014 for captain.”
“Shut up Martin. Vote KONOkonoKonoKoNo,” who you assume to be James says.
“No bruh,” rebuts KONOkonoKonoKoNo. You mentally decide to just call him Kono. “We gotta vote XxAbyssalHunterxX.”
“Who let nine-year-old Timmy in,” Beni snickers. “XxAbyssalHunterxX. Holy.”
“Stand up Seonghyeon,” James cries in faux disbelief.
JjuTheDudeTV, with a classic noob avatar, speaks up. “Guys hurry up who the hell am I meant to vote for?”
Saebi bites the bullet. She's turned on this awful, awful chipmunk voice changer. “Jju, I think you should vote kiyomi-jiyu-chan.”
“Okay,” Jju says agreeably. “I voted.”
Kono gasps in horror. “You fake! You poser. You- you betrayer!”
“Should've chosen someone faster,” Jju shrugs.
He's not wrong. Three seconds later, kiyomi-jiyu-chan and presumably randomly selected XxAbyssalHunterxX make their way to the front as team leaders. First pick goes to Jiyu, who is the best at everything, so you know what you have to do.
“Kiyomi Jiyu-chan,” you plead into the mic, “pick me. Me.”
“Nooooo,” Beni says, “me!”
“Wait no,” Kono says. “Pick me!”
Martin gags. “You hypocrite. Jumping on Juhoon, and then immediately switching up sides.”
“Hmm,” Jiyu politely ignores him. “Everyone, plead your cases.”
“What,” you complain. “I didn't even get to say anything!”
Beni bristles. “Is there something wrong with carrot cake?”
“What can I say,” Kono says. “I'm just better. And cooler. And handsomer.”
“And you’re gone,” screeches Beni indignantly, “the way you're gonna be OUUUUUTTTTTTT.”
“Wow,” Seonghyeon croons, clearly instigating. “Keonho, what do you have to say to that?”
“I meannnn. Half the server just left. Clearly it’s because of my aur-”
“No,” Juhoon cuts him off. “I think it’s because your stink scared them off. Why the fuck did you smell like that today?”
“Damn bruh,” Keonho defends himself. “I swear I didn't even put on that much cologne!”
His friends remain silent. It's not a good sign. Jeff thankfully breaks it by randomly assigning Saebi to Seonghyeon’s team. Jiyu, absolutely sensing the inevitable shitstorm that will arise if Beni and Keonho are in one team, goes with Beni because you know she secretly loves drama. Seonghyeon chooses Juhoon, Jiyu kindly adds you, Seonghyeon picks Martin, Jiyu decides on James, and Seonghyeon who was most definitely going for James ends up with Yuha.
“Last pick,” Yuha says. “Feeling great.”
The game uncaringly deposits everyone in base camp, who immediately spread out to search the grounds. You run through countless bushes. Nothing. You pass Saebi. She says she has nothing either. And then the game starts, so you're just going to have to hope for the best.
Some obstacle course thing comes into view, before panning across to a steel cube frame with a million ropes hanging inside it. Never, in your life, have you played this mini game before. Jeff is considerate enough to explain though. It ends up just being some kind of sandbag throwing game, which doesn't really help much.
“Wait, where the hell is James?” Keonho asks as you all port back bags to the metal… thing. “He's still in the game.”
“WHO CARES ABOUT JAMES. HOW DOES THIS WORK,” Beni screeches as her bag misses. Your team is down 1-3. 1-4 now.
“You have to click and hold,” Jiyu patiently says, clearly doing something because the scoreboard flicks to a 2-4 now. “Knock them down.”
You manage to hit a pole. “Thank you Jiyu.”
“YES,” Keonho yelps. Four-all now.
Beni hits a pole, but it just bounces off instead. “THIS IS RIGGED!!!!!!”
“You'll get the next one,” Jiyu reassures her, knocking a pole down. Five-all.
“No, she won't,” you say, scoring another point. “We've got ten seconds left.”
It's Keonho’s turn, and coincidentally, it's a tiebreaker. All or nothing. He tosses the bag, it arcs through the air, looks on-target, and-
It hits, wobbles, and does not fall down.
