Surprise Bitch

Professional Pessimist & Fast Food Critic

[ke-ray92-deactivated20201217]

Before January ends, I’m going to magically and extremely be blessed by the universe.

[introvertbard]

not gonna risk scrolling past this

[bob-belcher]

[makethelastonecount]

I wonder if anyone has ever written about me

[beefandcorn]

are you worried

About what? But yeah

[hornyspice]

[willow]

me: queen of having had enough 

[twitterlols]

im having a stroke 

[blackqueerblog]

Weeeiiird 

[lonely-kawaii]

Why did he think that was ok

[cannaqueers]

Eww, zodiac killer just keeps getting creepier

[socialistexan]

Someone save her.

[babyfairy]

OH NO LMAOO

[sadviolences]

[glumshoe]

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch men give you when they read you as male:

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch men give you when they read you as female:

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch your friends give you:

[libertarian-therapist]

The “excuse me, I’m passing behind you” touch I give people regardless of gender

[gifdeadpool]

How does it feel to take the persona of Deadpool?

[thother]

[subwoofer-sounds]

I hadnt even unmuted it yet and I smashed the reblog button so fast

[sunshineysprinkles]

If you’re reading this, it’s too late. The positive vibes are already coming for you, get ready. You have no choice but to have a good day now.

[topherchris]

[mistressofthedarkroast]

She is finally free

[gamecubist]

a masterpost

[ottomantwerks]

Better get your kids vaccinated so they don't catch

these hands

[ottomantwerks]

Stop fucking reblogging this