Survivor Storybook: Neverland @survivingneverland - Tumblr Blog

Episode 7 Confessionals (Part 1)

Okay...so Punpun went home 6-1, so if it was a unanimous vote I guess it was a good choice...they messaged me after the vote saying I backstabbed them "again"... And I feel kinda bad but at least they're not jury! Idk what the backstabbing is unless it was Ricky; but like that was all Austin's doing, so if there's any bloodshed it's all because of him. I'm really glad the Barrie people survived their tribal, because now we're 7 including Austin as long as we stick together. Hopefully Lydia has stopped hating people (although she mostly hated Jordan! but tbh after working with him here, mostly because I had no other options lmao, I've grown to trust him more). But of course, any alliance that's that big is inevitably going to collapse, and hopefully I won't get caught in that clusterfuck. I think that alliance also contains way too many threats so I'd have to find some way to...not go with everyone all the way in the future.

But that's a future problem, and all I need to worry about now is NuBarrie. I want Emma to go next since she seems more opposed towards us, plus even in the one conversation I had with Jake (who played and hosted with my mom Jessica) he already seems more likeable. I've realized I've never had one night without doing something because I've attended tribal every single time :) So I'm having a fucking blast.

So last night I got voted out. It was definitely a blindside. I am no longer completely blindsided because I always prepare for it at every tribal to see my name so I am not totally thrown. But nonetheless this still was a blindside. For this vote I didn't want to stick to old tribe lines because that's boring. We could have easily just voted out Chris and been fine, or the old Barrie's would have voted out Mitch with the vote doubler. I wanted to be on the right side of the vote doubler so I told Chris and Kendall I wanted to vote with them and take out Mitch. Honestly the idea to vote out Mitch came from Mitch. He kept bitching about how he was nervous of getting voted out because he already had a vote against him. I told him to stop complaining about it and do something to save himself.

This gave me the idea to try and vote him out and I thought that the old Barrie's would be down for it. As it turns out Junior had a plan of his own to vote me out for some ungodly reason. He claims it was to "get less blood on his hands because he has voted me out of a game already." I didn't know I was playing with such petty bitches and i would have to worry about other games in this one. But I guess I was wrong. Maybe there was more to it that I won't know until later, but maybe there isn't. I really thought I could have been aligned with Lydia, Kendall, and Chris. I apparently came on too strong with Lydia but when I am talking to people at work I tend to get right to the point. With Kendall she claims that she didn't have much time to do anything because she was approached very close to the vote (and she updated me on everything that happened as far as she knew while the votes were being read). Chris was nervous because I told him that people were writing his name down. Which they did. So I guess warning someone you want to vote with that their name is getting written down by people is the wrong move and I just won't do that anymore.... (Although I did tell Chris I was undecided on which side to vote with but then said I was gonna vote with him) ANYWAYS!

Now here I am voted out and not in the game. I think Junior got nervous about me potentially working with Jordan at merge. Because at merge this game is DEFINITELY going to be Jordan vs. Junior. If I SOMEHOW am the one to get in from this crazy twist then that would be amazing. I think I am the last person anyone on Smee would want back in the game right now. I would love to come back and make Junior shit bricks. Because he will DEFINITELY be my number 1 target. And for the record, it is because he got me voted out of this game and NOT because of another game we have played together because I am not that petty of a person. I have blindsided Jordan about 3 times in games and we still work together in others. If I am the one to come back that would be great, if not then I hope whoever does fucks. shit. UP.

Tonight was wild! I'm gonna make a confessional before tribal cause goddamn. Once again, I played a bit recklessly so I'm not surprised if it all blows up on me tonight.

So with Mitch taking a self vote, Junior wanting to jump ship, and Chris taking every advantage like the double vote, being in the minority doesn't mean shit.

Ok so Kendall did that thing she did where she throws out names without talking to anyone, so everyone wanted to go for Mitch. Of course, I like Mitch so I wasn't down for that.

I felt sort of shit out of luck, until Christine came to me asking for her help voting out Chris. Now honestly I really liked that plan because if Junior was ok with it, I have a lot of new connections and only one person who'd be mad, Kendall. I'm not super focused on keeping Barrie together, honestly they voted out Zack and I'm not over it yet. But Junior wasn't okay with it because of Bora so I'm working around that. He really wanted Stevie out and I completely understand why.

Stevie seemed...friendly until he suddenly became very not friendly. He apparently promised Kendall long-term protection if we voted the way they wanted too, but obviously he's going back on that because it sounds like he's voting Chris. That seems a bit messy. Also he was pretty aggressive with me over PMs about where I was voting, and then stopped answering completely. I think he'd be more beneficial to go than Chris or Mitch.

