life update
hello my interweb friends! my niece took this photo last feb 2023.
🤍 i am now in a relationship. it's big for me since this is my first real relationship. ever. in my 25 years of existence, she finally got one.
there's a lot of things i dont know about relationships that i thought i knew. as a watcher, i kept telling myself "ah i'll be a strong independent woman, if he cant handle me, then leave" but its really broad and a lot to consider as well. that sort of thinking only condones women who cannot change their problematic behavior just because it's them. in this relationship, it wasn't smooth sailing. we were completely different and he came from a long term relationship and there's a fragment of that history that he brings into our table. all im trying to say, it is so much work. i care about him and seeing him putting in the work makes me strive to be a better partner.
ive been alone ever since. there are times i don't consider him to tag along to my whereabouts or buy him pasalubongs just because i am always with my family. it was a huge adjustment for me - to make time for him. in this ever busy life, it was tough. i tried telling him but my fear of disappointing everyone (yes its a trauma response) is always on the roof. until recently we talked about giving each other a heads up rather than stood us up.
we almost broke up. it was out of accumulated frustrations. :( but alas, we power thru.
right now, we are doing well. a long way to go, yes but i dont mind if its him. hehe