On the top of your screen, the other team’s score flicks from a six-all to a. To a 6-7.
“Don't say it,” Jiyu says tiredly. “Please don't.”
“I won't,” Beni gravely declares, which says a lot coming from her. “How the hell did we lose?”
She has a point. Even with the Jiyu buff, your team still ended up losing. Just what was James doing?
“I'm sorry,” James yelps, waiting at base camp, “my internet cut out and the game, like, wouldn't let me participate.”
“Yeah right. Can't throw, can't do anything,” Beni callously says, salty from the loss. “You're gone, boy.”
Needless to say, James immediately cuts his losses and scuttles off into the undergrowth. Fair enough. You also decide to dig your way around the bush, and… run into a scroll?
The compass (because of course you have to search for your advantages now instead of just getting them) spins around firmly in this spot next to a tree. All or nothing, you suppose.
You dig it out. It's a fucking Vote View. How useful.
The mood at the trial is a little pensive. You doubt James has found anything, so unless he uses that Last Chance thing, he's done for since you decide to vote for him and you have no doubt everyone else has done the same too.
If anyone has an advantage and you want to play it, now would be the time to do so. Jeff’s dialogue appears on screen.
“Now just who is using their advantages,” Keonho dryly comments.
As if on cue, the pajama-clad avatar of kiyomi-jiyu-chan stands up from its perfect right angle on the log. I would like to use my safety advantage…
James lets out a startled noise. “Nah, what?”
…on James20051014.
“Happy early birthday James,” Jiyu graciously says. “Enjoy your present.”
“Thank you, but like. How do you know when my birthday is?” James asks with unveiled suspicion.
You can hear Keonho’s amused judgement through the screen. “Your username.”
“Ooohhhhhh,” James grimaces, whilst Jeff announces the vote reveal. “Sorry.”
The first vote has James20051014 printed on some ratty paper. The second has BeniBearBoo. (Beni, predictably, is not impressed.) The third has James20051014 again. Fourth, James20051014. Fifth, to no one’s surprise, is James20051014 again.
Wait. If all of the votes for James are void, that means…
BeniBearBoo, Jeff solemnly says, give me your torch.
“WHAT,” Beni screeches, staring as her character moves almost as if controlled by some higher power known as game code. “WHAT?”
Jeff continues. It's time for you to leave.
“I’M HAUNTING YOU,” Beni furiously yells from the rickety ass bamboo walkway, disappearing to Jury Land. “I’M ACTUALLY HAUNTING YOU-”
Her proximity chat dies out as everyone’s teleported back into the main camp like nothing happened. Rest in peace Beni. Gone too soon.
“James, bruh, Jiyu wants you so bad,” some unknown character – you think it's Martin – says to James, who has just circled back.
“No, I really don’t,” Jiyu dryly replies, before disappearing into the bushes in search for advantages again. James similarly leaves in the opposite direction, sensing the fragility of his team position. It's just your character, iiMarzzzx, KONOkonoKonoKoNo, and xosssaebi left standing around because the advantage ecosystem has most definitely been wiped out.
“God,” Keonho suddenly sighs wistfully, “Jeff is so hot.”
“It's the same as my Roblox username,” Saebi says. “But I don't let ugly Jeff haters follow me, sorry.”
“I am going to follow you,” Martin says with passion. “And I have just followed you. Because I am not ugly.”
“Jeez. Let me pull up my Insta-” Saebi cuts herself off. “Bruh…”
“What,” you eventually say, aggrieved. “Is he ugly? I’m invested.”
Jiyu sighs. “Send in chat please. I can't tell if this is so-ugly-you’re-speechless silence or if it's so-beautiful-you’re-speechless silence.”
As if on cue, your Discord lights up with a notification. It's a spoilered photo. You click it uncaringly. A shadowy screenshot of this inordinately tall, floppy brown haired boy stares back at you, slouching against some grungy wall à la angsty coming-of-age film still, a pair of silver aviators winking pearlescent camera flares. His tastefully distressed jeans look distinctly like something Saebi would have saved under ‘NEED’ on her Pinterest, which explains why she shut up. It's so-envious-she’s-speechless silence.
