Wandering Stars

Here to blast whatever feelings come to mind

[sunnysideshades]

Tik Tok.. Boom

I can see and feel the good in him

Who am I to ruin him? Fuck up a good thing cause I have no reciprocation

Watching from the inside, knowing he's not my guy but pushing those feelings aside cause I know I can’t look him in the eyes….

So no matter how hard, I put on this facade

It's easier than cutting the strings to his heart

I long for the day that he instead tears me apart

I am in quicksand, waiting for someone or something to grab my hand; it's the other half of me. I can’t be saved until I am brave enough to face the ache I fear to create

I hate nothing more than hurting the ones I adore and later in life wondering if it was a mistake

[sunnysideshades]

It's me, not you

He's the one, but not the one for me.

Yes, he's funny and sweet — you know, the kind of man who would sweep you off your feet.

But I come with too much baggage, and it makes me feel incomplete. Am I just afraid to commit to someone who could be good for me?

He's the one, but I’m not HIS one as he deserves, and this thought has been killing my nerves because with this, it is him that I will hurt.

So I stay quiet.

What better way to avoid life's issues than to suffer in silence? This bubble of safety, I assume, is meant to protect him, but it only hurts us both.

He says I am the one he cares for most, and that made me want to vanish like a ghost. Words are stuck in my throat. “Can we talk?”

No, just stay. Wait for him to feel the same so you won't feel bad about speaking the truth.

The only one who is protected by this falsehood is you..

[straeberryshortcake]

I wish I can become the person I see.

as scrolling turn into madness,

my mind thinks that solving the puzzle would be me finding the key.

a key to the version of me, defined by the posters I see.

words I compile turned into a dagger that pierced through my heart.

I searched for the cure, of how I can be free from the insanity I feed

dozens of medication left me numb, but none of them worked for how rotten my mind has become

[straeberryshortcake]

does cigarette help forget?

if so, I would like to try one

maybe it'll force me to get you off my mind

but you don't consume me all the time

it comes in waves, like the blues of the sea

as bright as your eyes

but as inconsolable as the rain

it drowns me every chance it can get

I try to close my eyes, to sleep like it's my last

but as the darkness occupy my mind

whispers of your name comes rushing in vain

and as I see the light from my opened eye

all I can think of is; how to forget all the pictures you've painted inside my head

[sunnysideshades]

Day and Night

I dream of love each night

A stuffed toy to my chest and the sound of peaceful waves filling my room

Somehow my dream always begins with you,

A faceless, nameless man… I fell at the drop of a hat

He pulled me in.. fantasy after fantasy. I remember the way my heart raced, how his touch made my skin ache, and he filled me with such melancholy

This isn't real is it? He embraces me and I smell the sweet scent of cherry Pinewood so how can this be?

We dance outside, his hands on my waist as the rain muffles our giggles, his laugh velvet smooth sent warmth throughout my body

I catch a glimpse of his face but as soon as I wake the memory of him is erased….

I now know that he was never real but I lay my head down and continue to return to that happy place - sunnysideshades ❤️‍🔥

2.28.26

[sunnysideshades]

Vent Post my sunnies!!

It’s kind of crazy though right? Like we were once tight but now you threw me to the side all cause of a fight

It's kind of stupid though right? How I’m still pining for you thinking we’re cool while you're probably watching amused like “look at this fool”

Stuck on what to do cause it’s you I don't wanna lose

Flashbacks to middle school got me paralyzed

Should I roll the dice and ask twice

Like “Are we good?”

Scratch that

Whole situation got me having a panic attack

At this point just

Drop me

Toss me

Go ahead and block me

Cause this anticipation, expectation, and manipulation got me suffocatin’

Lights are dimmin’

Silence is kickin’

Hear the bells ringin’

Shit…. Back at the beginnin’ - tenkaren ❤️‍🔥

2.23.26

[aprilstete]

Always an angel, never a God.

[passionpeachy]

valentine moth

[sunnysideshades]

Okay y'all ima say it.. I WISH I HAD A VALENTINE. I mean gloobness can I have a special someone on this pink day for ONCE (I say as if I don't have some heavy commitment issues) teehee 🤭

[seraphemia]

[sunnysideshades]

I WISH that true love would find me already dammit. Like I want to shower someone in kisses and warm cuddles. Ngl I also want to be cared for genuinely yk? It is so unnecessarily difficult to find or encounter love in this generation y'all. Can't even have a full conversation without it turning into something spicy. We deserve more than that

[sunnysideshades]

I mean shit y'all am I the problem?! Cause why do people keep dipping out of my life with zero warning 🤔, like, honestly, doe, it's crazy asf. AND LEMME TELL YALL I am empathetic and give love without any hesitation so I find this behavior so inconsiderate. Sick and tired of being the third wheel friend. Deadass all I have to look forward to are my hyperfixations of John Price and omgl NOW HOBIE BROWN. The way I would devour him non-stop.… im serious 😮‍💨❣️

[solyxa]

more boyfriend!hobie texts <3

including: a prank where you make "luv" autocorrect to "dumbass in his phone, and a prank where you make him think a mechanic scammed you for air

[sunnysideshades]

A love like this is irreplaceable and hard to find fr fr and I NEED IT

[lucidloving]

Billie Eilish – everything i wanted // Richard Siken, "Meanwhile" // Ada Limón, "Lies About Sea Creatures"

[lucidloving]

Jesse Ball, The Divers' Game // Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights // Richard Siken, Crush // Yelena Moskovich, A Door Behind A Door // vidhic0re on Pinterest (I don't believe they post anywhere else!) // Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena // @lucidloving, "The Last Person to Know You" // Red – Same Disease // Hera Lindsay Bird, "Mirror Traps" // @lucidloving, "You Only Want to Hold My Hand, Right?"

[m00wd]

I believed I was a bad person, and I worried so much about it. But bad people don't worry.

—M00wd

[paper-wounds]

[arylleth]

a coffin is too ordinary for your body, I'd bury you in my own arms

[sunnysideshades]

I wish I could just let go and fall undeniably in love with someone, and find that kind of deep connection that truly makes my heart feel safe