miles morales × gn reader
synopsis: miles doesn’t know how to express himself, so when it accidentally slips when he say’s you’re needy he doesn’t know how to tell you it was a mistake
warnings | just suggestive themes at the end
Beautiful, talented, smart, caring, affectionate, loyal, honest, and needy.
Needy, he called you needy.
Were you needy? You didn't think so, but then again, would you be aware if you were? Maybe he didn't mean it, it was a private conversation. He could've been just venting, ranting about small things.
You've done it before with your friends, it could be harmless.
But, god it hurt. It was so casual coming from his mouth like it was a common thought passing through his mind.
"Hi Miles," You said with a hum, he had just left yours to hang out with his friends when he called.
Silence drifted on the line.
Shuffles, maybe a cough? Murmured voices, nothing too solid.
Laughs breakthrough, you understand it was a buttdial. You were about to hang up but Miles moved around, and suddenly the voices were crystal clear.
"So, how is it with your girl, Morales?"
It's wrong to eavesdrop but if your partner accidentally called while they were about to talk about you, wouldn't you listen, just for a second?
"Eh," You imagine him rubbing at the back of his head,
Notes from future self, don't.
Next time just hang up and go about your day.
You thought everything was great, wonderful in fact. When your friends ask about Miles you take your time on the soapbox preaching, he wants to end the conversation immediately.
Is that a good sign or a really bad sign?
"Just good? Don't tell me she stopped putting out, y'know how chicks are."
"Don't talk about her like that, Chris." Miles came to your defense, point one for Morales. On the other side of the line Logan holds his hands up in surrender, "Didn't mean to poke the bear there, Morales. Get your girl to suck your dick, you'll be fine." Next time you see Chris you'll clobber him. Miles grunts, he's never liked Chris and neither did the friend group. But every group needed that one person that was mutually hated so there was always something to joke and talk about.
"She sucks my dick just fine, you sound jealous. I'm sure she's got a friend that'll pity fuck you."
Your eyebrows furrow, Miles doesn't talk like that. At least not around you, is this what the 'saturday's are for the boys' boys mean when they say locker room talk? Ganke cuts back in, he lights up a joint.
"I'm sure Morales is just fine, he can barely rip himself away from Y/N." He coughs on the smoke between laughs, Miles stays quiet. He's wondering if he should tell his friends this, it's nothing serious and it didn't really bother him, and he didn't want to say anything to you because he knows you'd take offense and stop it, and he'd miss it way too much.
"Yeah, that's kinda the problem." He mumbled it, but he said it and what the fuck did that mean? You couldn't stop now, you pray he doesn't see you're connected to the call.
"Trouble in paradise? Do tell." Ganke offers the joint to Miles, he accepts it and passes it to Logan.
"Sometimes I feel like she's all over me and needs me for everything, I dunno." Miles tugs at his hair, he's not saying it right.
"I think I feel like no matter how much I'm there it's not enough, she's so needy."
You took such a sharp inhale you have to stop breathing to make sure Miles didn't pick up on it. You're reeling trying to look at it from his side, you didn't seem needy, but everyone's idea of needy must be different.
Sure, you do try to extend his visits for as long as possible but that's because some weeks you feel like you don't see him but for a few hours and you're willing to scrape up as much time as possible.
And because you love him. And sure, there have been times you ask him to do things or help you but you love watching him fix things around your apartment and have him take extra time to dote on you. And because you love him.
You want to hang up, you don't want to know why he thinks you're needy. If you do then you'll spiral and question everything you do from here on out. On Miles's end, he pulled his phone out to check to see the time, and if you've texted. His eyes widen at the screen, he feels like he stopped breathing before he whispered a "fuck" under his breath, he looked at the screen and tried to pretend it wasn't real.
It was. Bold and in his face, your saved name and small lettering below it, 'call connected' you've been on the line for six minutes. You heard absolutely everything, in a panic, he hung up the call which was the worst thing he could've done, because now you know he knows, and suddenly you realized that if he thought you were needy you'd show him you weren't.
There is no surprise your boyfriend is pounding on the door.
Not loudly, but constant and quickly, demanding to not be ignored.
Like his six missed calls.
After two straight minutes of his rapping, you finally swung the door open, waiting for him to bombard you with reasons and apologies. He looked surprised. Miles opens and closes his mouth, he doesn't know what to say exactly.
Your eyebrow raises at his silence, "You had forty minutes, four missed calls, seven ignored texts, banged on my door for two minutes, and in all that time you didn't think of one thing to say?"
"I'm sorry?" He looks sheepish, he gave a tiny shrug. Hoping you'll find him cute enough to be let off the hook, like a kid with cookie crumbs around his mouth claiming he didn't know who ate them.
You run your tongue over your teeth and click them, "Yeah, no." You try to swing the door shut but his foot catches it. "Baby," He catches your eyes, his look wet and sad. He looked remorseful for his words but didn't know what to say.
You know what you want to say, you want to tell him that it hurt your feelings, that you didn't know you were being that way, why he didn't tell you, why he felt that way, a million things ran through your mind.
But that would make him right. Needy about answers, about why he would think that. That would prove him right, and you weren't needy, you didn't think you were but anything he might deem as needy wouldn't be done anymore.
Miles pulls his head back, he's unsure if you know what you said.
You nod, "Yeah, sure, I understand, you were just venting, and I shouldn't have been listening."
"But that doesn't make it okay, because if you did that to me I'd be hurt."
But I wouldn't do that, I only praise you around my friends.
"Yeah, well, fuck around and find out, you know."
It feels off, this is why Miles didn't want to tell you anything.
He knew you'd pull away from him, you already are.
