More or Les Me

Leslie - liberal American politics, tulips, recipes, fic

[liberalsarecool]

Yellen is really saying we can absolutely afford to BORROW money for another war.

Banks love borrowed money for wars.

[liberalsarecool]

Every accusation is a confession. #Projection

[thats-entirely-too-much-tuna]

the ao3 lyric video strikes again

[speakswords]

THIS HAD NO BUSINESS BEING AS FUCKING HILARIOUS AS IT WAS

[liberalsarecool]

Language matters.

[soberscientistlife]

[fairycosmos]

parents are so crazy because they can say the most fucked up shit to you when your brain is forming and it sets the tone for your whole adult mind set and then they forget about it the next day

[thedankmemes]

[whosoldherout]

[liberalsarecool]

Misogynists are the weakest.

[loveyourownsmiilee]

Another thing I have to say about the whole Buddie or “lack thereof” of last nights episode is that you need to understand the vast difference in what was trying to be said. The best example is comparing it to Eddie getting shot.

Before Eddie got shot, what was the main theme that we were all supposed to be honed into? Oh something about following his own heart, not Christopher’s. And that got Eddie confused but thinking about the potential meaning behind Carla’s words. That’s why the way he was shot was filmed so romantically. He gets shot in front of the one person who loves him unconditionally. They’re the only two people in that moment and you can see with the way Eddie’s eyes immediately look for Buck’s, that this is meant to be seen in a romantic aspect.

To further prove that theory, you see them holding eye contact before Eddie falls down. You see Eddie reaching out for Buck, literally following who his heart wants, but is just shy from touching him. Buck gets to him and saves him and even when Buck gets Eddie to safety, Eddie’s main concern is if Buck is hurt. It’s so heavily romantically coded that there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind what is happening there.

It further cements that fact when Eddie wakes up and asks for Buck. He’s asking for who his heart wants. That is why we are only the two of them in Eddie’s room and no one else. Because the theme of that episode was romantic relationships. He’s also the one reassuring Buck in the end, using his given name, that he’s not expendable. And he, in his own little Eddie Diaz way, confesses his feelings by giving Buck his heart in the form of his son.

When you take a look at “In Another Life”, it is completely different. It’s not romantically coded in any sense, rather heavily family coded. It’s meant to focus on Buck and his relationships with those he considers family. We saw glimpses of that foreshadowing in the episode before where we see the reappearance of his parents and that one on one with Bobby. So of course his family members, both biological and chosen, are going to be the ones who are predominately featured in this episode. Eddie isn’t family like everyone else is. He’s something completely different and because this wasn’t an episode with romantic themes, of course he wasn’t heavily featured in it.

We see that with the appearance of everyone but Eddie in his coma dream. We also see Buck waking up to his sister and parents in the hospital room. When Eddie eventually visits him, he does so with their team, not alone. Because if he was alone, then we’d be focusing on something that was clearly not meant for this episode. Eddie and Buck aren’t platonic and that’s the entire point of this episode. They’re more than that and if this was a romantically coded episode, then of course we would get more of Eddie’s presence. Yes he is his best friend, but are they really “best friends”? Because I would consider them something more than that and I believe this episode did a wonderful job in establishing just that with just how hard Eddie was grieving his partner. This was meant to focus on Buck’s relationships with his family, not with his Eddie. We’ll get to that soon.

[moreorlesme]

Yes, all of this.  And also:

“Wherever you are...wherever you are right now...” And then coma!Chris asks for help finding his dad.  He means Buck.  He doesn't know where Buck is and needs help finding him.  

[randomwordgeneratorr]

[jampai]

[twelvemonkeyswere]

[jadorexjaii]

….

[growthandsecrets]

I have literally never been so personally dragged by a post…

[thememedaddy]

[raymusterio]

Last year, I was talking with my mom about parenting and she said "well at least I never made you feel like I didn't love you"

I proceeded to tell her about a time when I was a kid and she was yelling, screaming, and throwing things, and I said "I love you" in that small timid kid voice and she said

"well I don't love you right now"

Our relationship was never the same after that and she didn't even remember that it happened.

[bard-irl]

The axe forgets but the tree remembers

[patroclusdefencesquad]

"i remember the days when you were rarely seen without a book in your hand" father you don't understand you STILL rarely see me without a book in my hand it's just that the book now comes on my phone and is usually Two Blorbos Experiencing The Same Situations Over And Over in an attempt for me to feel something inside

[bitchycode]

January was a tough year but we made it

[anthonycrowleymoved]

hey since i’m occasionally giving out adult advice. anyone wanna know my very adult and very boring and very sensible suggestion for grief gifts for friends and family when someone close to them dies

[anthonycrowleymoved]

alright. this is shamelessly stolen from my godparents when they did this when my grandma passed about ten years ago, and since then i’ve been on both sides of this and it’s surprisingly thoughtful and useful. this is particularly important when people are like, in charge of funeral prep, but anyone who just heard someone close to them just died is gonna be in a certain headspace, so it probably works regardless. people are gonna be sending cards and flowers and other very nice, but ultimately useless gifts.

don’t do that. go to the grocery store and order one of those deli party platters. the ones with like, four different kinds each of meats and cheeses, maybe some sides, and veggies, and bread, and condiments. get the vegetarian version if you know they’re vegetarians. whatever. you know better than i how many people are gonna be eating it, but guess maybe, like, four day’s worth of food.

because, here’s the thing. cards and flowers are very nice, and remind you that you’re in people’s thoughts. but you know what you just. don’t even want to think about when someone dies? making dinner. going to the grocery store. ordering takeout. whatever. you don’t want to have to think about food. you just want to eat in between planning a funeral and working through your grief.

without getting too into it, when my grandma died, we were thrown for a loop. and we ate nothing but what was on that goddamned deli platter for days. because it was quick and easy and fresh and tasted good and we didn’t have to think about food. and ten years later, i don’t remember those cards or flowers, but i sure as hell remember the deli platter.

so next time someone’s going through something, when a family member or close friend just passed. go to your nearest grocery store, and if you can, walk a deli platter over to their place. as soon as you can after you hear. they may look at you weird when you hand it to them, but trust me, in the long run they’re gonna thank you.

[ralfmaximus]

^^This

Food helps. I don’t remember the cards & flowers. What I DO remember is the amazing lasagna somebody made me. It fed me for a week during a time when I was simply incapable of finding or preparing meals. The deli platter is an interesting twist on that and I’m filing that away for sure.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

honeybaked ham delivers

[jakey-beefed-it]

When my dad died, everything was a black blur of grief and nobody could even really approach taking basic care of ourselves. A family friend made and brought over a HUMONGOUS batch of jambalaya, and it is basically the chief reason nobody fainted from hunger.

[silvarbelle]

When my father died 18 years ago: I remember that friends and family had flowers delivered and that was nice - but I don’t even remember what kind of flowers or colors.

I remember my mom’s best friend at the time landing on our doorstep with BAGS of groceries that fed us for a couple of weeks.

When my mother died nearly a year ago: I know that a cousin ordered a bouquet of flowers and they were lovely.

What I remember is my mom’s friends landing in my doorstep with bags of groceries that kept me going for a while so I didn’t have to think about feeding myself because I was absolutely lost in a sea of grief and being suddenly Alone and just in a daze of “What the fuck just happened?  Why am I alone?  Where are you?  WHY AM I ALONE?  What do I do now?”

When my body finally DEMANDED I ingest sustenance - I didn’t have to think about it; I just went for the easy stuff and got it done with.

[battlships]

This is why Jews sit shiva. You have to take a week to grieve and have people bring you food and emotional support, it’s honestly something I wish more cultures had. We don’t need flowers we need people to help us hold ourselves together, and sometimes that means just bringing a plate of cheese and crackers so the grieving person doesn’t have to cook.

[intosnarkness]

Yes! If you or the person who is grieving lives in a Jewish area, you can usually find a Jewish deli that offers Shiva Platters.

If it’s a good one, they’ll call the grieving folks and work out what they need and when to make sure they are helping the best way they can.

[seperis]

 My mom and I both work for the state, specifically in IT in different but related areas; almost everyone in our units knew both of us pretty well sometimes for years or decades, either having worked with one or both of us, worked near one or both of us, or in a couple of cases, changed my diapers.

When my dad died, my unit’s condolences were a MASSIVE MASSIVE MASSIVE variety sandwich tray from Jason’s Deli and all the things that hygo with giant sandwich platters (chips, fruit tray, cookie tray, potato salad maybe? some other things, this is like the BIG PARTY PACK or something). I mean, even with me, mom, two sisters, four kids, a BIL, and a sister’s boyfriend, that was five days of food at minimum. Mom’s unit, on the other hand, sent both cash–not loose cash, someone took the time to convert it into practical tens and twenties–and one or two extremely generous Visa cards. 

(I”m ninety-nine percent sure this was a collaborative effort between our units.)

Simple food that required no effort whatsoever even in ‘washing dishes’, just pick up and chew; cash so we’d have that on hand if we needed it without having to go to an ATM or the bank or remember where the debit card is; the Visa gift cards because we work for the state, our names and salaries are not only public knowledge but PUBLISHED IN THE NEWSPAPER EVERY YEAR, and funerals and incidentals are expensive, especially when you don’t see them coming and you’re a public servant.

It was the most intensely practical and also utterly personal help we could have possibly gotten: it was exactly what we needed in exactly the form we needed, and so incredibly kind.  It said “we’re sorry for your loss”, but it also said “we grieve with you”.

Grief is always hard and nothing can really help that, but what they did made living with grief so much easier, and I’ve never forgotten that.

[bringbackgoth]

When my mom lost her babies, the church set up a rotation. Every night a new family would bring us dinner. Grandmothers from the church would come and watch us kids and do our laundry and iron my dads shirts.

The same thing happened when my grandfather died, but mostly just food. Again when my grandmother died.

If a friend or loved one loses a family member, rally your own friends and neighbors to make them casseroles and stews and food. Offer to pick up and do their laundry. Tell them that you don’t care how bad things are, you’d like to come over and do their dishes for them.

[moreorlesme]

When my grandma died, one of my Dad's cousins showed up with bags of toilet paper, tissues, napkins, paper plates, and disposable utensils. She knew the other cousins and Grandma's church ladies had the food covered, so she focused on the incidentals. That was almost twenty years ago, and we all still remember her showing up with those supplies.

[hymnsofheresy]

I think one of the most damaging ideologies towards children is the conviction that having children isn’t a calling but a moral obligation.

[hymnsofheresy]

Not to be a crazy radical or anything, but children deserve to be deeply wanted by their parents.

[hymnsofheresy]

Children shouldn’t be a “stage” in life that everyone is obligated to fulfill; childrearing is not for everyone. More importantly, children shouldn’t be state-enforced punishments for “irresponsible” sexual behavior.

Children are people with thoughts and feelings just like the rest of us. They are conscious of the way people treat them. And they can certainly tell when they are unwanted and/or resented.

[letomcfaceman]

[chaotic-queer-disaster]

[ID: tumblr tags. they are: #reblog #i also dont think its enough to want a child. i think you need to want a teenager and an adult too #my mom wanted a baby. when i was too old to pronounce spaghetti wrong and let her put me in church dresses she was done with me #my dad wanted a person. he wanted a baby a child a tween a teen and an adult #my dad wanted to watch a person happen. which was different. /end ID.]

[murielsweating]

I’ve been thinking about “you can’t pin joy like a moth” all day.

[cricketcat9]

DEFINITELY the time for me to start devouring all my nicest things.