“I'm sorry for calling you ugly,” Saebi mutters through clenched teeth. “Where are your clothes from? Please tell me where you get your clothes from.”
“The thrift,” Martin smugly informs her, affirmed at last. “Depop. My dad.”
“Fuck you,” Saebi says. “Fuck you.”
Jeff moves you all to a beach in response, presenting this huge wooden stage with red velvet curtains. Unlike the last one, this minigame is a very, very familiar one.
“Memorisation,” Yuha declares. “Fear not, team. I will lead us to victory.”
First to go is you and Seonghyeon. The curtains pull apart to reveal six circular icons, each depicting some kind of tropical-themed pictorial, before the curtains slide shut again.
Yuha immediately starts dictating them into the mic, boot camp drill sergeant style. “FIRE. PALM TREE. WATER. BANANA. FIRE. FISH.”
“Thanks for the help Yuha,” you considerately say as you smash them into your screen faster than Seonghyeon.
“Damn,” she replies. “I see how it is. I will not be leading us to victory.”
James easily clears Martin in a banana-fish-banana-fish-water-water combo, finishing it in about a second flat. So does Jiyu against Juhoon. It's inspiring to watch.
“This is not fair,” Keonho says fearfully as he's placed into the hot seat. “Why am I against Yuha?”
“Good luck,” Yuha says, not unkindly, before immediately winning the match.
You're playing Saebi now, and luckily for you, you know her short term memory, for lack of a better term, leaves something to be desired. She knows you know and you know she knows you know. Repeat. Anyways, fact is, you eke out a victory without Yuha’s assistance.
If your last game was extraordinarily close, this one isn't. Your team comes home with a landslide victory. Yuha, who scored about 95% of her team’s points, isn't bothered because she has a wall full of Go trophies to affirm her. It's that and the teams are about to merge, so she doesn't need to care for "useless teammates" (her words, not yours).
“Share Martin’s Insta with us please,” you cheerfully break the awkward mood at base camp. “I want to see his account.”
“Marzzzx_ is his user,” Saebi grumbles, somehow communicating an underscore aloud. You accordingly add the account, and your request goes through in about ten seconds.
After a beat though, Yuha claps a hand over her mouth in shock. Then she starts giggling and yep, she's just having a moment. “Martin. Help a girl out and tell me who’s the second guy on your latest post?”
You scan the post in question. It's a polaroid of this guy with sporadic blonde highlights and a million dollar megawatt star grin on his face. He's very beautiful. Fair enough reaction.
“That's Juhoon,” Martin generously says. “He's kinda secretive though, so if you wanna make a move, you gotta at least be chill with him.”
“I heard my name,” Juhoon mildly says, spawning in as if summoned.
Martin lets out a shriek. “Fuck! Why’d you scare me like that?”
“Juhoon,” Yuha begins, callously leaving Martin to his miniature heart attack, “I'd move on you, but first – do you like pineapple on pizza?”
“Honoured, and NO,” Juhoon responds. “Absolutely not.”
Yuha sighs tragically. “It’s not meant to be then. Have a good day.”
“You too.” Juhoon solemnly manoeuvres his noob avatar away into the sparse growth of the jungle. You watch him as he coincidentally runs into a scroll, stops in surprise, and carries on. Bless.
“Very efficient,” Seonghyeon comments. “Nice.”
“Holy shit,” you say as you continue to flick through the post. “Who is that on the fourth slide? What's the skin care routine?”
It's this also beautiful man with overgrown side bangs, half grimacing, half smiling. His skin redefines glow. It's radiant. It's unreasonably clear because how does he not have any moles? At all? Or scars? Has this guy actually not suffered from a pimple or…?
“Face masks every night,” Seonghyeon mildly says. So it's him. “Vitamin C serum. Sunscreen. Genetics.”
“Always genetics,” Jiyu sighs, who's come back with a couple seconds to spare.
“Jiyu, of all the people in this game, you do NOT need to be complaining about genetics,” Saebi laments. “You are genuinely one of the most-”
“That's enough,” Jiyu says with no room for complaint. “You should be worrying about being eliminated.”
