it's jaune

just a deracinated mind | 20+ | she/her | çav bella | ⚢

[quezify]

look behind you, asshole.

[quezify]

twinninggg

[quezify]

you're in the wroooong basement.

[homunculus-argument]

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

[thekijs]

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

[weaselle]

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

[postcard-from-the-past]

View of the Hạ Long Bay, Vietnam

French vintage postcard

[alphacrone]

pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

[ookiedawg]

cuteness overload

[imdrinkingmiso]

they hate me because the years of memory loss has purified my mind

[tonyzaret]

Ok let me get this straight: you cruelly remove my primary olfactory apparatus then smugly hold it between your fingers saying “got your nose!” and are now expecting to be forgiven because it was “satire”????

[pigeon-princess]

A couple of new freaks I've been cooking up for a medieval horror comic I've been developing called Gallant. This duo consists of a monk contracted by the church to hunt devils and a very strange knight who seems to be following him around.

[offshoreoilrig]

Fuck a new substack was published proving the robins chirping outside your window at 6am hired controversial PR firm Chaotic Good to run a subtle micro influencer campaign pushing their new song

[vintagewildlife]

White egrets "kissing" as part of their mating ritual By: Tokutaro Tanaka From: Life Nature Library: Animal Behavior 1965

[polari]

if i see one more concubine bring her straight eunuch to pride

[beatlesweatles]

Evil Shakespeare be like: MacDeath

[beatlesweatles]

[dampfnudeldove]

shot in the HEAD. and you're to blame. You are not good. At dart game

[archivearchangelica]

2010

[389]

Michael Pierzynski, 2007