interstellar @supenova-blog1 - Tumblr Blog

jean jackets and suede shoes. notes on paper, the rhythm is the sound of some voice that I don't know anymore. seeing through glass doors, reading the words on skin like pages from a book from many years back. with every turn that feeling goes and grows, maybe promise me something that isn't in between the lines, that I don't hide behind my hair or cross the street a block early, because I know every step closer only means two steps farther.

jean jackets and suede shoes; khj

let the moon finally cast a shadow on my sunken face. I’ve felt the fervor of a thousand suns all over; I’m tired. the smitten ones laugh and talk like light blossoms carried away by the coming of the next day and the foreshadowed night. they play in fields where sin runs deeper than the roots of the tree by the courtyard. hello, bud. you’re bright and I can’t help but look away. but you’re not welcome here. perhaps you’d be good for me, for my crippled mind, seeing nothing but the shades of grey flooding every single crack in the sidewalk. stone covers my tears, trickles down like waterfalls, however— these colors are dull. blacks are now yellows and the violence ringing in my ears deafens with every petal that falls. please take my apology because your eyes have a color worth a million words but I still smile at you blankly. I’ve fasted the taste of pink in my mouth and I do not miss it. I’ve lost the feeling of the letters that belong to you in my mouth but I miss it.

what the, spring? khj

seeing you in front of me laughing, smiling— is hearing the words "I don't love you" all over again, and again, and again.

drinking in front of you; khj

I remember seeing you in a new light because I thought all we were was darkness.

will it stay like this? khj

I’ve loved you through different universes and different stories, and all the while, I know your eyes look at me the same.

you won’t change, will you?

If I deny it, I’m lying. If I admit it, I lose.

when they ask me if I love him; khj

take me back to a night where it was just you and me screaming— pounding on my heart, where my ribs feel like they can’t take it anymore until they burst. were the lights dim? were they shining against the cracks of your skin? I remember them all; and your eyes are an ocean I would rather drown in. your heart beats on a different wavelength than mine, and I would give anything to be able to pull on your heartstrings until when you’re alone. you can remember the tug of my hands, how we fit into each other, a pocket of shadows against all these people. you and I were made to love each other. but why is it that I find myself imbibing poison, sleeping into oblivion; and I’m thinking alone: where are you now that I need you?

I was and am always there for you; khj

thank you for never wanting me, for you know I will never want anything more than what you never did.

us, I wanted us; khj

I don’t think I can ever hate you no matter how much you don’t love me.

I'm trying to substantiate it; khj

he’s got a laughter so bright; raw, hotblooded, and proud. and sometimes I can’t help but decide that this is my favorite sound.

what’s your favorite sound? khj

one too many times I give you the power to turn me cold. I guess that's all I've ever known. but the letters of your name sit in my mouth in a way no other word has— they ache and prick at my tongue, and you know the cold keeps me from saying how much I want you. but the sound of your laugh itches my soul, and I'd rather burn like cigarette smoke than to admit that this— that you—are a problem. you're a fucking problem, and I just need to figure you out.

khj

I think you and I together still exist somewhere— and I search for that; be it on your couch, at the bar up the street, at the intersection where we used to meet. I think you and I together still exist perhaps— I’ve been looking in the wrong places. perhaps it’s sometime in a different life, a different galaxy, where stars would be born again and so would we.

timelines; khj

I dream of ice and pillars of trees and for once I believed that you would rescue me; take flight— he said, there is no other way out. soon the trees just became monsters to me, and he told me he was waiting for the right goddamn moment to show me that monsters aren’t always what they seem.

except you were exactly as you seemed; khj

you are the wind that chills my cheeks. you’d think of me weak, to not understand how you take a little bit of my heart away with every word out of your mouth. you haunt me; the beacon of light in your eyes that I pray to escape from. I’ve opened the window to my soul for you to look into and now I realize you’ve never even seen me. I hope you can see yourself in the sins that you’ve committed and “sorry"s you’ve never said— you’re the wind that I walk against; I know my path now, and you won’t be at the end of it.

please let me leave; khj

I will prove it to you, I will be your plot twist. I am the hurricane and I will fight against a thousand suns. the stars are chanting my name, and I can just hear them scream. you’ve left me behind long enough, so watch me burn your words down. and I live for when this tires you out until defeat. the heart has been deserted so long, I forgot the taste of rain. but I want the moon and further. I will finally hold my dreams in my own hands. there are bigger things out there.

I'm cutting myself away from you; khj

do you think time is linear? I don't. because it just means that in sometime, somewhere, you and I are together.

time; khj

into the night, I scream blood from my lungs and ink from my skin and silence is all I want to know. I want the void of stars and space to be the blood that fills my veins.

khj

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