“I forgot about that,” Saebi shamefully says. “Let's… let’s hope for the best.”
The world spins, the forest darkens, and the campfire casts drifting pixels of light across the beach floor. Some place in the distance, Jeff’s elimination ceremony begins.
Hey. At least Beni will have company. At least it's not you on the line!
You head off into the bushes and are immediately met with the glow of a scroll. What. By the time you manage to pinpoint where it is, you have about one whole minute before your time runs out. You dig, for nothing to happen. You dig again in a slightly different position. From the ground comes this False Safety Advantage.
As if on cue, the world deposits you back at base, bright blue skies replacing the black. Yuha, of all people, is on the jury now. Jeff speaks, the teams dissolve, and you're left staring at the blocky avatars of a group of people who are more likely than not praying on your downfall.
Okay. You absolutely need to forge some alliances after this merger.
CONTINUE?
routes (incomplete):
james / martin / juhoon / seonghyeon / keonho
gn!reader. no warnings (i think). ~180 words per member. header from this remainings video.
james
restaurant tycoon and he has fully optimised his restaurant. hundreds by the second. interiors magazine spread worthy
but for some strange reason he keeps visiting your tiny restaurant, sitting down, and ordering food like damn bruh chef jimmy’s moules frites cannot be that good
“ok this is the FIFTEENTH time you've come here what's going on”
“My bad I just like the ambiance”
“WHAT AMBIANCE my restaurant is 2 stars”
“Well like the walls are nice”
even when you close your restaurant down for renovations he's there. in plain sight. lurking. Watch Out
you ask him for tips and he asks how detailed. if you say very detailed prepare yourself for a multi paragraph response. if you say not very detailed well guess what you're getting a multi paragraph response anyway! at least it's all useful bc he put serious work into this game
keeps complimenting your restaurant no matter how bad it is but secretly gets all excited when you compliment his like youuuu really think HIS restaurant is all that? his humble little establishment? aw you shouldn't have
martin
karaoke/talent show and his voice is actually good but no one votes for him at first. even pulls out the acoustic guitar and still ranks last but you give him 5 stars and he loves you.
suspiciously only sings heartfelt love songs…? suspiciously starts random tremolo picking when you're around.....?????? suspiciously enjoys mentioning underground artists a grand total of ten people know about bc his music taste is Niche........????????
even after he gets recognition he randomly joins your games to ask you to listen to him sing “for motivational support”. like ok buddy we are in the middle of eviction notice rn. but at least he'll hype you up in chat for no reason
if you ever leave on him he refuses to sing. he will genuinely stop mid song and wait for you to come back. no amount of hating will make him start again
also if you ever say anything nice to him just know he thinks about it every other minute and he will be begging for more.
“lowk do u actually think im good”
“???? yes you're good”
“nah but fr rlly”
juhoon
99 nights in the forest except he just builds the base (which has absurd structural integrity btw) and leaves you to do all the hunting even though he's better than you. he just does what he wants bc it's more fun that way
runs the campfire cooking meticulously. meat is fried and laid out like a buffet display. will deliver food if you need it bc god forbid you try eating some berries. not on his watch!
manages to complete the entire kidnapping quest by himself whilst you're off getting bear pelts or whatever. def can solo the wolf den things. probably cares about hitboxes and fps and mouse sensitivity. jukes all the zombies when they come and invade
secretly enjoys reviving you bc it means you spectate him woahhhhh who said that
also a purist about getting all the badges in games so you will have to 100% with him
“Ye ill make a biofuel generator first” “Wait lemme find more ammo tho” “Damnnnn watch out a bear is behind you dont die”
seonghyeon
you type abc for family in chat in adopt me and he immediately abcs. ignores everyone else who tries to join in and takes the fake family very seriously
gives you golden apples. “u sick? u should get ur own next time.” (does not let you get your own golden apples.) ensures you're first at the camp for the tents the showers the everything. you can literally afk and he'll do all the work but he will give you silent treatment afterwards bc that's betrayal
he sees you playing with your friends and gets sulky bc whyyyyy did you not invite him
too good for trade value sites bc he knows what's good and what's not. will drive a scathingly stingy hard bargain on every single trade but constantly thinks lowkey wouldn't it be cute if he gave you his other neon shadow dragon.... so you two would be...... Matching........... and then he pinches himself NO he can't be moving like this. and then he randomly gives you a fly potion and refuses to take it back like ? make up your mind
keonho
horror game medley but it goes wrong because this guy refuses to do Anything. unless you're actually terrified. then he steps up. but otherwise he is dead weight
he screams louder than you and at every single jumpscare. he's not even scared after a while he's just screaming because it's “funny”
“can you go first i’m scared”
“no you're not”
“yes i am. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. see that’s proof”
mimic fanatic. spams you every other day to hop on. he's played it an exorbitant amount of times he's genuinely just doing it for the love of the game
has the most horrendous mic ever btw but the most insane pc build. crystal clear graphics for everything. boy you do not need all that for roblox horror
gets kind of pedantic about reading all the lore. inspects everything like he’s getting paid for it. good at puzzles when he's NOT FOOLING AROUND like he figures out the library mechanic in doors insanely quickly and beats the room first try
he will leave you out in the corridor with no closet and sacrifice you though #sorry
You're on your midnight walk when you come across....a turtle?
𖤓˚࿔ Genre: Fluff, humour, crack au
𖤓˚࿔ Pairing: nonidol!Juhoon x fem!reader
𖤓˚࿔ Warnings: Curse words
𖤓˚࿔ WC: 1254 words
"Wait guys, where's Choco?"
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
Y/N POV:
The cool breeze whistles through the thick branches of the trees that line the path, making the leaves chime rhymically. Y/N, with her wired earplugs in, is blasting Ocean Grove in her eardrums as her feet skip across the concrete pavement. The midnight coldness is finally creeping in, causing Y/N to further shrivel into her wool jumper.
Midnight walks were and always will be Y/N's favourite pastime. She knows that they aren't exactly safe, but until the day she gets kidnapped, she will continue to stroll in the void of night.
Today had been too long a day. Two back-to-back exams, who thought that was a good idea? Then a fight with her mother as her feet stepped into the vicinity of the house. "Y/N, you need to focus on school. I saw your report card. This is unacceptable; you're staying in and finishing whatever you have due tonight."
But alas, Y/N is soaking in the brittleness of the winter wind, letting the frigidness prickle her skin. The Han River is slowly moving beside her, as if time were infinite. Travelling through her own thoughts, Y/N's eyes wander endlessly, picking apart the darkened buildings, the overgrown roots, the rusted fence, and a small turtle peeking its head through the railings.
Wait.
A what? Y/N abruptly halts in the middle of the footpath.
A turtle...and it's about TO JUMP INTO THE RIVER.
Without a second thought, Y/N sprints to the ledge where the turtle is leisurely inching itself towards its ensured death. Kneeling onto the ground, the rough concrete meeting her back, she cautiously scoops the turtle into her hands. Cupped in the palm of her hands, clearly frightened by the sudden movement, the turtle scurried in a panicked state.
"Chill turtle, I just saved your life. At least thank me." At that moment, Y/N noticed a miniature tag wrapped around the turtle's neck. In tiny writing, it said: "Choco", then a string of barely legible numbers
Who lets their turtle run free? What is she going to do now? It's too late to bring it to a shelter, and if she brought it back home, her mother would end her life. Y/N whipped out her phone while carefully balancing the turtle in one hand, hoping this mystery number would be the solution.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
JUHOON POV:
"AIRBALL!" Martin yells at the top of his lungs as the basketball scrapes itself on the rim of the basket.
"Shut up" Playfully sweeping the sweat droplets off his forehead, Seonghyeon gives Martin a shove before locking back into the game.
Midnight Basketball has become a ritual for these boys. After a hard school day at work with no schoolwork being completed, they would drag themselves, in the dead of night, onto the courts to release any tensions that had built up. Occasionally, Keonho and Martin would make too much noise, causing the neighbours to verbally complain, so now, all five have bad reputations in this area.
Tonight, the wheel of names decided to place the two tallest players, Martin and Juhoon, together while the three musketeers, Keonho, James, and Seonghyeon, are battling them. However, more importantly, Juhoon reasoned that tonight is the perfect time to bring out his pet turtle, Choco, for some fresh air.
Before the game, Juhoon places Choco in a patch of grass adjacent to the courts, making sure the turtle is illuminated by the dull street lamp at all times.
Nearing the end of the game, the score stood delicately at 90-90, with a mutual agreement that the next point wins. "HERE GIVE IT HEREEEEE", Keonho screeches at the top of his lungs to James, who is currently being body-blocked by Martin's 190cm stature.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" James swiftly dashes to the side, jebaiting Martin in the process, as he dribbles down the court. Looking up to the sky, the ball escapes James' grasp, gliding through the air before making contact with the netted goal.
Cheers erupt from Seonghyeon and Keonho, James proceeds to taunt Martin, and Juhoon walks to the sidelines while shaking his head in disappointment. He honestly just wants to go home after the loss. So Juhoon snatches his phone off the bleachers and begins to walk towards the patch of grass, where Choco is probably chewing on a piece of grass.
"Wait, guys, where's Choco?"
"Bro, I don't know, it ain't my turtle"
"Okay, stop playing. I wanna go home, give Choco back"
"We're not", the other four say in chorus as Juhoon stands with his hands on his hips at the grass patch where Choco was last seen an hour ago. He might've been too engrossed in the game to notice that a whole 60 minutes had passed, just a slight oversight right? A turtle can't travel that far.
The four run over after receiving Juhoon's deafening silence, not the usual Juhoon silence but the something is very wrong silence.
"What happened? Is Choco....gone?" James cautiously questions Juhoon while examining the shell-shocked facial expression plastered on his face.
"It's okay bro let's look around, that thing is slow anyways" Martin perks up and starts to rummage around the bushes, signalling the others to join. So for the next 45 minutes, the five guys trail around the basketball courts, shining their iPhone flashlights into the darkened shadows of the surrounding greenery. Juhoon is down on his knees, jeans digging into the dirt as he prays to spot Choco's scaly exterior.
"Goddamnit" Juhoon whispers under his breath as he looks back to the group who have basically given up at this point.
"What's the plan now?" Asks Seonghyeon
"I don't know." Juhoon replies in a short manner. He has run out of ideas.
However, as if the universe can sense his suffering, his phone buzzes in his hand. A message from an unknown number.
"Oooo is a girl texting goodnight?" Keonho teases as the group huddle themselves around Juhoon.
"Can you shut up? Thanks." As Juhoon opens the text, his heart is submerged in a wave of belief. Someone has found Choco. His feet start to trek forward, leaving the group behind as he speed-walks to the spot indicated by the mysterious number.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
Y/N POV:
After 20 minutes of waiting and trying to keep Choco in place, a figure started to emerge from the shadow with a light jog.
"Hello. I'm here to collect Choco"
"Wow, finally, any time now," Y/N murmurs under her breath before flashing Juhoon a weak smile.
"Sorry?" Juhoon questions as he scoops Choco into his hands.
"nothing."
"You out here alone? Juhoon btw."
"Y/N. Why you asking?"
"Damn, can't be thoughtful these days." Juhoon jokingly rolls his eyes before awkwardly chuckling.
"Just want to clear my head."
"Worth risking your life for? Wanna join us for basketball?"
"Us....as in you and Choco?" Y/N tilts her head while a baffled expression paints over her face.
"Yeah, my turtle can play basketball. No, with my friends."
"Oh hell nah. Is this how kids thank people these days?"
Was Y/N really about to follow this random guy who has a pet turtle? Like seriously, who has a pet turtle? But something more powerful than her conscience takes over as she nods her head in agreement.
The walk back to the basketball courts is awkward, to say the least. No one can think of anything to say, so Y/N stares off into nothingness, and Juhoon just gawks at Choco to avoid eye contact.
snowghoul
yousharknotpass
andulkaphoto
pixelskylines
vaporwave
prguitarman