Also the fact that Kendall clearly made protecting Chris and myself a priority, it feels pretty fucked up to target Chris behind her back.

First of all, I'd like to personally apologize to the hosts for not submitting a single confessional until 8 people were out of the game. I'd also like to counter that by saying that nothing ever happened on both Smee tribes, so I'm using that as an excuse to justify being lazy. SO 8 people are out of the game. RIP Danny, Szymon, Rhea, Zack, Ricky, Punpun, Stevie, and Emma. I hardly knew ye. IDK a Danny. I was hoping to work with Szymon, but being inactive in another country really does a number on your social game, and I can imagine him being exhausted after Sr* L*nk*. IDK a Rhea or Zack either. Ricky was an ok dude, he kinda talked a lot for my taste but w/e no offense Ricky. I adored Punpun and I'm not sure why Barrie voted them out besides being not the greatest at challenges, they laughed at my jokes so that makes me feel great. Stevie was someone I talked to frequently, but none of our conversations felt genuine, and I'm surprised he went home over me. Emma was chill. But she was busy. So I barely knew ye. Speaking of being surprised that Stevie went home over me, I'm surprised Stevie went home over me. I can't make decisions for myself. At Sacrificial Lamb, I took a self vote thinking it would help our tribe win (news- it didn't, we were in the negatives, and Barrie ALL took self votes so that was a crapshoot) and it almost killed me. I didn't win individual immunity. Chris had a double vote, and seeing as it was Barrie v Smee, I thought he'd backpack off my self vote to send me packing. I accepted death that day. I even showed Christine and Samuel my idol clue and map in case I went home, so it wouldn't go to waste. And then I spent the greater part of Monday fighting for my life even though I didn't care that much. A metaphor for my real life honestly. So I talked to Lydia. Did I mention I like Lydia? She's smart and she has all her marbles (which is honestly more than I can say) and I'm glad I talked to her before Monday because she said we vibed well, which I agreed with. It turns out Lydia's the reason I didn't go home which is beautiful, I'd heard she was hesitant to vote me out, and I let her know no matter what she did I respect her decision. And she sent Stevie home because he pressured her into voting for Chris (which was my plan sorry dude it's the only way I could live honestly) and she didn't like that. I guess Junior hopped on board with that plan and voted Stevie out. Which is great for me. I am an idiot and I will gladly tag along with whoever protects me. I'm a sheep.

My alliance right now, solidly? Christine, Samuel, and Lydia. I love Christine. She is so gosh darn cute and good at challenges and dl;khs;ghs. I absolutely owe it to her to make up for my sin of not giving her an idol in Sr* L*nk*. I'm going to do whatever I can to help her out. Samuel is definitely one of the nicest dudes out here, and we mesh well and I really consider him a good friend. I'm fairly certain that Christine and Samuel voted for Chris last round like I asked them to (better than Stevie and Junior at least.) I like Junior, but I'm getting the same vibe from him that I got with Stevie. We talk, but it doesn't feel too real, y'know. ANYWAY I'm hoping my alliance of much smarter people figures shit out. I'm not here to win, I'm here to help the real winners.<3 I am oblivious when it comes to social relationships. I had no idea Stevie was going home. The only thing I can say about myself is I'm a vote and I'm diehard loyal. And I'm really good at challenges. I took a nap and didn't submit my score in time for Simon but we won anyway. A metaphor for my life honestly. Shout out to Kendall for being really good at challenges. This season is much better than Sri Lanka. It's not all returnees and (as far as I know) nobody is out for blood. Or colossal anuses. Then again appearances can be deceiving. I thought Jake B was cool and he ended up being one of the meanest people in confessionals and stuff. No offense Jake B but there's a reason I didn't vote for you. I'm terrible at Survivor because I play with my emotions in mind. I play with the nice folks. And I like helping the nice ones because they deserve to win. And if I have to be mean to mean people, I will be. My goal for this game to find an idol I can keep. And make jury. Again. Did I mention I'm grateful to be here???

I hope youre doing good kait <3

I am writing a confessional to celebrate. Huzzah!

Okay so the lost boys thing is finally happening! (I say finally like I have been waiting forever and it's been like 3 days) This challenge Grid 16 is satanic. It is so stressful, I forget how some of the games are played when they pop up, and even though it tells you not to panic, I still totally panic. It is a really cool game though, I really like the concept but in the reality of playing it, I hate it. I have been talking to a few people since I came back and Kendall seemed excited. I truly have nothing against Kendall and if I were to return to the game it would be pretty cool to potentially work with her.