"Wanna watch a movie? I heard there's -" He tries to move around your shoulder to come in but you move to block him entirely. He looks at you half confused, half offended.
You didn't need him. He had plans with his friends and you weren't about to prove them all right and have Miles come running back to you, like he always does, and try to fix things.
This time Miles wouldn't fix things, you were. It was clear what he didn't like, so you'll stop doing it.
"Don't you have plans tonight?"
Miles snorts, "Since when do you care? You always beg me to stay with you anyways."
Is that one? One of the things that made him think you were needy?
"I won't beg tonight then, go have fun."
Miles regrets everything about the past two hours, he should've stayed when you asked the first time. "I have more fun with you, lemme in." Miles tried to push past but you were adamant he leaves.
"Go smoke some weed with Ganke, come back when you have the munchies. I'll make cookies." You give him a sarcastic smile. But Miles shakes his head, "I don't wanna hang out with them right now, I want to hang out with you." He tries to move past you for the third time, you put a hand on his chest to push him back.
"No, you don't. You feel guilty and want to prove something to me or yourself or whatever, and I don't need Logan thinking if you don't grovel at my feet then I'll stop sucking your dick."
Miles jumps in immediately, "That was fucked up, and I know I said some shitty things too but I didn't want him thinking I wasn't getting laid." His eyes blow up, and he moves his hands around, "Not that that matters! Cause I'd love you no matter how much we had sex, but we are having sex, and he-"
You hold up a hand to stop him, "I don't know where you think that's going but it's nowhere good. You're just digging a deeper hole."
Miles voice is panicked, "There's a hole?" You sigh and clasp your hands, you point them at his chest. "I'm not mad and I don't need you here, I also don't need you trying to make a point about not meaning it. You said it and you meant it, don't lie to my face. Either man up or go back to your friends."
You were right, this is going nowhere good and Miles knows it. "This shouldn't be a fight, right?" You shrug, "I dunno."
Miles pleads with you, he wants anything, something he can work off of. "I'm sorry, I really am." He reaches for your hands and you let him hold them, he rubs his thumbs over the back of your hands.
"Are you sorry you said it or sorry you got caught?"
Miles doesn't know how to respond yet, he doesn't know how to be honest without offending you and he doesn't want one thing to change. "I just..." He groans and tilts his head back, "Can I please come inside?" You take him in and decide it's okay for him to enter, your head looks at your roommate's door to make sure it's still closed.
Miles flops on the couch and slaps the coffee table, you take a seat where he called and waited. "You're not needy. Not at all, and don't think I'm just saying that because I think that's what you want to hear. Needy is the wrong word, it makes you seem annoying or unbearable and I promise you're my most favorite person in the world, so it's not that."
You whisper your words, your thumbnail being nibbled on.
"I don't even know!" Miles stresses his point, you can see how upset he is, that he not only said it but couldn't place it.
"I just think maybe," He groans, he doesn't like being vulnerable. He's the strong one in the relationship, it wasn't very manly to cry over loving your girlfriend too much.
Miles rubs his cheek and shrugs, "I don't know." Your eyes narrow, "Liar." Miles folds his cards, the only thing he has to lose here is you, and he will if he doesn't be honest. But it's a whole new level to him, a layer he's about to peel back, one that isn't so light and happy. It's a side very few people have seen, he's scared to show it to you.
You look at him oddly, "We are?"
You're confused but lead him to your bedroom. Miles didn't know how to tell you he was about to cry, but when he did he didn't want your roommate seeing it.
You wait for Miles's lead when you reach your room, he pushes you towards your bed for you to take a seat, he stands between your legs and cups your face. Miles tilts your head up until he's looking down into your eyes, he looks troubled. A small tired grin hugged his lips, "Hi baby." He says softly.
"Hi, Miles." You whispered soft, his thumb brushed your bottom lip. He takes in a deep breath like he's remembered the task at hand. "I'm about to tell you something I haven't told anyone else, and it's a different Miles than you're used to." Miles presses a kiss to your forehead and steps back, this time he takes a seat at your desk chair.
"I don't think you're needy. I don't even know what to say, cause like, fuck... I don't, look, Spider-Man has a lot of people that need him, right? And he works hard all day and has no one to share it with, but I do. I get to tell you about my shit days, and you'll patch me up and I'll pretend to leave just so you can ask me to stay over, and honestly? It feels nice to have someone who needs Miles and not Spider-Man for once."
You try to speak but he stops you, he looks like he's about to cry.
"I look forward to it too much. I fucking sit here and play pretend, like it's a chore to spend time with you, and you always ask me how I do it so well and I'm just so used to hiding it. I'm so used to hiding this lonely feeling like nothing is enough, and then I had you."
Miles shakes his head slowly, he wipes at his nose. Tears drop casually with every few blinks as he speaks, you want to hold him to you forever.
"I didn't have to do anything because you did, you made all the decisions I wanted to in the first place. I love when you ask me to fix things, and when you want me to spend every second with you when you want me to skip a night out when you get me to stay over for the third night in a row."
Miles wipes his eyes, sniffs and breathes out shakily, this is what it's about, right?
"Baby, you aren't needy. I am."
"And you projected that on me." It wasn't a question.
He laughs, and a tear drips down his nose, he wipes it away.
"I've never felt so needed and wanted in my life, and I am so terrified I'll fuck it up and lose it all."
You'd never do that, if the relationship ends it won't be on your terms. Finally, you stand and sit on his lap, he welcomes you and for the first time, you notice how tight he is.
He's always wanted to hold you, forever stuck in his grasp. You straighten the collar on his shirt and fix his hair, his eyes shiny from his tears.
"Could you, could you fuck it all up and lose it?"
You press your forehead against his, "But I need you too much."
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