“I can’t do this without you. I’m not fully here, a part of me is still in that ambulance”
Dr. Max Goodwin to his soulmate Dr. Helen Sharpe.
After watching this scene for the 30th time, It really struck me that Helen’s mere presence is probably the only thing other than Luna’s existence that is keeping Max together. The reason I say her presence is because at this time he and Helen are not communicating like they used to. Notice she said “you won’t talk to me,”. She’s not lying. He’s avoiding her, most likely for a myriad of reasons.
My top three theories is that 1. he knows that if he’s around her long enough he’s going to really grieve and ultimately let Georgia go, which would open the door to possibly forming a romantic relationship with Helen, because let’s face it at this point Max already knows he loves her, deeply. This leads to my next theory.
2. Max feels guilty. Notice in episode 2x01 he left Georgia’s side to look for Helen and when he came back she was already dead and on top of all of that Max and Helen had already begun an emotional affair of some sort. They were both sharing things that were way too intimate for “just friends” and colleagues to share with each other. They shared their hopes, dreams, and their fears with each other. Granted, it was not intentional and both, particularly Helen, had tried to avoid and deny it, but the love they share is so deeply rooted in their spiritual beings it was almost as if they had been waiting their entire lives to find each other, so like a runaway train it could not be stopped. Again, Max knows he loves Helen, but he is still grieving Georgia. So he’s not ready to fully admit that to himself or her but he feels guilty because his wife died unexpectedly during a time when he was unintentionally and unequivocally falling in love with another woman.
My third point comes from Max himself; he wanted to spare Helen. Go with me on this y’all. I think Max and Helen’s connection is so strong and seamless that their emotions feed of of each others’ and blend in a way. He doesn’t share his current feelings with her because he doesn’t want to expose her to his pain which would in turn cause her pain. Knowing that she has already experienced losing a loved one, he doesn’t want to hurt her all over again, even if that means sacrificing his own healing process by suffering alone.
He told her “I don’t want you to feel this, I don’t you to experience this.”
Max acknowledges that its not fair because Helen didn’t do anything to deserve his coldness. But, similarly to how she decided to triage their relationship last season in episode 17 without his permission, I think he decided to compartmentalize his grief so she won’t be negatively affected by it. Problem is that meant shutting Helen out, which won’t last.
I said all that to say this. Even though Max is battling his grief and seems determined to do it alone, the fear of potentially losing Helen being at that hospital with this whole toxic hip replacement situation scared the mess out of him to the point where he was forced to confront her and peel back some of the layers he had been shielding himself in for the previous two episodes.
Because Helen knows him oh so well, she called in out on emotionally manipulating her when he finally showed some genuine emotions after being closed off to her for a while. Which in a sense I believe he was, but only because he was desperate and panicking at the thought of not having her presence on a daily basis.
So, I’m glad that Helen stuck up for herself and her patient despite Max’s pleas, one thing about our girl is she will check someone that needs to be checked. But I’m even happier that she expressed to Max that whenever he was ready she would be there for him for ALL OF IT, meaning the good, the bad, the ugly, the highs and lows, ebbs and flows, low-key sounds like wedding vows if you ask me.
Did y’all see how relieved and proud Max was while watching Helen’s interview?
If the show continues on this trajectory, I predict that the Sharpwin fandom is in for a beautiful, honest, timeless love story, I cannot wait!
This episode was so good and had me all in my Sharpwin feelings, so I just wanted to share my thoughts.
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