Lydia I feel is fake. The conversations we have she seems to portray herself as thinking one way, then when I say something going along with that she gets thrown off. For example, she said merge is a new game. Then we were talking about me getting voted out and I was gonna ask questions then said it doesn't matter. Her response of "it doesn't?" made me inquire about her saying merge is a new game. If she truly believes merge is a new game then that shouldn't matter and I straight up asked her if she truly believed that and if we could move past it. It turns out my bluntness scares the shit out of her. I will not be duped by someone saying merge is a new game to then get blindsided by them again. She blindsided me once, she can do it again. I haven't really lied to her yet. I have just been super straightforward and honest with her and she can't handle it i guess? Idk I guess fake people don't like the truth.......But maybe she will get over her fear of me and realize I am a perfect meat shield. And who knows, maybe she is telling the truth and believes merge is a new game and we could work together. I just gotta get back in the game first.

Junior is the most interesting one of them all. Of course when we were added to the merge tribe I told people that I would want to go after Junior right away. It makes sense, he made me feel like my vote off was his idea. I was obviously betrayed by people, and it doesn't make sense for me to want to work with them. Which then in turn makes me and Junior the perfect #secretpairbeware. NO ONE would ever see me and Junior working together. I have told enough people that I want him out. It makes sense that I want him out. He made it feel like the vote was for reasons not pertaining to this game and that fired me up. Now I don't fully know why I was voted out and why everyone who voted for me made the decision but I am just gonna let it go now. If I get back in I would truly try and play merge as a new game. Mostly because no one would expect that from me. Again, at this point I just have to focus on getting back into the game and worry about what I will do in the game later.

Also, if I make it to part 2 and it is some social bullshit where people in the game currently have a say of who comes in and who doesn't out of the three I should just drop out now. No way in HELL would people actively choose to have me back over others. So if that is true then this game is rigged against me and I will be blind to anything or anyone that tells me otherwise :~)

*Moments Later*

So today I have been talking a lot to Austin and Jordan. I had originally thought I would work with Jordan immediately and go for Junior. Which he had confronted me about because that is what he heard. And as soon as I saw he approached me about it, that is when I came up with the idea of the secret pair. i had assumed he would be against working with me so I was gonna go against him, but him talking to me gave me that idea to try and work with him. Again, I think it will require a lot of blind faith from the both of us that we each will be very reluctant to give. So if i get back in we will have to see where things go with that. Sticking with Jordan and allegedly Austin and not being on the same side as Junior is also a good option quite possibly.

While talking to Jordan, we were talking about my vote off to try and figure out where people's allegiances lie. My vote off was very interesting because the people that did vote for me was the old Barrie's and Junior, an old Smee. Jordan said that the old Barrie's were tight and the 6 were gonna try and stick together, but them having Junior vote with them makes it interesting. because it calls to question who had to convince who and actually who's idea was it? When I was talking to Junior about it he said this:

"Like it was political cause it came down to a compromise between both sides & Mitch & Chris both couldn't go so as the names started dwindling on the list we decided it was something we could compromise on"

So when I was talking to junior I just got annoyed that he had to mention Tumblr big Brother when we talked about it earlier if it had nothing to do with it. Then when I was talking to Jordan and showed him that this is what Junior said I reread it and really paid attention to it and I thought about it more. He said both sides came to a compromise (Old Barrie & Old Smee). Mitch and Chris both couldn't go. So this conversation definitely involved at least Mitch, maybe Chris as well. Then names started dwindling on both sides. I know Mitch told me that him and Samuel talk a decent amount so I assume they are a pair so Mitch wouldn't want to vote out Samuel. When I talked to Lydia she mentioned she liked Mitch and they talked a bit. So I am assuming Lydia was in this conversation and not Chris. Or that it was Lydia and Chris present. And Lydia wouldn't want to vote out an Old Barrie member because it could all just be a sham to pick them off one by one. Then, why would anyone vote out Christine? She is sweet, really good at challenges, and seemingly loyal so far. And again, this goes back to me thinking Junior was afraid i would go against him at merge. I know the Barrie's were skeptical of me because I was telling them I wanted to vote with them, and telling them it was a situation of not sticking to old tribe lines and that I was putting myself out there. Yeah I was talking as if i had the upper hand because I was flipping to them and I easily could have not done it. So the 'compromise' between the two sides resulted in me getting voted out. This 'compromise' had to be made between people on both sides and at this point i am definitely thinking that Junior, Lydia, and Mitch may have a little something going on. Once this lost boys thing is over and decided with it is going to be really interesting to see where loyalties are going to fall, whether I am included in the game or not I am excited to see how it pans out.

Off to play the satanic grid!!

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