water breathing loser found on tumblr (again)

the asexual freak in your sheets

[sunvili]

⋆ ִֶָ ๋⋆ fish's fishtank ᝰ.ᐟ⋆˚࿔

╰┈➤ this place is my therapist's office just its me in a room alone with a mirror while talking to myself, welcome to the fishtank? i guess? aquarium..?

⭐️ my strawpage

⭐️ commissions

⭐️ s/h reduction/recovery tips (im recovering im not on shblr)

💫 bug pics and more @villainousweevil

🫧 it gets a little silly here🫧

>-;;⁠;⁠;€ᐷ hi, im fish or cosmo or whatever else i'm already known as on this website, ive been on here for like 5 years and ive lost count of how many accounts ive had. i'm mentally ill, kiind of a faggot, and a little bit of a failure but i promise im actually just super awesome with amazing aura underneath all that..

>-;;⁠;⁠;€ᐷ i'm 19 years old, and i'm in university to study psychology although so far i suck at uni, and i'm diagnosed with add, depression, anxiety, and whatever else im unaware of that may be deeply buried in my medical files

>-;;⁠;⁠;€ᐷ i mainly post about random things on here, my interests are kind of a side topic but i'll still reblog about them.. (i like tadc, tfc, arcane, persona 3-5, class of 09, zeno remake, creepypasta,some alice oseman content, and several random webtoons)

>-;;⁠;⁠;€ᐷ i'm taken by my awesome girlfriend @nikaniiix. know she's awesome cool pretty and super amazing okay. trust.

>-;;⁠;⁠;€ᐷ i'm in recovery for sh/ed and would greatly appreciate not being interacted with on specifically ed centered blogs for my own wellbeing (unless i interact first)

>-;;⁠;⁠;€ᐷ the music i listen to includes pierce the veil, hail the sun, kiltro, violent vira, dance gavin dance, wilt, glass animals, the long faces, flyleaf, depeche mode, the home team, thornapple, circa 40, i monster, my bloody valentine and more (u can see more about my music on my strawpage, i have my music pages linked on it)

>-;;⁠;⁠;€ᐷ i am a practicing witch and sometimes i might post about that, i work with apollo specifically !! ☀️

>-;;⁠;⁠;€ᐷ personality stuff if ur into that, isfp, 4w5, 469 (so4, sp6, sx9) tritype is WRONG btw. im too lazy to go redo it.

>-;;⁠;⁠;€ᐷ heres a dni if you've read this far and care at all about dnis. i do not like people who support gun violence and murder, i do not like people who are proana/sh/harm in general, i hate the trump administration and everything it stands for (transphobia, racism, homophobia, ai, anything else they say im against. the administration is a hiveminded spewing pile of shit.) and uhhm.. yeah. oh also no pedophiles or animal fuckers or rapist supporters or incestous weirdos. i do not care what you do or what you are into or what you are as long as it doesn't harm people or a community and as long as it doesnt feed into harmful behaviors. i also will just block you if i hate you or what you stand for.

(my tags r listed well.. in the tags, if u wanna see anything specific)

[risk-repeater]

this job market is a fucking nightmare

[ryebreadgf]

[unicmagicalkunt]

digital footprint? i have heels on

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[ceruleanheaven]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

[meepcity9]

Your skull is empty & reverberates when tapped

[sunvili]

happy pride month to all of u queer little people trapped inside of my phone

[sunvili]

when i go to send my gf $20 because i feel like it and then remember the usd is worth bullshit rn and i gotta actually send $25 for it to be $20 where she lives

[sunvili]

ive cried about my partner 5 times in the past like 15 hours this is not cool and awesome

[prettyodddefender]

a fever you cant sweat out is so interesting. bc its essentially a kid feeling stuck in their surroundings and a shitty home and teen dating problems and imagining a fake world to live in but ur so nihilistic and jaded already that even ur fantasyland sucks. and pretty odd is the grief is never ending but so is the love. swag city.

[sunvili]

oh im nauseous oh this is evil

[sunvili]

work is weird because ive used my name for 6 years now and i dont use my name at work. whenever i introduce myself i stutter as if i dont know my own name, i briefly pause to remember who i used to be and i put on the mask of a being that isnt myself anymore for my safety, to not be ostrichized for having work. i thought it'd be fine, i could handle not using my name for the first time in years, but i dont handle it well. being her again is exhausting. i have on the mask of a woman that isn't myself. i don't look like me anymore in the mirror, and my name isnt mine anymore either. i feel sick.

[sunvili]

cw in tags

today i saw you again. you looked the same as you did 3 years ago, shitty box black hairdye and the same dark flannel. your mother even looks the exact same, i hope that woman is well. when i walked past you in the grocery store today, i felt the clash. it felt a bit like a tarot card i have, its these two birds with wood sticks attached to their feet flying in opposite directions but they clash together. you felt heavy. i dont particularly care that you feel heavy, but you should learn to keep that energy to yourself, your misery seeps out and leaks onto the floor like an oil spill. i hated stepping in it, its consuming. i remember you pretty well, i remember your hands on me, i remember the terrible texture of your chapped lips from that night where you wanted to lower our rice purity scores and didn't let me go to sleep until i kissed you. i remember the look of you shirtless, its a fucked up image in my mind though. you look like you're going to kill me, and theres these black strings coming out from the middle of your chest. i didn't see your face today, i just knew it was you though. i wonder if you feel guilt, regret, if you've finally moved past it. does it haunt you the way it haunts me? i blamed myself for the longest time. it was my fault for liking you, thats what id tell myself. that it was my fault you wanted to kiss me so badly. it was my fault when you'd tell me you wanted to make out with me and i thought it was a joke because you said that to all our other friends. its been 3 years and i can still feel your hands. its been 3 years and when i remember you i have to cover my body up to not feel sick. 3 years and i still scrub my lips until they bleed sometimes. i dont let anyone touch me anymore, you were the last person that i allowed to do that. my closest friends aren't allowed to hug me because physical contact has made me sick for years. you make me feel sick to my core, my chest has been heavy since that walk past you. i know you wont see this, im okay with that. i hate you and i miss you because you were my best friend. even with that, i'd never forgive you. i wondered about you, how you were doing, you disappeared. i guess not completely though since the universe delivered me an answer where i could see you. i've moved on with my life even if what you did haunts me. even if to this day i still question if it was my fault, if im wrong to feel the way i do about this, if it isnt what i remember it to be. i still blame myself sometimes. it doesn't hold me back though, i dont forgive you but i really hope you move on one day. maybe you'll find the girl of your dreams and delusions from back then.

[sunvili]

i understand how a beached whale feels right now on a spiritual level

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich