Whimsy

[surajraja]

I’m Akasha.

I’m an occultist. I like reading.

Surrealism has my heart!

Also paraphilic. Femme.

- I like non cis males, sexually and romantically.

Random outlet to post my shame and arousal, both. Anyone’s welcome and I love talking about pretty much anything.

[feral-ballad]

When death beats its wings at the window I hope I am not standing alone in the kitchen with a cup and a hairbrush, watching doves on a wire. I want to curl up in that dim, disordered bed where all my loves lie, elbow to cheek; I want the brief reprieve as the angel who came for me pauses, uncertain, trying to distinguish one breath from another.

Kim Addonizio, from Wild Nights: New & Selected Poems; “Beds”

[surajraja]

It’s time to go to sleep.

[zegalba]

Paul Cooper: 'Living Sculpture' (2001)

[surajraja]

I want a butch to clamp my nipples with a clothing hanger, put the hanger up high so it hurts. Tying my arms behind my back. Dehumanizing me. I want them to laugh at me and degrade me, take pictures. I’d beg Daddy to stop. Say I’m sorry. But they wouldn’t relent.

[surajraja]

I wonder if my masochism is my self inflicted punishment for a mediocre life.

[pmamtraveller]

Emilia Castañeda Martínez - Desire and the Beast

[surajraja]

I wish I was artistic or poetic or something. But my feelings are ugly and it’s all trapped within. There’s nothing beautiful about my emotions nor my suffering. If I could express it pretty at least I’d get attention.

[panoptinomicon]

[surajraja]

ButchFemme Miss Carrottes and Cannibal Man but it’s ButchFemme and he has a carrot strap. You know, for balance. Or to stay true to self, he kept the appendage of a dish he was going to make for other uses. You know, multi purpose.

[surajraja]

Traditional “heteronormative” dynamics with a butch.

[surajraja]

I need someone to beat me up so I can be pathetic instead of sad.

[surajraja]

I want Daddy to pet my hair and rock me to sleep.

[surajraja]

“This is a love letter to a nightmare. For centuries they dressed up love for easy digestion in the body of a fat little boy with wings, pale blue bows and anaemic looking flowers. Behind this bland decoration Love snarled its rictus through the ages. With shrieks of adoration it flung itself on human breasts, “to crush you, to suck your life away. I cannot drag my own weight over the crust of the earth so you must carry me on your back so that in time you will be crippled with my weight”. These words are in every heart in mating season”.

- The Stone Door

I hate it all, I’m internally convulsing.

[papayajuan2019]

i wear desperation so well. i almost don't want to take it off

[7dmom]

I am pure of spirit and ready to be challenged

[surajraja]

Aa Rang Phullan Da Vi Hor Goorha Ho Gya

Paani Pyaar Wala Pattiyan Nu Dho Gaya

Ajj Oss Da Deedar Mainu Ho Gaya

Na Gall Mere Vass Di Rahi

Ho Laavan Ishqe De Ambrin Udaarian

Mainu Pyaar Dian Charhiyan Khumaariyan

Mere Pair Na Zameen Utte Laggde

Lakha Chashmein Mohabbatan De Vaggde

Raatin mein Mithe Mithe suphne vi thaggde

Na Gall Mere Vass Di Rahi

[surajraja]

I am drenched in layers upon layers of filth. I’m so ashamed and disgusted. There is no good for me. I do not get the warmth of fire, I’m left with the ash it leaves, I desperately cling to the heat and my hands are charcoal.